Well, this was suposed to be a really short fanfic, but it raged out
of control. I'm not breaking it into parts cause that was a disaster the
last time I did it. Anyway, here it is, lemme know whacha think. C&C
welcome, especaily on bad grammer and spelling.
Oh yea, before I begin: The only character in this that belongs to me
is the mysterious secret character. Everything else is Takashi's. All
ideas are either mine or ripped off from Pratchett, Takashi, Monty Python,
or someone on this ML.
Matthew Trotter, ...And out come the wolves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was a bright and sunny day in Nerima . . . well actually it wasn't
bright and sunny any more, it was starting to get dim and dusky[1]. Not
that it wasn't a beautiful sunset, just that it wasn't a bright and sunny
one. Well it was sunny in as much as it was a sunset, but in comparison
to say high noon . . . Here, I'll start again.
The sun was quickly making its way across the line of the horizon,
bringing to a close another beautiful day in Nerima. All across Nerima
and, in fact, all over Tokyo itself, people watched this sun set and felt
their day was just a little better for it. There was, however, one lone
figure on a roof top that watched the setting sun with a growing sense of
despair.
Ranma watched the sun set, it marked the end of the fourth hour he'd
spent up on the roof trying to think[6]. It just wasn't working.
Akane's birthday was tomorrow and he still didn't have a gift to give
her. The only thing he knew she wanted was to see this movie, some dippy
romance that didn't really interest him, but all the shows for tomorrow
were sold out. Nabiki had said she would try to get tickets, but he
still hadn't heard back from her . . . Akane was going to kill him. He
could see the look on her face . . . that sad deep eyed look she always
got when she was about to cry. That look could make him say he was sorry
for anything. It could make him do anything to "make everything ok".
Like saving P-Chan . . . Ranma really dreaded that look. He knew she'd
look at him like that and say something like [oh, its ok. now i
know how you feel] Oh man, that would put him on a guilt trip to the
moon. . . Ranma blinked, the sun was already down? This was getting
nowhere . . .Ranma jumped off the roof and landed about a foot from
Nabiki as she casually rushed toward the house.
"Oh, Ranma, I was just looking for you."
"You were?"
Nabiki held an envelope out to him, "I think you'll find everything to
your liking."
"This isn't, is it . . . It Is! Oh man, Nabiki your a real life
saver! Uh, what do I owe you for these?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Really?"
"I'll put it on your tab."
"oh"
Nabiki smiled as she watched Ranma rush into the house, tomorrow was
going to be great. She couldn't wait for the fun to start . . .
*
[1] This was a perfectly normal phenomenon known as sun set, and, I can't
stress this enough, not due to the forces of darkness coalescing on the
dim boundaries of this plane of existance[2].
[2] Ia Ia Shub-Nigroth[3]!
[3] Sh[4]! Not yet!
[4] As in be quiet. Not to be confused with "sh", a Unix shell.[5]
[5] Foot notes rampage out of control, film at eleven.
[6] Not that Ranma normally can't think. Ok, for thought might be a new
concept to him, but thinking, in general, was something that didn't
normally vex him.
***********
Akane woke up bright and early, almost early enough to be dark and early,
but not quite. As she pulled on some sweats she began to hum a tune.
She could hardly get to sleep last night she'd been so excited. Now she
could hardly stand the suspense. Today was her birthday and she was
dying to know what Ranma would get her. He always found something that
seemed trivial, but managed to have more sentimental value than a truck
load of diamonds . . . but what would it be? A picture? A locket? I
could be almost anything, that's what she lov...uh . .LIKED, liked about
him, the ways he showed his affect. . . .er, friendship. As she jogged
down stairs Akane notice that no one but Kasumi was awake . . . odd she
would have thought her dad would be up for the morning paper . . . unless
he'd been up all night plotting with Genma. . . .no, they wouldn't do
that to her on her birthday would they? No. Akane put it out of her
mind and tried to concentrate on her morning jog.
