Spiner Moon, Part 4

 Hack's Notes

     Wow.... four parts already. This series was originally 
going to be 6 or 8, with 2 of them being the ending (a parody of 
"All Good Things" and "Day of Destiny pt 2"... and maybe "Citizen 
Cane". Alright, I'm joking... I wasn't gonna do "All Good 
Things." At any rate, the series is gonna go on longer than I 
expected (perhaps 10-14 parts, if I have time). Probably what 
will happen is I'll have 10 or so parts, and make little OAV's.. 
or, if you will, OWF (Original Written Fanfic). So when the story 
says "The End", there just MAY be more.
     Oh, yes, Ranma � the Current Generation and From Mishima 
With Love. Those have been held back because I plain don't like 
"Mishima", (but YES, I will post it to the fanfic ML. DON'T ASK 
ME FOR IT!!!!!!) and I'd like to spend a lot of time on Ranma 
�: The Current Generation. Spiner Moon is just plain easier to 
write, and I don't have a lot of time.
     Finally, the story will not be bouncing around as much 
anymore. This part will focus mostly on the Spiner Scouts.... 
ENJOY!!!

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OP: Sail Away For Future [Irresponsible Captain Tyler]

[Start of the song, instrumental]
[Title Sound Effect]
     [The title "Irresponsible Captain Serina" flashes on screen.]
 Lets continue the journey 
     [Data's face is seen from a low vantage point, like Tyler's in 
the original OP. And just  like the original, his face gains sudden 
illumination and his hair blows back. Pan out    quickly, Worf and 
Deanna are kneeling under him, holding a huge fan and a headlight. 
We
     see that they are outside of  an arcade]
To a place that's not on any map.
     [The rest of the Spiner Scouts jump in, and yank Data, Worf, and 
Deanna into the arcade.  
           A  huge bolt slams into the spot where they were]
I will be holding, never let you go.
     [The smoke clears, and everyone is in a pile. Riker is holding 
onto Deanna in it, and she is   trying with all of her might to push 
him of. Apparently, she isn't succeeding.]
Grab what you want with your hands
     [Wesley comes into the arcade ,.... well, more of less blows the 
door away with the aid of   
          about 600 faceless minions  and stomps in. Everyone charges 
for battle... till they                 
         see the Sailor V video game has 2 "PRESS START"'s on 
screen]
lets go wherever we want.
     [Wesley and Data are playing the game, everyone rooting for 
their respective leader]
Carrying something that's more certain than the words.
     [Zoom on the screen, which is flashing random images. It stops 
on a negative video of     Serina, who is singing. Rei smacks her to 
shut her up, and the image snaps to normal      colors. Ami points to 
the veiwscreen and we see a Borg cube. Serina, like an idiot, 
motions
     to challenge it. Switch to inside of Borg ship. All of the Youma 
look up from a board game
     and we see the "scream shots" from Tyler, except with the 
Youma's faces.]
[The music gets REALLY loud]
     [The last one is Jadeite, and by reading his expressions and 
mouth you realize he gave a  command to GO!]
Right away, SAIL AWAY FOR FUTURE!!!!! 
     [The Borg ship is being chased by the Enterprise (BTW, the ships 
are not to scale, so this     doesn't look too... stupid. They whiz 
around, stop at a traffic light in space to let the      Yamato by, 
then continue. Some Roboteching* missiles f or no reason and they 
pull into a Mc Donald's]
Something unknown is waiting for us.
     [Sasami and Ryo-ohki are holding lighters in the air, singing 
along. We hear them distinctly
     when they say "Gonna be alright!"]
Throw away your worries and 
     [Scene of Serina falling and landing on a wire above a city. She 
almost falls over, but   Malekite helps her stay on. She gains her 
balance, and Worf hands her a Klingon battle    axe]
Come together, just think of tomorrow!
     [We see everyone's sillouhete on the line, all of them are 
walking to a large Starfleet
insignia around the end of the line.  A huge Sasami is holding up one 
end of the line, Ryo-ohki the
other.]
                         
LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!

                              *All songs are subject to change in 
final version.
*****************************************************************

  [Scene: Serina's classroom. Data is sitting at his desk, 
twiddling his thumbs... the teacher hasn't started class yet. 
Students are scattered and talking. Around the room, we here 
little bits and pieces of conversation]

  Assorted voices: So, how was the party? ...Totally rad!... Do 
you like my hair?... I think that the Vox Pops SUCK!... No way, 
you phlegmier, they RULE!!!....[A giant Teacher comes on 
and kicks the whiner's ass with a pink poodle (don't ask)] Yeah, who 
made 
you God? ....Are you one of us, just a stranger on the OUCH! ...
Shut up, Joan.......  Where did you hide the stash? ......Man,
 I tried glue like that UCI guy said in his newsletter... I don't 
think he meant Elmer's.... Did it REALLY change into a giant robot?

