"Who's life is it, anyway?"
                                    a
                         Beware of Falling Objects
                                production
                in association with the creative genius who is
                              Andrew Stodden

I see I've met someone as humble as myself :)

Whose humble? :)

Ranma-chan: Two of them grabbed my arms, another two my legs. I
tried to break their grip, but this body isn't as strong as my
male one.

I have to disagree that Ranma wouldn't STILL be able to break their

[big snip]

they have a BIG edge.

But enough grousing about this.

Sigh... my story is a little mroe realistically weighted... rape 
gangs big enough to hurt Manga or Anime Ranma don't exist.

[Akane walks smoothly over to the table, and gently deposits
Ranma-chan, laying her on her back. She turns and walks back over
to the door, crouching down when she gets there to take off her
shoes. As she does so, we realize that the discoloration on the
back of one of the shoes is actually soaked through blood. Akane
realizes this too, and looks at her other shoe to find it in
similar condition, looking down at her feet, she sees both pairs
of socks sodden with blood at the heal, although it all seems to
have dried. She puts 

at the heel, 

fixed

Dr. Tofu: She was lucky, there is some tearing, but no real
damage. It didn't help much that she was virginal, but I don't
think that could have been avoided, all things considered. Akane,
I'm required to take a. sample.

a sample.

This is an odditty... Word 7 shows these as triple periods, denoting 
pause, but fails to export them correctly to msdos text, instead 
using the single period.... Until I fix this, it will all look like 
this... so if it seems wrong, just fill it in correctly yourself 
please... when the next update is posted, I'll fix it before sending 
it, but I'm not resending this

Akane: Thank you, Doctor. I think I will be headed home then.

I think I'll go home, then.

(I don't think Akane would be quite so round-about, YMMV, of
course.)

She is in a little bit of shock, and is '' this close to talking 
about herself in third person.

Dr. Tofu: Oh... um, Would you like a lift home then?

I don't think Tofu has a car, but then no one in Ranma 1/2 seems to
have a car :)

Who cares?  It's my fanfic, and he just won this car yesterday! :)

[She proceeds down the hall to Akane's room, and gently opens the
door. Her eyes widen at the sight of both Akane and Ranma-chan in
bed, together, under the same covers. Visions of just what she can
do with all the money she will make dance through her head.]

Nabiki: <wow>

<Wow>
^_^

The art of understatement... maybe <_wow_> would be better.

towards surprise to, but there is more than a little wonder there
as well, she 

surprise too,

fixed

[As Akane hands the camera back, we see that it looks like
plasticine squeezed in someone's hand, until in oozed out
everywhere. It looks, in fact, exactly like an artistic
paperweight. Nabiki looks down at the ex-camera in her hands and
oddly, the lens, unbroken, picks this moment to fall. Both girls
watch it begin it's decent, and the camera zooms in for a close up
of the 

its

fixed

lens, which seems to slow it's spinning fall. Flickering in the
light, images 

its

again, fixed (found another right after and fixed it too)

Akane: Ah! I needed this!

[After a few moments, she suddenly notices a swirl in the air of
the room. Anger flaring, she stands, whipping around to face...
Ranma-chan? Shock quickly vies with anger for dominant emotion, as
she sees that Ranma-chan is removing the robe she was wearing.
Having finished with the article of clothing, Ranma-chan looks up,
and sees Akane watching her. Raising a hand to wave uncertainly,
she speaks, still in that little eight year old girl voice.]

Ranma: Hi...

[Ranma-chan turns away, looking for a place to put her robe. Akane
fumes.]

Akane: <That stupid pervert, following me in here! He isn't even
looking! Talk about...>

Nice touch.

If you haven't already noticed, I'm winding Akane up like a clock 
spring

Akane: I guess it is to much for you to face so soon.

too much

fixed

Akane: You did.... Um, Kasumi? Could you come in here few a few
seconds?

for a few seconds?

do'h! fixed!

Akane: Kasumi, I don't know how I am going to explain this to
Father or Mr. Saotome, because Ranma is in no shape to do it.

[Akane is relieved to see she guessed right, Kasumi's face
relaxes, something she can accomplish is all she needed. Kasumi
nods in response.]

you might want to replace these commas with semi-colons or seperate
these clauses into seperate sentences.