Tetewaki Kuno, pillar of manhood, destroyer of the wicked, the blue
thunder of Furinkan High, was out for a walk. He just couldn't stand
being stuck in the house another second. Not on this day. Not on Akane
Tendo's birthday. Not when he had the perfect gift for her. Nabiki
had told him. Ah, he could remember the day well, almost as if it were a
flashback, unfortunately the author didn't plan a flashback so he was
stuck recounting the day in quick synopsis form. Nabiki had asked him to
meet her in the park at sunset. Such a beautiful place, such a beautiful
time, such a beautiful wom . .. well anyway, Nabiki had told him Akane's
birthday was today, and had, for a fee, provided the perfect gift. To
think that a single envelope could contain such joy, such triumph. That
it could defeat that womanizing evil cretin Ranma Saotome without even a
fight. It was worth any price, Tetewaki frowned at the memory of the
price . . . quite steep, even for Nabiki, but no. No price was to high
for Akane's joy . . . Akane? Was it a vision? But no, he could hear her
foot falls as she jogged toward him. No, this was the true Akane. . .
Burning away the last of the mornings muddled thoughts, like a sun, as
she jogged toward him. But jogged was a cruel and unfair word. Akane
could not jog, she flowed like strength though a muscle. She was like a
goddess of the hunt speeding silently after her prey. . . He would greet
her, arms out stretched. He would sweep her to himself and present the
gift that would make her his! He would . . . Nabiki's words came to him
like a ghost in the night, "Come and get Akane at three pm, I'll make
sure she's ready to go by then." But surely he could not wait for three
. . . No it must be now. . . . Nabiki's words floated back to him across
the gap of time . . . damn.
"Akane Tendo, your presence is like the sun itself. You burn into my
heart like the burning brand into paper. I greet you on this wondrous day."
Akane almost jumped. . . almost. Where the hell had Kuno come from,
"Oh, hello Kuno."
"To what gods shall I give thanks for granting me, that I should find
you here in the streets of the city on this fair morning?"
Akane took a step backwards into the street, Kuno was in full poetry
mode. . . you never knew what to expect from him when he was like this,
"Uh nice talking to you Kuno, but uh, I need to be getting back to the
dojo," It was about time for everyone to be getting up . . . and she
really couldn't wait to see what Ranma . . .er, Ranma AND everyone else
had gotten her for her birthday.
Tetewaki saw Akane step into the street. He heard the scream of tires as
they fought a loosing battle against friction and velocity. He saw the
car. Gold Honda Civic. '89. Dent in the passenger side tire well. The
screaming face of the driver as Akane was thrown quite literally out of
her shoes. The blood. The agonized screaming. Tetewaki blinked and the
image was gone like a trick of light, in its place was a final view of
Akane as she rounded a corner and passed out of sight. Tetewaki
blinked and shook his head. He decided he'd been reading to many
stories on alt.travisty.of.justace. Perhaps it was time to find a new
news group to read . . .
***********
A movie company that you've never heard of before but
will put out all this summers cool movies only to fade
to obscurity by fall
presents
***********
"Wake up Saotome" were the last words Ranma heard, before the bucket
full of ice cold water yanked him unkindly into a fully wakeful state.
"Nabiki! Wadija do that for?!"
"My daddy and your daddy have your gift to Akane set out on the table
for her to find."
"What? No, see I put . . . it . . . oh no," Nabiki's meaning
finally crept up on Ranma. It was The Ring. Their fathers were, for some
reason known only to them, under the impression that continually trying to
force engagement rings on Akane and herself would make them suddenly go
bowhead and get married. To date the outcomes were:
1> A fight [5 times]
2> Massive embarrassment [8 times]
3> Akane running away crying [only once thank goodness]
4> A Christmas party brawl [only once . . . so far]
Ranma leapt to her feet. She had to get down stairs before Akane got The
Ring. Not that it would fool her, just that it would make her mad and
put a big damper on the rest of the day. As she ran down the stairs
Ranma heard her pop and Soun encouraging Akane to open Ranma's gift.
***********
Another
Matthew Trotter
Fanfic
With the title in the
middle of the story
instead of at the top
where it belongs.
***********
"WAAAAAIIIIIT," screamed Ranma as she rushed into the room. Akane
had a little plain box in her hand, "That's not from me," said Ranma
snatching the box away.
