[Scene: Chibi, er, "Rene" is sprawled out in front of the TV
drinking a can of Baka Pepper (oh, would you prefer it be Calpis
Water or Pocky Juice <G>?). The TV is oriented so we can't see
what's on it (ie, back to the camera). However, we can hear it.
Voice one: But Fred's dead! That's sick!
Voice two: I didn't hear him complain. [Rene giggles]
Voice one: So? How was he?
Voice two: Oh, same as alwa- [The door starts to open, and Rene
lunges for the TV. In 2 seconds she has a tape in her hand, and
is shoving it under the couch. Those otaku who go over shows
like the Zepruter film sees "1/3" on the label]
Rene: Whew! So, guys... four o'clock already! Where does the time
go? Heh, heh, heh... I've been good all afternoon! In fact, I
even packed your bags, Mr. Da- [stops as she realizes the other
family members might be around] I mean, Serina! I've also.... uh,
convinced you parents to let us
go.
[Switch scene to small envelope on Rene's bag. Peeking out of it is
a black and white picture of
armed soldiers hanging 4 people with bags over their heads from
makeshift gallows. Kick in the
Nowhere Man theme, just to make it obvious. Switch back]
Rene: Are we all ready to go to Rei's temple?
Data: I still believe that finding the other scouts is of higher
priority. After all, we do not know who on the ship they are...
not everyone on the USS Enterprise had very high morals. They
might become a problem.
Picard: Yes, they might. But wouldn't it be better to have a
place to base operations out of? This place wouldn't do, remember?
Data: Yes, I realize that. It is still not to my liking to have
so many variables...
Worf: Well, then. Why not take care of one right now? We are all
neglecting Q; after all, this is his first experience being
mortal and having no control or contact whatsoever to his
superiors or powers. We may need to call him and see if he's
handling this alright-
Deanna: That is so sensitive of you!
Worf: and if he is not then we must kill him, as that is a sign
of weakness!
Deanna: What was *I* thinking? And if he isn't?
Riker: Can we kill him anyway?
Deanna: Worf, would you consider putting a little more spin on
the Commander the next time you throw him?
Picard: It seems that.... hey, where's Geordie?
[Geordie's voice emanates from the kitchen]
Geordie: I'm in here. While you guys were arguing, I called up Q
at his pad and gave him our new address... he's still on, want to
speak to him?
[All mouth "NO!!!!!!" and make hand gestures. Geordie gets a
wicked look in his eye]
Geordie: Hey Data, don't rush for the phone! Here it is! [tosses
phone at Data] [whisper] That's for that damn "Mister Tricorder"
crap.
[Data takes the phone, making insulting gestures at Geordie. Deanna
covers Rene's eyes. Worf covers Picard's.]
Data: Moshi Mosh-, er, hello!
*****************************************************************
[Darian's pad. It looks almost as messy as Serina's room, just over a
larger area.
Q is on the phone with Data.]
Q: And I STILL can't get over these Earth customs! Washing your
dishes BEFORE putting them in the dish washing device... er, what
is it called again?
Data [over phone]: A dishwasher?
Q: Yes, that's it! Also, wicker chairs with steam engines for
transportation? Absurd.
Data: Wait a minute. Come again?
Q: It is a chair that is moved by steam power. My roomie or
neighbor or whatever has one.
Data: That is not typical. Who is he or she?
Q: Richard Dean Anderson. Oh, I'm going to look around a bit to
learn more about myself... I'll meet you at that worship
building-
Data: Temple.
Q: -right. I'll meet you there at 8:00, ok? Bye!
Data: Wait, I need- [click]
[Q hung up the phone and started to look around the apartment.
He decided to raid the fridge to stave off his new feeling:
hunger. The apartment was a mess everywhere, with a few nudie
rags and the Sears Home Catalogue opened to the "Little Miss"
section. By the VCR was a stack of tapes labeled "Ms Teen USA 2-
4", "Magical Knights Rayearth: Swimsuit Edition", "Homeroom
Affairs", and "Ranma � the Movie 2". He just happened to have a
Sega Saturn, with Pretty Fighter S in the machine.]
Q: Hmmmmmmm.... must be a bachelor. But what's to eat?
[He kicks aside a pile of clothes and finds a refrigerator, a
counter, and the Rose Lawfirm Billing Records. He opens it and
looks inside.]
Q: What!? No food?! [we see inside the fridge. It has a single
cheeto and about 6 cases of Miller Light]. Oh.... I must be in
college. Well, I suppose that I'd better learn more about my
host... heh, heh, heh! [grabs a beer and runs to the VCR. Fade
out]
*****************************************************************
[Fade in. The dark kingdom. Wesley is at his throne, tapping his
fingers. Joe and the other youma are with him.]
