This is a silly little piece of garbage a friend of mine wrote ... 
and refused to release... so I'm doing it anyway :)

comments to the author can be sent to hambyr@science.coker.edu
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The screen fades in to a man in a black, breasted business suit.  He 
looks at the screen and talks a little like the man from the Twilight 
Zone introductions, always pausing for dramatic effects and keeping 
his arms crossed in front of him.

"Hello, out there.  I think its time you met someone."

The screen view widens to show a white room behind him with a wall 
and three doors.  He opens the first.

"This is your brain."

The camera pans into the opening to show a twenty-something man, over 
weight with rice cakes and jolts sitting around the couch along with 
enough old comics to be a fire hazard.

"This man is a pathetic creature, seeking an escape from reality.  
Unable to find it in old - tired ideas of alcoholic superheroes.  But 
. . ."

He walks to the second door and pauses with his hand on it.

"one day he finds a door.  A door to the Otaku Zone, to a realm of 
Shirow and Takahashi instead of Einstein and Newton."

Now he opens it and we see inside - it has the same man but now he's 
about thirty pounds lighter, the couch is a new Gundam - Super 
Relaxer model, his clothes are clean, his hair straight and instead 
of american comics he has manga catalogued and set up on a shelf 
beside texts on philosophy in original greek and quantum physics.  
Belldandy is giving him a shoulder rub, he's eating a fresh Sakura 
Mochi baked by Kasumi, Skuld is making a modification to the couch's 
control panel, and both the Gunsmith Cats are wearing less than 
normal and eyeing him sheepishly from another doorway.  Suddenly the 
view cuts back to the dark suited man.

"This [pause for effect] is your brain on anime."

He closes the door.  Slowly he walks to the third.  

"Of course not all life is fun in the Otaku Zone.  The late night 
parties with Ataru get out of hand and Lum gets mad at you and him 
both.  Happosai gets angry when you steal Akane's panties before he 
does.  No, life in the Otaku Zone has its dangers [pause for effect] 
as demonstrated by this horror . . ."

He has reached the third door and opens it.  It is the man again, 
this time in a straight jacket that says "Property of Arkaham 
Asylum", he has torn most of his hair out and his pupils are 
permanently dilated, mucous is running down his chest and his voice 
is lost from constant screaming.  We pan back to the narrator.  

[very solemnly]  "This is your brain on Viz."

Pan back to show him standing in the center of the room again, this 
time with huge locks and "BEWARE" signs over the third door.

"That man was just another Otaku.  He found a little escape from this 
world in the worlds of animation and gaiety.  Then he went to the 
store one day and bought a copy of Ranma 1/2, little knowing what he 
was doing to himself."

We do a long pull in to just his face.

"Remember - Friends don't let Friend buy Viz Dubbs."

Fade out.

[Text on Screen] Brought to you by the Otaking for President in '96 
Society : String To Make This World A More Takahashi Place For All.