Writer's note:
A few of you might recognize this bit....
It used to be called Nerima By Night, a quick little TMTC aftermath
story. But, as I wrote TPOH, I realized that, well, Nerima By Night
was (a) out of continuity and (b) would make a perfect act I part 2.
and so, with LOTS of rewrites here and there....
ROUGH DRAFT.....
-rod m
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
* * *
The nights in Nerima are sometimes surprisingly peaceful. There may be
nights when the gigantic monsters don't roam the streets wrecking houses.
There are times when Mishima Heavy Industries DOESN'T send out a ridiculously
big mechanized assault vehicle through the neighborhood after some girl with
bionic abilities. There are times when the place almost seems normal(1).
Tonight could have been a night like that.
It wasn't.
As if part of a wave effect, bedroom light after bedroom light opened up
in houses next to each other, in apartments, in hotels. Each flick of the
light was accompanied by a scream of horror.
Hidden safely in the shadows of a roof, a figure giggled malevonently.
His eyes glowed a bloody shade of red. His hands trembled in anticipation
as he stroked the fine silk string in his hands.
"They thought they could stop me? Me? No man has stopped me! Ever!"
*WHAP* "PERVERT!" Ukyo grinned evily, putting her assault-spatula away.
"Teach _him_ not to mess with my laundry..." she grumbled.
Happosai sailed on, across the skies. "Well, no man, but maybe some
women once or twice..."
* * *
========================
The Pursuit of Happiness
========================
sequel to "The More Things Change"
Chapter 1
Part 2
BETA VERSION
Dreams and Larceny
---------------
- NERIMA BY NIGHT -
---------------
Happosai hopped from rooftop to rooftop, carrying his ever-growing
bag of female undergarments with him.
The wind was in his face.
The rush of adrenaline as he makes the perfect theft.
The silky smoooooth panties, powering up his fighting spirit.
This was what living was all about.
This, and sex. But he hadn't gotten much of that for several decades,
so the panties would have to do for now.
And speaking of which...
He held a panty up to his nose and inhaled deeply.
"BLECH! BLECHBLECHBLECH! AAAACK! PTUI!"
Happosai laid on the floor, twitching and in pain. "Something... wrong...
with...panty... BLECH!"
*
The window was open.
The drawers were open.
They were also empty.
"Dammit, somebody stole my panties!"
Tsubasa angrily shut his window. Well, he thought, there's gonna be some
improvements in house security for sure.
= = =
Ukyo looked from her storefront window to the night sky outside. One
of these days, she thought, I really oughta leave this town, if only for
a while.
Really.
There's nothing hold me here, is there?
She sighed and closed the shutters on the front windows.
Something was missing.
"Ryoga? Hey, Ryoga, where'd ya go?"
She looked in the kitchen.
It seemed that he'd already done his job there. The dishes and the
stove was cleaned out. But Ryoga was nowhere in sight.
"I'm gonna buy that idiot a pager one of these days," she muttered.
= = =
Ryo Muhoshin stared uneasily into the night. The money from his last
job was running out. He knew enough to make a few shrewd investments, but
that was only delaying the inevitable. He didn't want to do this, it wasn't
his style, but he sighed internally, cursing life, cursing fate, cursing
bureaucracy, and accepted his current destiny.
He slipped the money from the safe into his backpack and quietly raced for
the open window in the distance.
Burglary wasn't like assasination or security detail. He didn't get to
hit anybody. He didn't get to use his martial arts training. He had to be
_not_ flamboyant.
It wasn't much fun at all.
= = =
Tsubasa brushed his long brown hair out of his eyes and concentrated on the
main circut board of his Postal 210 disguise battle mech. He chewed on his
cigar, tossed the beer can away, and mulled over the design flaws.
"Hell with it, it's good enough," he said, in a gruff voice.
He hopped into the Postal 210, flipped a switch that activated the tank
treads, and drove off into the night.
Several minutes later, his first victim appeared.
"SAOTOME! PREPARE TO DIE!" Tsubasa yelled into the microphone.
The Mishima Heavy industries 3-way Super-bass speakers boomed his message
across the neighborhood.
Ranma, who had just gone for a midnight jog, looked like a deer caught in
the headlights. Tsubasa grinned evily and flipped a switch, turning a mere
post office box with tank treads into a 15 foot tall monstrosity of a mech.
"Jeez!" yelled Ranma and sprinted down the street.
"YOU WON'T GET AWAY!"
Ranma ran futily down the street and suddenly they were in front of Ukyo's
resteraunt.
