Well, here is part two of, 'The Edge of Shampoo!'
(Does anyone else remember 'The Edge of Night?' Or am I dating myself by
saying I know what it is?)
From: fwhite@colfax.com (Frank White)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.misc
Subject: The Edge of Shampoo! (was Re: Ranma Fan Needs Answers)
Date: 16 May 1996 04:42:25 GMT
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NOTE: Due to technical difficultities (ie, my stupid computer
glitched and ATE THE FILE before I could transmit it!! I had to
retype it from scratch! (Sound of much BAPPING on a hard drive)),
this episode of SHAMPOO, THE SERIES was delayed a day! Sorry!
NOTE the Two: Hope nobody (Hi, Kun-chan, Kenji, misc Steves,
et al) minds if I don't respond right away to any additions you
make to these episodes. I have a definate story arc in mind,
with a conclusion and everything, and I want to get to it before
R.A.A. goes bye-bye!
And now, thanks to our sponser, Oxide-all - Oxide-all, for when you
want to soak your clothes in liquid oyxgen and get them freeze dry
clean - we are pleased to present the latest episode of... The
Adventures of SHAMMMMM-POOOO!
* * *
(Recap: Shampoo has been shampooed into forgetting Ranma! She's
also forgotten Cologne and, under the impression that her great-
grandmother IS a ghoul, is trying to swat her with an exam table in
Dr. Tofu's office. And you thought YOU had problems!)
"Shampoo! NO!" Akane shouted as Shampoo swung, holding the table
by one end and bringing it down like a club!
"IIEEE! GHOUL GO WAY!" Shampoo screamed.
Ranma heroically lept across the room to shove Cologne out of
the way! But the shriveled little Amazon, very spry for someone
who'd never see her 100th - or maybe it was 200th - birthday
again, scampered off on her walking stick; and Ranma, overextended,
tripped and fell, right in the path of the descending exam table!
He was staring up at the rapidly approaching object,his hands
already twitching into the "ouch" position, when suddenly there
was a "CRUNCH" and the table stopped.
Ranma blinked.
Akane blinked.
Shampoo blinked. And then said, "Oops."
The end of the table was resting on the skull of a huge panda,
who'd stepped through the door at precisely the wrong second.
There was a moment of absolute stillness, with Ranma, Shampoo,
Akane, Cologne, and Dr. Tofu all staring wide eyed. Then, slowly,
carefully, Genma Saotome held up a small wooden sign that said "Ouch".
And with considerable grace fell over backwards, out cold.
* * *
"Little ghoul is Shampoo's GREAT-GRANDMOTHER??" Shampoo gasped
a few minutes later, after Akane and Ranma ("Who you again?" Shampoo
had asked the teenager, causing him to grind his teeth in frustration)
had explained things to her. She looked over at the ancient Amazon.
"Huh. Shampoo must got STRANGE family tree!"
Meanwhile Cologne, keeping a watchful eye on her amnesiac great-
granddaughter, was explaining things to Dr. Tofu as he bandaged up
Genma's head. The panda was sitting a bit shakily on one end of the
replaced and somewhat dented exam table, sipping a cup of tea. Cologne
was perched at the other end.
"SUPER Xi Fa Xiang Gao is a more developed form of the technique; a
memory eliminating shampoo with a wash and set! Much more precise -
you can make a person forget half their name but remember the other
half - and MUCH harder to undo! For this, we'll need the strongest
curative shampoo ever devised - formula 1040!"
"1040?" Tofu questioned as Genma refilled his teacup from the kettle
sitting on a tray beside him. "I... I've heard of it. It's made of 11
special and rare herbs and spices, but the exact formula is a closely
guarded secret!
"Yes, but fortunately, it's a fomula I know! And," Colonge said,
drawing out a small brown cloth bag that was hanging by a cord around her
neck, "I even have all the ingredients we need right here! But we'll
have to be careful; they are VERY rare and hard to find! We only have
enough for ONE try!"
The door of the clinic opened.
