Subject: "Something Otaku This Way Comes" Prologue and Part 1
From: "James Stubbs" <STUBBS@scifaculty.coker.edu>
Date: 3/24/1996, 9:01 PM
To: fanfic@tendo-dojo.ranma.net
Reply-to:
stubbs@scifaculty.coker.edu

Hello all -

Here is the prologue and first part to my very first fanfic. This 
story (as well as it's sequel) is finished. It was originally written 
for the Fidonet Anime Echo so, unless you frequent fidonet like I do, 
you're not going to recognize some of the people involved.... or me.

Please let me know what you think of it and if you'd like to see the 
rest of it.


                "Something Otaku This Way Comes"
                               or
      The First Annual FidoNet Anime Echo Dirty Pair Party

                         by James Stubbs 
                       FidoNet: 1:3651/12
              Internet: stubbs@scifaculty.coker.edu


        Before you begin this story which accounts for the last
three months of my life, I feel it only fair to warn you that this
is my first fanfic - and that I do not consider myself a writer at
all - so be gentle :). This story does contain several instances of
sexual innuendo - so if you're offended by such material - get a 
life. All characters involved in this story are purely the sole
property of their respective creators - anyone else is fair game :)

I would appreciate feedback to this story. The more specific the 
better. If you're going to send me a letter with "it sucked" on it -
at least do me the favor of telling me HOW or WHY it sucked. Flames
will be tossed into electronic oblivion ... so without further ado...


PROLOGUE

    The smell of the coffee coming from the kitchen jolted me
awake (albeit grudgingly). Last night had been pure hell with
both girls in the bed. Ryoko and Mirai had argued over who was
hogging the covers until at least three am and the only thing
that had shut them up was for me to leave the nice warm comfort
between the two and trudge barefoot through the cold house to the
hall closet and rummage for more linen. This, at least, calmed
them down long enough for me to grab a few hours of sleep. 

    As I slowly forced my eyes to open, I noticed that Mirai had
already left the bed - which would explain the coffee - Ryoko
avoided the kitchen like the plague. I rolled over and collided
with the lump of covers that would be Ryoko. Sure enough, the
mass of green hair sticking out of the lump confirmed that. I
gave the mass of covers a good nudge to wake her up and got a
sleepy half-mumble half-snarl in return and she promptly rolled
around some more to gather up more of the cover around herself.
"You'd think that sleeping for 500 years would be enough for
anyone", I thought ruefully as I slowly made my way out of bed as
not to disturb Ryoko any more. I really didn't want to get the
stuffing beat out of me this early in the morning.  

    "Good Morning!", Mirai chimed in cheerfully as I staggered
into the kitchen. "Morning, anyway", I mumbled back. Right now, I
needed that coffee and lurched toward the counter. Just to show
Mirai that I wasn't a total grouch that morning, I stumbled
toward her with the best glassy eyed expression I could do and
droned, "brrraaaaaaiiiinnnssss....brrraaaiinnnss!".  As I got up
close to her, I snatched the mug off the counter and gave her a
wide smile. "Good Morning yourself", I beamed. This got a nice
smile back and she poured me a nice hot mug of coffee as I sat
down at the table and started to read the paper. 

    About ten minutes later, I distinctly heard a door slam
upstairs. "Sounds like Ryoko is up now", I commented aloud, but
to nobody in particular. "She's sure to be in a snit after last
night so you'd better not do anything to tee her off", Mirai
broke in. "Tell me about it", I replied, "I tried to wake her up
this morning and she snarled at me". I had pretty much seen
all I wanted to see of the paper and got up to leave the kitchen.
"She snarled at you?", Mirai asked incrediously, "she never
snarls!" I patted her affectionately on the head on the way out.
"Mirai, don't change - naivete is your strong suit". Mirai was
still pondering that one when I went back upstairs.

     Ryoko was still in the shower when I made it up the bedroom.
I quickly tossed on some clothes and pulled on my boots and even
managed to down the last of the coffee by the time she came out
of the shower. Ryoko came out of the bathroom wet and in a towel.
"Morning, sweet thing", I shot at her with an innocent look. She
shot me daggers in return and with a "humpf" grabbed some clothes
out of the closet and retreated back to the bathroom. By this 
time, I had taken the message that my marvelous personality was
not welcome so I wandered back down to the kitchen.

    "So, what's on the agenda for today, Mirai? A picnic? A
movie? A night on the town? Or maybe some good old fashioned
lo...."

"Cooking", she cut me off, "Remember, that invitation I made to
Kei and Yuri? Well, today's the day".

