Afternoon all,

Nightelf scribbled down: 

A good alpha, though it was a little confusing due to the transition 

from first to third person.  A recommendation: if you can, keep it all 
first person.  It add such a feel...the detachment between story and 
reader is narrowed by it.  With the first person, Cassi comes out much 
more, her thoughts and feelings much more pronounced than in the 
third-person format.

    Thanking you. :)

    Switching it all to first person is an idea. Like I said in the 
Dreams intro first person is something I haven't tried so this was an 
experiment. Looks like it was a good idea. Switching it to all first 
person and maybe have a captain's log type deal for the third person 
stuff......
    Thanks for the C+C. Quickest C+C I've gotten since I subbed here. 
;) Well one vote for all first person, only got what 224 votes to go? 
;)

Good job, and I'll see you at A-Kon.

    Akon Ho! Pre reg has been extended to May 10th! :))
    Make shift Phantom Riders Trading Cards should be done by the 31st. 
:) Just need to ink in Saf and the others. (my design 2 final)

Nightelf
nwl9354@tam2000.tamu.edu

    Bentley
    Bentley4@ix.netcom.com