"Hey! Help! Ukyo! Ryoga! Anybody!" Ranma nervously yelled.
Tsubasa flipped another switch and a deadly blade popped out of one of the
Postal 210's arms. "This is the end, Saotome." Tsubasa said.
The arm flung down with Ranma dead in it's sights.
Tsubasa grinned triumphantly.
Ranma froze in terror.
Suddenly, the mech was rocked on its side as the yell "Shishi Houkoudan!"
bellowed forth. The blade smashed to the left of Ranma, who scrambled away
quickly.
Tsubasa swivled the mech cameras around. "HIBIKI!" he yelled into the
microphone, "SO YOU WANNA DIE TONIGHT TOO? FINE!" Tsubasa wanted to enjoy
the elimination of his enemies, i.e. using a really big blade, but he realized
that sometimes it didn't pay to have too much fun at work. After all, that's
how the heroes always escape. Tsubasa flipped a switch and several Mishima
Heavy Industries Inc. precision lasers popped out of the Postal 210's
shoulders. "DIE!" he yelled, and pulled hard on the trigger.
Tsubasa emerged from his mech and stood before two piles of ash. He looked
at them solemly, and then kicked them into the winds. "So long, suckers!" he
yelled (in a surprisingly gruff, deep baritone voice) and lit up a cigar.
Ukyo emerged from her resteraunt, shocked. Tsubasa looked at her and
smiled. "Hey, Ucchan. Come on over here."
She looked at the ashes scattered all over the place. "You killed them?"
she asked.
"Yup." He took another puff from his cigar.
"Oh thank you!" she yelled, and rushed into his arms. "Ranma was just so
annoying the way he got free food all the time! And Ryoga too! Oh, thank you
for getting rid of those freeloading bums!"
"T'was nothin'" Macho-Tsubasa said.
She turned her eyes towards his, looking deeply. She leaned forward,
presenting her lips.
"But you'll give up this silly business with the mechs, right?"
Tsubasa froze. "But... but... I _like_ mechs!"
"What would you rather have, mechs? Or _me_."
He couldn't believe this. A couple of months ago this would be an easy
question. But now, he couldn't decide...
"I... um... you..."
"Tsubasa-chan?" Ukyo was getting impatient.
"Can't I, um, can't I do, er, have both?"
"TSUBASA YOU JERK!"
*CLANG*
* * *
"Ow!" Tsubasa said, rubbing his head. He groggily looked around. "Oh," he
said, realizing that he'd fallen asleep while working on the Postal 210 again.
Tsubasa pondered continuing his work, but decided that working while groggy
would just lead to construction errors.
Tsubasa yawned, rubbing the gear-shaped dent in his forehead, and went to
his room for a rest. "Darnit, that's going to bruise! I wonder if
makeup can cover it up."
Unknown to him, the Kurenai house was being watched.
Outside, in a van...
"This is Arisa to M1. Repeat Arisa to M1. We have fount Kurenai."
"//Keep an eye on her. Don't approach her yet. Over.//"
"Okay. End transmission."
= = =
Out on a ledge in downtown Tokyo, seventy floors up, Ryo Muhoshin crept
slowly upwards.
Okay, Ryo thought, almost there. High risk but high reward. There was
a corporation out there that wanted the latest specs from MendoTech, and
they put out the word that they were willing to pay whatever it took to get
the information.
Just a bit higher... R&D was on the 73rd floor.
Maybe MendoTech was one tough corporation owned by one tough and crazy
family. The Mendo Clan even had their own _army_, commanded by their crazy
little heir. It took a brave guy to mess with that family.
I'm brave, Ryo reassured himself.
Then it happened.
He sensed a presence. Someone was up there with him.
What the-?! Who was up here with him?
"Hold it right there!" an unbearably cute voice said.
"Right." Ryo wanted to see exactly what was going on.
There was a long silence.
"You don't want to know who I am?"
"I should ask, I guess."
Suddenly, a girl appeared. It wasn't just an ordinary girl. She was
glowing pink, dressed in a sailor outfit, and wielding a staff with a big
heart at the end of it. She was floating in the air.
"I am Magical Girl Kuruma!"
"Magical girl?" Ryo's expression was blank.
"You... you mean you've never heard of me?"
"Can't say that I have, no."
"Hm..." Kuruma looked at him with a confused expression on her face. She
_thought_ she sensed a supernatural disturbance, but there was only this
ordinary guy on a building.
"So what're you doing up here anyways?" she asked.
"Honestly? Well, you could say I'm getting information."
