On Thu, 11 Apr 1996 Foxtrot the Furryous's enquiring mind wanted to know:

"Sauce Wars"?

Could some one explain this, please?

Foxtrot the Furryous
...I don't suffer from Orlickitis because I'm my own .sig char...

  Ah.  The Sauce Wars....
(settles back into an overstuffed leather armchair near a fireplace)

  It all started from a conversation about MREs.  The Orick asserted the he 
liked MREs, and had even kept the tiny bottle of Tobasco from one because 
it was so cute.  Nathan responded to that by stating that Tobasco was to 
be eaten, not worshipped.  The Orick then appeared ina flowing white 
robe, proclaiming the merits of Tobasco and urging all to hail the spicy 
messiah.
  You can guess the rest of it.  The forces of Mustard quickly rose up, 
and the forces of Mayonnaise announced their presence (though they have 
not yet entered into the fighting), followed by Soy, Ketchup/Catsup and 
other tomato-based sauces, A-1, Sweet and Sour, Nori (Yes, dried 
seaweed in the Sauce War!), and others.
  Currently, A-1 and Ketchup/Catsup and other tomato-based sauces are 
allied.  They are negotiating a treaty of alliance with Mustard.  Soy and 
Sweet and Sour have joined together.
  I am the Princess of A-1.  Calla and Macken are the Queen and King (and 
this somehow makes me the daughter of my fictional characters. what a 
mess).  Someone kidnapped Calla (well, a goddess gave Calla to him after he 
pronounced the goddess winner of a beauty contest), and took her to the 
City of Soy.  Macken and his forces are attacking the City to rescue 
Calla of Soy.
  Between a couple of the other characters, skirmishes have been going on 
involving pouring copious amounts of very spicy sauces down throats.  
  I'm not entirely sure what anyone else is doing.

-joyce, Disciple of Kasumi
Kasumi cooks with A-1, too!
Joey-kun no iinazuke!

-----------------------------
Princess joyce: But father, why isn't mother trying to escape on her own?
King Macken: I'm sure she is.  That fiend must have her imprisoned in the 
  strongest of bonds!

Queen Calla is sitting in a small cell, filing her nails. J.J. appears 
with a tray of food.
J.J.: Are you still hungry, m'lady?
Calla: Hmmmm...I would like a few more peeled grapes.
J.J.: Yes, m'lady. (He peels the grapes and leaves them with her, then 
  closes the door of the cell and starts to leave.)
Calla: Wait!  You forgot to lock my cell door!
J.J.: Oh.  Sorry. (locks door and leaves)
Calla (leaning back, eating the grapes): So where's Macken?  When are 
  they going to start fighting over me?