At 10:01 PM 29/3/96 -0700, Robma wrote:

(Zodiak pats the fake moustache in place, while Jody leaves the stage)

Zodiak: That was well done, my darling sister.
Jody(changing costumes from behind a screen): I thank thee. (Bow)
Allegra(fixing up Musica's white robes): Who writes these lines?  
	Shakespeare would be rolling over in his grave if he knew we 
	mangle these lines...
Musica: and panda's lines are very robust and dramatic...  ouch!
Allegra(pins in her mouth): sowwy!
Director: Okay, people!  Two more scenes and then a 30 minute >intermission

for scenery change...

Rob(wearing the royal cape close and the crown in his hand): are you sure 
	I can do this?
Virgo: Don't you worry, Rob-chan.  You'll do fine!  Just don't get nervous!  

	The Fanfic Players...

Act 2 Scene 1

Setting: The Guest House

Enter Stage Right: Rumiko and an unconcious Queen Furryous

Rumiko: Hah! The guest house. A splendid place to keep you out of trouble
your royal Vixeness. (Dumps the unconcious queen on the floor next to an
unmoving dark bulky object) I shall be back to finish you off once I've
found the traitorous Prince Panda! Sweet dreams my queen- Mwahahahaha!

(Sounds of a lock being worked outside the door)


An hour later . . .

Queen Furryous: (Wakes) Where am I? I seem to recall being kidnapped but-

Bulky Object: <groan!>

Queen Furryous: <gasp!> It appears I am not alone! (Her hands reach out
in the darkness and touch something furry) <GASP!> My knight! They've
kidnapped you as well! We are truly lost then! Awake my knight! Awake!

Prince Panda: Growf! (Oops! Sorry dear reader! Wrong play!)

Director: (To script prompter) Line! Line!

Script prompter: (To Panda) Traitorous dogs!

Prince Panda: (To Script prompter) Ah! Thank you (Under his breath)
Incompetent boob . . . Right! Where were we? (Looks over script) Ah, here it
is! Turns to face monitor) Traitorous dogs! I have been poisoned by an
assassins dart!

Queen Furryous: Assassins? In my court? Traitorous dogs!

Prince Panda: Hey! That's my line!

Director: Oh bloody hell . . .

Script Prompter: Foxtrot! It's "But how?"

Queen Furryous: Thank you! (Under her breath) Dumb script. Right,
anyway. . . But how?

Prince Panda: My queen!? You are here with me? Fortune smiles upon us!
Perhaps we have a chance of escape after all! It appears that your *king* is
more devious than the Emperor believed! He has attempted to kill me and no
doubt whoever kidnapped you will do the same unto you. There must have been
a spy in the garden when we met at the stroke of midnight. But no matter.
There are things of more import to attend to now. And my
companion Jody The Red has left me! Cursed tongue of mine! Why must . . .

Queen Furryous: Shhh! I hear someone coming! Hide!

Prince Panda: Right! When they enter I shall waylay them and we shall escape!

Queen Furryous: SHHHH!

(Outside the door, voices can indeed be heard, and footsteps accompany the
voices. The footsteps of Rumiko and Sir Virgo.

Sir Virgo: I am sorry Rumiko. The fool of a prince did not return to the
garden as we thought. Perhaps he does not care for the queen as much as we
thought. Perhaps he is only using the queen to further his own desire to
take over Spamalot? Hmm. Though I hate him with all my heart, I like the way
he thinks.

Rumiko: Quiet! The royal wench will be awake now and may lie in wait beyond
the door with a crudely fashioned weapon of some type. Stand beside the door
and stand ready. I shall open the door . . .

(Rumiko opens the door. Suddenly, a figure appears behind her and Sir Virgo.
The figure is dressed in a suit of red armour, and is brandishing a longsword)

Jody The Red: Aha! Two of the nefarious ZAV Knights! The Emperor will be
pleased with me.

(Jody lunges at Virgo with her longsword. Virgo parries the lunge easily and
the two move away from the guest house door to battle in a more open space.
Meanwhile Rumiko continues to open the door)

Rumiko: What's this? The wench has escaped? Impossi- <BAP!>
<thud>

Prince Panda: (Steps over the prone form of Rumiko) Well done my queen! I
had not thought thee to be so skilled in the art of combat.