Fixed.. idea order changed... kasumi is described first, then akane.

Kasumi: Nothing, Father, I just grabbed the kettle when it was
still to hot.

too hot.

fixed

Nabiki: And one of my bra's is missing! The only person who is
close enough in size to wear it is Ranma-chan and he probably
wouldn't wear it even if it could cure him!

True enough :)

:PPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Kasumi: Hello Dr. Tofu, it is good to see you.

Hello, Dr. Tofu,

fixed
 

Dr. Tofu. And to see you, Kasumi.

Some note on him not falling apart for once might be appropriate...

I've subdued some of the more wacky elements of this universe.

Kasumi: You know you are welcome anytime Dr. Tofu.

anytime, Dr. Tofu.

Kasumi: I don't think we should chat much longer, we have much to
do.

longer.  We have much to do.
or
longer; we have much to do.
or
longer, since we have much to do.

fixed

Dr. Tofu: Mr. Saotome, I am afraid this is more than just a social
visit, I must bring up recent events and there connection with
your son.

their connection

fixed

Dr. Tofu: It is nothing that he has done, it is more something
that has been done to him

done; it is 

fixed

Genma: NOOO!!!!! I REFUSE the believe THAT!!!!!

to believe

fixed

Nabiki: There is still the matter of who's going to pay for my
bra, I certainly don't want it back now.

bra; I certainly
or
bra.  I certainly

fixed

Nabiki: You've changed Akane, or maybe you've been changed.

changed, Akane, 

Akane: .sorry. We heard Mr. Saotome's yell upstairs. Kasumi, do
you think he will be okay?

Sorry.  

That weird Word problem again...

Kasumi: I think he will, he will not stay away long in any case,
to much is holding him here.

I think he will.  He will not stay away long in any case; too much
is holding him here.

[Kasumi stands, and walks over to Ranma-chan, who has been
standing patiently beside Akane. Talking her shoulders, Kasumi
looks into her face.]

Kasumi: Mr. Saotome!...... Genma!.....Father!

Why does Kasumi think to do this?

She is the most observant of the sisters, depsite her lack of reaction 
to events around her... she often knows and perceives the truth, but 
lets others figure it out for themselves.

Akane: I'm serious, you know. If you tell anyone what I said, I
will put you on the moon

moon.

fixed

Nabiki: I think you'd better feed her soon, you remember the
appetite she had before, don't you?

soon.  You remember

fixed

Akane: I'll take care of Ryouga, you feed Ranma. Deal?

Ryouga; you feed

fixed

Nabiki: Sometimes, maybe. But he has also brought some things on
himself.

So true.

:)

Akane: I'm all set, are you ready to begin?

set.  Are you

fixed

Akane: <I wonder why his isn't using his full skill, he knows we
aren't going to hurt each other.>

why he isn't

fixed

Ryouga: <She is good, no wonder Ranma keeps getting beaten by
her.>

[Still fighting, Akane notices that Ryouga is beginning to sweat,
and it is trickling out from under his bandanna.]

Akane: <His bandanna? I never noticed that before.>

What?  I find it implausible she never noticed his bandana before...

She never noticed the fact that he is a pig before... :/

[The two exchange a few more blows, blocking and shifting for
position.]

Akane: <I know! It looks exactly like the bandanna worn by
P-CHAN!>

I also find it implausible she hasn't noticed this before...Keep in
mind she has seen Ryouga get wet without turning into P-chan...

What? When? My Ranma 1/2 knowledge can be sketchy sometimes.

Akane: <Weird, I punch him through the wall, and don't even break
a sweat doing it! I need to think about this...>

Now why exactly did she get mad?  I get the impression she didn't
quite make the breakthrough of Ryouga=P-chan...so did she just have
a subconscious realization she's hidden from her consciousness or
just a burst of spontaneous anger or what?

Standard Akane reaction... she's angry enough to get violent, but not 
totally sure if she was justified or not...

Akane: Now that you have stopped attacking people, Shampoo, maybe
you will listen to what I have to say. It won't take long, and I'm
sure you will find it absolutely fascinating.

I can see Nabiki saying that, but I don't think Akane would say,
"I'm sure you will find it absolutely fascinating."

Too round about...Akane tends to get to the point.

She is trying to talk with Shampoo, and isn't haveing much luck.. her 
words are just dripping with sarcasm.

