Again, my brain stalled, tell me what you think.
Prologue:
Phong Tsu finished loading the crate while Liu Xiang checked the
address to which it was to be sent. "Stupid computer messed up again. I
hate those Computerniichuan 986s. It switched writing systems in the
middle of the address, and I can't read this European script."
Phong grabbed the invoice and examined it. "Something about Tokyo.
And...Tengu? Shampoo? Tendo? Kendo? Hmm. They paid in advance. Ah!
I see what it must be!" He confidently scribbled down the address and
Liu penciled it onto the mailing label. He had 100% confidence that he
was correct. And he was half right...Although it would have helped if
Liu hadn't been looking at the wrong address anyway.
Any Color You Like
A Ranma 1/2 story
Based on the Manga and Anime Series by Rumiko Takahashi
by
John Biles,
not quite dead yet at the University of Kansas
Kasumi was hard at work in the kitchen, busily cooking dinner as the
usual anarchy raged around her. Ranma-chan fled through the kitchen
being chased by Shampoo-Neko, with an angry Akane hot on their tail and
Nabiki trying to snap a shot of Ranma-chan, who was dressed in a now
rather revealingly ripped T-shirt and not much else. Kasumi smiled,
wondering briefly if insanity ran in her family, and if so, why she was
immune.
The thought briefly struck her that perhaps she was insane and they
were the sane ones, but then she decided that no one could scream as much
as they did and be sane. Of course, sanity is in the eye of the
beholder, anyway. As long as they didn't wreck her kitchen, her haven of
sanctity, they could do whatever they wished.
The doorbell rang, and Kasumi went to answer it, since Ranma-chan
was hardly presentable right now. Whoever it was, they had to be kept
from entering until Ranma-chan could get properly dressed. It was a
delivery boy.
"Hello, Miss. Your shipment from the Canton Hair Care Corporation
is here. Looks like you paid in advance, so if you'd just sign here."
He offered Kasumi a pen and a invoice to sign. She nodded and signed,
listening with one ear as Ranma-chan's screams faded upstairs.
"Is anything wrong, Miss? I hear screaming." The youth looked
genuinely concerned.
"No, nothing. Just some of my sister's friends having fun." The
sound of a yowling cat joined the screaming crescendo. Kasumi took the
large crate under one arm. The delivery boy blinked, as the crate was
quite heavy.
"Well, I've got another delivery to make. Do you know where
the..." He read the invoice again. "The Necrohanten is?"
"Must be a mispelling. I bet they mean the Nekohanten. I'd be
happy to give you directions." So she did, then went inside and closed
the door. Briefly returning to the kitchen to turn down the heat on the
soup, she took the crate upstairs to her room and opened it. It
contained dozens of small bottles of colored liquids, creams, bars of
soap, three hair dryers, and several sheets of paper and a small
booklet.
Kasumi blinked. "Did I really order all of this?" She
doublechecked the address. "Tendou Dobo,456 Ida Street, Nerima District,
Tokyo Japan" "Dobo? I guess someone can't spell. Well, that's our
address. I guess after all the products I've bought from them, I must
have qualified for a free prize or something." Checking the top sheet of
paper, she read:
Honored Miss Customer:
In recognition of your long time support of our corporation, we have
included several new bonus products in the hope that they will convey our
endless appreciation of your patronage. Feel free to share them with
your friends. Many of them will be available in our new catalog, which
should arrive in just a few days.
Your most Obedient Servant,
O. G.
Kasumi smiled. It was always nice to be appreciated. She began
examining all the many products she had recieved.
* * *
Shampoo paid the delivery boy and hauled her box of hair products
inside. Finally she had recieved her order from the Canton Hair Care
Corporation. Why this order had taken close to a year, she had no idea,
but now she would finally be able to make Ranma hers once and for all!
It would have probably gotten here earlier if there hadn't been so many
mispellings on the mailing label.
* * *
After dinner, Kasumi took her box of hair care products to the
bathroom and started making space for all of them. Nabiki and Akane
wandered by, and noticed Kasumi emptying dozens of bottles of hair dye,
hair spray, soap, conditioner, perfume, and other products into every
available space in the bathroom. Nabiki said, "Wow. Planning on
starting a hair care business, Kasumi? I'd be happy to be your business
manager for only 20% of the profits."
Kasumi smiled. "My company sent me all these bonus products because
I am one of their best customers."
Akane picked up one of the bottles. "Beautiful Blonde Hair Dye,"
she read off the label. "Be the envy of your friends as you catch the
attention of every man in sight with lovely blonde locks of hair." The
box had pictures of Marilyn Monroe and some blonde Chinese woman, both
dressed in the same outfit. "Do not take internally, this is a hair
dye. If you try to sue us because you drank it, we will laugh at you.
