Subject: Schlock Treatment (preview)
From: "Erin Mills version 2.0" <MILL0622@Badger.Snow.edu>
Date: 3/14/1996, 10:46 PM
To: fanfic@tendo-dojo.ranma.net

Roller Caption and voice over: This Spring, Twentieth Century 
Schlocks, "Not-Bloody-Likey" Productions, and the creator of "The 
Great Anime Crossover From Hell!!!" are proud to present the most 
demented fanfic ever to hit the Internet...

(Cut to a shot of Ranma and Akane on a game show type set with 
Mousse, dressed in an orange tux, acting as host)

Voice over: When Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo appear on the TV game 
show "Dating Disaster", they begin one of the strangest adventures of 
their lives..."

Mousse: Help?! Let's face it, Akane. (pours cold water on Ranma) 
Ranma's an aquatranssexual!

Ranma-chan: AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!

======================================================================
                            RANMA 1/2:
                        SCHLOCK TREATMENT
======================================================================

Voice over: The first Ranma 1/2 musical fanfic! 

(cut to shot of Ranma, in a straightjacket, sitting in a wheelchair 
with Mikado and Azusa standing behind him in medical uniforms. Azusa 
is glomping onto the wheelchair, while Mikado tries to pull her off.)

Mikado: Let go, you stupid...

Azusa: Loretta!

(cut to shot of Akane crying while Kuno and Kodachi, dressed in green 
surgical outfits, try to comfort her. Kuno is wearing some truly 
ridiculous coke bottle bottom glasses, that maginify his eyes to huge 
proportion.)

Kuno: There, there.

Kodachi: Ranma's an aquatranssexual, remember?   

(Cut to Ranma in a birdcage type setup, still in straightjacket and 
wheelchair, while outside the cage, Kuno, Kodachi, Mousse, Mikado, 
Azusa, Soun and Akane (in a really kick ass black dress) dance and 
sing to...)

Kuno: It's just another...

All: ooh...Schlock Treatment!

Kuno: Another demented fanfic.
    Ya need a bit of...

All: ooh...Schlock Treatment!                       

Kuno: It's not quite "Ranma"
      or by Takahashi-sama
      but by some loon in
      Ameri-ca-aa...aa..aa.aa!

(music continues during...)

Caption: SEE the "Ranma 1/2" cast matched up as never before!

(insert shots of Ryoga with Shampoo, Ukyou with Dr. Tofu, and other 
odd pairings like that)

Caption: SEE Akane get her big break on Nerima TV!!!

(Show Akane singing on a breakfast show type set, while Ryoga and 
Shampoo look on.)

Caption: HEAR the amazing sounds of Kirin and the Seven Lucky Gods 
Rock Musicians!!!

(Cut to shot of Kirin and the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists in a 
rock group type shot. None of them look happy.)

Kirin: Kirin can not believe he was talked into this...

Caption: CAN Ranma and Akane save themselves from the clutches of...

(cut to shot of someone who looks an awful lot like Ranma only with 
his hair slicked back, no ponytail, and dressed in a white suit.)

Caption: Renaldo Satori?

======================================================================

                     20th Century Schlocks Presents                 

                             RANMA 1/2:
                         SCHLOCK TREATMENT

          Starring: 
                    Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo,  Ryoga Hibiki
                     Mousse, Shampoo, Ukyou Kuonji, Tatewaki
                      Kuno, Kodachi Kuno, Dr. Tofu, Soun
                       Tendo, and a whole bunch more 
                            "Ranma 1/2" characters


                 Written by: Erin Mills
                 Based on a film by: Richard O'Brien and Jim Sharman 
                 And a manga by: Rumiko Takahashi
                 Produced by: "Not-Bloody-Likely' Productions
                 Music by: Richard O'Brien
                 Lyrics by: Erin Mills
                 Directed by: Zy Q. Llama XVIII
        
        
        
                    COMING SOON TO A FANFIC ML NEAR YOU!!!!
======================================================================

Author's notes: Now for the bad news, this is an ACTUAL PREVIEW to an 
ACTUAL FANFIC that I'll be working on over Spring Break. And Yes, I 
WILL be posting it!
    If this turkey actually works out, then I may start working on 
the first film in the series "The Ranma Horror Picture Show!"

                        YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
                        
                                            ---Erin 2.0