A little critter named Chris Davies wrote ...
|>
|>	Well, neighbors, this will in all probability be the last that I
|>write for a while.  Please be assured that, given half a chance, I will be
|>back to continue this and other stories, but I honestly don't know when
|>that will be.

Aww, say it isn't so!  I love your stories!

|>	I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has
|>written to me about my stories to date, whether to offer constructive
|>criticism, or just to say "That's great!", or to ask for stories that they
|>missed.  As incentive, with this story I'm instituting a policy whereby
|>everyone who sent me e-mail about my last story will recieve a copy of
|>this one, and anyone who writes to me about this one will get a copy of
|>the NEXT thing I write ...

Yay!  Now I'll be on this list!

|>	A "bonking" noise resulted.  "Ow!"
|>
|>	Great ... Serena sighed, and turned around to apologize to whoever
|>she'd hit ... and her jaw refused to move.
|>
|>	"Aw ... not YOU again," Darien Chiba groaned.  "Can't you throw
|>anything without hitting me on the noggin, Meatball Head?"

I don't know about this though (I may be remembering incorrectly,
probably am, actually, but ...).  Would Serena & Darien *really* never
recover their lost love for each other?  Would she *really* keep 
hitting him on the head with miscellaneous items she throws around? ;)
Would he really stick around to be hit on the head by those
miscellaneous items?  

One other thing that pops to mind ... Have they (Darien & Serena) seen
each other more recently than Serena & Molly have?  It seems like it,
or he  wouldn't be saying things like "Can't you throw anything ....".
It implies that she's been constantly doing that.

|>	"Artemis, don't be petty.  We don't know where Mina is, we don't
|>know where Lita, Raye, or Amy are.  We DO know where Serena is, and this
|>is where we're staying."

They didn't bother to keep track of the rest of the girls?

|>	After a few moments, the black cat recovered, and her features
|>twisted into an expression of anger.  "FINE!" she yelled.  "Who needs you!
|>I took care of her for months before you EVER showed up, and I did it
|>without the help of bloody Central Control!  Screw you, Artemis!"

I don't know if I could imagine Luna cursing, though it does seem 
appropriate here ...

|>	Grocery shopping is one of the most boring, pointless exercises
|>known to humanity, Serena grumbled to herself as she walked through the
|>produce department.  Half the time, the food she bought here went to waste
|>as she put it in the fridge, ate out half the time, and forgot about her
|>fruits, vegetables, and meats.

What's she been eating, then? Has the food she's been buying at the 
grocery store been going to waste?  Or just the stuff from the produce
department?  If it's the latter, it's the comment about meats that
threw me ... I don't usually find meat in the produce section. (She
hasn't been eating meats either?) 

|>began to solidify into another form.  First the clothes -- armor over the
|>vital anatomy, and weapons.  Then the physique -- somewhat more

Armor?  Weapons?  Sailor Moon?  With armor?  And weapons?  What kind?
She ends up using her tiara anyway ...

|>	"I am the hacked-off fighter for love and justice, SAILOR MOON!
|>On behalf of the moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil!  And
|>yes, you bloody git, THAT MEANS YOU!"

hacked-off?  git?  Hmmm, I think I'm going to have to figure out what
these mean ...

|>	"MOON!  TIARA!  MAGIC!"
|>
|>	And that, as they say, was that.
|>
|>	Luna slowly poked her head around the corner.  Sailor Moon was
|>standing over the small pile of dust that the youma had left behind.

Pretty weak youma.  It didn't even say anything ...

|>	She walked out of the office ... no, to be perfectly honest, she
|>strutted out of the office.  She'd patched things over with Molly, and now
|>for Darien.  Her Prince.  The man she'd loved, without realizing it, for
|>nearly seven years.

More than that, really.
 
|>
|>	Luna dropped down into Serena's arms, and they walked out of the
|>elevator, looking for all the world like a young woman with her cat.
|>
|>	Which is, after all, what they were.
|>
|>
|>				The End.
|>			       (for now)

I really liked this one.  But then, I really like most of your
writing.  ;)  I hope you're planning on continuing this.  It looks
like it'll develop into an interesting story.  Will Darien go through
his stomach-ache transformations again when Sailor Moon's in danger?
Does he still have strange dreams about the moon princess, wondering
who he really is?  Will he do the Moonlight Knight thing?  Will they
find (or even try to go look for) the other girls?  Has Artemis gone
to find Mina?  Is Raye still at the temple?  

Oh well.  I'll try to be patient.  :)  I didn't mean for this list of
comments, I guess, to get so long.  If you've gotten this far, I'll
have to say again that I hope you'll get back to writing again soon.

Take care, and good luck in whatever you're doing!  Hurry back!

 - jenn