"Oh, so THIS is where you two went!" Nabiki exclaimed to Ranma and
Akane as she came inside. "We've been looking all over for you, haven't
we, sis?" she asked over her shoulder.
"Hie," came a soft, gentle voice as Kasumi stepped into the room. "We
have such a great deal to plan about the wedding!"
Dr. Tofu's glasses steamed up instantly. "Ka-Ka-Kasumi! What a
suprise!"
"GURK!" Genma said, as Tofu neatly bandaged his mouth shut.
"Oh! Dr. Tofu! Hello! Uh, what's wrong with Mr. Saotome?" Kasumi
asked, looking dubiously at the wildly struggling panda.
"Ranma? Why, he's fine! Aren't you, Ranma?" Tofu asked, turning to
Cologne as he tied a tourniquet around Genma's neck.
"WOOHHH!" the panda moaned, and desperately threw himself to the side,
trying to get away from the addlepated doctor. Unfortunately the over-
taxed exam table was not up the the stress and collapsed, sending Genma,
Cologne, the tea pot, her stick, and everything crashing together to the
ground.
"My, Kasumi, you look very nice today! OH HO HO!" Dr. Tofu laughed,
and, oblivious to the destruction, stepped over the top of it to be near
Kasumi even as Ranma dashed forward to help his father.
Cologne, the teapot upsidedown on the top of her head like a helmet,
popped up out of the wreckage and bopped Genma one. "Baka."
"Come on, pop, snap out of it!" Ranma said, loosening the bandages
that make his father look like a exceedingly large mummy. "You should
have had sense enough to get away from Dr. Tofu the moment Kasumi walked
into the room. Here," he said, gathering up the spilled tea service and
handed it to his father. "Why don't you go make us all some tea? It
will help you calm down. Besides," he looked over at Tofu, who was
vibrating in place while talking inanely to Kasumi, who was giggling
girlishly, "until we can get Kasumi out of here, Dr. Tofu's going to be
no use to ANYONE!"
"Gruph," Genma agreed, and took the tray to the backroom with him.
The others fell to talking.
"So," Nabiki said to Cologne as she drew her notebook out, "how rare
ARE these ingredients you were talking about? They got a fair market
value?"
"You name... Ramen?" Shampoo asked Ranma.
"AAARRGGGH!!" Ranma wailed.
"That 'Yes' or 'No'?"
"My, you and Shampoo seem to be getting along so well today!" Kasumi
said to Akane.
"She's lost her memory and doesn't remember why we fight."
"Oh! But aside from that, how is she?"
"You're getting married, Akane? Anyone I know?" Tofu asked.
Fortunately, before things deteriorated too much, Genma Saotome
returned with a large teapot and some cups on a tray, and handed them out.
Dr. Tofu sipped his tea and continued staring at Kasumi.
Kasumi sipped her tea, then looked in the cup wide eyed and said "Oh my."
Everyone else sipped their tea and immediately spat it out.
"Whoa, POP!" Ranma gagged. "What sort of tea IS this? It tastes like
3 day old dishwater! Even Akane's cooking isn't THIS ba-" Ranma suddenly
noticed that Akane was glaring at him fixedly, her aura was starting to
turn blue, and her hands looked as if they were around the handle of a
mallet, or soon would be. "-uh, never mind," he said, finally showing
some smarts.
"RBBBRR RBBRRR RBBRRR," the panda mouthed, holding up a small,very wet
brown cloth bag.
"My BAG! The bag with the secret ingredients for formula 1040! You
used it to make TEA?!?" Colonge shrieked.
"Oh, MY!" Kasumi gasped. "Will it be fatal?"
"As soon as I get hold of him," Cologne said, raising her stick and
taking a step towards the cringing panda.
Fortunately before she could commit pandacide there came an interruption,
as from the doorway sounded a love lorn cry of "SHAMPOO!!"
(Will Shampoo ever get her memory back? Who is that in the doorway?
Mousse, or Alexis? Will my computer glitch again? Will I get this story
arc done before May 20? Tune in for these and other answers on the next
episode of "The Adventures of SHAMMMM-POOOO!")