Yes, yet another what-if story! This one's a bit more original, though. I
hope you like it. By the way, Rumiko Takahashi created the Ranma 1/2 series
and shares the copyrights with various publishers.
Childhood's End
(scene: Several months after Nodoka accepted Ranma's curse in volume 36.
The family has reunited, living under her roof. It's a nice, calm Sunday
morning. A lovely sunrise can be seen. Cologne and Dr. Tofu are talking in
his office.)
COLOGNE: "Can I leave these things in your office? My great-granddaughter
needs the space at home for her own stuff."
TOFU: "Sure, no problem. By the way, how's she doing?"
COLOGNE: "Pretty well. In fact, I think she's using some of those potions
right now."
(scene: The same time, in Nodoka's back yard. It's nice and quiet. Only a
few singing birds can be heard.)
GENMA: (Yells from inside the house.) "Good morning!" (Throws Ranma through
the window into the yard.)
RANMA: "Ha! We moved, remember? There's no pond here!"
GENMA: "So?" (Throws a bucket of cold water at Ranma.)
RANMA-CHAN: "AAARGH!" (Wanders around the yard, then sees her mother lying
unconscious on the grass.) "AAARGH!"
NODOKA: "...zzz...." (Wakes up.) "Hi, Ranko. What are you doing here?"
RANMA-CHAN: "I'm...I'm just visiting. Are you okay?"
NODOKA: "Don't worry, I'm fine. Have you seen my son anywhere?"
RANMA-CHAN: "No, sorry."
NODOKA: "That's okay. I hope he's not doing anything girly, or..." (She
draws her finger across her neck, then goes inside.)
SHAMPOO: (Appears, holding bottles of the amnesia formula and its
antidote.) "Marry me and I fix all her memory."
RANMA-CHAN: "Just leave my mom alone!"
SHAMPOO: "Fine, suit yourself." (Leaves.)
(scene: A short while later, at the Tendos' front door. Ranma-chan and
Genma, as a panda, are standing outside and pounding on the door.)
SOUN: (Opens the door. He's half-awake.) "IT IS FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE
MORNING! What do you want?!"
GENMA: (sign) SHE FORGOT EVERYTHING. CAN WE MOVE BACK AND HIDE OUT HERE?
SOUN: (Yawns.) "Can't you just tell her again? She didn't make you kill
yourselves last time."
GENMA: (sign) SHE REALLY MEANS IT THIS TIME!
SOUN: "Okay. I guess you can stay."
AKANE: "You JERK!" (Beats Ranma-chan over the head with the mallet.)
RANMA-CHAN: "AAARGH! THAT HURTS!"
AKANE: "That's for old times' sake. Welcome back!" (Hugs Ranma-chan.)
(scene: The Tendos' living room, at noon. Everything seems back to normal.)
KASUMI: "Hello!" (Splashes Ranma with a bucket of water.)
RANMA-CHAN: "What was that for?"
KASUMI: "Your mom will be here any second now."
NODOKA: (Walks into the room) "Hi everyone!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Hi, Nodoka."
NODOKA: "Ranko, can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?" (They go to the
guest room.)
RANMA-CHAN: "How are you?"
NODOKA: "I'm fine. Kasumi told me about what happened the other day."
(flashback: Two months earlier. Akane and Ranma-chan are in the schoolyard
for gym class.)
RANMA-CHAN: "...and you're flat and I'm not! Nyah nyah nyah!"
AKANE: "Shut up, creep! My chest is NOT FLAT!"
RANMA-CHAN: "So what? I'm still more womanly that you are!"
AKANE: (Looks down, at Ranma-chan's shorts.) "Ha! You're right!"
RANMA-CHAN: "What the...." (Looks down too.) "EEEEEEWWW, YUCK!"
KUNO: "Fear not, pigtail girl! For once, this is NOT a spell of the foul
monster Ranma!..."
RANMA-CHAN: "I AM Ranma, you stupid idiot!"
KUNO: "...Indeed, your womanhood has just blossomed! I wish I could
imagine the bonds with nature that you now feel!..."
