Subject: [NOISE]Marriage Prospects: Shino, from _The Hakkenden_ (fwd)
From: Harvey Torrance Griffin
Date: 5/15/1996, 8:01 AM
To: fanfic@tendo-dojo.ranma.net


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: James Lynn <jamesl@garcia.efn.org>
Newgroups: rec.arts.anime

LOOKS:  Very nice.  Likes the traditional look, though if he decides to
grow his hair long again, he may look better in your wedding outfit than
you do. 

SMARTS:  Seems quite intelligent, and a natural leader.  More of a fighter
than a scholar, but presumably literate. 

PERSONALITY:  Serious to the point of solemnity, but his life has not been
exactly hilarious.  Loosens up considerably around his "brothers", and may
do the same around you once he's bonded a bit.  Honorable to the point of
excess at times; you may need to keep an eye on him to make sure his
naivite doesn't land him in deeper trouble than it has already (i.e.,
considerable).  Traumatized by spectacular parental demise (a familial
tradition).  Responsible to an extreme.  If you ask him to do something,
he'll do it or die trying.  Literally. 

COOKING:  Since he grew up with no one but his father for an unspecified
amount of time, then spent a year rambling around the countryside, he can
presumably keep himself fed at least adequately.  Will probably be more
than happy to cede the kitchen to you, however. 

FIGHTING SKILLS:  Awesome.  No high-faluting ki-blasts, but a warrior
who's been training with a sword since before he could walk.  You can
probably track him quite easily by the swath of unintentional devastation
in his wake (but that's true for the other seven, too).  Watch out for
him: he's a berserker. 

SPECIAL ABILITIES:  Can take out thirty armed guards by himself, wielding
a quarter-staff, *and* keeps the Dog Warriors together.  What more do you
need? 

COMPETITION:  Hamaji, Hamaji, and Hamaji.  She'll have to be dead before
he'll even look at another woman, and even that won't make a lot of
difference, as he's tenacious enough to carry a torch for a *long* time. 
On the bright side, if he decides you're the one (and Hamaji is somehow
out of the picture), he's yours for life.  He may, however, spend a lot
more time out with the boys than staying at home. 

IN-LAWS:  Good news and bad news here.  Banzaku will make a good, if
stern, father-in-law (presuming he lives that long), but you'll be stuck
with (boo, hiss) Hikiroku and Kamezasa.  Make sure you can hold your own
with the in-fighting.  On the bright side, you get Hamaji and Sosuke as
siblings-in-law.  Win some, lose some.  Oh, yes:  you get the rest of the
Dog Warriors coming over a lot. 

ECONOMICS:  While not exactly living high off the hog, he seems to get by. 
Maybe you can hit his aunt and uncle up for cash (and mortgage your soul
in the process).  Will not throw away your hard-earned money by gambling
or hitting the brothels, unlike some "brothers" we could mention. 

SEX:  As a healthy adolescent, will probably be quite happy with your
loving, and is responsible enough to make sure you have fun too.  May call
out Hamaji's name at intimate moments.  Will probably want kids, and if
the pattern holds true, will traumatize them for the rest of their lives
by dying in a spectacularly messy fashion. 

OVERALL:  Not too shabby, if you can keep him alive and out of pitched
battles with demonic forces.  Keep your life insurance paid up.  And your
house insurance. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Theresa Wymer  posting from jamesl@efn.org