At 04:37 PM 3/7/96 +0100, you wrote:

First of all I gotta say that I LOVE this story, keep ut the good work! :)

Thanks.  It's rough going right now on part three because I'm going to have
to restructure the bath scene between Nabiki and Kasumi.  As someone
correctly pointed out, Nabiki wasn't mercenary enough.  I have a couple of
ideas...

Then, there is this one line that bothers me, not that it really matters,
but if you look at the following:

pillows, angry.  "Fine!  Be that way!"  She turned her  head

>from him, crossing her arms across her breasts.

                                      ^^^^^^^ 

I dunno, but I think it seems more natural to write "chest" here instead.....
As I said, not a really big thing :)

Well, I agree with you.  I changed it (as you'll see when I mail out another
copy today).  Thanks for the tip.



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Later,                        |  <witty .sig applied for>  ^_^
Todd Hill                     |
Newberry College Computer Lab | Author: UY - The Prince and the Lecher
Newberry, South Carolina      |         Ranma 1/2 - Careful Destiny
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