From: Neoculture, aubry.thonon@qed.qld.gov.au
Sheridan: Have Zeta Squadron put on stand-by. If these ships get too
close before moving off, I want them turned into plasma.
This doesn't quite ring true. [...] Two
hours would seem like plenty of time to scramble enough fighters and
shuttles to pull the ships away from the station -- assuming the ships
aren't *huge*.
Those ships *are* huge (at least the REF and Meltran ship are, with the
Mordred at ~1.5 Km in length and the Meltran ship ~4Km) The Invid ship
is small by comparison. WHich is why I didn't consider it possible for
"nudging" by outside forces.
Hmmm. I'll grant that... but it probably should be acknowledged, at least
on the B5 side. Perhaps something like this:
"Can we scramble enough ships to push them away from the station if we
have to?"
"Negative. We might be able to help one ship, but not all three. They're
just too big, and we don't have enough ships."
I just find it hard to accept that the B5 crew would decide to blow them
up without making some attempt to solve the problem another way. :)
Which brings up another thought... I'd expect to see more attempts at
communication from B5, even if the attempts weren't answered.
(I admit I'm not familiar with your three ships; I haven't
read [or found] any of your earlier stories. Gomen.)
And previous stories can be found at FTP.STD.COM (plug, plug)
All right, all right... plug accepted. :) What are the titles?
who questions the order. Maybe this will prompt the others
to obey.
Again, I'm not familiar with the ships or your characters; but it doesn't
seem quite in Zentraedi character to simply abandon ship without making
*some* attempt to save her. I'd also expect some discussion of what their
situation will be after they abandon ship -- do they expect B5 to rescue
them, and what will they do to build back up again? (This is another
point that might be answered by the earlier stories -- if the Zentraedi
are working together with the Mordred, they might be expecting
rescue/help from them.)
Hmm, lets see if I can explain this without giving too much away.
A proper zentraedi fight invovles going down with the ship. Repairing
the ship does not even come into consideration unless we are talking
minor repairs, the Zents just simply ignore the damage until such a time as
they can go into a repair facility. The Meltran captain is abandoning
ship, which is something a Zent would normally not consider, and is
questioned about it. By this time, most Zentraedi have been tainted to
some degree by contact with the humans, and this is reflected in the
captain's explanation.
Hmm. I admit my major exposure to Robotech is the McKinney novels, and
I've already seen that most people here don't consider them canonical.
^_^ Certainly they're presented in the novels as not being able to repair
the ships themselves... but if they have been "tainted" by contact with
humans, I'd expect them to pick up at least the desire to repair, if only
so they can fight longer. ;> I just find it hard to accept they'd put
themselves at such a disadvantage so easily; I'd expect them to fight to
the last minute to save the ship, since losing it puts them at someone
else's mercy.
and yes, you are right... The zentraedi *are* expecting outside help once
they abandoned their ship - but not from Bab5... it's just a convenient
staging area. more as the story develops.
Ah-heh. I see. <evil g>
Garibaldi: Oh no, Londo. I'm not lending you any money.
This exchange sounds like something out of B5's first or early second
season -- by the third season their relationship is *very* strained
(remember the scene between them when Londo returns to B5 in "The Long,
Twilight Struggle"?), and Londo wouldn't need to borrow money (remember
Londo paid Garabaldi back when his fortunes had improved, as a friendly
gesture?). This bit might work better if you set it back in that period,
depending on what you have planned with the Shadows.
Hmmm, I haven't seen any third series yet (I just got the first few
episodes last night - gimme time ^_^ ) so all of these interactions are
speculation. Londo *didn't* ask for money, I just took it as an
automatic reaction from Garibaldi.
There are two main episodes I'd look at, both from Season 2. "Acts of
Sacrifice" is where you see how Londo's status has changed among the
Centauri -- he's now a VIP, but the other Centauri just value him for the
favors he can grant. He tries to get Garibaldi to sit down for a friendly
drink, but Garibaldi acts curt with him until Londo explains how he
doesn't have anyone to really share his good fortune with -- except
Garibaldi. Good character bits. "The Long, Twilight Struggle" is the
climax of the Narn-Centauri war -- and when Londo comes back to B5 from
the Centauri homeworld, Garibaldi meets him looking very grim.
I might have to change all that.
Might not be a bad idea -- at the least, you could set it earlier in the
story, when Londo was still a more-or-less comical figure, not the dark
figure we see after "Coming of Shadows."
I'd drop this scene completely; Kosh doesn't sound right, and you could
probably get the same effect simply picking up with Sheridan coming back
from talking to Kosh.
I think I'll follow that suggestion. I wasn't very happy with the scene
in the first place. Let's face it - the only good Kosh around is
Ardwright Chamberlain. ^_-
Indeed. <wry g> I've tried several times to write a good Kosh scene, and
never came up with something that sounded right.
I'm sorry, this is all sounding like criticism, and I don't intend it
that way; I really like B5, I appreciate how difficult it is to write in
that work, and I admire you for trying. :>
And I'll keep trying until I get it right. Oh well, only two (three?)
more Bab-5 chapters before I move on to another setting... Robo-Files,
anyone? ^_^
Not. ;>
Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
<http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)
..Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.