"You mean industrial espianoge?"
"Some would call it that, I suppose."
Magical Girl Kuruma looked deep in thought for a moment. Well, she
pondered, there wasn't any demons or spirits running amock like she was used
to dealing with, but there _was_ this guy doing obviously criminal activity.
But she'd never had to deal with "people" bad guys, just supernatural stuff.
Ryo held on the side of the building, wondering what was supposed to
happen next.
"I guess I oughta stop you."
"I was hoping you wouldn't..." Ryo didn't like fighting girls. That
didn't mean that he was above that sort of thing. It just left a certain
distaste in his mind afterwards. Besides, the girl said she was magical,
and the last encounter with magic stripped him of some very serious powers.
Ryo slowly edged away from the girl. There wasn't much room to manuver.
Not enough to fight, either. If she had a blast-type attack he knew he
would be in trouble.
Magical Girl Kurumi held out her hand, where a staff appeared out of
nowhere. It had a giant red glowing crystal heart at its tip. She pointed
it at Ryo.
"Crystal Heart Entrappment!!!"
The crystal glowed.
Not much else happened.
"Curiosity demands," said Ryo, "that I ask if something was supposed to
happen."
"Well, you were supposed to be entrapped in crystal until the authorities
come and get you."
"No kidding. You've done this before?"
"Don't be silly! Of course I have!" She had indeed, on people and demons.
There wasn't a reason for it not to work now.
"That staff, it's magical?" he asked.
"Yup."
Ryo touched the heart with a finger. The crystal dimmed considerably.
This, he thought, was rather interesting.
"Ribbon wrap!" Kurumi pulled a ribbon from her hair and lashed it at
Ryo. It circled around him, and then went lame.
"I assume that was a magical device as well?" asked Ryo.
"Well, yeah..."
"How, may I ask, are you floating?" Ryo was getting an idea.
"It's all magic."
Gears turned over in Ryo's mind. He was never immune to magic.
Gosunkugi certainly proved that. Hm...
Ryo grinned evily.
Before she could dodge, Ryo reached out and touched her. Immediately,
she started plummeting to the concrete streets below.
"Interesting," he said, watching her fall.
Before she hit the pavement, Magical Girl Kurumi managed to find the
ability to fly again, and narrowly avoided concrete death. She angrily
zoomed back to Ryo.
"That wasn't nice!" she yelled. "How'd you do that?"
"I have no idea. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some information to
retrieve." Ryo ignored the girl and resumed climbing up.
Magical Girl Kurumi didn't like being ignored. "THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING
THE POLICE!!!" She pulled out a cellular phone.
Ryo frowned. "Fine, I'm going." He opened his umbrella and jumped off,
floating to the streets below.
= = =
Nodoka Saotome looked into the night sky, feeling some measure of warmth
knowing that somewhere out there, her son was looking at the very same stars.
She sat in the park, wondering how her son was doing. Was he eating right?
Was he treating Akane properly? Was he a Man Amongst Men?
How was Genma? She missed him so very much.
Suddenly, she noticed a movement in the park and readied her katana.
The figure came closer... closer... and then veered to another sidewalk
path in the park. Nodoka examined the figure in the darkness of the night.
"Akane?" she said quietly. What was she doing out here? It seemed rather
late for a jog around the neighborhood. After all, there could be some real
strange people out there.
She put her katana away.
Nodoka was about to go home for the night when she saw someone else.
Following Akane.
How DARE anyone threaten the fiancee of her son! Nodoka readied her Katana
once more and followed the figure.
....
After a few minutes, Akane came to a stop for a brief rest.
Ranma hid behind a water fountain, watching over her. He didn't like these
late jogs. They just weren't safe. Who knows what kind of weirdos were out
there at this time of night?
Suddenly, he felt the cold steel of a blade against the back of his neck.
"You there," a woman's voice commandingly said, "what do you think you're
doing? I should call the police, or better yet just kill you."
"Er... it's not what you think."
"Do tell."
"Look, she's my fiancee and I just, just, just wanna make sure nobody does
nothin weird to her."
"Fiancee?" she asked.
Akane noticed the noise coming from behind the waterfountain and looked.
Her face froze in shock.
Ranma suddenly realized where he heard this woman's voice before.
Nodoka turned the word "fiancee" over in her head.
"Son?" she asked.
Ranma turned around slooowly. He saw his mother. Holding a katana.
"YAAAAH!" he screamed, and stumbled back.
Into the fountain.
Akane slapped her head in disbelief. Foolish boy!