[The teacher, who looks a LOT like the one in A-ko, is at the front 
of the room. She 
clears her  throat]

 Teacher: Class.... [ahem]....class?....claaaaaaaaaaaaass.... 
SHUT UP!!!!!!! [dead silence] Thank you.

 Neflite: Oh, you heard Cheech and Chong too?

 Teacher: Augh! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!!!!!?

 Neflite: According to my shirt I'm born in Taiwa-..... do you hear 
something?


 [He looks up, just as the roof gives way. Jay Sherman and Rush 
Lumbaugh fall through the ceiling.... on him]

 Jay: Hah! I beat you down!

 Rush: There is still a floor to go, you liberal cream puff!

 Entire class: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM, liberal cream puff!

 Neflite: Oh no..... [falls through the floor with Jay and Rush]

 Data: Well... better than being eaten by a gerbil.

[The teacher turns to the blackboard and starts to write. When 
she is done, it says History]

 Teacher: Good morning, class! I'm going to be your sub!

 Class: Good morning, Ms. History.

 Teacher: You little dolts! That's not my name, that's the class!

 Class: Oh.

 Teacher: Now, we need to take attendance. I hope that you all 
signed the roll. [she looks at the roll and sees about 50 
names... there are 20 students. She sighs as she realizes what 
this means].

 Teacher: Ok.... Surime [yells Hai! and raises hand. The teacher 
checks the name] Bob [same as Surime] Ivan [same as the two 
before] Dennis Wolfshit-

 Dennis: BURG! Wolfburg!

 Teacher: Sorry.... Dick Hurtz [the class starts to titter, but 
holds it in for the signal]..... Dick Hurtz...... who's Dick 
Hurtz [Everyone raises their hands]

 Dennis: Cute.

 Teacher: Mr Wolfshit, please sit down.

 Dennis: That's Mr. Wolfburg!

 Teacher: Aren't you a little young to be married?

 Dennis: Why don't you give up on the roll so the hack doesn't 
steal more of my jokes? [puts his head on the desk]

 Teacher: Good idea. [throws the list away]. Now, onto our 
lessons! You are studying ancient Egypt, right?

 Class: Hai!!!! [Data's face goes blank as he tries to pull up 
all of his memories on the subject. This takes 2 seconds]

 Teacher: Ok... easy question: Who was the last person to be 
mummified?

 Data [raises hand]: I know! Bob Dole, April 5th 1975!

 Teacher [sarcastically]: Oh, an X-Files fan, I see.

 Data: Well, you have to admit it WOULD explain a HELL of a lot. 

 Teacher: Yeah.....

 Data: And Jesse Helms really a dark spirit of the netherworld.

 Teacher: Hmmmmmmm...

 Data: And Senator Edward Kennedy is an alien.

 Teacher: It CAN'T be!!!!

 Data: Why not?

 Teacher: Aliens can't drink that much.

 Data: I concede. [Slumps back in his chair] 

 Data [thinking]: I gotta get outta here. [He glances at the 
clock and sees there is an hour left in the period] Hmmmmm... it 
could be a while... Let me review what has gone on so far...

[Start a flashback sequence]

 Data: [waves his fingers] Diddley doot, diddley doot, diddley doot!

 Wayne: Stop that.

 Data: Sorry. [the screen goes all wavy]
*****************************************************************
*
 [Scene: Rei's temple. Deanna is out front in one of Rei's 
kimonos, sweeping with that broom in those little tiny strokes]

 Deanna [thinking]: Quarter inch to the left, quarter inch to the 
right, quarter inch to the left.... geez, I wish they'd let me use 
bigger strokes [Shut UP, Kathryn!!!!]. And just what the hell am 
I sweeping, anyway? [She looks down and sees dirt] 
Figures.
 [Just then, Chad comes running up]

Chad: Rei! Before your meeting with your friends, wanna listen to 
my new song?

 Deanna: [thinking] What could it hurt? [aloud] Sure!

[Scene wipe... Johnson and Johnson]

 Sasami [popping in]: Are you trying to make a joke on Baby Wipes? 
That is 
really lame!

 Author: Don't MAKE me send you to some other zone!!!!

 Sasami: It wouldn't bother me. Can't you see I'm a Pioneer? 
Besides, the hook would bring me back!

 Author: Zettai!

 Sasami: Part 2

 Author: Huh?

 Sasami: Forget the songs, just finish the fade in.

[The scene switches to inside of the temple. Chad has his band (just 
imagine the average "filler"
person) together around the temple flame, instruments ready]

 Chad: This is a cover of the song "It's Love".

 Deanna: You mean the one at the end of Ranma � the movie? By 
Rabbit?