Also keep in mind Shampoo is substantially stronger than Akane...

Er... nami-ken! :) Not anymore! (at least, not in this particular 
contest)

Cologne: If my suspicions are correct,  I think she is quite
capable of doing just that, great-granddaughter. Just agree to
listen to her. I too, am interested in hearing what she has to
say.

Then again, maybe Cologne knows better than me :)

Heh! should have kept your mouth shut! :PPPPPPPPP :):):)

Cologne: -who appears not to act like Ranma at all. Except that
their aura's are almost exactly the same, I would have said they
are two different people. The only difference being that something
seems to have been torn away or suppressed, leaving a.  hole, if
you will.

a hole, if you will.

Same funky Word error

Akane: I. think it would be better if we moved somewhere private,
Ranma seems upset whenever I mention the subject in her presence.

private.  Ranma seems

fixed

[The scene fades out to black. It fades back in to a shot of the
Tendo garden, we here voices, mostly one talking with what sound
like questions being 

hear voices

fixed

Cologne: I will tell you what I know, you deserve that I think,
for your own benefit. The scroll I had treated the technique as a
rumor, recording it 

what I know.  You deserve

fixed

Ranma-chan: Why don't you want to tell me? Nabiki said something
about me being cured.. Am I dying Akane?

dying, Akane?

fixed

Ranma-chan: You are angry! I'm sorry I made you do that, I didn't
know you'd. please don't be angry with me.

you'd...please don't

Word bug

[Akane shakes her head, giving up. Ranma-chan smiles, wrapping her
towel around her waist and walking towards the door. She stops at
the sound of Akane clearing her throat.]

Akane Aren't  you forgetting something.

Akane:  Aren't you forgetting something?

fixed

Akane: Latent voyeuristic tendencies. Nabiki's bra must have
warped your mind.

while I might say the first sentence here, I don't think Akane would
speak like that.  The second sentence, on the other hand, yes :)

I like it... it stays that way. :)

Ranma-chan: Fine by me, it's to hot to bother with it anyway.

me.  It's too hot

fixed

[Both Nabiki and Akane facefault, Kasumi blinks again.]

Akane: Well, Great-grandmother showed up as well, and that put a
crimp in Shampoo's plan. I talked to both of them, the end result
being I'm now a student of Great-grandmother's

Great-Grandmother's.

fixed

Akane: I would like you to keep an eye on Ranma while I go down to
Ukyou's and then by the Nekohantan. I shouldn't be gone long.

Nekohanten

bad Japanese knowledge...

Akane: <I also want to drop by Dr. Tofu's and see if something's
wrong with me. It is a hot day today, and I can barely even feel
it, even Kasumi looks uncomfortable in the heat.>

Has she been studying with the Aes Sedai? :)

more on this later in the story...

Dr. Tofu: Why are you going to Ukyou's? I thought you two women
were in disagreement over a few. things.

few things.

Word bug

Akane: <It is a nice day. I think I'll walk to Ukyou's, it isn't
that far.>

Ukyou's.  It isn't

It's fine the way it is...

Ukyou: I let you in when you're with Ranchan, but I don't have to
when your alone.

you're alone.

fixed

[Ukyou gives the door a furious pull, and we here an ominous
creaking 

hear

fixed

[Akane can't make herself move, and just stares at the still
retreating Ukyou.]

Akane: <Is that all she sees in him? Someone who can't be beaten?
Some superhuman man who is her friend, that she should worship him
in return?>

It's called denial...:)

Yeah... I know!

Cologne: You fainted, girl. There is no denying that, but as to
why? Well, I thought you would loose most of your anger in the
blow, but I didn't realize 

lose most

fixed

Cologne: Lie down on you back.

your

fixed (I make that typo alot!)

Cologne: Nonsense girl, when you do a real workout, then you can
feel like your dead. A light warm-up like this shouldn't tire you
out.

you're 

fixed

Akane: Just ramen

ramen.

fixed

Ranma-chan: Oh! The nice old woman, I wouldn't mind seeing her
again.

woman.  I wouldn't mind

fixed

Akane: Well, it's set then, I said I would be at the Nekohantan at
ten tomorrow, and you'll be coming with me.

