ROLLING CAPTION and voice-over: This Spring, 2Oth Century Schlocks, 
in conjunction with "Not-Bloody-Likely" Productions, and the director 
of "The Great Anime Crossover From Hell!!!" are pleased to bring you 
a fanfic of demented proportions....

(clip of lightning bolt)
(We see Ranma and Akane on a game show with Mousse acting as host)

voice-over: When Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo get on the popular 
game show "Dating Disaster," neither of them expected the adventure 
that was to follow... (Mousse pours water on Ranma, instant girl on 
live TV!!!) 
(Cut to shot of Ranma, sitting in a wheelchair, slapped into a 
straight jacket. Mikando and Azusa are standing behind him. Mikado 
trying to unglomp Azusa from the wheelchair)
Mikado: Let go, you stupid...!
Azusa: Loretta! (the wheelchair)
(Cut to Akane looking over some papers with Kuno and Kodachi in green 
medical outfits looking over her shoulders. Kuno is wearing some 
truly ridiculous coke-bottle glasses)

Voice-over: It had to be....

======================================================================
                            RANMA 1/2:
                        SCHLOCK TREATMENT 
======================================================================

Voice-over: The first Ranma 1/2 Musical fanfic

(Cut to shot of Ranma, still in straight jacket and wheelchair being 
danced around by Kuno, Kodachi, Soun, Azusa, Mikado, Mousse, and 
Akane (in a kick ass black dress).

Kuno: It's just another...

all: ooh...Schlock Treatment

Kuno: Another demented fanfic.
      Ya need a little...
      
all: ooh...Schlock Treatment

Kuno: It's not quite "Ranma"
      Not by Takahashi-sama
      but by some loon from
      America...ica...ica...ica!

(Cut to Shot of Kirin and the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists in a 
rock group type pose)

Caption: HEAR Kirin and the Seven Lucky Gods wow you with their sound.

Kirin: Kirin can not believe he was talked into this...

(Cut to Akane singing on a moring breakfast show type program, while 
Ryoga and Shampoo look on.)

Caption: SEE Akane get her big break on Nerima TV!!!

(Cut to Ranma sitting in his wheelchair)

Caption: SEE Ranma keep his mouth shut for almost 70% of the fanfic!!!

(Cut to Ukyou and Dr. Tofu looking down on the whole singing mess 
stated above)

Caption: CAN Ukyou and Dr. Tofu save Ranma and Akane from the 
clutches of...

(Cut to someone who looks like Ranma only with slicked back hair, no 
pigtail, and dressed in white suit)

Caption: Renaldo Satori?
======================================================================
                        RANMA 1/2
                     SCHLOCK TREATMENT

                A 20th Century Schlocks Film
                
         Starring Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo, Ryoga Hibiki
            Mousse, Shampoo, Ukyou Kuonji, Dr. Tofu, 
              Tatewaki Kuno, Kodachi Kuno, Nabiki 
               Tendo, and a whole bunch of other 
                    "Ranma 1/2" characters.
                    
             Written by: Erin Mills       
             based on a film by Richard O'Brien and Jim Sharman
             and a comic series by Rumiko Takahashi
             Produced by: "Not-Bloody-Likely" Productions
             Music by: Richard O'Brien
             Lyrics by: Erin Mills
             Directed by: Zal Q. Llama IX
             Dancing Mice by: Bob's House O' Rodents
======================================================================

    Author's Notes: Now, for the bad news. This is actually going to 
be written!!! I'm going to work on it over Spring Break and post it 
shortly afterwards! If this turkey actually gets done, then maybe 
I'll turn my attention to doing the first film, "The Ranma Horror 
Picture Show!" ^-^