Put it in your hair. Your hair. Not your dinner, not your lawnmower.
Your hair. Dilute four ounces with four ounces of water, then apply as a
shampoo. Allow to dry, with or without assistance of a hairdryer.
Dispose of remaining unused diluted dye in sink or toilet. Do not use as
fertilizer, soup, or water for the pets. That means you, Fong Hsu of
Xiangsi province. And don't put it in water balloons, or wash the house
with it either. Open flame is right out. And don't drink it. Yes,
Fong, that means you too. Dye Effects last until removed with CHCC Hair
Dye Remover #2 or #4567.9, or until the color grows out. And just incase
you have already forgotten, don't drink it."
Kasumi laughed. "Who would be foolish enough to drink hair dye?"
Nabiki smirked. "I suspect that someone has tried every single
thing they listed on there not to do with it." She picked up the bottle
and gazed at it. "I wonder what I would look like with blonde hair?"
Akane blinked. "Different I guess."
They all laughed a little, then Kasumi said, "You're welcome to try
it. I have a big bottle of Hair Dye Remover #2 in here if you don't like
it."
Nabiki looked at the picture on the bottle, then at the mirror
again. "Maybe I will. I mean, I can just wash out if I don't like it.
I've had this hair style for so long..."
Akane nodded. "Changing your hair is a big decision." She
subconsciously reached up and nervously twined a lock of her short hair
around a finger. "Not that I had full control of my last hairstyle change."
Kasumi looked at all the different bottles. "Why don't we all dye
our hair together? We could each pick a different color, try them out
and see how they look on each other? I haven't done anything fancy with
my hair in a long time. I've got all these other products too if you'd
like me to do anything fancy with your hair for you. It would be a shame
if it all just sat around the bathroom lonely and unused."
"I don't think hair care products get lonely, Kasumi." Nabiki
said. "Well, I'm going to be blonde. How about you two?"
Kasumi and Akane began rifling through the box. Akane pulled out a
bottle of white hair dye. "I didn't think anyone would want to dye their
hair white."
"We could dye a white stripe down the middle of Kasumi's head so she
looks like a skunk," Nabiki said, laughing a little. Kasumi laughed.
"Only if you let me curl your hair, Nabiki-chan." They all laughed
at that.
Nabiki pulled out a bottle of purple hair dye. "We could make Akane
look like Shampoo!"
"Her hair isn't long enough, Nabiki-chan. It would be kind of cute,
though." Kasumi looked Akane up and down.
Akane began to wave her hands and back up. "Oh no, I don't want to
look like Shampoo."
Nabiki looked over at Kasumi. "Yes, I think purple is definitely
Akane's color."
Akane looked over at Kasumi who was giving Akane the same look that
Nabiki was. For a moment, Akane truly sensed that her oh so different
sisters were perhaps not so different and more truly related than most
people think. "Only if Nabiki lets us curl her hair."
Nabiki laughed. "For this, I'll help you curl my hair. Deal?"
"Deal." Akane nodded nervously. Nabiki always seemed to get the
best of any deal. What was the catch in this one?
* * *
Ranma was studying in the living room when a shadow loomed over
him. A female shadow. He looked up and saw a purple haired silhouette
looking down at him. "Shampoo? Did you cut your hair?"
"I'm not Shampoo!" the woman yelled, and Ranma recognized Akane's
voice.
"Akane?" Ranma blinked. Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome looked up from
their Shogi game. The three Tendo sisters stood near Ranma. Nabiki now
had curly blond hair. Akane's hair was still short and straight, but the
same shade of purple as Shampoo, and Kasumi's hair now had a white streak
running right down the middle.
Mr. Tendo's eyes became huge. "My daughters? Your hair..."
Nabiki struck a Madonnaesque pose. "How do I look?"
Mr. Saotome said, "You look ...different."
Ranma looked Nabiki up and down. "You look pretty good, Nabiki.
Your old haircut was was pretty ugly, I have to say. You looked like
Prince Valiant."
Nabiki frowned a bit, and Kasumi giggled. "Well, I have to agree
with Ranma. You look much better with curls. Your old haircut was ugly,
too. This really brings out your natural beauty more."
"You really think so, Kasumi?" Nabiki said.
"How do you think I look, Ranma?" Akane said. She hovered over the
still sitting Ranma, with hope in her voice.
"Uh..." Ranma wasn't quite sure what he thought. It did look kinda
cute on her, but why had she died her hair purple? Was this some kind of
a test? What answer was she looking for?