Nekohanten

fixed

Akane: Don't worry, knowing this family, I'm sure it will all get
eaten

eaten.

fixed

[The scene cuts as Akane and Ranma-chan disappear from the
kitchen. scene: STILL: The front hall, where Ukyou is taking off
her shoes while Kasumi waits. Ukyou is dressed in a pair of slacks
and a blue shirt, her hair 

Dressed to look male or female?

Doesn't matter...

Akane: Ranma, this is Kuonji Ukyou, she was an. old friend of
yours.

an old friend
or
an...old friend

Word bug

[Ukyou is visibly nervous, but replies as best she can manage.]

Ukyou: Hello, Ran-c.ma

Hello, Ran-c...ma

Word bug

Akane: I'm glad you came, Ukyou.

Ukyou: I. had too.

I had to.
or
I...had to.

Word bug

Akane: Ranma, you knew Ukyou when you were young, she is one of
your oldest friends. I was hoping you would remember her as well,
but. I also think she can help

but...I also think she can help.

Word bug

Akane: I promised I would demonstrate some kempo for Ranma, do you
mind if we do that after tea?

Ranma.  Do you

fixed

[scene: It is the Tendo dojo again, but the hole in the wall has
been repaired. Akane enters on one side of Ranma-chan, Ukyou on
the other.]

Akane: . and while Ukyou's style of fighting isn't as well known
as mine, it does have an advantage in that it uses both hand held
and throwing weapons, which adds to her range and power.

Akane: ...and while 

Word bug

Ranma-chan: .Sure.

Sure

Word bug

Ukyou: As easy as standing up. I knew you would be able to do it,
Ranma.

I knew you'd be able

doesn't matter.. changed it though

(You seem to not use contractions a lot...of course Japanese doesn't
have contractions, but in colloquial English, contractions are
common in spoken speech unless the user is trying to sound formal.)

You'll note that sometimes Kasumi avoids using contractions... I'm 
trying to write it from an english standpoint, as that is easier for 
me.

Ukyou: I'm glad you enjoyed it, we'll have to do this again some
time.

it.  We'll have

fixed

Ukyou: Anyway, I should get back home, I've got to open early
tomorrow.

home.  I've got

fixed

Akane: She runs a restaurant nearby, she's. not close to her
parents.

nearby.  She's not 

Sentence fixed, Word bug for tripled periods left alone.

Ukyou: Take me to where it. it happened, Akane. please?

it...it happened, Akane.  Please?

Word bug

Akane: I. I don't.

I...I don't know.

Word bug

Akane: <Tofu said he knew I walked there. was it just coincidence.
or did he. find me.>

there.  Was it just coincidence, or did he find me?

Word bug

Ukyou: Show me. please..?

Show me...please?

Word bug

Akane: Ukyou, I.

Ukyou, I...

Word bug

Akane: Could. could I have another cup please? I seem to have.
spoiled. this one.

have...spoiled...this one.

Word bug

Ukyou: You're. not. sure..    Well, that helps a lot.

You're...not...sure?
You're not sure.
You're not sure.

Word bug

Akane: Friends.?

Friends?

Word bug

I assume there's more or this is unfinished :)

Yep.. just gotto tpye it from memory

Closing comments:

You see to have had some trouble with . appearing at odd times and
some cases where commas exist that should be periods...Probably a
text corruption problem I'd guess...

It's abug in word 7 I hadn't noticed... I'll fix it with a kludge 
when I post more... and when I send it to the remailer.

Your cinemtographic skills are very impressive.  Best use of Script
format I've seen.

Errr... Two years of screen ed does that to you. You'll notice alot 
of camera angles apearing as well. :)

I rather disagree with the basic premise of this story (I still
don't think they should have succeeded in raping Ranma...not joe
ordinary thugs), but given that premise, the rest of the story flows
very well.

The premise will be explained later (this is a subject of much 
arguement on the ffml and has been mentioned before, but once the 
story is finished, all the question should be answered)

I'm not sure how well the Akane gets ki powers/Recovery of Ranma
story lines work together either...

It does... :)

But despite that, this is a very powerful story on a very difficult
topic.  

Thanks!

I hope you finish it :)

So do I! :)

(Thank you for not bringing Ami along! :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew Stodden <eos@ghost.cc.cmu.edu>
"But mostly, you learn to close your eyes and tell youself,
'This just isn't happening.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------