i haven't abandoned "wierd" yet, it's just on hold for a
day or so.
Ryoga's Big What?
by PhoneyNT
-
It was very early in the morning on Saturday, Japan time.
Ryoga wandered through the alleyways.
"Where am I now?"
Outside, a huge neon sign blinked, "F.A.O. Swartz."
"And why can't I ever seem to beat Ranma? Ranma! As soon as I find you, I
will destroy y--" he cut off his rantings when he tripped over a trash can.
Down he went to the ground with it, his head landing near the can's opening.
All kinds of disgusting trash and something heavy poured out onto his head.
"Ow!"
-
8:30 AM.
"Oh, for pete's sake, Akane! Quit your silly ranting! I was *not* making
eyes at Shampoo, she squirted low-dosage pepper in them!"
"Yeah, right! You expect me to believe that, you...you pervert!" With
a crash Ranma blazed through the trees in the backyard and out into the
day sky.
"Tomboy!"
-
A large bundle slumped to the sidewalk in front of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.
Ucchan came out and dragged it in.
"Ran-chan, what did you do this time?"
"Shampoo sprayed pepper spray in my eyes and Akane thought I was 'making
eyes' at her!"
"Don't you get tired of her always beating you around?"
"Yes!"
"So why do you put up with her? I, for one, would never do those kinds of
things to you."
"Uh...er...I have to go! Bye!" Ranma was already out the door.
Ucchan sighed. "One day, Ran-chan, you'll see it my way...and then you and
I can both be happy."
-
Ranma bumped right into Akane on the way out.
"So, gotta go see Ukyo too, eh? Shampoo's not enough for you, huh?"
"Uh..."
"You aren't coming in my house until you promise to stop fooling around!"
"Why do you care, anyway?"
"Uh...just don't come back until you promise, okay?"
"Certainly, you're not jealo--"
With a wham, Akane's mallet dealt him a second punishment for the day.
-
11:00 AM, Japan time.
Ryoga felt a little cramped.
"Where am I?" he thought. "What are all these animals doing in here?"
He cocked his ears at a distant voice. "One-stop Boeing 757 to Tokyo, Japan.
Please fasten your safety belts. Our stewardess will demonstrate safety
belts for you.
All the crates around him began to shake horribly, making a loud clattering
noise. A few dogs began yipping. The pig in the nearby plastic crate seemed
to take a liking to him.
Ryoga decided to inspect his new treasure. So shiny, so elegantly crafted.
Flat on both sides. Fat. Rugged. He flicked the switches on it back and
forth. Ranma had always sprung surprises on him and called them martial arts
techniques. Now he had his own surprise.
Ryoga put it back in his pack, pulled out two pillows, one for himself and
one for his new pig friend, and went to sleep.
-
It was late evening in Nerima.
Ranma set up camp right behind his room. He stared wistfully at the window.
Of course, it was boarded up by Akane. He saw a flying bucket from the
corner of his eye.
A second later, she looked up and saw a smug Akane on her balcony.
"Have a good night, Ranma...-chan!" then she laughed hysterically.
"Aaaargh!"
-
Ranma-chan slept fitfully through the night. She couldn't seem to get Akane
out of her mind. Her brow was covered with the sweat of sleeplessness.
"Argh," she grunted, then jumped out of bed.
Glancing to her left, she realized she didn't have a clock with her.
"Damn it. Oh well, I'll go to the shopping district and check out a clock.
And maybe buy a snack or two. Man, I wanna sleep..." she thought
dis-jointedly while she started on her way there.
Old habits have a way of manifesting themselves at inconvenient times.
Ranma-chan's topless chest was testimony to this.
-
2:07 AM. Tokyo, Japan.
The airport worked tossed Ryoga roughly out of the pet compartment.
"What did he do to this pig, anyway?" The pet pig was trying to get to
Ryoga. "An animal molester. Folks these days."
-
Ranma-chan stood out in the square. Business was fast moving. The street
was almost full. It was dark. Suddenly a teenage boy(by the sound of it)
piped up.
"Guys, whoa! Check that out!"