Nodoka looked on, stunned. "Ran... Ranko? You're Ranko? WHAT'S THE
MEANING OF THIS! GENMAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Suddenly an obese panda fell from the sky, landing in front of Nodoka. She
aimed her blade at its forehead. "Genma! Explain this NOW!"
"Rowf?" the panda said, startled.
He held a sign up desperately. //I SWEAR, I'M JUST A PANDA!!!//
"Don't play innocent with ME anymore, you lying BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO
MY SON??!?!?!?!"
She swung the blade down hard...
*
"ROWF!" Genma yelled as he bolted upright.
Wait a minute.
"Rowf?" he muttered.
*CLONK* "Hey, keep it down, pop! I'm tryin' to sleep!" Ranma angrily
muttered.
Genma shook his head vigorously.
He wasn't in his panda mode.
He tried his vocal abilities once more: "ahem."
That's better.
"Mm. I hate when that happens."
Genma went off to find a glass of water. After all, it was easier to deal
with the cold winter nights as a panda.
= = =
Ryoga, covered with several layers of travel-type blankets and sleeping
bags, sat atop the rooftop of Ucchan's admiring the stars. The stars in
winter always seemed a bit clearer to him. In the summertime, the starlight
was too easily covered up by the city lights or by clouds.
But in the winter it was different. He didn't know why, but it just was.
He idly twirled his compass necklass around.
"Ryoga? Hey, where'd you go?" Ukyo yelled. She was closing up the store
when she noticed that the resident navigationally-impaired boy was missing.
After living with him for the past several months, she knew he was either lost
hopelessly or up on the roof.
"Up here!"
"Hey, Ryoga, what'cha doin?" Ukyo asked as she climbed unto the roof.
"Just stargazing. Maybe it's silly, but I like to do it."
"No, it's not silly. Ran-chan does it alot in the summer."
Something he has in common with Ranma? Blech.
"Jeez, it's cold out here. Hey, mind if I join ya?" asked Ukyo.
"Sure. No problem," said Ryoga, and he scooted to one side to make room
under the blankets for her.
"Thanks," she said, and scooted in.
"What's keeping you up?" asked Ryoga.
"Oh, just things, I guess. Life. The universe. Stuff."
"You really thinking about closing down the resteraunt?"
"Maybe. If Nabiki's estimates are right, I can live off of the profits from
some investment picks she's got lined up."
"Hm..."
"Hey, don't worry about a place to stay. You can stay here even if I shut
down the place."
"You sure?"
"What are friends for, right?"
They settled in once more, looking out into infinity. Stars swirling around
other stars...
"Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking but," asked Ukyo, "what's going on
with you and Ryoko?"
"Eh?"
"Well, she seem kinda sweet, and she seems to really be in love with you,
Ryoga."
"Yeah, but I dunno. I don't think that I... well... argh! How'd Ranma
ever handle these things?!?!"
"You in love with her?"
"..."
"Well?"
"I don't know. Never had a girl ever tell me she loved me before. I've
always been a loner, y'know? This love thing, it's new to me. I mean, er,
you, um, how'd you know... er..."
"Eh?"
Ryoga sighed. "Never mind."
"Hey," said Ukyo in a sleepy tone, "if you don't feel the same, tell them.
Tell'em now. No sense in dragging things out and breaking a girl's... *yawn*...
heart, y'know?"
"Yeah, I guess," said Ryoga. "I wouldn't want to end up making all the
mistakes Ranma made."
He sighed and dug deeper into the blankets, avoiding the chill of the light
breeze. "Hey, Ukyo, I think we oughta be going back n..."
He felt something on his shoulder.
It was warm.
It was soft.
Ryoga nervously glanced to his left. He wasn't sure exactly what he should
be feeling, and he wasn't sure if he was hoping or dreading what was happening
over there on the left shoulder either, but he had to check.
Yup. It was Ukyo. She had fallen asleep and her head tiled to the right,
and therefore unto Ryoga's shoulder.
"Hey," Ryoga hissed, "Ukyo, hey, hello, wake up, excuse me, ahem, yo."
She wouldn't wake up.
He shrugged his shoulder a bit. She turned her whole body to the right.
She rested her face against his shoulder.
Oh well, it was a beautiful night anyways. And under the blankets it wasn't
too cold at all. Soon, Ryoga drifted off into unconsciousness as well.
= = =
Akane couldn't sleep on this night. Too many things were bothering her.
She _though_ that Ranma was finally getting along with her. She _thought_
that for once, she'd get her happy ending.
