Waaaaah....I was saddened already, from the first paragraph. I liked this...
Although...it's a bit unclear to me why you chose these two particular 
anime characters.  It seems to me that the story is solid enough to float 
on it's own, i.e. if you changed all the names of the characters, it'd 
still be a good story.   So...maybe...some more introduction before Lita 
falls into the trap.  Maybe some indication of what's happened in her 
life to make her submit so easily....

Kevin Eav--First Deacon of the Church of Ryouga, Keeper of the Compass, 
                          Member of C.A.S.K.E.T.
email:geist@holly.colostate.edu --  IRC:Ishido at #ranma! -- Ishido@RanmaMUCK
"The world...is a dark and lonely place...beyond hope, beyond care..."-Ryouga
                 Member of Okonomiyaki Addicts Anonymous
"C'mon kiddo.  You've got to *find* Akane.  You really are a pain in the 
                  fanny sometimes, ya know Ryouga?"-Ukyo