Wesley: 'Bout damn time! I thought we'd NEVER be in this
episode! Now, Joe Boo... say, is that a joke?
Joe Boo: No, Stupid, it's the money!*
Wesley: I think that is going to have to be referenced.
Now, why have you requested an audience with me? [Wesley looks
mysterious as he waves his hands over the crystal ball].
Joe Boo: Well, I have a plan concerning... sir, what IS in that
damn ball?
Wesley: I think it's supposed to tell the future, but right now
it's getting Playboy. I'm working on reception [waves hands a bit
more]...
Joe Boo: Can I see that after you?
Wesley: No!
Joe Boo: I promise I'll wash it afterwards! [Wesley shudders]
Wesley: NO, DAMMIT!!!!! NOW WHAT IS IT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!?
Joe: Um... we believe that there are at least 3 Sailor Scouts
unaccounted for.
Wesley: Yeeeeeeeeesssssssssss......?
Joe: That means that we can kill them, or we can recruit them.
Wesley: What? Recruit Sailor Scouts for evil? Wouldn't that be-
... wait..... those scouts are probably secondary characters,
like Ensigns or whatnot. They get killed like flies; of course
they'll help me!
Joe: Excellent!
Wesley: Oh, and Joe?
Joe: Yeah?
Wesley: You failed me, right?
Joe: [starts to sweat]..... uh... not really..... I..... uh.....
Wesley: I _SHOULD_ blow you away, shouldn't I?
Joe [sighs]: Yes, sir. It is the custom.
Wesley: You have one more chance. Use it wisely, but it better
be a success, whatever you do!
Joe: So I can run to the store and get a carton of milk and call
that my mission.
[Wesley fires a warning bolt over Joe's head, and into a wall]
Joe: GULP!!!!! Yes, Mr. C!!! [jumps in the air and vanishes]
Wesley: How do they DO that!? [He ponders for a few seconds till
some bad porno music emanates from the crystal ball and he turns
around to look/stare].
*****************************************************************
[Scene: Rei's Temple. All of the Spiner Scouts and Chibi are
present. Everyone is in Rei's room]
Data: Wow... this place is nice! Good location, quiet area,
scenic view. All of this in Mysterious Tokyo.
All: PICK ME UP FOXY NIGHT GAME!
Data: This room is good too... HEY! She even has her own video
collection!
Worf: She sure does like to mark her stuff. This one has her
first name twice on it.
[Chibi looks up, runs over to Worf and grabs the Rei-Rei tape
from him]
Chibi: Remember, this is only supposed to go to lemonade as a
fanfic, not lemon!
Worf: Sorry.
Geordie: Hey look, this room even has a little refrigerator in
it! [Geordie looks inside and sees a hamburger wrapper labeled
"Royal with Cheese".]
Beverly: Enough admiration, we need to settle down for a while.
I suppose that we all spread out and find a place to sleep for
the night.
Riker: I get the same room with Deanna!!!
Deanna: The hell!
Worf: No! I wish to have that room!
Deanna: Now I know what Tenchi feels like.
****************************************************************
[Scene: the Shrine in the woods. It looks like all hell had broke
loose on it.... and indeed it has]
Joe: Kyaaa!!!!! Take this you little Sailor Twerps!
FORCEBOLT!!!!
[The ball of ki slams into Ryoko... she sighs]
Ryoko: Ohhhhhyeeeeeeeeeeah...... that felt GOOD! Please, can I
have some more?
Joe: HAH! And you too, you little purple haired twerp!
Ayeka: CALL ME PRINCESS!!!! [Tenchi shudders, remembers the whip.]
Mihoshi: I'll take care of this trouble maker! [Fires her gun,
and misses.... of course. It hits Ryoko.]
Ryoko: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Mascoism never felt so good!
Ayeka: I thought it was sadism....
Ryoko: Eh? Gomen-nassai! Oh, you [points to Joe] to what do we
owe this visit.
Joe [realization dawning]: Ummmm... you're not the Sailor
Scouts?
[All shake heads no.]
Joe: No even in disguise?
[Again, no.]
Joe: Well... sorry then. [steps into a portal and vanishes]
Tenchi: No one could know what I feel like... this has been a
DULL day!
*****************************************************************
[Scene... oh, you'll see! Joe steps out of the portal and looks
around. It's your average temple, around dusk. .]
Joe [thinking]: Finally! Hmmmmm... maybe I shouldn't take on the
scouts all alone... that one girl with the green hair could take
all of my attacks. But who to choose as my aid...... [a few minutes
of
thinking] A-HA! I summon.... FIRE ELEMENTAL!!!!!!
