This is nice, very poetic, open to many interpretations.

If I may be allowed one comment:

It was in this instant that all reason left him.

Now it's my personal belief that reason should not be a detriment to 
enlightenment.  Maybe something like, "It was in this instant that all 
his inhibitions left him.", or "It was in the instant that he lost all 
caution."  These would imply that he let go of his fears, without 
necessarily letting go of his reason.

You have a few spelling and grammar errors, too; do you want me to point 
these out?  (Down, reason, down!  You're too darned pendatic; who cares 
if she uses "it's" or "its"?)  Sorry, ignore that man behind the 
curtain.

Good job.

-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com