AKANE: (thinks) How tacky. How stupid. How embarrassing. (Smiles.) "Kuno,
you're doing wonders for her self-esteem!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Don't encourage him!"
KUNO: "...I am? Great! Well, pigtail girl, it must be wonderful having
this amazing cycle be so central to your life!..."
AKANE: (whispers) "Of course, you better not carry on like this when I
start...."
RANMA-CHAN: "AARGH! KUNO! SHUT UP!" (Kicks Kuno into the sky.)
(end flashback)
NODOKA: "Since none of the other girls around here have their periods yet,
Kasumi thought you could ask me if you need any advice."
RANMA-CHAN: "Thanks."
NODOKA: "Actually, you seem to be growing faster than any other girl around
here, so I thought...."
RANMA-CHAN: "Yes?"
NODOKA: "Would you marry my son? Akane's nice, but you're just the most,
well, mature girl here. Please? It means a lot to me."
RANMA-CHAN: (thinks) No no no no no. Very very very BAD idea.
NODOKA: (Looks at Ranma-chan.) "Please, Ranko?" (Almost cries.)
RANMA-CHAN: (thinks) Mom.... (whispers) "Well...okay."
NODOKA: "Thank you!" (Hugs Ranma-chan. They go to the living room.)
(scene: The Saotomes, Shampoo, the Tendos, and Ukyou are in the living
room.)
NODOKA: "Hey everyone! I'd like to announce that Ranko and my son are now
engaged! I'm going to China to try to find him, so as soon as I
return they can get married! Bye now!" (Leaves.)
AKANE: "Ha ha ha...awwww, you'll be a lovely bride!"
RANMA-CHAN: "IT'S NOT FUNNY!" (Splashes herself with a teapot full of hot
water.)
UKYOU: "Well, who will you marry? You'd better decide soon."
RANMA: "I don't know. I don't want to marry anyone yet!"
UKYOU: "How many more years do you expect me to wait?!" (Pounds Ranma with
the giant spatula.)
SHAMPOO: "Rules are rules! Ignore stupid girl!" (Attacks with both
bonbori.)
KODACHI: (Bursting into the room.) "HAHAHAHAHA! Don't listen to them! I'M
really your fiancee!" (Lashes Ranma with the ribbon.)
AKANE: "You CREEP!" (Jumps into the fray with the mallet.)
RYOGA: (Wanders into the room.) "You ruined my life, etc.! Ranma, prepare
to die!"
AKANE: "Hi Ryoga! You can pummel Ranma after I'm done."
RANMA: "EVERYONE! WAIT! I CAN EXPAIN! AAAAAAIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
(scene: An hour later. The girls finally back off. Ranma then jumps off
the floor.)
RANMA: (Splashes himself with a bucket of water.) "I'M SICK OF THIS! FROM
NOW ON, I'M REALLY A GIRL! I WON'T CHANGE BACK UNTIL YOU LEAVE ME
ALONE!"
GENMA: (sign) DO YOU MEAN IT?
RANMA-CHAN: (whispers) "Of course not, Dad. I don't want to be a girl, but
I'm going to stay female until they give up these engagements."
GENMA: (sign) EVEN THE ONES I ARRANGED? UNGRATEFUL BRAT! (Whacks
Ranma-chan over the head with the sign.)
KODACHI: "AARGH! Evil pigtail girl, what did you do to Ranma?!" (Attacks
Ranma-chan all over again.)
RYOGA: "Yay! My turn!" (Starts pounding Ranma-chan.)
(scene: Half an hour later, in Dr. Tofu's office.)
RANMA-CHAN: "...and then Kodachi tied my arms and threw me across the room
and then as soon as I got up Shampoo knocked me over with one of
those bonbori and then Akane punched me in the face and then
Ukyou jumped on my stomach and then...."
TOFU: "I'll get some painkiller medicine."
KASUMI: (Walks into the room.) "Hi!"
TOFU: "Hi Kasumi!" (Reaches into the refrigerator.) "Here, drink this."
(Hands Ranma-chan one of Cologne's bottles.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Drinks the bottle's contents.) "Eeeww."
(scene: A while later. It's another quiet morning. Everyone's in the
kitchen eating breakfast.)
KASUMI: "Want some cereal?"