Once again, Ranma proved her wrong.
Ever since he ended up in the hospital, they'd been fighting every bit
as loudly as when he first came to the house. Any little thing would
set either of them off. Akane wondered where things went wrong. All this,
and it was Valentine's Day soon. She didn't want to spend it alone.
"Dammit," she muttered.
Akane turned in her bed, turned again, and finally decided that sleep
wasn't something she was ready for just yet...
* * *
Ranma waited in the delivery room, anxious to see his first child.
"I'm gonna be a dad. _I_ am gonna be a _dad_. Wow." he muttered as he
nervously paced around the floor.
"Mr. Saotome?" a nurse called from behind the doors of the operating room.
"Yeah? That's me! What's happening?"
"Congratulatins, Mr. Saotome!" the nurse said, guiding him into the
operating room, "you're a father!"
Akane layed on the bed, cradling a small infant in her arms. She smiled
warmly, in the way that only moms do.
"A.. Akane?" Ranma nervously asked. "Can I.. I.."
Akane smiled and held the baby forward for Ranma to hold. He cradled it
gently in his arms, feeling overwhelmed. The child already had a few locks
of hair on its head.
"Say, is it a boy or a girl?" he murmered as he tapped the baby gently on
the cheek.
Akane took a glass of water.
"Wha-"
And poured some gently on the baby.
"-t?"
And it's hair turned red.
"Ah.. no.. nonono... it isn't..."
Everyone in the operating room happily shook their heads.
"Congrats, honey," Akane cheerily said, "it's both!"
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
* * *
"Gah!"
*FWAP* //QUIET!// "Rwowr!"
"Sorry, pop."
Ranma sat upright, shaking badly. He took deep breaths.
"Only a dream. Only a dream."
He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep any more that night, and headed off to
the kitchen for a late night binge. He wasn't sure if that would calm him
down, but it always worked for his dad.
As he got up, Ranma heard footsteps. He quietly opened his door.
Nobody.
He crept downstairs.
Nobody.
Then he heard the front door open. Ranma snuck to the front just in time
to see Akane leaving in her jogging outfit.
"What the..." What time was it? Didn't she know it was too damn early
for a jog?
"Stupid girl," he muttered.
This wasn't his problem. No sir. Nope. If the tomboy wants to go jogging
around in the city while it's dark and cold and late and dangerous....
"Dammit. Dammitdammitdammit." He went back to his room for a quick
change of clothes and then headed out the door.
"Stupid girl. Stupid stupid girl." he muttered. Just great. Something else
for him to worry about.
Ranma jogged out into the night, looking for Akane.
After all, there's strange people out there.
= = =
Happosai snuck into the large mansion. This particular place was one spot
he had his eye on for quite a while now. Not only was the lady of the house
one sexy woman, she had expensive lingerie. Top dollar panties. Creme de la
creme.
As he zoomed stealthily down the hallways, he found his target, the main
bedroom, and snuck quietly inside...
* * *
Ryo scaled the wall of the mansion. This, he knew, would pay off big. This
joint was owned by one _rich_ lady. In fact, it was owned by a lady that he
was briefly quite fascinated with. It was unfortunate that he had to resort
to thieving from her, but the payoff from this little expadition would keep him
financed for a week.
He opened the window and crept inside...
* * *
Happosai dug through the drawers and grinned like the devil. Panties!
Ultra-silky, ultra-smooth panties! He dove into the drawer and immersed
himself totally in undergarments.
*BANG*
And then his world went black.
* * *
Ryo felt around the walls, behind the paintings, with no luck.
Where was the safe?
He decided to dig into the closet. Maybe it was ther-
*BANG*
"Ow!" he silently muttered. Ryo looked down. The lady left her
panty drawer open and he slammed his leg into the damn thing.
He nervously looked at the bed, where a rather stunning beauty of a woman
was lying there, asleep, in a rather stunning and very see-through nightgown.
"Niiiihaoo," Ryo muttered, admiring the view, and went off to the closet.
Maybe the safe was in there...
* * *
Happosai's senses were put on alert. Somebody, maybe the lady, had just
closed the damn drawer on him. Whoever it was seemed to be moving away.
Happosai, demonstrating amazing strength for a man his size, opened the drawer
from the inside and looked around.
Hm... seemed the lady went back to sleep.
The lady.
In the see-through nightgown.
And those... those...
"Oh my," he croaked.
