Subject: Re: [FanFic] Symphony of the Planets: Moon and Earth.
From: "Ranma al'Thor <ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>" <ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>
Date: 3/2/1996, 1:17 AM
To: fanfic@tendo-dojo.ranma.net

On Sat, 2 Mar 1996, Julian Fong wrote:

	I'm a little disappointed by this story; it doesn't seem to be on
par with the previous two stories in the series.  There isn't the same depth
of insight into Usagi or Mamoru's characters here as there has been for Ami
and Makoto.  I found the crossover cameos to be just too distracting.

I suppose the problem is that I switched tones.  Each of the stories has 
a different tone to it.  

Ami's story is about the dark night of the soul (not her soul, but that 
is the tone.)  

Makoto's story is intended to be a slice of life story.  Very low key, 
nothing major happens, except she learns a little more about Naru and 
Umino.  

Usagi and Mamoru got the humor story.  There is some serious stuff, but 
I intended this to be the funniest story.    

Venus will be a story of romance (and skiing)

And Mars is a story about ancestor worship, neglected ghosts, and 
spiritual warfare.

Each of these stories started with a mental image...Ami on the roof with 
Rumiko, Umino spilling his heart to Makoto, Usagi and Tuxedo Kamen 
fleeing a mob at the end of a disaster date, Rei confronting an angry 
old ghost with only her spiritual abilites to protect her, Minako 
discovering she's been lied to by someone she cares about and storming 
out into the snow.

I hope you enjoy the remaining two more than this one.

 > 	I take it you don't like Usagi very much, John?  
Actually, I do like Usagi.  At the same time, she's also the most 
effective character for comic purposes.  Most of the time, she seems 
worthless....she comes through in subtle ways, not blatant ways, for her 
friends.  This is not a story where she shines, I'll admit.  Yes, she is 
being played for laughs....I have some serious ideas in mind for her, but 
that is being saved for a future, much longer story...



I'm not that fond
of her myself, but I think the most important aspect of her character is her
ability to engage the audience's sympathy, and this story doesn't convey
that very well.

I have to admit to playing her for laughs.  Although I'd hope that her 
problems with her mother could arouse some sympathy.  It's hard to convey 
that aspect of her, except in the right situations, which don't come up 
in this story....


 
	The way by which Luna and Rei reacted to Usagi's mother's opinion of
Ami seemed to be a little extreme, considering that it's not a terribly
far-fetched concept.

That AMI is corrupting Usagi?  I can't see how anyone who knows Ami could 
actually believe that...

Thanks for the feedback.  Good negative criticism is rare.

 John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. 
Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu   http://falcon.cc.ukans.edu/~ranma/index.html 
"Love is the image you place around your significant other, and how close 
it is to being true love depends on how closely he or she fits into 
the mold."--Orlando de La Cruz