[A huge wall of fire shoots from the earth, and forms into a
female figure aflame. The figure is full of the normal respect
that the Negaverse dictates you treat generals with]
Elemental: Yeah? Whadda ya want?
Joe: I want you to take out the people in this house! I will-
[he tails off as he sees two men half walking, half staggering on
a nearby road. What is amazing is that they are both wearing
female school uniforms.] I'll.... I'll be back.
Elemental: Sure thing! [Joe sets off toward the road, and the
elemental goes to the temple. The elemental pokes around inside,
till she finds something: A 23 year old platinum haired woman
with cat eyes.]
Urd: May I help you?
Elemental: Yeah... I'm here to take you out.
Urd: Sorry, but that Lobo fellow already used that trick. Try
another line. Ja! [Urd turns to leave, when she is floored by a
blast of fire.]
Elemental: No, I think Joe meant I should kick your ass. [She
fires another shot and Urd is out for the count. Just then Skuld
runs in.]
Skuld: You blasted Urd!!!! [thinks for a second] What do I owe
ya?
Elemental: Just stand still [Another flame bolt shoots out and
wastes Skuld. She's knocked to the wall. Keiichi and Belldandy
enter.]
Belldandy: Please stop! Can't we work this out? Peace is the
way!
Lynn-Kyle: Yes! Peace is the way!!!!
Basara: Yes! Music is the answer! Please listen to my song; don't
you want to hear me play?
[Max Sterling walks on in a Veritech, blows those two away, and exits
in the general direction of
Carl Maehack's house. The scene continues as usual].
Elemental: Hahahahaha! Eat this, you Kasumi wanna be! [The bolt
is fired and... misses. Keiichi ducks the miss-aimed bolt ... but
lands wrong.]
Keiichi: Ow! My ankle!
Belldandy: YOU. HURT. MY. KEIICHI.
Elemental [feeling the battle starting to turn]: Uh... yeah.
[figures it's best to talk her way out] And look what I did to
your sisters! Don't screw with me or you're toast!!!!
Belldandy:[Louuuuuuuuuuud!] *YOU*. *HURT*. *MY*. *KEIICHI*!!!!!!
Elemental: Uh.... it was only a scratch? [Bigsweats]
[Cut scene to the road by the temple. Joe is talking to the two
men]
Man one: the replicator went fuzzy and now I'm here!
Joe: So you two must be 2 of the Spiner Scouts....
Man two: What?
Joe: It's a nickname. Anyway, you might want to come to the
Negaverse and see what we can cook up for you! The offer is good
forev-
[The temple bulges a bit as per anime physics, and an explosion rocks
the area for a
mile around. The blast looks to have come from the temple.]
Belldandy: WHO'S THE MOTHER FUCKER WHO SENT THIS THING THAT
HARMED MY KEIICHI!?!?!?!?!!??!
Joe: -for the next 10 seconds. You with me?
[They both nod, and they are off]
*****************************************************************
**
[Scene: Rei's Temple. Almost everyone is sprawled out asleep in
around Rei's bed]
Chibi: And these are the higher level officers, you say?
Beverly: Normally, they make such good decisions. When I said
that we should spread out, I meant all over the temple.
Chibi: Well... at least the negaforce didn't attack today.
However, we still need to find those sailors. From what I heard,
they are VERY powerful!
Beverly: Yeah... I wonder where they are now.....?
*****************************************************************
[Scene: the desert in Project A-ko VS Blue Side/Grey Side.
Barclay is riding in a sand cruiser... with a boy wearing a
bandanna at the helm.]
Barclay: Are you SURE this is the right way?!
Ryouga: Ah, shut up!
[The pass by another cruiser with Makoto, Fujisawa, and Alliele
in it.]
Fuijisawa and Ryouga: I loved you in Hot Shots Part Deux!!!!!!
Barclay: Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng!!!!!
*****************************************************************
*
[Kick in El Hazard background BGM]
Data: Neato Keen! In our next episode, we travel to the top of
Mount Muldoon to visit three mountaintop sa-... no, that's not
it! The Sailor Scouts try to complete their mission to study the
Guardian of Forever... but with the Youma get in their way?
[Scene of Enterprise firing on a Borg ship... like a poodle
taking on a Doberman.]
And it looks like Alliele split!
[Scene of Minnie May holding a letter saying that Alliele had to
go underground again]
See ya there!!!!
*****************************************************************
Sailor Says! Please, don't go around just whacking people like
Joe did in here [scene from a totally unrelated show pop up]! It
isn't right, and isn't legal unless you're a postal worker. And
even then, you have to register the weapon with Sid the Squid, or
your local mob rep. Sailor Moon says!
