At 04:18 AM 02/03/96 PST, you wrote:

AlberCrombie

IS THERE A CLERIC ON THE LIST?

Ash: (tapping Gopher on the shoulder) I believe that I can provide the 
services that you require.

Gopher: Ummm....  who are you?

Ash: My name is Ash. I live in Fozzy Bear's e-mail.

Gopher: I thought you were a dragon.

Ash: I am. A human fits more easily through doors like that (points to door 
behind Gopher) than would a dragon.

Gopher: True. (notices the package Ash is carrying) What's that?

Ash: Just a wedding present. It's a cross between a spatula and an Acme Hand 
Buzzer (tm). I hope they like it.

Gopher: Probably the most unusual gift they will ever get. Anyways, if 
you're going to officiate at the wedding, I would like to know what clerical 
qualifications you have.

Ash: Well, I _have_ been a cleric of Kalzareinad (a draconic deity of magic 
in the Forgotten Realms) for more than three hundred years... and I won't 
ask for an exorbitant fee.

Gopher: What would you charge?

Ash [morphing into a smaller version of his dragon form]: A strawberry-mint 
six-layer cake with ten gallons of orange sherbert ice cream should be good 
enough.

Gopher: It would be a shame to let it go to waste...

Ash: [gulp] An awful [chew] shame... [swallow]

[There is a loud sound of thunder and a puff of smoke as a new character
appears.  When the smoke clears, it is seen to be a large, red and blue dragon.]

Dragon: I am Delric, Elder Dragon by virtue of being infused with the
Dragons' blood!  What seems to be the problem here?

Ash: Problem? [Munch, munch]

Delric: [To Gopher] Why, you KNAVE!  Trying to poison a noble creature like
a dragon with your noxious spells and chemicals! [Prepares to roast the gopher.]

Gopher: Um... Who ARE you?

Delric: You have not heard tell of Delric the Great? Of Delric the Powerful?

[Ash and Gopher shake their heads.]

Delric: Perhaps you know me in this form. [He morphs into a Gandalf-type
wizard.]

[Ash and Gopher shake their heads.]

Delric: I have a bad feeling about this.  [Turns to Ash] Kind dragon, will
you tell me what realm I find myself in?

Ash: You're on the fanfic ML.

[Delric blushes a deep red.]

Delric: Fanfic... ML? [Gulp.] So sorry.  I apologize for having bothered you.

Gopher: Huh?

Delric: Wrong newsgroup.  Sorry.  [With that, he vanishes in another puff of
technicolor smoke and teleports back to alt.fan.dragons...]

-Christopher Willmore
 [Delric used with permission of Robert Marks]

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