On Fri, 26 Apr 1996, Jennifer Lee Hom wrote:

A little critter named Chris Davies wrote ...
|>
|>	Grocery shopping is one of the most boring, pointless exercises
|>known to humanity, Serena grumbled to herself as she walked through the
|>produce department.  Half the time, the food she bought here went to waste
|>as she put it in the fridge, ate out half the time, and forgot about her
|>fruits, vegetables, and meats.

What's she been eating, then? Has the food she's been buying at the 
grocery store been going to waste?  Or just the stuff from the produce
department?  If it's the latter, it's the comment about meats that
threw me ... I don't usually find meat in the produce section. (She
hasn't been eating meats either?) 

She's been eating out, and forgetting about her food, so often it _all_ 
goes to waste.  He was just listing the fruits, vegetables, and meats for 
variety.

|>began to solidify into another form.  First the clothes -- armor over the
|>vital anatomy, and weapons.  Then the physique -- somewhat more

Armor?  Weapons?  Sailor Moon?  With armor?  And weapons?  What kind?
She ends up using her tiara anyway ...

I think the tiara is the weapon.  And the armor would probably be the 
different type of material we see over her upper torso.  Just being 
descriptive, again.

I really liked this one.  But then, I really like most of your
writing.  ;)  I hope you're planning on continuing this.  It looks
like it'll develop into an interesting story.  Will Darien go through
his stomach-ache transformations again when Sailor Moon's in danger?
Does he still have strange dreams about the moon princess, wondering
who he really is?  Will he do the Moonlight Knight thing?  Will they
find (or even try to go look for) the other girls?  Has Artemis gone
to find Mina?  Is Raye still at the temple?  

I'm betting that the Moonlight Knight or some variant of him is around - 
the main divergence point in this story seems to be between the first 
series and Sailor Moon R, meaning that the Knight was still created when 
the crystal couldn't seal Mamor^H^H^H^H^HDarien's memories and love for 
Serena away completely.  That would also explain why Luna couldn't 
restore his memories - with all of them wrapped up in the Moonlight 
Knight, the memories just weren't in him to restore.

Excellent story - I've just got to add a comment or two of my own.  
Shouldn't Molly's name be Molly Umino, not Molly Osaka - after all, by 
the naming conventions in this story, her husband's name is probably 
Melvin Gurio Umino.  Although, admittedly, she could have kept her maiden 
name, which would make it work out well - just a little detail that might 
have been overlooked.  On another note, it's interesting to speculate how 
the different arcs from Sailor Moon would have been avoided.  The most 
obvious change is probably that Vampeel never attacked Molly, or did it 
while she wasn't on the phone with Serena, so Serena never became Sailor 
Moon there.  The rest falls out easily enough through coincidence - 
it's entirely possible she had only a fleeting crush on Alan, and without 
the spirit gained by being Sailor Moon, he never thought her worth a 
second glance.  Without Reenie/Chibi-Usa, the Dark Moon would never have 
come back in time - at least, not to that specific time.  Uranus and 
Neptune probably dealt with the Death Busters themselves - without Rei's 
dreams, and without being Sailor Moon, Serena would never have gotten 
mixed up in this.  Without Chibi-Usa and the Pegasus, SuperS never would 
have happened - and without Nepherenia from SuperS, Stars wouldn't have 
happened.  (Probably, that is, given what I know about Stars.)

       And my only real complaint about the story is that it leaves me 
really wanting more - and yet you're going to just leave us hanging there 
for a while?  Aargh! :-)

--
Scott Johnson |
zagyg@io.com  |              This space intentionally left blank.