From: The Tendo Basement, rgorick@eleven.uccs.edu
On Sat, 30 Mar 1996, Andy Skuse wrote:
Queen Furryous: <gasp!>
Prince Panda: <gasp!>
Sir Zodiak: <gasp!>
Sir Virgo and Jody The Red: <gasp!>
Director: Oxygen tank on the set! NOW!
I've heard of breathless, but , in the words of Shampoo... "This is stupid!"
ROTFLOL!
What is this, Spaceballs?
Frito: AAAAH!
Windir: I believe that my compatriot is undergoing the quite natural
reaction of those exposed to this travesty of a parody. While there is
much about the tropes of Science Fiction (and especially of the risable
attempts made by most producers to transfer it to a visual medium) that
is worthy and indeed deserving of satire, this production of Mel Brooks'
merely adds support to the argument of those who believe Mr. Brooks
should be placed up against a wall and vigorously shot.
Frito: Awww, come on, Windy! Da girl that played da princess had some
truly awesome...
Windir: <Warningly> Frito, do remember that we are supposed to keep
discussion at a family level, unless we put "Lemon" in the subject...
Frito: ...HAIR, I was gonna say *hair*.
Windir: Frito, surely you did not intend to perpetrate yet another
repetition of that exceedingly tiresome joke --
Frito: Why not? It fits the topic! Besides, ain't that what *she* said?
Windir: <Sigh> In any event, I much preferred "Quark," with Richard
Benjamin. The first episode expressed rather more wit in thirty minutes
than Mr. Brooks managed in his last two movies.
Hey, I thought we agreed that we'd try to stay out of the "Spamalot"
thread!
Windir: While we did indeed decide that voluntarily absenting ourselves
from this thread would be in the best interests of all concerned, there
are some things that simply cannot be ignored, in the name of humanity.
So, what do the two of you have to do with humanity?
<Silence>
The Queen and the Prince smile and set off in a run for the stables.
Sir Virgo: That WENCH has killed Sir Zodiak!
Jody The Red: That wasn't in the script! Let's get them!
Sir Virgo: I'm with you!
Sir Virgo and Jody The Red run after the fleeing Queen Furryous and Prince
Panda.
King Rob(backstage, flipping pages): that was quick... faster than when I
killed off Allegra during the War...
Windir: <Sternly> You speak of this as if it were something to be proud
of. While there is indeed a cathartic effect to the death of evil
characters, and the death of a beloved character can add dramatic
poignancy to a good story, there is nothing meritorious in the peremptory
disposal of characters that have become inconvenient.
Frito: Yeah, Allegra was a babe! Why'd she have to die?
Now, come on, guys, I'm sure he didn't mean it that way. Besides which,
he's their creator, and he's got the right to do what he likes with
them... <Smacks head> So *that's* it! You're afraid he's going to give me
ideas!
Windir: While it may indeed be true that a creator "makes" characters, in
the trivial yet pedantic sense that the creator puts pen to paper (or
fingers to keyboard) to provide their expression... for all *true*
characters, in every real and meaningful sense, the creator is merely
providing the expression for a greater spirit. To capriciously tamper
with their destiny is surely the greater crime.
Frito: Yeah! You can't tell us what to do!
Windir: I might add the observation that paranoid rantings are not at all
becoming.
Oh, Ghu, what have I done?!?
Sir Musica: Your majesty! <pant> They're escaping <pant> as we speak!
King Rob: The queen and the prince? Impossible! She would never leave
Spamalot!
Sir Musica: It's true <pant> I saw with mine <pant> own eyes! They <pant>
are making their way to <pant> the stables at this very moment!
<pant> OXYGEN TANK SOMEBODY??? <clunk>
Frito: MEDIC!
Delivery man: Thata be $12.45...
Musica(handing over the cash): damn cod...
Windir: Things are getting expensive these days, are they not?
King Rob: Can it be true? My queen taking flight from our beloved Spamalot?
I must see for myself! GUARDS! (Guards enter) Take me to the royal stable at
once!
(Insert quick tower scene...)
King Rob(entering alone): It seems that the Queen is taking flight...
Man in Iron Mask: god save her...
King Rob(anger flahing in his eyes): Do I look like I care for what God
can do for her?! She won't be getting far... Don't worry...
I'll be kind to her... hehehehehe...
MiIM: flee, foxtrot... flee for all our sakes...
<Sigh> I never did like this part of the story... I always liked _The
Crystal Cave_ through _The Last Enchantment_ the best, didn't much care
for _The Wicked Day_.
Windir: Is this, perchance, yet another manifestation of your regrettable
tendency towards happy endings at all costs?
NANI?!?
Rob "Going to work now..." Orick
-----------------------
Musica(high pitched voice): you imbecile!!! this is helium!!!!!!!!!
Frito: Hey, I done that! Don't it make your throat feel all tickly?
Hehehe... <Sound of hissing in the background> Ain't <higher> it <higher>
grea...
Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
<http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)
..Hello. I'm afraid I'm not sapient right now. Please leave a message,
and I'll get back to you when I reach a higher evolutionary plane. Thank
you.