"Ranma, give that back."
"No, you don't understand. _I_ didn't get this for you."
"Oh, and . . . oh." Akane's made a face that could only be described
as: a look of absolute and complete lack of surprise. The Ring. Great.
And on her birthday, "Well?"
"Well what?"
"What DID you get me?"
"Uh . . well, I .. .er . ."
"You DID remember that today is my birthday?"
Ranma didn't like where this conversation was going. It was the kind
of thing that started those "Ranma? Do I know a Ranma?" sulking bouts
that ended in a really big fight.
"Ooooh Ranma, how could you forget Akane's birthday, your her fiance
after all."
Nabiki. Just the thing to get the arguing started. A quick denial,
that would get Akane back on her side, "No I'm not!"
"Ranma," there were tears in Akane's eyes, "I can't believe you said
that! I thought today would be different!! But I can see that your just
a jerk!!! I don't care if I never see you again you . . you . . "
***********
Old Friend
***********
". . .IDIOT!!!!" Akane turned and fled before she completely
went to tears.
Ranma's heart sank like a rock. It felt like her heart was in a vice
and someone was going postal on it with an ice pick . . .
"Nice going Romeo . . ."
Ranma felt like bursting into tears herself, and here was Nabiki
pretending like she was blame free. Today was going to be the worst day
in her life, and Nabiki seemed intent on helping it along at every turn .
. . things couldn't possibly get any worse.
***********
Good morning heart ache
your like an old friend
come and see me again
-Rancid
***********
"I just can't believe Ranma. Treating Akane like that. What was he
thinking, he should know how she feels about him by now."
Nabiki sighed, Kasumi was so oblivious, "I don't think either of them
know what the other thinks."
"We should try and cheer up Akane, she's really up set about this."
"I guess we could try to get her to open the presents we got her,"
Nabiki had a feeling nothing short of Ranma sitting down and begging
forgiveness was going to help anything. Maybe she would go see if he'd
like to play nice and make up with Akane.
"Thanks for trying Kasumi, I'm sorry I'm being such a party pooper."
Kasumi put a hand on Akane's shoulder, "Its ok Akane, we understand
your a little upset."
Akane looked at the blue and white sun dress. Kasumi had a way of
finding just the thing to make Akane feel self-contious of her behavior.
Akane wished she could pull out of this depression, she was ruining the
day for everyone. She wished she hadn't yelled at Ranma. She wished
wishes could come true. Maybe if she put on the dress it would make
Kasumi feel a little better.
"Here Akane," said Nabiki putting a carefully wrapped box on the table,
"This is from me."
Akane carefully unwrapped the box, it was one of those unmarked clothing
boxes. Akane wondered what could be in it. . . Nabiki had a way of
giving you something you didn't really want, but turned out to be more
useful than anything else anyone had given you. There was some white
tissue paper, and silk? Akane pulled out the silk, it had little straps,
and . . . Akane started to blush.
"Nabiki" said Kasumi shocked, "what is that?"
"Its called a 'teddy'."
Kasumi turned a little red, "I know that, but what kind of birthday
present is that?"
"Kasumi, Akane IS engaged you know."
Akane noticed the card. A little something for your wedding night, it
said. A vision popped into her head, before she could divert her train
of thought. Akane blushed even deeper.
"Its even white, so she can wear it on the wedding night. It IS still
a white wedding isn't it Akane?"
Akane's blush deepened even more. Pre-schoolers with crayons would
have been hard pressed to obtain the shade of red Akane had reached.
If she blushed any deeper her head would probably explode from the
cumulative blood pressure. Akane couldn't even look her sisters in the
eye, much less make any sort of intelligible reply.
"er . . . uh Akane?"
Akane looked up, Ranma was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking
uncomfortable and blushing. Why was Ranma blushing . . . Akane realized
she was still holding the teddy. That pervert! Looking at her like
that! Akane made a fist and stood up.
"Akane," whispered Nabiki, "maybe you ought to let Ranma wear it on
the honeymoon."
The comment took her by surprise, again a mental image danced before
her. Akane went back to trying to beat the worlds deepest blush record.
