Guess....

HTG
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kyle Pope <KylePope@cris.com>
Newgroups: rec.arts.anime.misc, rec.arts.anime, alt.fan.sailor-moon

Why not... 

Queen Beryl ("Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon")

LOOKS:  When she isn't sneering or enraged she's not bad looking.  As the
tallest character in "Sailor Moon" she has an elegance and grace only
height can bestow.  The bluish cast to the skin and the odd eyes might
take some getting used to but neither really detracts from her beauty. 
Her body does have a few sharp objects scattered about so embrace with
extreme caution. 

SMARTS:  Clearly quite intelligent as she manages to keep a bunch of
over-powered-up egomaniacs in line.  Understands how to delegate authority
and play different personality types off one another to acheive her goals.
Unfortunately she does have a tendency to underestimate the capabilities
of her opponents while overestimating her own.  Her inability to
capitalize on and learn from the mistakes of others proved fatal. 

PERSONALITY:  Evil.  She made a Faustian deal to acheive her position and
now she is the avatar of her evil mentor, Metallia.  She brooks no
disobedience or questioning of her authority and failure to remember that
will cost you your life or worse.  Like Bloefeld, her organization does
not tolerate failure either.  However, when pleased she can be almost
kittenish in her affection and generous in her rewards.  She also shows
the merest glimpse of a sensual and sexual personality that the right
person could unlock.  Remember always that she is queen in her own domain
and you had better treat her that way. 

HOME ECONOMICS:  She's a queen, remember?  Don't expect her to be slaving
over the kitchen stove or scrubbing the floors.  She is clearly well
attended by her minions and therefore you will never lack for good food or
a clean (if gloomy) place to live.  As her consort you need not ever have
to worry about picking up after yourself for as long as she lets you live. 

COMBAT SKILLS:  In the realm of magical combat her power is considerable
and not to be trifled with.  Her attacks are stone-based and usually
involve a lot of flying slivers and shards.  She can throw energy of
various types which can kill, destroy or imprison depending on her mood
and the nature of your transgression.  She also has various techniques of
mind control available to her.  She also has plenty of servants willing to
fight for her and their powers are not to be underestimated.  You will
have to work your way through a lot of underlings before you are honored
with fighting Beryl directly. 

SPECIAL ABILITIES:  Able to manipulate crystals of all types, usually
using them as weapons.  Can use a crystal ball to view distant events,
teleport over cislunar distances at minimum though greater ranges are no
doubt possible. Rules the Dark Kingdom and its inhabitants save one, who
rules her. 

COMPETITION:  Prince Endymion, known locally as Chiba Mamoru.  Her
jealousy over losing him to Princess Serenity drove her to serve Metallia
and destroy Silver Millenium rather than see him happy in the arms of
another woman.  Given all she's given up over his loss I highly doubt you
could overcome her devotion to this man, but it might be possible.  Just
make sure you *don't* give her roses as a sign of your affection. 

IN-LAWS:  No evidence is given that Beryl has a family.  Clearly she has
parents but given her nature they are likely dead or serving her in some
form in the Dark Kingdom.  In either case in-laws are not likely to be a
problem. 

FINANCES:  She's a Queen in a realm where magic use is routine.  Money is
a useless commodity to her and will be to you to as well if you net Beryl.
Anything you could possibly desire in her world or this one can be
materialized instantly once the proper skills are acquired.  Mansions and
exotic sports cars seem to pose no problem. 

SEX:  Likely as not it will prove very entertaining and imaginative once
you introduce magic into the bedroom, and I mean *real* magic.  Clearly
Beryl is a woman of strong desires given her devotion to Endymion and her
reaction to losing him.  If you can turn that devotion towards you, you
will have a sexual tiger on your hands (she could probably even turn into
a tiger) with an insatiable appetite for your attention.  She lost one man
to another woman and she's not about to let it happen again.  With magical
assistance stamina should be a problem unless the use of magic itself can
prove tiring.  In any event you will have a very interesting time
exploring the sexual possiblities of magic use with a very experienced and
willing partner. 

OVERALL:  If you aren't put off by evil and megalomania then Beryl is a
woman well worth considering.  There probably isn't anything she wouldn't
do for her lover including offering you a planet of your own to rule. 
Remember though that she is short tempered and likely to be very insecure
as she is on the rebound. Anything you say or do that evokes even the
slightest suspicion that you might leave her will provoke a violent
reaction.  Constant attention and reassurance will be necessary lest you
find yourself sharing shelf space with Jadeite. 

--
Kyle

"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered." - No. 6