Hm? He just said "oh my"? Where the hell did that come from? Happosai
shook his head. Must've spent too much time around Kasumi. He struggled with
all his might and turned _away_ from the sight of those... those... well, he
turned away and headed for the closet. There wasn't any bras in the drawer,
so he was hoping they were stored there. Those, and maybe some more of those
exquisite nightgowns.
Happosai happily made his way into the closet and was burying himself in
a hung silky item which he hoped was a negligee when suddenly...
* * *
Ryo, in the dark, felt around the walls of the crowded closet.
Shoes.
Skirts.
Shoes.
Shoes.
Something with spikes... _yowza_ He blushed a bit and put the rather
revealing item of leatherwear back down.
Shoes.
Shoes.
What is it with women and shoes?
Hm... what else... he felt around blindly...
Something silky, warm, softish and round.
Er.
Silky?
Soft?
Warm?
Round?
* * *
Happosai sweated nervously. He was caught. Deep in enemy territory.
And stuck in a negligee.
* * *
Ryo sweated nervously. Not only was he robbing the girl, now he could
be charged with sexual assault.
Very slowly, Ryo let go and reached for the lightswitch.
* * *
=CLICK=
"YOU!"
"YOU!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Thieves!!" *WHAP*
Kodachi twirled her ribbon madly, but by the time her eyes adjusted to the
light, the burglars were gone.
One seemed to have left something behind...
She opened the bag.
"Panties?"
* * *
Ryo ran furiously into the cold winter night. "Damn you, old man! You
ruined everything!" As he landed on a rooftop, he swung his umbrella wildly
at Happosai.
"What about me, huh? Curse you for interfering! I lost my whole bag of
panties!" Happosai angrily flung a dozen bombs at Ryo and hopped to another
rooftop. He fumbled slightly on his landing. Being trapped inside a negligee
usually did that to small people.
Ryo jumped in pursuit as another Nerima home was overly-ventilated
(*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*) and he flung a ki-blast out towards the
mini-megapervert, who dodged it easily. "You die tonight!"
"Oh? Is that so?" said Happosai, who suddenly let loose with a flying kick
that sent Ryo across the skies and into the park, slamming into a fountain.
"Tonight, foolish young man, you shall feel the wrath of Happosai!!!!"
The little man bounded away, the negligee flapping madly, chasing after his
victim.
* * *
Ranma muttered angrily, "stupid girl, stupid girl..." as he ran silently
into the night. She was taking her usual route, around the neighborhood,
through the park, and around across the newly repaired bridge(4). That's the
usual route she took in the mornings, Ranma knew, since once or twice he had
decided to follow her, merely out of curiosity.
Well, that's what it seemed she was doing tonight anyways. They did the
neighborhood thing and were cutting across the park, and...
*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
Bomb explosions.
Damn.
Happosai.
*WHAM* "Ow!"
* * *
Akane was almost out of the park when she heard it.
*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
Bomb explosions.
Damn.
Happosai.
*WHAM*
Something flew by her.
"Ow!"
And hit somebody behind her? Akane looked back curiously.
Imbedded into the water fountain was Ryo, who was currently cushoned from
his impact by Ranma-chan.
"Ranma?" Akane wondered what he was doing here. She approached cautiously.
"Haposaaaaaiiiii!!!" Ryo roared as he shoved off of something in his attempt
to get up.
"Gedoffame!" Ranma yelled as Ryo shoved her in the face. He grabbed Ryo's
arm and twisted it.
"Gah! WHO DARES?!" Ryo yelled. He wasn't in the mood for any more
inconveniences. He twisted violently and spun around, slashing wildly with his
umbrella. He heard a shriek.
"Akane!" Ranma-chan called out. She flung Ryo into a tree and went to her.
"Are you okay?" she asked, sounding genuinely concenrned. Akane's hand was
bleeding.
"I'm okay," she said, "it's just a cut."
"Dammit! He's dead!" Ranma-chan charged angrily at Ryo. "Nobody
hurts my fiancee!" She aimed a jump-kick at his head.
*BONK*
And was knocked out of her flight by something...
"Sorry, Ranma, but that one is mine!" Happosai said from somewhere in
the darkness. Happosai's laughter was heard from far above.
"Ranma? I don't see any Ranma..." Ryo muttered. Just some irate redhead.
Worry about the minor distractions later, he had a fool to fry. Ryo
looked up into the trees, searching for his enemy.
*BONK*
Ryo stumbled back. Something had hit him on the nose.
*BONK*
And on the head. In fact, there seemed to be alot of things falling all
around him. Lots of round, small things with fuses...
Ryo lashed out with the hook-end of his umbrella into one of the trees and
pulled hard, pulling back a surprised Happosai. "Old man, you will... will..."