How was she going to look at Ranma ever again . . .
"I . . .I'm uh, I'm sorry for what I said. I wasn't . . . I wasn't
thinking when I said that."
The alarm bells started going off in Akane's head. This could go
really badly if she wasn't careful . . . She didn't want to come across
as cold, but she didn't want Ranma to go all emotional on her. Not with
Nabiki and Kasumi here, "Its ok, I guess I over reacted a little."
"Um, I, I was . . "
"Its ok Ranma, I forgive you," Akane notice the envelope in Ranma's
hand. It had that crinkled look that paper got when someone had been
holding on to it for a really long time. Her heart started pounding, that
had to be Ranma's present . . . he really hadn't forgotten. Trying to
sound casually interested Akane pointed to the envelope, "Hey Ranma, what's
in the envelope?"
Ranma started to blush again, uh oh . . . what was in there to make
him blush? A horrible thought occurred to her, he, he wouldn't! He
couldn't! Not here! Not in front of everyone! If there were panties in
there she was going to kill him!!!!
"Its uh, I mean, would you . . ."
"Akane Tendo!"
Oh no! Not Kuno. Not now. Kuno flung something at her, she snatched
it out of the air. It was an envelope with her name on it. A birthday
card? Who told Kuno . . . oh who else would tell Kuno today was her
birthday. Akane turned and threw a quick scowl at Nabiki, and then
opened the envelope. Tickets? Akane looked closer, tickets to the three
thirty showing of 'Last Chance'! She had been trying to get Ranma to
take her to that for weeks! Finally she was. . . Ranma looked like he
was about to explode, "What is it Ranma?"
He hadn't thought things could get worse, but of course he was wrong.
He couldn't believe it. Kuno had tickets to the movie too. And in the
same kind of envelope too. It was just to big of a coincidence. He
glared at Nabiki. Why did she always have to stab him in the back when
he needed her help? He noticed Akane looking at him and held out the
envelope. He just stood there. He watched the look of surprise cross
her face, and then the realization of what had just happened. That's
right, he thought at her, four tickets to the same movie at the same
time. Everything felt dead. Blank. Bland. What else could possibly
happen to him? Now the day really was a disaster. He couldn't even take
Akane to a movie with out something coming along to screw everything
up. Why did he even bother?
Things were not going as planned. First Ranma and Akane getting in a
fight this morning, now Kuno showing up ten minutes early and giving
Akane the tickets first. Nabiki wondered if Ranma would ever forgive
her. She had tried to catch Kuno's eye, but he wouldn't even look in her
direction. She watched Akane trying to figure out what to do next. She
couldn't just dump Kuno, and it was obvious she wasn't going to dump
Ranma, then Nabiki noticed Akane looking at her.
"I know, why don't we all go together."
Kuno looked less than thrilled, and Ranma looked like he'd rather tie
a lead weight around his neck and go swimming.
"Nabiki, why don't you come with us. We've got a spare ticket."
***********
"I hope your happy," hissed Ranma angrily.
"Ranma, I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."
"Oh sure. I bet this really cracks you up inside."
Nabiki looked really hurt, "I'm sorry Ranma."
Ranma kept his eyes on the ground. All the 'I'm sorrys' in the world
wouldn't bring him out of this depression. Here he was on the way to see
the movie Akane wanted to see, and who was he stuck with, Nabiki. Kuno
had been talking to Akane non-stop since they had left the house. He and
Akane were a few feet ahead of Ranma and Nabiki. They may as well have
been a few miles, it would have felt the same to Ranma. He just wanted
the day to be over. The sooner it was over the sooner he could pretend
it had never happened. Ranma felt Nabiki slip her hand into his . . .
His eyes went wide, it felt like they were bugging out of his head. What
was Nabiki doing? Was she crazy? Then he realized she was pressing a
wad of bills into his hand. He looked at her side long.
She couldn't even look him in the eye she was so embarrassed. Nabiki
watched her shoes, "Take Akane dancing after the show Ranma. I think it
will make her happy."
"But I don't know how . . ."
"She doesn't either."
"Nabiki?"