RANMA-CHAN: "No thanks. I'm not feeling well."
SOUN: "What's wrong? You're always sick during breakfast, and you crave
that day-glo noodle junk the rest of the day, and you haven't even
turned male since...."
RANMA-CHAN: "I just really like day-glo noodles, that's all."
KASUMI: "You should see a doctor, just in case you're contagious."
NABIKI: "Dad, I'll let you quarantine her in the basement for 100,000 yen!"
AKANE: "Ranma's not sick! She's just finally learned that MY COOKING IS NOT
JUNK!"
SOUN: "YOU were cooking that stuff? No wonder it was so bright."
(scene: Later that morning, in Dr. Tofu's office.)
TOFU: "...and so you think you're sick?"
RANMA-CHAN: "Maybe that medicine you gave me was the wrong one. I mean, it
probably has weird side effects."
TOFU: (Gets that bottle out of the refrigerator.) "Uh oh."
RANMA-CHAN: "What? What's wrong?"
TOFU: "You're right, but...well, you don't actually have a disease."
RANMA-CHAN: (Reads the bottle's label.) "AAAAAAAARGH...." (Runs away.)
(Time passes. With her favorite photography subject gone, Nabiki learns to
draw instead. Otherwise, everything pretty much stays the same. Especially
the relationships. Some people never learn.)
(scene: Late one night. The rest of the Tendos are asleep, but Nabiki and
Akane are awake and talking in Nabiki's room. Akane is wearing a wedding
kimono.)
NABIKI: "...why are you wearing THAT again?! Ranma's been gone for more
than half a year!"
AKANE: "So he'll be back here any minute. I'll marry him before the other
girls even know he's returned! He WILL be back any minute, won't
he?..." (Starts crying.)
NABIKI: "Don't cry." (Hugs Akane.) "I know this has been really hard on you.
Here, have a tissue. It's only 500 yen this time."
AKANE: (Hears a knock on the door.) "Maybe that's him now!" (Takes a lamp.)
"Just in case he still thinks he's a girl." (Takes a mallet too, and
goes downstairs.)
(scene: The Tendos' living room. It's really dark. Only Akane is visible,
because of the lamp light.)
AKANE: (Opens the door.) "Hi!" (Can't see Ranma-chan, because it's too
dark.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Sees the mallet.) "Aargh!" (thinks) She wants to hit me! (Sees
the kimono.) "Aargh!" (thinks) She's trying to marry me! Even
worse! (Runs upstairs and locks herself in the nearest room.)
AKANE: (Follows Ranma-chan upstairs.) "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" (Hits the door.
No luck.) "Can someone get Shampoo here?"
NABIKI: "Okay." (Leaves, and returns a few minutes later with Shampoo.)
SHAMPOO: "So, Ranma there? Why I let silly bride wannabe in?"
AKANE: "If you don't, neither of us can reach him. Please?"
SHAMPOO: (Sighs.) "Okay." (Breaks through the wall with a bonbori, then
turns the light on.)
SOUN: (Bursts into tears.) "WAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY HOUSE!"
RANMA-CHAN: (Now visible. She looks a bit bigger.) "Don't hurt me!"
GENMA: (sign) SON! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?!
AKANE: "You CREEP! How could you just leave me?!" (Beats Ranma-chan with
the mallet.)
RANMA-CHAN: "I was too embarrassed to stay- Ow!..." (Fends off Akane's
blows.) "Ouch!...Stop it!...Ow!..."
AKANE: "You DESERVE it!..." (Swings the mallet at Ranma-chan's belly, but
misses by half an inch.)
RANMA-CHAN: "TENDO AKANE, PREPARE TO DIE!" (Hits Akane in the face.)
AKANE: "What's wrong with you? I thought you don't attack girls!" (Knocks
Ranma-chan over with a blow to the knees.)
RANMA-CHAN: "Die! Die! Die!" (Gets up and grabs Akane's throat.)
AKANE: "No way! I'll kill you first!" (Punches, then kicks, Ranma-chan.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Steps back.) "I hate you!" (Throws a fireball at Akane, but
misses and sets the wall on fire.)