Queen Furryous: (Smiles slyly and drops a rather large mallet) The queen is
not as she appears either.

(Sounds of combat reach their ears, and the two run outside to see Jody The
Red and Sir Virgo engaged in a highly animated sword fight (no pun
intended there . . . okay maybe <g>).

Prince Panda: Jody, you have returned! My debt of gratitude extends even
further it seems.

Jody The Red: (Breathing heavily and perspiring) Too true my prince! Now
take your queen to safety whilst I finish off this white-haired amateur. (To
Sir Virgo) Perhaps I could lend you my sword and then maybe you would be
able to strike me?

Sir Virgo: Grrrr! I'll have your tongue as my good luck charm before this
night has passed! Take that! <Klang! Kling! Schiring!>

Prince Panda: Come my queen. We must make haste! The dawn draws near and
your king has guards about the grounds looking for you now no doubt.
Bid thy land farwell, and take my hand in flight.

Queen Furryous: But my knight! I cannot leave! Spamalot will fall if I
should flee! The king needs me-

Prince Panda: I need you my queen. The people of my country need you to help
me protect our lands from tyrants like your king of Spamalot. For I am not
just a prince in title. The Emperor is my father and someday-

Sir Zodiak: AHA! Unhand the queen! Stand and fight knave!

Queen Furryous: <gasp!>

Prince Panda: <gasp!>

Sir Zodiak: <gasp!>

Sir Virgo and Jody The Red: <gasp!>

Director: Oxygen tank on the set! NOW!


CURTAIN! <squeek, squeek, squeek><clunk!>

Next scene: Act 2 Scene 2

Sir Zodiak and Prince Panda stand at odds, each having drawn their sword
and readied themselves for a battle to the death.

Queen Furryous: (To Prince Panda) Give me that! (Grabs the prince's sword
and then moves through a graceful and dizzying sequence of moves, the blade
swinging perilously close to her head and body. She then comes to a sudden
stop in front of a confused Sir Zodiak. The Queen smiles slyly as only the
queen can, and then suddenly thrusts the longsword through Sir Zodiak's
torso. Sir Zodiak grimaces and stands frozen for a moment, then falls to the
ground in a heap).

Sir Virgo, Jody The Red and an unconcious Rumiko: <GASP!>

Prince Panda: Woah. (Looks at Queen Furryous) Good one babe!

Queen Furryous: High five!

<slap!>

The Queen and the Prince smile and set off in a run for the stables.

Sir Virgo: That WENCH has killed Sir Zodiak!

Jody The Red: That wasn't in the script! Let's get them!

Sir Virgo: I'm with you!

Sir Virgo and Jody The Red run after the fleeing Queen Furryous and Prince
Panda.

Sir Zodiak: (Gets up and dusts himself off) (To Director) Hey Phil? What the
hell was that all about?

Phil the Director: Sorry big guy. The budget ran out and we had to alter the
script. We blew too much cake on the sets I guess.

Sir Zodiak: THE SETS?? There are no sets you incompetent boob! There's
just a white backdrop!

Phil the Director: Oh bloody hell, alright. Okay! NEXT SCENE PLEASE! LET"S
GO PEOPLE, PLACES! PLACES! <clap, clap>

Next Scene: Act 2 Scene 3

Setting: The Guest House

Sir Musica: (Crouching in a nearby bush) Ah! The fools think they can escape
by horseback do they? Let's see what the king has to say about this! (She sets
off for the castle proper).


Ten minutes later . . .

Sir Musica: Your majesty! <pant> They're escaping <pant> as we speak!

King Rob: The queen and the prince? Impossible! She would never leave Spamalot!

Sir Musica: It's true <pant> I saw with mine <pant> own eyes! They <pant>
are making their way to <pant> the stables at this very moment!
<pant> OXYGEN TANK SOMEBODY??? <clunk>

King Rob: Can it be true? My queen taking flight from our beloved Spamalot?
I must see for myself! GUARDS! (Guards enter) Take me to the royal stable at
once!

INTERMISSION

And now for something completely different . . .

Weird Man with extremely long arms: Where isssss . . . the fisssssh?

INTERMISSION OVER

Next scene: Act 3 Scene 1 - The Stables



Panda (Save a tree! Don't print this spamfic out!)

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