Hmm....Having never read the manga, I was lost for about the first 
half. You might consider a flashback style introduction in any later 
versions in order to tell the reader exactly whats happening. Of couse, 
maybe the confusion in part of the stories feel.
   Aside from that, I loved it. (After skipping to the end, I went back 
and read the thing from the beginning. Excellent description of the 
character's emotions, that kind of thing is something that many writers, 
myself included, have a hard time using effectively. The emotions, and 
the actions that were the result, were the most appealing part of the 
story to me.
   I was going to comment about the killing being out of character for 
Ranma, but people seem to have beaten me to the punch. Besides, after 
thinking about it, I realised that the Ranma in the story isn't the same 
one we know. Poor guy.

-Mike of No Particular Title or Handle

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