On Sat, 30 Mar 1996 16:19:51 -0500 Peter L. WardTRAI said:

At 09:44 AM 3/30/96 +0000, you wrote:

        Back in the Royal Castle, The Annoyimg Court Jester is fiddling
  with the loudspeaker...
        "Wake up, everyone!" His singsong voice can be heard through out
  the place. Members of the sleeping court run out from their quarters
  with all sorts of weapons and are ready to kill whoever it is that
  disturb their peaceful night.
        "Grr... it's you again!" One of the Lady in waiting says as they
  see Spira is playing a lute in front of the Royal loudspeaker. "What
  is it this time?"  They all groan as the court jester sings on. "And
  would you stop singing? It sounds like a cat scratching on a glass
  with crow screaming at the background... aarrgghh..."
        One of the nobleman hits Spira squarely on the head. "Oouch!"
  The court jester falls over and lands on the crowd. "Hey, I'm just
  trying to alert everyone that our beloved Queen has run away with
  Prince Pants-a-lo... I mean Prince Panda." Spira lays on the ground
  rubbing his injured head.
        "What?!" "Can be..." "That traitorous Prince has kidnapped
  our Queen!" "We must tell the King!" "Go save the Queen!" The court
  is in a chaotic mood, everyone is shouting hysterically, then they
  run off in all direction... to do whatever they are going to do...
        Meanwhile, Spira is still lying on the floor, a half smile
  hanging on the corner of his mouth. "Well, well... things are getting
  more and more interesting now..."

As bad as the court jester's singing was, it was nothing compared to what hit
them next, as this was the moment that Mackie, back where Captain Ward of the
rogue airship Kamome was attempting an airlift, first put pick to guitar
strings.

Indeed, the sound that resulted could never be remotely classified as good
guitar playing since it had the sound of nails dragged on a chalkboard, mixed
with really bad caterwauling, as well as the sound of a modem attempting a
connection, all multiplied a hundredfold.  This was before the massive
amplification the speakerpods on his shoulders provided.

Those who were pursuing the Queen and the Prince were knocked to the ground as
the shockwave hit them.  They remained there in agony as the horrific sound
continued around them while Mackie played his guitar, blissfully unaware of
just how bad his skills were.

For a mile around, windows shattered, animals stampeded in pain, and walls
shook, particularly if they were in direct line of Mackie's speaker pods.
Depending on how close they were to ground zero, people writhed in horror to
various degrees.

Meanwhile, on the Kamome, the Queen and Prince Panda were being helped off of
the rope ladder by a girl with small black horns and pink wavy hair.
"Greetings your Majesty and Highness." she said.  "I'm Amano Buffy, one of the
officers who remained loyal to Captain Ward when he split off from the Royal
Air Guard after 'King' Robma took over."  Indicating two other females by her,
she continued, "This is Ishikawa Mariko," waving to a rather tall, athletic
Japanese girl, "and Suzie Cabbit." pointing to a short feline girl with a white
mohawk-like mane.  "We'll be your personal bodyguard during your journey.  I
believe the good captain would like to speak with you now."

After making their way along a gangplank, the royal pair were shown into the
cockpit of the Kamome, where Captain Ward was giving the orders to lift away

>from the scene.  "Tategawa, bring us up an additional 1000 feet.  Hegaba, hit

Mackie's auto-cutoff switch and order him to keep up with us.  I believe we
might need some air cover as we make our escape."

Turning to the Queen and the Prince, he introduced himself.  "I'm Captain Peter
L. Ward, formerly of the Royal Air Guard, your majesty.  Perhaps you might
remember an incident where some officers went rogue and made off with an
experimental airship?  That's us, I'm afraid.  When I received the news that
Robma was ascending to the throne, I had my suspicions.  As a result, my loyal
officers and crew followed me in 'borrowing' this airship and decided to watch
things from a distance, knowing that we may be needed by those who are on the
side of freedom and justice.  Now, is there anywhere you'd like us to take
you?"

A dark figure clings to the bottom of the airship, his pointed ears still
ringing from that hideous noise.  He deftly leaps down from the airship and
seeks cover, his blowgun at the ready.  "Hmmm...somehow he survived his
poison...but after this one he'll wish he were dead."  Opening a small case
marked "Jusenkyo", he takes out a dart and carefully places it in the gun.
He blows...and hits the panda.   He watches as the panda's features start
to shift...into that of a panda.  "Damn!" he hisses, barely containing his
frustration.  He pulls out the case again...and accidently pricks himself on
one.  He starts to convulse as the change comes...

A few minutes later:

"Oooohhh....you're going to pay for that, Panda!"  the assassin says, the
voice a few octaves higher than before.  Taking the dart that had pricked
her, she aims and hits the panda.  Not bothering to stay around for the
results, she steals the flyer and heads off to China for a cure.

Nightelf
Personal assassin to HRH King Orick