There was a sound.
Hissing.
Ryo suffered a quick flashback to the fight that put him in the hospital(5).
He would never forget the sound..... of bomb fuses burning.
This was that sound.
"Shit!"
*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
* * *
Ranma held her close, her face buried in his manly chest.
"Oh Ranma," she said, and gently nuzzled his neck.
He held her tighter.
Ukyo worked her way up to his ear, nibbling on it gently.
He started to moan.
Then his face changed...
Ukyo looked up to his eyes, confused. "Ryoga?!?!"
*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
*
Ukyo woke up. She was asleep next to Ryoga.
"EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!" *POW*
* * *
Ryoga slept a dreamless sleep. Then things got unexpectedly erotic.
He dreamed of Ukyo, in a negligee. Ukyo? Hm. He shrugged in his dream,
guessing that maybe he was over Akane after all. She leaned on him ever
so closely and nuzzled his neck, worked her way up, and gently nibbled on
his ear.
What a dream. So realistic too....
"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" *POW*
Suddenly, he was flying. That's funny. He never dreamed of flying before.
Boy, when that Ukyo puts her lips on a guy...
* * *
A slightly charred Ryo and Happosai hopped across the nighttime skies of
downtown Tokyo, exchanging blows and insults. Ranma-chan and Akane were in
pursuit, wanting to get their hands on either one.
Happosai dashed across a skyscraper rooftop but tripped on the landing.
Ryo saw the opening and aimed the sharp tip of his umbrella downwards. "NOW
OLD MAN, YOU DIE! *OOF*"
Ryo was knocked clumsily off his trajectory by something heavy. He landed
past Happosai and created a small crater in the roof. "What the... _you_"
Ryoga, dazed and confused, looked around. "You!"
"What do you think you're doing?!?!? Idiot! I had the old wretch in my
sights and YOU-""
*WHAM* "Shut up." Ryoga was sleepy, tired, and in no mood for Kuno-esque
rants and raves. He shambled forward and stepped on something.
"Ow!" Happosai croaked. He grabbed Ryoga's leg and slammed him into the
pavement.
"That's it! I-" *WHAM* Ryoga was slammed forward, his head propelled by
Ranma's feet. His own feet scrambled violently, knocking Happosai into a
cement wall.
"Oops. Sorry 'bout that, Ryoga."
"Ranmaaa! How DARE you!"
"Hey! It was an accident! I was jumpin' already, YOU got in the way!"
"Hey!" yelled Akane, landing violently on Ranma's head with her feet, "Cut
it out already!"
Happosai had enough. It was time to stop fooling around. He had been
abused and kicked around enough for one night, and it was time to put an end
to it. "FOOLS! WITNESS THE ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS SECRET ATTACK!" The
pint-size pervert glowed brightly and began to grow in size. It wasn't just
his battle aura either.
Ryo was confused. "You're going to run away?"
Ranma-chan, Akane, and Ryoga scrambled back in panic. They'd seen
Happosai's enlarged battle aura before, but this was different. The old
man's aura wasn't growing. _He_ was growing.
"Hey, Ranma?" asked Ryoga.
"What?!"
"Saotome Anything Goes Secret Technique?" (6)
"Good idea."
Ryo spat into his hands and readied his umbrella. It was going to be one of
_those_ nights. Well, that was just fine for him. Ryo hadn't gotten into a
serious fight in a long while. He was way overdue and needed to take his
stress out on somebody.
He notied with surprsing calm that even though Happosai was growing, his
clothes weren't shredding. In fact, they were growing too...
Weird.
Oh well. Time to kill.
"DIEEEEEEEEE!!!"
===============
=AFTERMATH=
===============
[6:00am]
Ukyo wondered what she'd say to Ryoga when he got back. She didn't plan on
falling asleep in his sleeping bag. She certainly didn't think she'd end up
cuddling next to him either. The whole situation was just...
She needed a distraction.
Ukyo turned on the television. Morning tv usually isn't promising, but
at least it took her mind off the problem.
///A crisis of gigantic proportions here this morning in downtown Tokyo-///
"Whoa..." She was shocked at what she was seeing.
...
Several blocks away, Ryoga stumbled towards Ucchan's. He knew it was around
here somewhere. At this moment he was grateful to be alive, and with all his
limbs intact.
* * *
It was another fine day in the Tendo household. Kasumi was up early getting
the breakfast meal ready, Nabiki was just waking up, and Genma... was looking
for Ranma.
