---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Anna DeWitt <dewit003@maroon.tc.umn.edu>
Newgroups: rec.arts.anime.misc, rec.arts.anime
Subject: Marriage Prospects: Akane

"Watch me buurrnn..."

AKANE TENDOU (There can be only one)

	Looks:  Objectively, only average.  But in person she has that certain
something that compels boys to think of her as the most desirable
woman on Earth.  Maybe it's a pheromone.  Some people are much more
vulnerable to this effect than others.
	Smarts:  Average.  She's isn't so much clueless as refusing to
recognize certain clues that lead to uncomfortable truths.  And she
seems to do okay at school.
	Personality:  Quick-tempered, jealous and a double dose of Takahashi
stubborness.  She can be very sweet, but her life seldom affords her
the opportunity.
	Cooking:  Poor but improving.  Akane's main problem is that she cooks
in anger, which clouds her culinary judgement.  As she learns inner
peace, she should be able to cook edible food on a regular basis.
	Fighting Skills:  Good.  Can certainly beat anyone who hasn't trained
all their lives; the problem is that most of the cast has.  If "The
One to Carry On" is canonical, I suspect she has more or less accepted
that she will one day marry Ranma (whether or not she likes him) and
has slacked off a bit because she can count on him to do the fighting
and rescuing.
	Special Abilities:  Is one of the few people who can regularly clock
Ranma, adept with improvised bludgeons.  (Evidence for carrying a
Hyper-Dimensional Hammer is limited.)
	Competition:  Prepare for death duels with pretty much every teenage
male martial artist in Nerima, plus a few from other places.  Even
Ranma.  He may say he's just doing it because his father insists, but
deep down he knows he loves her (and vice versa).  Takahashi-sensei
says so.
	In-Laws:  Soun, Kasumi and Nabiki.  Soun and Nabiki will probably be
upset that you beat out Ranma, who they've been pulling for all this
time.  Kasumi will smile and be pleasant.  You may also end up with
Ranma and Genma as in-laws, if the parents decide that Nabiki will be
stuck with the ancient promise.  (Then she'll really hate you.)  While
not technically an in-law, you're probably stuck with Happosai too.
	Economics:  The Tendou dojo seems to be more of a financial liability
than an asset, unless you can turn it around.  Akane has some acting
experience and can sing, so might do okay in entertainment (but
remember her aura of infatuation.)  She might also consider pro
wresatling or pro martial arts.
	Sex:  Skittish.  People have been trying to push their physical
affections on her since she hit puberty, and she's not at all happy
about being touched that way.  Lots of gentle understanding will be
needed to make her comfortable with the idea of intimacy.

	Overall:  Way more trouble than she's worth.  Even if you can get her
away from the current crop of suitors, you'll spend half your marriage
getting her back from the latest wacko who wants to kidnap her and
make her *his* bride.  ("In my country, we do not recognize Japanese
marriage laws.")

SKJAM!
(flames on low please)