 Chad: No, the one on the Fighting Song Karuta by Mousse. Hit 
it!!!!

 Deanna: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

[Now, dear reader, I DO expect you to have heard the end song to 
Ranma � the Movie 1. I know maybe three people who haven't. If 
you haven't heard it, don't worry about it. What you may not have 
heard is Mousse's version. It is the weakest guitar playing on 
the world and is just Mousse counting in Japanese.... it's 
scary...]

 Chad: ....it's l-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave! Oh, Rei, the 
guys have brought a gift for you for letting us use the temple!

 Band member: Uhhhh.. dude? I dropped it in the fire.

 Chad: WHAT?!

 Deanna: No big deal.... it's the thought that counts.

 Band member: But it was weed.

 Chad: I didn't ask for THAT!!!!!

 Deanna: So? There are plenty of weeds around here... we wouldn't 
miss any.

 Band member: But I mean weed... hash... pot... mari- HMPH!!!!! 
[Chad slapped a hand over the guy's mouth]

 Chad: Heh heh... um, I think I hear your fiends arriving! Ta ta! 
Oh.... um, don't inhale. [exits]


 [Chibi, Data, Geordie, Worf, Picard, Beverly, and Riker enter]

 Chibi: Gee... it smells funny in here.

 Data: Yes, it does.

 Geordie: I was gonna say something, but I forget.

 Deanna: Giggle!

 Worf: Shouldn't we have invited Q down here? He is an enemy, but 
right now he's with us!

 Chibi: Sorry, but part of this is to find a place for us to stay 
together... Rei's temple has a bazillion wards, maybe one of them 
will keep the weaker youma out. WE have to relocate seeing as 
they know where Serina's house is.... they may not have gotten 
the address to this place yet. There is also another temple in 
town that this place could be confused with.

 Riker: Who is there?

 Chibi: Some Morisato guy. The only reason I know is because 
Skuld comes to babysit me... and Urd comes around for some 
reason. Serina's dad says that it's to babysit him.

 Worf: But you still have not answered my question.

 Chibi: What would people think if a college guy was living with 
four teenage girls?

 [Riker gets a HUGE grin on his face]

 Chibi: Exactly. I mean, even this Morisato guy... ok, bad 
example. But you get my drift. Anyway, we need to find the next 
three sailors. 
 
 Picard: You mean to say that there are more?

 Chibi: Yep. Sailor Venus, Uranus, and Neptune.

 Data: [Snicker] Uranus (Yoor-aynus)?

 Chibi: No! Uranus (Urineos)

 Beverly: Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiia.

 Geordie: We already did that one. 

 Deanna: Weeeeeeeeeee!

 Worf: Someone please... do you see the lights?

[It looks like the smoke has taken effect]

 Data: How will we find them?

 Chibi: We'll use my bleeper! I found it on the street!

[Chibi holds up a device that looks like a cross between a 
compass, a GPS tracker, and a grid]

 Voice: Hey! That's mine!!!! [Bulma steps onto the scene, grabs 
it, and walks off]

 Chibi: Oh well, I..... feel mellow. He he!!!!

[All of the cast except for Data is now stoned out of their wits]

 Data [thinking]: If we can get everyone together, we might be 
able to find a way to get home! Yes, we will have to do so. 
[Looks out and sees his comrades... all giggling like Uncle Duke 
in Doonesbury]
 Tomorrow.
*****************************************************************

[Cut to the class room. It is a different class, and it looks 
like there are only  a few minutes left. And that goodness, for 
even Data looks like he's about to nod off. The teacher is at the 
black board, droning on.]

 Teacher (lets name this one.... ummmm... Mrs. D): And remember, 
water plus heat equals steam. Never forget that. It could save 
the world some day.

 Data: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

[The bell sounds, and 30 heads shoot up... disturbing the air 
flow that joins a jet stream... altering the world's weather 
pattern so a moron in Hollywood is stuck in his car in an 
accident caused by slick roads and thinks of a really stupid car 
commercial.]

[Everyone gets up to go to lunch]

 Voices: Alright! Time to go!... What are you having for 
lunch?.... Did it REALLY change into a giant robot?... I hear he 
wears Akane's underwear.... Attica!!!!...Did you do the homework? 
Great... Melvin gets another customer... what's with all that 
"wattitititicka" shit?.... But I love her too much to do that! 

[Data grabs his "C-ko bentou box" (a product of Big Ass corp, 
makers of spatulas) and leaves the class. He sees Picard and the 
others 
sitting under a tree outside, and walks over to join them. As he sits 
down, they start to talk.]

 Deanna: We had to take a test today and MAN was it hot. Some 
moron blew the roof right off of the school!

 Worf: That's nothing! We have some green haired flying girl in 
our class!