SOUN: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY POOR HOUSE!"
NABIKI: "Wow, neither of them have changed their fighting abilities after
all this time."
AKANE: "I hate you too! The engagement's OVER!" (Jumps up and kicks
Ranma-chan.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Catches Akane, punches her, and pulls her downward.) "What
the-" (Akane flips over so that she's above Ranma-chan.)
"AAAAAARGH!"
(scene: Early the next morning. It's a nice, bright, sunny day but Akane
and Ranma-chan are still ruining it for everyone else.)
NABIKI: (Wanders back into the room.) "I couldn't sleep because you two were
fighting all night." (Yawns.) "Is someone dead yet?"
AKANE: "...Finally!" (Pins Ranma-chan onto the floor, on her side, and
pummels her.)
RANMA-CHAN: "Get OFF me!" (Tries to get up, but can't.) "Ouch, that hurts!"
SOUN: "You'd better have a really GOOD excuse."
RANMA-CHAN: "I made a choice to keep the baby, and then Akane tried to make
me lose it!"
AKANE: "WHERE? What baby?"
KASUMI: (Walks into the room.) "Hi Ranma-chan! When's it due?"
RANMA-CHAN: "A few days, unless...." (Glares at Akane.) "I didn't want to
get pregnant, but now that it's on the way...I love this baby."
AKANE: (Releases Ranma-chan.) "Oh, THAT. Look, I'm really sorry...I mean, I
thought you were a BOY...I didn't know...."
RANMA-CHAN: "I'm really sorry too."
GENMA: (sign) HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
RANMA-CHAN: "Dr. Tofu got distracted again and gave me a magic drink instead
of painkiller medicine and if a girl drinks it she gets-"
AKANE: "That's the DUMBEST story I've ever heard in my life!"
KASUMI: "It's no dumber than amnesia shampoos, time travel mirrors, love
spices, cursed wells...."
COLOGNE: (Walks into the room.) "It's true. My granddaughter tried to have
children for years, with no luck. Then, when she drank that stuff,
she conceived. Relax, your baby will turn out fine, just like hers
did." (Everyone looks at Shampoo, who isn't paying attention.)
SHAMPOO: "DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" (Attacks Akane with a bonbori.)
GENMA: (sign) WHAT A RELIEF. I HAD IMAGINED MUCH WORSE.
RANMA-CHAN: "You mean...you thought I...that's DISGUSTING! I'm a VIRGIN!"
AKANE: "So, why did you come back after all this time?"
RANMA-CHAN: "I don't want to talk about it."
NABIKI: "Kasumi, what do you think will happen if she touches hot water?"
KASUMI: "I don't think about that kind of thing, and frankly, neither should
you."
(scene: The next day, in the Tendos' living room. Soun and Ranma-chan are
quietly reading the newspaper.)
AKANE: (Walks into the room with a teapot.) "Would anyone like some tea?"
SOUN: "No thanks...I'm not thirsty...really...."
AKANE: "YOU JUST THINK I CAN'T COOK! It's just TEA! I can make TEA without
anything going wrong!"
SOUN: "But I'm not thirsty!"
AKANE: "Shut up and drink it!" (They run out of the room. On the way out,
Akane drops the teapot. It bounces towards Ranma-chan.)
RANMA-CHAN: "AAAAAARGH!" (Faints, and then gets splashed by the tea.)
(scene: An hour later. Ranma is still in the living room, unconscious.)
RANMA: "...ow...zzzzz...."
RYOGA: (Wanders into the room.) "Hey, the jerk is back!"
RANMA: "...zzzzzz...ouch...zzz...ow, quit it...zzzz...."
RYOGA: (Pokes Ranma's belly.) "There's something moving in there!"
(whispers) "Can you kick your mommy really, really hard?"
RANMA: "OUCH!...zzz...."
RYOGA: "Awwww, how cute!"
RANMA: (Wakes up.) "You don't need to kick so hard! I already know you're
in there! Oh, hi Ryoga...AAIIEEEEE! I'M A BOY!" (Splashes himself
with a bucket of water.) "That felt so weird...like I still had a
womb after everything else changed. Ouch! At least the baby's still
kicking."