Nabiki continued to watch her feet. It was ok. It was just to make
up for the movie thing, right? It didn't mean anything. She was just
trying to make her little sister happy on her birthday. As long as no
one else found out it wouldn't matter. There was nothing wrong with
wanting your sister to be happy, right?
"Thanks."
Nabiki wished he hadn't said that. He should still be mad. Hadn't
she ruined his present to Akane. He shouldn't have been so quick to
forgive her. It wasn't right . . .
Kuno wasn't really that bad for company, especially when he could keep
the poetry under control. Akane was surprised that Kuno had somehow
managed not to be a total idiot all the was to the theater. If he had
acted like this before she might not have rejected him all the time.
Still she wished that Ranma would quit sulking behind them. She thought
she could guess what had happened. Nabiki had sold tickets to both Ranma
and Kuno, it was just that Kuno had beat Ranma to the delivery. . .
"R..R..Ranma? What are you doing in Brazil?"
That sounded like Ryoga.
"Hey Ryoga. Uh, hey come here a minute."
Akane turned around in time to see Ranma lean over and whisper
something into Ryoga's ear. Ryoga looked at Ranma like he might sprout
leaves or something.
"Is this your idea of a joke?"
Ranma grabbed Ryoga and whispered in his ear again. This time Ryoga
nodded and looked at her. Akane started to sweat, what was Ranma telling
Ryoga. And why was Ryoga going through his back pack? Out of the corner
of her eye she could see Kuno starting to puff up. It looked like Ryoga
was about to get a full dose of poetic tongue lashing Kuno style. . .
Ryoga rushed up to her, "Er . .Ah Akane, um Ranma, said. . . er, is it
really your birthday?"
"Oh course it is the birth date of the beautiful Akane Tendo, boor,
what is it to you?"
Ryoga blinked, what? Skip it, get the important things out of the way
first, "I . . er uh, that is, here," stammered Ryoga handing Akane a box.
"Macadamia nuts? I love these! Thanks Ryoga! Where did you get
these around here?"
"Hawaii," suggested Ranma.
"You interrupt our journey for NUTS? For this offense I, Tetewaki Kuno,
the blue thunder of Furinkan high, will bring you to justice! No god shall
aid thee today, you may pray only for a quick death cretin."
"Kuno, Ryoga is a friend. I'm sure he meant it as a birthday present."
Kuno appeared to consider what Akane had said. Ranma guessed it might take
three more seconds before he disregarded it and attacked. Ranma leaned
over to Nabiki, "I bet Ryoga pounds Kuno flat," he whispered.
"How much?"
"What?"
"How much do you bet?"
Ranma considered it. It was obvious that there was going to be a fight.
And unless Kuno had really improved he probably wouldn't win, "Five?"
"Ooooh you sound confident. At least make it worth my time Ranma."
"Uh, ok ten."
"Fine," murmured Nabiki moving toward Kuno and Ryoga, "Kuno baby, we don't
have time for this. If you fight Ryoga we'll miss the first part of the
movie."
Damn. Ranma should have known Nabiki wouldn't play fair. Maybe she'd let
him keep the money to take Akane out.
"Come on Kuno, why don't we let Ryoga go on his way."
Ranma watched as Kuno got a kind of confused look and then followed Nabiki.
He shook his head, that was definitely weird. Even Akane looked
surprised, and Ryoga looked like he was still trying to work out why Kuno
wanted to fight him. Ranma decided he'd better get Akane out of there
before Ryoga decided he wanted to fight.
Kuno was beginning to wonder if Nabiki had some special power. She seemed
to be able to pry him away from Akane with out any kind of effort at
all. And then there was that voice in the back of his head. He was
really getting sick of that. He'd been hoping to make it through just
one fanfic with out it, but then there it was. <Kuno, your pissing off Akane.
Quit it dumb ass.> His normal whiny conscious must have been on
vacation. Kuno wasn't about to listen to this obnoxious conscious
in a "date Akane" fanfic. . . come to think of it why was he walking up
here with Nabiki instead of back with Akane? Kuno slowed his pace, but as he
did Nabiki caught his arm. He wanted to protest, Akane was back there
with that lecher Saotome. She was . . . she was probably just walking
with him. They might have been talking, but Kuno didn't hear any yelling so
that was doubtful. He looked at Nabiki, she was still holding his arm. She
wasn't looking at him, he could almost swear that she looked a little
ashamed. He blinked, could it be? Was there even a little contentment
on her face. He couldn't look away, it was really a new look . . . well not
exactly. But then again, that could have been a dream . . . he wondered...
