At 15:10 4/29/96 -0400,Joshua Rowan wrote:

On Mon, 29 Apr 1996, Foxx & Musica Zodiak wrote:

Am I the only one who got the ends of the paragraphs chopped off in this 
fanfic for some reason?

Nah, I got 'em too.... was a good fanfic... who wrote it?

so did I, what's up with that.  Aside from that, it looks good!

arggg!  It supposed to be like that.  Where it cuts off is where they all
get blown into little bits of Ranma character.  It usually means something
in a story when an "error" like that is consistantly repeated.  I thought
the way it was cut off, along with the use of an outside character that
was hit just as quickly but survived to see the aftermath, worked very
well.

Perhaps if there were hyphens where the words were cut off, more people 
would know it was cut off intentionally.  I thought it was a file error at 
first too, but even then it wasn't a problem.  There was one major 
inconsistency, though.

              S M O K E  A N D  M I R R O R S

By Michael Loader
Characters and Backstory by Rumiko Takahashi

CORONER'S REPORT--------

NAME: Tofu, Ono
AGE: 24
CAUSE OF DEATH: Burns, destruction of chest cavity
TIME OF DEATH: 9:30 AM, 5/23
IDENTIFIED BY: Kasumi Tendo

  ...The funeral, standing with a small knot of Hibikis and Kuonjis 
and one madly sobbing Tofu as the caskets, mercifully closed, were 
lowered into the earth. The birds, oblivious to everything but the 
warm sun and fine day, had sang their hearts out as the first 
shovelfuls of earth was tossed into the gaping holes. She had just 
stood there, wishing it were over and yet afraid to go, because that 
would mean they would really be gone...

Now how can Tofu sob so much if he doesn't have a chest cavity?  

Otherwise, it's a good story.  Mike, don't explain why the dojo gets blown 
up; you might even want to take out the bit about the snipers.  The 
explosion is a lot darker if nothing gloomy happens ahead of it.