RYOGA: "I think it'll be okay. What happened last time you switched?"
RANMA-CHAN: "This was the first time since I got pregnant."
RYOGA: "REALLY?...By the way, does this mean you're not engaged to Akane
anymore?..."
(scene: Early the next morning, in Nabiki's room.)
NABIKI: (Wakes up and opens her wallet.) "SOME JERK TOOK EVERYTHING!" (Sees
a note fall out of the wallet.)
NOTE: "I borrowed the money for boat fare. You people are insane, so I'm
having the baby in China instead. Bye."
NABIKI: "What a creep...she really owes me....HEY EVERYONE! WE'RE GOING TO
CHINA!..."
(scene: One morning a week later, near Jusenkuyo. Ranma-chan's standing
outside the cottage where the Jusenkuyo guide lives.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Knocks on the door.) "Hi. Can I come in?"
GUIDE: "You again? Sure, Ranma." (Opens the door.) "What on earth did
you...?"
RANMA-CHAN: "Look, I need a place to stay for a wh- AAARGH! Not NOW!"
GUIDE: (Leads Ranma-chan to his bedroom.) "You can use my bed. Stay here
and try to relax. I'll get help." (Leaves.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Staying there and trying to relax.) "...owwww...."
(scene: Outside the cottage again, a few hours later.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Yells from inside.) "AAAAAAAARGH!"
GUIDE: "...and I can't believe I found you. Your kid really needs help.
Just go inside."
RANMA-CHAN: (Yells from inside again.) "AAAAIEEEEEEEEEEE! HELP!"
NODOKA: "Okay." (thinks) Poor thing. (They go inside, to the bedroom.) "WHAT
THE...?!"
RANMA-CHAN: "MOM! AAIEEEE! See, there's this curse...."
NODOKA: "I know, whatever it is, it's not your fault. But how-"
RANMA-CHAN: "AAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
NODOKA: "Okay, spare me the details. Just push a bit harder now...."
(scene: The Jusenkuyo cursed wells, several hundred feet away from the
cottage.)
MOUSSE: "I'm saved!" (Tries to jump in the Well of Drowned Guy.)
GENMA: (sign) FORGET IT. MY SON'S FIRST IN THE QUEUE. (Whacks Mousse over
the head with the sign.)
SOUN: (Restrains Mousse.) "Good idea. We should drop Ranma in there first,
since his curse is causing the most problems."
RYOGA: "So if it's labelled wrong, he turns into some weird thing instead of
me? No problem."
UKYOU: "What if he doesn't want to change back?"
SHAMPOO: (Further away, standing at the end of a very long queue at the Well
of Drowned Girl.) "JUST THROW IN WELL ANYWAY!"
AKANE: "We'll deal with that once we find him." (Hears screams of pain in
the distance.) "What the...?"
(scene: A few hours later, back in the cottage.)
RANMA-CHAN: "...so why didn't you make me commit seppuku? AAAAAAARGH!
Doesn't that contract with Dad say we have to...?"
NODOKA: "See, if he raised a girly son or a boyish daughter, we'd all have
to kill ourselves. It was supposed to apply to our other kids too,
but then we didn't have any."
RANMA-CHAN: "Really? OUCH! Dad never told me that."
NODOKA: "But now that you're really female, I can let you live. It doesn't
matter if you...changed, because that's OVER and now we can get on
with our lives."
RANMA-CHAN: "Thanks. AAAIIEEEEEEEEE!"
NODOKA: "By the way, have you ever met Ranko? She looks just like you- hey,
wait a minute! The baby's head is showing!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Really?! OUCH! Can I see?"
NODOKA: "Sure." (Holds a mirror between Ranma-chan's knees.)
RANMA-CHAN: "Wow...AAAAAAARGH! BLOOD!"
NODOKA: (Holds a teapot full of hot water and a towel.) "If it will make you
feel better, I can wash the blood off."
RANMA-CHAN: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! NO, NOT THAT!"
NODOKA: "Whatever." (Puts away the teapot.)
RANMA-CHAN: "OUCH! I'm scared. Am I going to be okay?"
NODOKA: "Once the baby's out, you'll be fine, I think."
