Either you or the fanfic.com goofed because you fanfict got cut of in the
middle of a word several times.
*sigh* That was done on purpose. As a means of reenforcing the suddeness
and finality of it. I guess I'm gonna have to make that more clear in the
beta.
- Mike of No Particular Title or Handle
NO, not more angst! ;) This was an interesting read, and I liked it a
lot. I am almost tempted to suggest that you *not* give it a happy
ending. Having Kasumi commit suicide would be going too far, but just
leave the reader with the impression that she will just sort of exist for
the rest of her life, in a perpetual stupor of self-denial.
But I like the 'Kasumi to the rescue' bit, better. ;)
As to the parts being cut; The first one, I was slightly confused.
(Even more than normal!) By the second one, I was starting to get an idea
that it was deliberate. So it does become apparent what you were trying
to do. You might want to emphasize the point a bit more, although I'm not
sure what would be the best method to use.
I am looking forward to seeing more of this.