It just didn't make any sense. One minute Ranma is telling him its Akane's
birthday, and the next that Kuno guy is challenging him to a fight. Then
along comes Akane's sister and drags Kuno off like he's her boy friend or
something. What the hell was going on around here lately? Ryoga looked
around, he was alone. Wait-a-minute! Where had Ranma dragged Akane off to?
"Yea, that was pretty weird, I wonder if . . ."
Akane looked at Ranma, he looked serious, "Nabiki? My sister Nabiki?"
"Well yea, I mean she is holding his arm."
"That's just to keep him from wandering off."
"Well why should she care?"
Akane wondered why she was defending Nabiki, after all, if Nabiki was in
her place she'd probably go right along with Ranma. Akane sighed to
herself, she just wasn't like that, "Maybe Kuno is just being a gentle man."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
Ooops. Now she'd done it. What could she say? There were only two out
comes of this that Akane could see. The first was a fight over weather
Ranma was a gentleman, or Ranma and herself walking arm in arm. . .well
there wasn't anyone looking in their direction . . . why not. Akane took
Ranma's arm in hers. It felt good. He was looking at her. He had that look
like he was seeing right through her . . like he might be reading her
thoughts . . she wondered what he would think if he could . . .
***********
If you didn't know them, you would have thought they were just three friends
out at the movies. Although if you paid attention, you'd probably notice
that they weren't talking. You might also note that, though they were
all in line together, they had managed to avoid meeting each others
gaze. In fact, they managed to look in completely different directions. But
even given all of this they still managed not to look like they were
bitterest of enemies[2]. Fate must have been in a really bad mood to set
things up like this, thought Nabiki as she and Kuno approached the theater.
Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo, it was like a triumvirate of trouble for Ranma.
Still it would probably be amusing. . .
Shampoo frowned, she had been hoping Ukyo would fall for Kuno.
"Ah brother dearest, I thought you were going to court Akane Tendo."
Ukyo frowned she had been hoping that Shampoo would fall for Kuno.
"I was my sister."
Kodachi frowned, she had been hoping that Shampoo and Ukyo would fall
for her brother.
"But brother dear, this is Akane's sister."
Nabiki frowned, she started hoping Kodachi would fall for Shampoo and Ukyo.
"I know that."
Kuno frowned, he began hoping his sister would fall for Gosunkugi.
"Then where is Akane, Brother dear?"
Nabiki answered before Kuno could try to make a retort, "Why Kodachi, I
thought you knew."
"Knew," asked the three who torment as one?
"Why yes," smiled Nabiki pulling Kuno to the side. She watched as their
eyes widened[3], she gave them a minute to process this, "So girls, who
are you here with? I here this is a real couples movie."
Ranma and Akane didn't notice the trio until it was too late. It might have
been due to being too wrapped up in each other, or because they were both
beginning to feel kinda hungery[4].
*
[1] Authorities report that the previous foot note rampage has been contained.
Thank you, and now back to your regularly scheduled foot notes.
[2] It was supposed to be a REALLY good movie.
[3] It should be noted that their reaction was initially due to the fact that
Ranma and Akane were any where near each other and not arguing.
[4] But it was probably because the author was in a crabby mood due to illness.
***********
"Ranma."
The voice sounded like . . . oh no . . . not here . . . not today . . .
Ranma looked up to see Shampoo looking at him with murder in her eyes.
Then he noticed Ukyo next to her, and Kodachi next to Ukyo. They were
all scowling at him, "Uh hi Shampoo . . ."
"Ranma want to tell Shampoo what he do with Akane?"
"This better be good Ran-Chan."
"Ranma sweetums, WHAT are you doing with HER?"
"We uh, that is . . . I uh. . ."
Akane grabbed his arm, "Come on Ranma, WE are going to this movie."