"Where is that boy?! He's missing our morning sparring session!" he yelled,
as he entered the main room.
Soun ran up frantically and grabbed Soun by the shoulders. "Saotome!
Akane's missing!"
As if on cue, a very tired, somewhat dusty looking Akane entered through the
front door. Her hair and clothes were a mess.
"Akane! Where have you been?" asked Soun.
Ranma entered the house. He was slightly dusty, his clothes were all in
disarray. He stretched and yawned.
Soun and Genma cast a quick glance and an evil grin. Ranma and Akane out
all night? Their clothing in a mess? Tired as if they were busy all night?
Suddenly, they stood behind their children, holding their shoulders, and
tossed confetti. "Oh Saotome! It's good to see our children getting along
once again!"
"Yes Tendo, it is indeed!"
"My daughter is all grown up! Waaaagh!" Soun wailed.
Ranma frowned. He would, under normal circumstances, prefer to toss his
dad into the pond. Unfortunately, he was just too tired to do that. He
glanced over at Akane. It looked like she was in the same predicament.
"Mm," said Ranma, and he pointed towards the heart of downtown Tokyo.
"Eh? What's that you're saying?" asked Soun.
"Mm." Akane pointed her thumb in that direction too, hoping that would
answer everyone's questions.
They both trudged upstairs to get some well deserved rest. Genma and Soun
looked to where they had pointed.
"Saotome."
"Tendo."
"We're moving to China."
"Yes. Good idea. As soon as possible."
* * *
Ryo Muhoshin crawled into his apartment, ragged and out of energy.
He'd given it his all. He'd done his best. There was no shame in his retreat.
"Hey, bro, where've ya been?" asked Ryoko.
"Urg."
"What happened to ya? You look like you've been fighting Ryoga again."
"Worse."
It wasn't a good night for Ryo. He'd lost his big score at the Mendo
Tech, at the Kuno Mansion, got beaten silly, and lost a damn fine umbrella.
"Cool! Gimmie the details!"
"No talk sleep now." was the best Ryo could offer in reply.
"Fine. Be that way."
Megane passed by, noticed Ryo on the floor, and said, "so you got your
ass kicked again, did you?"
"Shaddup."
Ryo was content. He was alive, right?
He strongly felt that he ought to leave this town. It seemed to be
hazzardous for his health.
Or at least find a better line of work.
For now, Ryo was "home", and he was content to just fall asleep on the
floor, right there, right now.
* * *
Commander Ichiwara was in a panic. "Get the tank divisions lined up over
here! Call the general and tell him we need those damn airstrikes! Get those
electro-discharge dishes in place! Dammit men move it move it move it!!!"
Not since those damn giant monsters crashed into town had he ever seen such
a horrible threat to Japan.
The creature, as tall as an average skyscraper in downtown Tokyo, had
devastated half of the downtown area already. It crushed several divisions of
tanks already and had swatted down two squadrons of fighter planes as well.
He hoped that the new anti-monster system developed after the disaster of
Godzilla would prove effective.
What it _looked_ like was absurd. A hideously mutated old man, resembling
a troll somewhat, and wearing an even bigger negligee. The damn thing kept on
roaring something unintelligable that came out sounding like "BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAHH!!!" or sometimes "PAAAAAANNNNTIIIIEESS!!" Luckily, it had stopped its
rampage and was apparently molesting a gigantic billboard with a lingerie-clad
girl on it.
Ichiwara shook his head. Who knows what that thing was. Atomic accident
gone wrong? Mutant? Ancient race of cross-dressing giants that had so far
been hidden from mankind? He took a drag from his cigar and pondered the
mysteries of life.
"SWEEEEEEEEETTTTTOOOOO!!!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
===========
=footnotes=
===========
1- normal normal is entirely different than Nerima
Normal, which would under normal standarts NOT
be normal, but instead alarmingly abnormal.
2- Kasumi was possesed by a rather wimpy demon
in a manga story. It oughta become an OVA
or something like that soon...
3- Cutey Honey: heroine magical girl. As with any magical girl, she
has an incredible amout of nakedness going on during her costume
changes. Maybe they plan it, maybe they don't but the result of this
is usually a dazed opponent.
4- destroyed in "The More Things Change" part 7
5- A mass melee involving bombs, gas mains, electrical lines, a truck full
of fuel, a Mech, and several other people.
see "The More Things Change" - Epilogue
6- the technique is seperated into three parts: evasion,
contemplation, and execution. In its most simple definition,
it could be defined as such: "RUN AWAY!!!"