 Geordie: We had some... catgirl, I guess you'd call it. She 
seemed normal enough, till she started chacing mice.... and 
licking herself.

 [Molly comes up to the group out of nowhere and takes a seat]

 Molly: After school, does anyone want to go for a chocolate 
parfait?
 
 Worf: Is it just me, or does anyone want to kill her when she 
says "parfait"?

 Molly: That's really WEIRD, Lita! You're the third person to 
tell me that today. I think that's WEIRD, what about you guys? Do 
you think it's WEIRD? Man, that's the WIERDEST!

 Data: [aside to Worf] With our bare hands or with some sort of 
instrument? 

 Molly: But what do you guys think? Wanna go for one?

 Deanna: Uh... no thank you.

 Molly: Well, how about for a video game? I hear that there is a 
new Sailor Gailfrey, er, V video game out. "Sailor Airhead: 
Appologies for the Technojunk Political Incorrectness!"

 Picard: That... is a hell of a cheap plug... besides, we have to 
look for someone.

 Molly: Oh... ok. Oh, did you know that there is a new girl in 
town that looks just like Sailor V?

[Data perks up]

 Data: Really?

 Molly: Yeah, but she doesn't wear glasses.

 Worf: Damn... can't be her.

 Molly: Sayyyyy [turns to Picard] I haven't seen YOU around. You look 
to young to be at this
school.

 [The bell rings and class starts before he can reply.]
*****************************************************************

[Scene: Mina's bedroom. I have NO idea what it looks like, so no good 
sight gags on this one.
Gomen! Barclay is coming to on the bed.]

 Barclay: Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng.... oh, wow, whatta rush. I feel 
like I'm..... a 14 year old girl with blond hair, blue eyes, and 
superpowers. I've REALLY gotta stop eating at Lenny's!

[An elderly woman steps onto the scene and starts to speak, but 
Barclay stops her.]


 Barclay: I mean mu cousin Lenny, not Denny's. 

[She exits. Barclay starts to look around the room.]

 Barclay [thinking]: Ugh... what did I do before I woke up here!? 
Ummmm... I bought a CD... Deamon's, I think it was [far away, Mara 
rolls 
over in her coffin... it wasn't worth it]. I remember being in 
the holodeck, programming for one of my friends, when the Captain 
announced that we were about to hit an anomaly. I didn't bother 
to brace myself, seeing as I'm a regular who is popular. Then... 
I wake up here. Great... nothing to go on... no.... perhaps I'm 
still on the holodeck, inside of a program! 

[He he gets off the bed, and looks around]

 Barclay: Yeah! THAT'S IT!!!! Now, I just find out who I am and 
get out of here!

[A glowing door opens next to him, and Dean Stockwell walks out]

 Dean: Ok... Sam, you're gonna love this one, with the Swiss 
cheese memory of yours. You've leapt into Ronald Reagan during... 
hey, you're not Sam. [He steps back in, and the door closes]

 Barclay: Huh!? Well... lemme look around, and find something to 
hide behind... maybe one of these days that testosterone patch 
will kick in. [He looks around, and spots a newspaper. On the 
front is a picture of a blond haired girl with glasses only a 
tourist would buy. She is looking heroic for the camera. Behind 
her is another girl with pig-tails, doing a very good job of 
looking pissed off. The headline reads: Gorbachev Sings Tractors, 
Turnips!*

 *[Guys, help! I can't find my Bloom County books... if any of 
you have any, could you look up the real line for me?]

 Barclay: Hmmmmmmm... I'd bet.....  [looks in mirror and sees 
Mina... sans glasses]. Naaaaa... I'm not her. But still, I look 
like all the girls that wouldn't go out with me... [he looks 
again and sees a pair of glasses on the desk. He puts them on 
and..]
 Oh my goodness! I'm Sailor V!!!!! Wait... my name is Barclay...
 Hah!!!!! I'm Sailor B!!!!!!! [Grins and starts to dance]. Ye-
hah! This will be good, safe fun! Better than being stuck in the 
damn engineering room!

[Grins, and fade to black. Commercial time!]
*****************************************************************
[Fade in. Cue cheezy Mento's commercial. I think that you all 
know the BGM (someone PLEASE send me the lyrics!]

[The guy and his friends start to cross the street. Suddenly, the 
light changes, and one guy is left on the curb. He pops a Mentos, 
and walks out. He slides into the backseat of a car... where the 
driver then takes a gun out and shoots him. Music stops. This IS 
New York, after all]

Alternate ending

[He slides into the back seat of a cab.... and the doors lock. He 
looks at the "Your Driver" sign and sees Hannibal Lechter. Music 
keeps going.]

 Mentos! The Death Makers [the Foo Fighters start playing, fade 
to black]
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