Nabiki lead Kuno in and waved, "Ta ta girls . . . have fun."
Kodachi stood watching in helpless rage . . . if she got out of line now
she'd never get close to the building again, and the door men might not
let her in, but the what good was buying a ticket to the next showing of
"Last Chance" going to be, if Ranma was going to be with Akane. Kodachi
noticed Ukyo stepping up to the ticket window.
"One for," Ukyo looked up at the movie listings, "Snow White."
Kodachi blinked. 'Snow White'? She never would have pegged Ukyo for the
Disney type. She watched Ukyo go into the theater and give the ticket
collector her ticket. She walked back looked around and stepped in to
the theater for 'Last Chance'. Kodachi's jaw dropped so far it dislocated.
Why hadn't she thought of that? She was far smarter than that peasant girl
Ukyo. It must have been that she was side tracked by her thoughts of her
darling Ranma. Oh fear not my dearest Ranma, thought Kodachi as she
waited her turn in line, we shall soon be together again!
Nabiki made Kuno sit in the isle seat because he was starting to get poetic
again. She sat next to him and Akane sat to her right. Ranma was on
Akane's right, they were sharing a tub[1] of popcorn that they'd picked up
while the author was busy else where.
The lights began to dim and the first of about ten thousand previews began
to roll. Then the movie started. It had Hollywood movie intro number
thirty-five: slow erotic sex scene. The actual credits were small and
appeared in the lower right hand corner of the screen as to not cover and
"good parts". By the end of the credits both Kuno and Ranma were sweating, and
wondering why Akane wanted to see this movie. Someone sat down on
Ranma's right. It took another three seconds for the movie to dive right
into heavy characterization and interrelationships. It quickly passed out of
the "just a drama" genre and strait into the "oh heavy" genre.
"Well Ran-Chan, are you two having fun?," asked a voice to Ranma's right.
Ranma almost fell over, what was Ukyo doing in here, "I, uh, thought this
was sold out."
"It is. Now what are you doing here with Akane?"
"Listen Ukyo, you gotta understand, its Akane's birthday, ok?"
"Would you two shut up? I am trying to watch this," growled an aggravated
voice to Ranma's immediate left. Akane . . . he was hoping she wouldn't
notice.
Ukyo briefly considered disregarding this, but decided that if Ranma were
to take her out for her birthday she wouldn't want Akane to interfere.
Sighing she settled back to watch the movie, it wasn't too bad. It
mainly seemed to deal with the lives of two women living in the same
apartment complex. It seemed to be doing the patchwork story via flashbacks.
It really seemed to be working. Ukyo was beginning to get pulled into
the story line. Of course the heavy emphasis on the loves and heart
breaks of the women really made it depressing to be there without a date. . .
still Ranma was sitting right next to her . . .
At lest Ukyo was being quiet, and the movie was good. Akane let herself
get drawn back into the plot. . . Traci, the more social of the two, was
talking about when the two had first really gotten to know each other.
Lorrie was saying something about a guy named Richard as the flashback
sequence started again. Apparently Richard had been going out with Traci on
and off for some time when one night Richard decided he wanted more than
a goodnight kiss. The scene was darkly erotic in the way that only
something so abhorrent can be. It was horrible to think of, Akane
slipped her hand into Ranma's for comfort. His palm was sweaty, but he
squeezed her hand back. Just then something blue haired and Chinese landed
in Akane's lap.
"Neho Ranma! You happy? Shampoo here now!"
Ranma leaned away from Shampoo, and into Ukyo. Akane threw Shampoo off her
lap, "Get off of me you stupid Chinese bimbo! Can you see we're trying
to watch a movie! Ranma what are you doing?!"
Before Ranma could answer something soft and yielding landed in his lap. It
was wearing a gymnasts leotard and squeaked a surprised, "oh," before
getting a dreamy look on its face and sighing rather obviously. This of
course destroyed any hope of a reply Ranma might have been forming, and
caused him to draw a sharp breath.
Akane got to her feet, "You! You! YOU PERVERT!!!!!"