RANMA-CHAN: "I don't- OUCH!- get it."
NODOKA: "If you stay still, you'll heal...but if you crash into anything,
the jolt might reopen your wounds...."
RANMA-CHAN: "OUCH!"
NODOKA: "The baby's halfway out! Just push one more time!"
RANMA-CHAN: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
(scene: Back at the cursed wells. Everyone is still there. No one has
jumped in a well yet.)
RYOGA: "WHERE IS THAT CREEP?!" (Hears distant screaming.) "Hey, did anyone
else hear that?"
KASUMI: "Yes. Poor thing. I wonder who she is."
AKANE: (Listens a bit more carefully.) "...maybe that's Ranma!" (Runs in the
general direction of the noise.)
(scene: Back in the cottage, a few minutes later. Nodoka's washing the
baby. Ranma-chan just lies there, exhausted.)
BABY: "Waah...waaaah...waaah...."
RANMA-CHAN: "Ouch. That really hurt. Is the baby okay?"
NODOKA: "It's a girl!"
BABY: "Waaah!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Is the baby okay?"
NODOKA: "She's doing fine." (Holds the baby in front of Ranma-chan.) "See
for yourself." (The baby looks just like her mother. Yes, she was
born with a braid.)
BABY: "Wah." (Reaches for Ranma-chan.) "Wah."
RANMA-CHAN: "Hi...." (Hugs the baby.) "I love you...."
(scene: That queue.)
GIRL: "At last! The Well of Drowned Girl! I'll never turn into a rabbit
again!" (Runs to the well.)
SHAMPOO: "Hey! No cuts!" (Hits the girl on the head with a bonbori.)
GIRL: "DIE! DIE!" (Kicks Shampoo in the stomach several times.)
SHAMPOO: "Go away!" (Picks up the girl and throws her into the sky.)
GIRL: "You JERK!"
SHAMPOO: (Sees fifty-seven more girls ahead of her.) "Aaargh!" (thinks)
Forget it. I'll just see what everyone else is doing. (Leaves and
heads for the Well of Drowned Guy.)
(scene: Inside the cottage again. By now, Ranma-chan has all her clothes
back on and is nursing the baby.)
NODOKA: (Sees the door open.) "Hi, Akane!"
AKANE: (Ignores Nodoka.) "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME?! WE'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR HOURS!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Awwww, isn't she cute? It's just as well that you didn't have
a baby because you'd be too flat to nur- AARGH!"
AKANE: (Splashes Ranma-chan with a teapot of hot water.) "Now who's flat?"
(Looks at the baby.) "Hi there! Awww...."
NODOKA: (thinks) Water? He must change...all...the...time.... (screams)
"You FREAK!"
BABY: (Staring at Ranma and struggling to get out of his arms.) "WAAAAH!
WAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAH...!"
RANMA: "Don't worry! It's me! I'm your mommy! Or maybe your daddy, or
something. Please, please don't think I'm two people...."
BABY: "WAAAAAAAAAH!"
RANMA: (thinks) Just great. I'll have to stay female for years.
BABY: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
RANMA: "Awwww, poor thing." (Splashes himself with a bucket of water.) "I'm
sorry I scared you."
BABY: (Calms down.) "Wah."
NODOKA: "DIE, FREAK!" (Unsheathes her katana and chases Ranma-chan outside.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Running outside and holding the baby.) "AAAAAAAAARGH!"
(scene: Late evening. A lovely sunset is ending. A large crowd has
gathered around the Well of Drowned Guy. In fact, just about everyone in
the series is there.)
RANMA-CHAN: (Running towards the crowd.) "AAAAAAAAARGH!"
NODOKA: "STAND STILL, FREAK!..."
BABY: "Waaaah!"
GENMA: (Splashes himself with a teapot of hot water.) "Nodoka, wait! As
soon as we get him in the well, he'll be normal again!"
NODOKA: "Okay." (Puts her katana away.)
BABY: "Waaaaaaah!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Are you still hungry?" (Sits down and starts nursing the baby
again.)
RYOGA: "She looks just like you, poor thing...but she's still cute."
