At 09:31 PM 4/26/96 -0700, you wrote:

Here's my latest bit of work. C&C is appreciated and requested. Thanks to 
everyone who helped with ideas, and especially to SkyKnight for chewing me 
out, Panda for an EXCELLENT idea, and everyone else who screamed, ranted, 
and raved at me until I decided to continue.

     :)

I think THIS one is MUCH better than the last one I posted. Enjoy!

     Yes it is. Keep it up (though I think Chapter ZERO is finished, time to
go on to chapter ONE :)

John closed the expansion bay, sealing it, and took a deep breath. This 
experience was completely new to him. An odd thought occured to him, and he 
could but smile.. Could it be possible a fanfic was being created in his 
home universe about him?

     This paragraph was just *WRONG* Funny, but just sick and wrong. :) Put
more of these kind of statements in the story. :)

     Seriously though, if you can give me a few days, I can give you more
involved C&C.
--
Ben Kosse bmk7411@cs.rit.edu
BGC Otaku and worshipper of the Red-Eyed Goddess and her music.
Anime, RPG's, computers, poetry (read/write), music (listen/compose).
Author of the Bubblegum Crisis theme pack (see the homepage below).
Homepage with anime and other interests. (http://www.rit.edu/~bmk7411)