*****************************************************************
[We se Luna sitting behind a cat sized desk. She is shuffling papers
around and mumbling]
Luna: Lesse.... if I bet $30 Quick Lightning in the third race with..
.. [looks up] AUGH!!!! I mean,
"My, how nice it is to be back!". So, how are we all today? Good? I
really don't care; I get paid
for this either way. Without further a do, lets look at some
letters!
Date: Sat, 3 Feb 1996 22:09:41 -0600
From: Tou Cha [ashura@future.net]
Reply-To: fanfic@andrew.cais.com [fanfic@andrew.cais.com]
Subject: Re: [FanFic] Spiner Moon pt 3.1b
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was great! Very funny! You are a
true psycho!
Luna: Just to clarify: we are not true psychos. We are merely psycho
substitutes. Kinda like
margarine. Next!
Date: Sun, 4 Feb 1996 06:42:20 -0500
From: Windlily@aol.com [Windlily@aol.com]
Reply-To: fanfic@andrew.cais.com [fanfic@andrew.cais.com]
Subject: Re: Spiner Moon pt 3
*giggle!* Ah, man! I haven't laughed that hard in weeks!
The theme song was great, leave it in.
Didn't find much to critique, I was too busy laughing!
Good job, looking forwards to the rest.
(NOW! Or at least soon? Pleeeaaassseeeee.... ((best Serena whine))
Luna [fingers in ears]: Ow....
Thanks for sharing it, it was great!
Shannon
Luna: We've asked about the theme songs and.... well, we're going to
keep them in. However, we
probably aren't going to have OP *and* ED songs, probably just one
per episode. They take about
half and hour to make. Thank you for your comments..... Allright,
NEXT!
Date: Sun, 4 Feb 1996 14:00:41 -0500 (EST)
From: Sailor Gallifrey [omega@io.org]
Reply-To: fanfic@andrew.cais.com [fanfic@andrew.cais.com]
In-Reply-To: <013.00306891.RKXE96B@prodigy.com>
Subject: Re: [FanFic] Spiner Moon: dilithium
Yes, you can keep the theme song,since you spent enough time on
it! :)
And the various in-jokes are fine (even the card deck joke I know not
where that came from)
Luna: Oops. Continue.
as long as the story makes sense whether you get
it or not.
Those Space Balls jokes--oh man. Now I remember that I must rent it
again.
The story is still confusing at times but that has more to do with
the
jumping about in space and time. I get the geist of it. :)
Oh, and who cares about the properties of dilithium? This is a
parody!
--Omega
Luna: Well I DO!!!! They didn't tell me that extended eposure makes
you grow chest hair!!!!
Wait, I'm a cat.... I always had chest hair. Of course, Serina can't
be too happy.... NEXT!
Date: Mon, 05 Feb 1996 16:12:40 PST
From: beaubienrd@mala.bc.ca [beaubienrd@mala.bc.ca]
Reply-To: fanfic@andrew.cais.com [fanfic@andrew.cais.com]
Subject: Comment's on recent Sailor Moon fanfic's
[SNIP]
Next Spinner Moon
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
I loved this. This seem's like a well placed parody of both Star Trek
,
SM USA , and the orginal Sailor Moon. To bad I've only read part 3
:(
A letter for Luna:
Why do you put up with the Insanity when you could go to a more sane
anime , like Hello Kitty :) ?
Luna: Because sanity sucks! Besides, do you know how cool the trails
are off of Serina's hair? I
mean, uh..... Neflite told me. Yeah.... that's it [grins, shuffles to
hide something].
Yes I have too much time on my hand's....
Luna: Time isn't.... no, no, that's too easy a shot.....
Ja ne!!
Richard Beaubien
----------------
Mizuno Ami-chan forever!!!
Luna: I'll tell her [throws letter on top of a huge pile marked
"Ami's Fan Letters" Next to it are
similar piles for the other scouts and even a modest one for Luna and
Artemis. Beside it is one for
Serina. One letter, and it says "Dear Occupant".]
Luna: Till next time, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching
for that sexy callico cat with
the cute butt and the nice-
Artemis [pops on]: LUNA!!!!!!
Luna: And keep reaching for the stars. Geez, I don't get to have any
fun.
******************************************************************
Ok..... reference points:
Robotech (verb): 2. In misses, to scatter in a random direction
after launch, then converge from
several directions on the target.
That is from The Wacky Anime Definitions Dictionary. Also, look
for "Kick Ass Mode". It will
be on your test!
Also, for "It's the money, stupid!", look on The Anime Drinking Game.