Ranma-chan looked around for what the source of interest was. She located
the speaker and followed his and his friends' eyes. Down. Suddenly it
dawned on her. With the moonlight glancing off of them, they were obvious
as the moon itself and looked even better. She blushed and turned around.
Two women gasped and gawked.
"Girls these days! Honestly!"
A rather large hand groped at Ranma-chan. Martial arts instincts kicked in.
Soon the offender was lying on the ground, moaning in pain, his hand twisted
behind his back.
"Wow! Do some more moves! We like that ... bounce ... in your step!
"Aaargh! I didn't mean--at home I never wear--no, that's not--"
A purse smacked her upside the head. "Learn some manners, young lady!"
"You shame us all!" piped up another woman.
"Now, you die!" a deeper voice boomed, surprising everyone.
"Eh?" Ranma-chan moaned. "Ryoga?"
It was Ryoga...but he looked somehow different. More dangerous. The
whistle-music from "Regulate" by Nate-dogg emanated from his pack. Something
glinted at his side. A glinting different from the bounce of moonlight on
Ranma-chan's bare skin. A lethal glint.
"Ranma...you pay. Now."
"Surely you won't attack a topless girl in public, Ryoga!"
"Shut up, you cross-dressing girly-man! You'll not fool me this time!
I didn't know it was you, until you started fighting. You bully, you always
beat up people! But it stops here and now!"
"I resent that," muttered Ranma-chan. "You asked for it," she hissed at him,
cracking her knuckles. She slipped into a combat stance. Ten burgeoning
nosebleeds from various males in the crowd exploded simultaneously.
-
"Click, click, chack," were the sounds of Ryoga's new technique when he
readied it for Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan paused. "What th--" She threw herself sideways behind a tree
the second before a loud bang sounded. The crowd scattered.
"Like this, Ranma? Nine millimeter! It's my new, big gun."
"Blam!" spitted the gun, turning up the earth near Ranma-chan's knees where
she kneeled behind the tree for cover.
"Real honorable, punk!" Ranma-chan yelled before landing a mighty jump-kick,
which had no discernable effect.
"The police use these things. So, why can't I?"
"Amaguriken!" she yelled, and her fists tore up Ryoga ... 's umbrella?
"Oh dear, Ranma. You shredded my umbrella. I had no idea it was so
fragile. You'll have to pay for that." Ryoga smiled insanely. Before he
had said anything he had already jammed the pistol in Ranma-chan's mouth.
"On the ground, now!"
Ranma-chan got on her knees, then lay backwards knowing the last thing she
might ever taste was the steel in her mouth right now. In a perverse show of
gallows humor and also to stop any more drool from escaping from her mouth
around the barrel onto her face (it was uncomfortable), she made a point out
of getting as much flavor as she could.
"This is it, Ranma!" Ranma-chan thought to herself between sucks. "I can't
get out of this! A gun *in* my mouth! I'll never see Akane again..." she
choked up. "Why am I acting like such a wimp? Guys don't act like wimps..."
She was hot and bothered and filled with despair. Sweat poured out from
wherever it could. Incidentally, this made her body glisten in the night's
light.
"What are you doing, Ranma?" he jammed the gun forward in her mouth. She
shook with the force, jiggling all over. Ryoga's mouth gaped open. He had
never really taken a good look at her before. Now he realized how well-
endowed Ranma-chan was. His nose started to bleed watching Ranma-chan slurp
on the pistol. "Wow..." His mind began to leave him, and was replaced by
a single powerful, sinful feeling...he imaged Ranma-chan with a different
kind of "gun" in her mouth...
-
To be continued. I can't decide what direction this story should go in.
If I continue it at all depends on whether or not you, the reader, want a
continuation.
Remember, before you flame me for this fic, that I wrote this
in 1 1/2 hours while downloading some utilities off the 'net.
drward@versanet.com | we436@freenet.victoria.bc.ca | drward@richmond.infi.net
http://www.versanet.com/~drward - http://www.freedomnet.com/~sstiles
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| ******** END * TRANSMISSION ********* |
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drward@richmond.infi.net