Akane began tapping her foot. "Well?" Anger was creeping into her
voice.
Ranma sweated slightly. "Umm. It looks...nice?"
Akane's frown evaporated and she pulled Ranma up into a hug. "Thank
you, Ranma. That makes Akane very happy to hear you say that."
Ranma blinked. A hug was not what he was expecting. Then again, he
had complimented her, so maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise.
"Uh...you're welcome. You don't look half the tomboy you did before."
Not entirely true, but that ought to make her feel good too, he thought.
He was still trying to figure out why that comment made her angry as
she socked him through the wall and into the pond.
Kasumi shook her head. "You really shouldn't beat him up so much,
Akane. He is your fiancee. I estimate it is 75% likely he is now
transformed into a girl by the pond and will storm back in ready to fight
with you. And I'll have to clean up the mess."
Mr. Tendo blinked. "How did you figure that out, Kasumi?" 75%
chance? What was the other 25% possibility?
"That's what usually happens." She sighed. "I'll go get the
broom."
Nabiki giggled. "You're so smart, Kasumi." She shook her head.
"Why am I giggling? I guess I must need sleep."
Akane sighed. "At least he did think it was nice."
"That's the way, girl! See the positive!" Mr. Tendo said. "Maybe
we all could do with some sleep. You can apologize to Ranma in the morning!"
"Apologize for what? He insulted me!" Akane fumed a bit.
"He did try to complement you. In a rather clumsy way, I have to
admit." Mr. Saotome straightened his glasses. "I'll go talk to him."
He headed off towards the porch and the pond.
Akane sighed again. "I'll try to think of some way to make it up
to him." She turned and started to leave, then said, "What do you think
of Akane's new look, papa?"
Mr. Tendo blinked. "You mean your new look?"
Akane blinked. "Um, yes. My new look."
Mr. Tendo smiled. "If it makes you happy, it's fine with me. Any
color you like is fine with me."
Akane smiled. "Even Ranma said it looked nice." She sprinted upstairs.
Nabiki said, "Well, I ought to finish my homework. Silly homework.
All that pointless thinking. What good is that going to do me, anyway?"
Kasumi returned with a broom. "No fight?"
"No fight," Mr. Tendo said.
Kasumi smiled faintly. "I suppose I should be glad I was wrong. I
actually will get some sleep tonight."
* * *
Ranma groaned a bit and turned over as the sunshine peeped in his
window. There seemed to be an arm around his waist. And a body in very
close proximity. "Oh great, Shampoo's crept into my bed again." He
peeked. Not much was visible in the darkness, but he could see purple
hair. Where was Pop, anyway? A quick listen revealed not a single snore
from Pop. Probably went off for a snack and left me with Shampoo. Maybe
if I'm real quiet, I can sneak out before she wakes up.
Ranma started to get up, but the woman pulled him down and closer to
her. Their faces were almost touching in the darkness. She yawned and
woke up. "Nihao, Ranma!"
He shook his head. Her voice didn't sound quite right. Must be
sleep. Who else but Shampoo would crawl into his bed?
She pulled him even closer, then kissed him. "Akane is sorry she
punched you through the wall last night. She wanted to make it up to you."
Ranma's eyes got really big and then he fainted.
"Aiya! Wake up, Ranma-groom!" Akane said, shaking him awake.
What a strange dream, Ranma thought as he was shaken awake.
Dreaming Akane was in my bed. As if Akane would ever...
"Aiya! Ranma-groom wake back up! Akane so happy!" Akane pulled
Ranma close and kissed him on the lips. Ranma experienced his second
faint of the day.
* * *
Eventually, with much effort, Ranma managed to make it out to the
living room. Everyone was there. Kasumi was eating and reading the Tao
of Physics. Mr. Tendo was reading the paper, and to his left, Genma was
eating like there was no tomorrow. Across the table, Nabiki was reading
some manga and giggling loudly as she ate. Akane almost dragged Ranma
over to the table and shoved him into place, then plopped down in his lap
and started eating.
Ranma stared at Akane, his food, then his pop, who hadn't noticed,
being distracted by food. He finally shrugged and started eating as best
he could. Kasumi looked up. "Ahh, I see you and Akane have come to
better terms, Ranma."
Ranma said, "I..uh...Does anyone know why Akane is acting like this?"
John Walter Biles : MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu http://falcon.cc.ukans.edu/~ranma/falcon.html
http://www.dhp.com/~wraven/john/index.html
If you've ever watched the game warden through a gun sight...
You might be a redneck.