The theatre lights are half-dimmed, and shadows cloak the seats in 
darkness. All that can be heard is some hoarse breatihing, until a knock 
comes at the theatre door.

Lyra: Hello?

A slight figure with blue hair, green eyes, and a shimmering green combat 
suit hesitates at the door for a moment, then walks into the theatre.

Lyra: Is anyone here?

A low moan rises from the front row of seats. Lyra walks towards the 
sound.

Lyra: Hello?

As she closes in, the shadows part to reveal a short, squat halfling. 
There is a slight but noticable smell of grease.

Lyra: You must be... <consults a small slip of paper> ...Frito?

Frito: Ughhhh... <His eyes light up briefly as he sees Lyra, then he 
buries his head in the seatback.> Go 'way. 

Lyra: You certainly don't *act* like I was war-- er, told... <Looks 
around the theatre> Where's Windir?

Frito: <Turns around and looks suspiciously at her> Who *are* you?

Lyra: I'm Lyra. The new member of your review team?

Frito: Oh, yeah, the boss said somethin' about interviewin' some girl for 
da job... 

[Editor's note: That's right.]

Frito: <Gets up and looks up at the ceiling; sarcastic> Yeah, thanks. 
<Looks back at Lyra> Okay, okay, she ain't bad lookin'.

Lyra looks pleased for a moment, before she remembers who she's talking 
to.

Lyra: Yes, I suppose I'm pretty. I'm *also* fluent in three languages and 
can curse in seven more. <Looks around the theatre again> Now, where is 
Windir?

Frito's face falls again.

Frito: He's been kidnapped.

Lyra: KIDNAPPED?

Frito: Kidnapped. <Slumps carelessly back in his chair> A couple'a 
cute-lookin' broads wearin' halter tops broke in here a few hours ago. Da 
one wit' long black hair said somethin' about finally gettin' their 
review; da one wit' bright red hair grinned and said "Yeah, by hook or by 
crook!" Dey grabbed Windir and ran out da door.

Lyra: <Incredulous> Didn't you try to go after them?

Frito: *Yeah*, I ran after 'em! Da red-haired one said they didn't need 
no hentais, and kicked me back into da theatre. When I came back out, 
they was gone.

Frito slumps further, then sits upright and shakes his fist at the door.

Frito: DAMN ya, ya pompous arrogant fool! Why'dcha have ta go and get 
yourself kidnapped!

-----------------------------

Many thanks to Firehawke for creating Lyra. 

Next time, "The Great Anime Crossover from Hell": The Review!



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

..Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.