Subject: Re: The Sting -- On the ML w/Windir & Frito
From: "Ranma al'Thor <ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>" <ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>
Date: 3/29/1996, 8:34 PM
To: Travis Butler
CC: fanfic@tendo-dojo.ranma.net

On Wed, 27 Mar 1996, Travis Butler wrote:


  Two voices in a dimly lit room.  Both female.  One is high pitched, 
cultured, and ever so slighty maniacal.  The other is calm and business 
like.  "What do you mean you have him wrapped around your finger?  He's 
my fiancee, not yours!"

Frito: Well, I gotta say, I was confused by this bit --

Windir: That's hardly surprising.

Frito: -- which I guess the writer wanted. I liked the talkin' and the 
voices, but I ain't sure the "fiancee" bit works when ya get to the end 
of the story. Does that crazy broad *really* ever call him her "fiancee"? 
I ain't never seen it, but I only got the Viz stuff, through the cookie 
story.

Good question.  I think she overstated her case here...
 
 > >   The reply comes calmly from a voice that is always calm.  Always 
rational. > 

Windir: I like this as well, but it repeats what the author said in the 
first paragraph. I suspect it would work with better felicity if you 
simply excise this from the first paragraph, and go from the slightly 
maniacal voice to her actual words. 

Nod.
 
"I can make him do anything.  Anything at all.  He's my little 
puppet.  My toy.  My cash cow.  I don't need to be engaged to him.  Money 
and fear run thicker than love, anyway.  You can bet on that."

Frito: It ain't hard to tell who *this* is! Though it don't feel right 
for her ta be talkin' about fear -- I ain't never seen her tryin' to 
blackmail nobody. That's a real shame, I picked up some good pointers --

Eh?  Nabiki does lots of blackmail.  Trust me on this one :)
 

    "I accept.  Your foolish boasts are as empty as your love life."

Frito: WheeeYOW! Body-SLAM! Nasty! <Grins, turns, and tries to give 
Windir a high-five. Windir stares him down coldly.>

Windir: An effective insult, yes. I do wonder just how she comes to know 
this much about our friend's romantic interests, especially since she 
goes to a separate girls' school.

She's been around Nabiki enough to get a fair impression of 
her...Besides, she could just ask her brother :)
 
Frito: Yeah, so why *ain't* she goin' to the same school? Her brother 
Windir: Ah, much better. Thank you.

    "What was the bet?"  Akane asked.  I wonder if he'll ever have the 
sense to stop falling into Nabiki's snares.  She's probably lurking 
somewhere getting ready to take photos of him.  A bush rustled.  Akane 
contemplated tossing a rock into it, then decided not to.  Nabiki wasn't 
used to physical punishment the way everyone else was.  This would 
require subtlety.

Frito: Hey! That ain't Akane! She don't think that much!

Like everyone else in Ranma 1/2, she's allowed to have clever plans.  
They just usually don't work too well :)
 

    "Wha...what feels so good?"  Ranma-chan began wondering if the Akane 
he knew had been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a body double.  
She looked Akane up and down.  

Windir: A minor note: The gender pronouns for Ranma become mixed up in 
this section...

Aargh.
 

    "I was not!"  Akane smiled as she heard more clicks from the bush.  
Her hand quietly snaked over to the hose as Ranma-chan tentatively began 
to do her back again.  Before she was quite ready, Ranma-chan was done.  
She would need another distraction.  Hmm.

Frito: Sorry, but this just don't click with me. It don't take *that* 
long to grab a hose!

The idea is to get it without alerting Nabiki she's trying to grab it, so 
she can then catch Nabiki by surprise.
 
Frito: <Rubbing his head> Hey! I was just tryin' ta say that this don't 
make sense! How did that "ruin the point of this exercise," if the camera 
was waterproof? If she was tryin' ta make blackmail photos, they ain't 
hurt!

She wasn't able to finish the entire roll :)
 
serve."  Cologne smiled behind the cash register.  With Shampoo sick, 
having Ranma pitching in was quite helpful.  She owed Nabiki a few free 
meals now, but Ranma's girl form always pleased the customers, and happy 
customers ate more.  

Windir: This seems a bit... casual... for Cologne. She usually has a 
scheme, or at least an ulterior motive, and I'm a bit surprised to see 
her enter this sort of bargain without something up her sleeve.


Shampoo is sick, and  this is cheaper than hiring help or doing it 
herself :)  Also, Ranma does bring in more customers...Even Cologne 
doesn't plot 24 hours a day :)

   "ACK!"  He started to run, then fell down, unable to move.

    "This will be a lovely date!"

Frito: <Cackling and rubbing his hands> You said it, toots! I can't wait!

Windir: You'd think Ranma would be a bit more suspicious of her by this 
point; this might work a little better if he showed some reluctance, and 
she forced him to smell it.

Heh...And they should see through the silly disguises they all use, 
etc...Is genre.


Windir: This is the only one of the "arrangements" I had difficulty 
believing; though she certainly cares about Ryouga, I find it rather 
unusual that she would actually go out on a date with him.

She's done it before.  And in this case, Nabiki set it up :)



    Soon the door opened again.  It was Nabiki with a half empty plate 
of cookies and some glasses of tea.  "Kasumi gave me this to give you.  
She thought it might make you feel better."

Frito: <Softly> My, aren't we domestic here?

Heh :)
 
-------------------------------------------

(1) As I stated above, Frito, this scene works when played merely as 
simple kindness -- Nabiki shows in the last section that she does have a 
heart and cares about people, that she can do nice things, and this works 
quite well on that level. But it works equally well on another level. 
Assuming I'm reading the implications in the last section correctly, 
Nabiki is showing him something of what she can offer him as a "partner" 
-- she has the clout and the ability to keep the rest of the horde out of 
his hair for a while, and provide a nice, quiet time for just the two of 
them.


Yes.  Bingo.
 

John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu   http://falcon.cc.ukans.edu/~ranma/falcon.html 
                            http://www.dhp.com/~wraven/john/index.html
"He's a try hard homie... those idiots who hang around wearing baggy pants 
and have hats on the top of their heads (not *on* their heads) who just 
go 'Yo, man' all the time, hanging around in groups. Bleh."--Caroline 
Seawright, speaking of an obnoxious person.