KODACHI: "Don't you think she's adorable, Midorigame?" (The alligator
nuzzles the baby.) "Awwwww...."
GENMA: "Yuck. Son, do you have to do that in public?!"
RANMA-CHAN: "Yes."
AZUSA: "Aww, what a cute blanket!" (Grabs the blanket, with the baby still
in it, away from Ranma-chan and runs off.)
RANMA-CHAN: "GIVE MY BABY BACK!" (Tries to run after Azusa.)
UKYOU: "She's trying to get away!" (The crowd restrains Ranma-chan.)
RANMA-CHAN: "AAAAAAAAARGH! LET GO!"
(scene: A quiet spot with a lot of greenery. The Well of Drowned Guy is
within sight of this place, although a few hundred feet away. The other
wells are even more distant.)
MIKADO: "Wait!" (Catches up with Azusa.) "You can play with the blanket
later." (Takes the baby and puts her on a shrub, then returns to the
crowd with Azusa.)
(scene: The crowd, the well.)
MOUSSE: "It's about time you showed up!"
RANMA-CHAN: "But I don't want to go in that well!"
GENMA: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You've wanted to get rid of that curse
ever since you got it!"
RANMA-CHAN: "I can't switch back NOW!"
SOUN: "SHUT UP! You've caused enough trouble already! Hey, could someone
lend me a hand?" (Everyone helps Soun lift Ranma-chan and hold her
over the well.)
KUNO: "I'm afraid it's hard for me to see through the obscurity of
everyone's arms. Dear sister, just what are we doing?"
MIKADO: "Good question."
KODACHI: "You talk too much. Just shut up and help us!"
RANMA-CHAN: "PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"
KASUMI: "Don't worry, everything will work out fine. Trust me!" (They let
go and Ranma-chan falls.)
(scene: Inside the well.)
RANMA-CHAN: "AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE...." (Stops falling.) "Ouch...."
(scene: Outside the well.)
NABIKI: "I didn't hear a splash. Did you hear a splash?"
KASUMI: "No. Maybe it's a really deep well and she didn't hit the water
yet." (Looks inside the well.) "I can't see her. It's too dark."
(scene: Inside the well.)
RANMA-CHAN: "I'm still a girl! Yay!" (Gets up.) "I can't wait until I get
out of h- Uh oh." (Sits down again.) "Maybe I'd better rest a
little first." (Looks downward.) "AAAAAAARGH! BLOOD!" (thinks)
Mom said a jolt might reopen my wounds.... (Looks towards the
top of the well.) "HELP! SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
(scene: Outside the well.)
RYOGA: (Yelling into the well.) "GET OUT OF THERE! MY TURN!"
GENMA: (Also yelling into the well.) "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, SON?"
GUIDE: "Oops."
TSUBASA: "What's wrong?"
GUIDE: "That well went dry again last week. There's no water in it. She
hit solid ground!"
UKYOU: "No problem. Ranma-chan falls large distances all the time."
(scene: Inside the well, half an hour later.)
RANMA-CHAN: "...Help...I lost too much blood...I can't even scream anymore
...help...please...I'm still bleeding...help...." (thinks)
Forget it. No one's listening. (whispers) "It's not fair...all
I did was give birth...that's not supposed to kill people...."
(Collapses...and dies.)
(scene: Outside the well.)
AKANE: "What's taking her so long?" (Picks up a flashlight and shines it
down the well.) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
NABIKI: "What's wrong?" (Looks into the well.) "YUCK!" (They stare at
Ranma-chan. General panic ensues.)
KASUMI: "Calm down, everyone. We're all responsible for Ranma-chan's
death...."
GENMA: "She's right...."
NODOKA: "...WE'VE KILLED OUR ONLY SON!"
KASUMI: "There's only one thing left that any of us can do."
SOUN: "What?"
KASUMI: "This." (Takes Nodoka's katana and kills herself.)
(scene: It was a dark and stormy night. Only the lightning made the bodies
of the crowd visible. Tormented with guilt, all had taken Kasumi's advice a
few minutes before the rain started.)
BABY: (sobbing) "...waaaaaah...waaah...waaaaah...waaaaaaaaaaaaaah...."
The end.