(DUH DUM DUHHHHHHHHHH....!!!!) (realization sets in)

"Oh, *&#@!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Part One: The Calm Before the Storm

    "There's no use screaming and running around in circles you
know", Ryoko calmly noted. "That's because you're just as
violently psychotic as they are!", I shot back. I had just
managed to put the rebar on the windows and check the automated
blast doors when I remembered that I had left almost all of the
weapons lockers open from when I had been cleaning them last
week. As I ran down the hall for the armory, Ryoko cast her
parting shot of, "You never complained about it before!" I let
that one go - I would come up with something especially dirty to
say later, but all I could think about at the moment was Kei or
Yuri getting into my weapons cache and *that* was frightening
enough. Tony had *assured* me that everything would be hunky-
dorey, but, let's face it, the Dirty Pa...uh, Lovely Angels were
an accident ready to happen.

    I vaulted all the empty ammo cases stacked around the inside
of the doorway prepared to frantically cram the stuff back into
the lockers and skidded to a halt as I suddenly realized that the
place was already clean. Another quick double-take revealed Mirai
standing in the middle of the room with a mop and a bucket. "You
didn't expect me to leave this room in such a mess when we were
expecting company did you?", she said. I have to honestly admit
that I debased myself at that moment. I fell to my knees and 
prostrated myself before her and promised her ANYTHING inbetween
profuse "thank you"s.  "Anything?", she said. "Yes!  Anything
your loving heart desires!", I returned (little did I know what I
had just put myself into).

"Fine, now get up - you're ruining the knees of your pants."

    I wandered back towards the living room while I pondered the
precautions I had taken. Security cameras? Check.
Anti-dimensional intrusion fields? Check. Put protective
coverings on the furniture in case the Puma Sisters become
over-affectionate? Check. I'm pretty sure Hyperchaz would keep
them on their best behavior, but you can never be too careful.
Bumas are unpredictable to say the least. Take David Wills for
example. I was still thinking that one over. How do you protect
the female guests from such a rampaging H machine? Still, David
had claimed that he was going to be on his "best behavior" (I
wasn't sure whether to be frightened or relieved).  Oh well, I
guess I would have to take his word at face value and hope the
Gauss Cannons could take him out if need be. Sighing to myself
and wondering how I had got talked into this mess to begin with,
I punched the button for the house's three hot tubs on the master
control panel. As the tubs began to heat up, I noticed Mirai come
out of the bathroom in a towel and head for the bedroom
presumably to change into evening wear. BINGO! Now I remembered
how I got talked into these things - I turn into mindless jello
when either of the girls want to do something. It doesn't help
that they like to go out and buy those oh-so-expensive, but
oh-so-alluring evening gowns. I dropped some CDs into the stereo
carousel and went into the kitchen to finish the final
preparations on the food.

    Mentally checking my mental checklist (redundant see
redundant), I came up almost done. The only thing not accounted
for was security. The GENOM doberman bumas had arrived the day
before and were lined up on the front lawn for activation.
Hefting the giant sized owner's manual, I cracked the cover and
began to read ... "Thank you for your purchase of GENOM model
K9ADB doberman buma. This buma has been crafted with the finest
Swiss craftsmanship to ensure..." Blah. Blah. Blah. "Manuals ..
Schmanuals...I don't need no stinkin' manuals".
Ennnnieee...minnniieeee...minie...MOE! (randomly pressing a
button). The bumas eyes flashed red for a moment and then they
rushed off to strategic parts of the yard and assumed a
standby posture. "HAH!, told ya I didn't need a manual!", I
proclaimed to Mirai and Ryoko who were looking from the window.
"Now to get the servants ready", I proclaimed as I entered the
house and made for the den. The den contained my crowning glory
in manufacturing - 10 URIs (Universal Robotic Intelligence). By
strange coincidence, they all looked like Yuri and were
stunningly attired in a red tuxedo outfit. I checked all of their
concealed pop-up forearm machineguns and ensured that each was
carrying a full load of 5.56 mm caseless.

    "Well ladies, I do believe that we're ready come hell or high
water", I commented as the URIs scattered to various parts of the
house to fulfill their individual purposes - "Everyone lock and
load". Mirai, as usual, refused to carry any weapons so I gave
her the mol-unit under her most strict promise to use it only in
the most dire emergency. Ryoko, on the other hand, loaded for
bear. "Very nice", I commented, "The .50 Desert Eagle compliments
your eyes." "Flattery will get you everywhere", she purred back
as I strapped on the M1911A1 and made sure the safety was set on
the M231. 

    Any repartee I may have made was drowned out by the raw sound
of jet turbines making a low, subsonic fly-by. "That's either
Babcock's F-18s again or our guests of honor are arriving," I
noted. "C'mon ladies, let's go greet our guests."

(to be continued)

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