Kodachi was in paradise. She would never have thought Ranma was waiting for
her . . . except that well . . . she did have some . . . hard . . .
evidence. Oh to think that Ranma thought of her in that way it was
almost more than she could bear. From this day on they would never be apart.
Oh Ranma was . . . Kodachi felt an impact on her chin lift her into the air.
Mean while on the fifth row a man all in white leaned over to the man on his
right, "Kids these days . . ."
The man on the right shook his head, "Yes, they are a bit noisy. Still I
remember when I was young . .."
"Me too, I would have sacrificed them."
The man on the right looked shocked.
"Oh come on Tofu, it was a joke. Well, mostly, it was."
Tofu shook his head as a gymnast sailed over head, "I just don't understand
your sense of humor sometimes."
The man in white shrugged. Tofu just couldn't get in to a good
dark joke. Then again, that lack of cynicism is probably what made
him the man that he was. Well, thought the man in white[2], at least he's
good natured enough to give me room and board and training and advice and
. . . hmmm, Tofu was the second definition of the word good nature. The first
being the ever generous Kasumi. Looking up he noticed the gymnast's
return trip was taking her on a descending arc toward him. He decided
things had gone far enough.
Ukyo began wishing that she hadn't come. This was turning into a real
circus. Shampoo and Akane were in a shouting match. Akane sounded like
she was either in tears on about to be there. Ranma was trying to calm them
down in the completely ineffective way he had. And Kodachi was headed
back this way. Ukyo sighed, and felt sorry for Akane. No one deserved a
birthday like this. Ukyo decided to help out with Kodachi when a white
clad arm in the fifth row shot up and grabbed her ankle. Kodachi was
held there for a few seconds, then the hand laid her across the row of seats.
Ukyo looked at Shampoo . . .
"Gymnast Tofu?"
"Er . . no."
*
[1] Well it was a small, so it was about the size of Dixie cup.
[2] Who's name wasn't being used because he was the secret character for this
level[3].
[3] You have to win six million fights in a row, score sixty points at
Pong, and get 6 extra men in Galliga and break dance to get to him.
***********
Akane made it all the way to the street before the tears started in earnest.
It just wasn't fair. Why couldn't she even go to a movie with Ranma with
out one of his "other" girl friends showing up? It was her birthday!
And how could Ranma let Kodachi sit in his lap? That pervert! And why
did Shampoo have to show up and start trying to break things up? A sob broke
free and Akane turned away from the people in the street in humiliation.
As she did she caught sight of Ranma coming out of the theater. Even
with her tears distorting everything she could see that he was really mad.
"Akane!"
"Go away Ranma, you've already ruined my day."
"Wait Akane! Please!"
There was something in his tone that wasn't normally there. It was a
pleading, desperate tone. Akane wondered what she should do. It
probably wouldn't hurt to just listen to him, "What?"
"I . . .I'm sorry. I didn't know they would be there."
"Is that all."
Ranma looked hurt, "Akane let me take you to dinner."
She was hungry, but still, after what happened in the theater, "There's no
way I'm going anywhere with you!"
"Please Akane its your birthday. Let me do something to make it up to you!"
God, he was practically begging her. She'd never seen Ranma this desperate
to be nice in her whole life. He must have really wanted her to enjoy
the movie. Maybe he did care that much . . . and besides, she was
hungry, so it wasn't like she was completely forgiving him. Akane wiped
an arm across her eyes to dry them, "Alright Ranma. Just stop making such a
big deal about it."
***********
Well Akane seemed to be enjoying the meal. She had calmed down alot. Ranma
let himself relax a bit and looked out the big plate glass window and
watched traffic in the street. It seemed kind of surreal to see cars but
not hear them or the people walking right outside the window. Ranma had
never been into the club scene, he wondered if there were any good clubs near
by . . .
"Its peaceful isn't it?"
"What?"
"Its peaceful isn't it."
Ranma looked back out the window, yea, that was a good term for it, "Yea.
Yea, it is. Are you feeling better?"
"Yes. I'm sorry for . . earlier."
"Its ok. I just wish we could have seen the whole movie."
"Were you enjoying it too?"
Ranma could feel the weight of the question, it could tip the conversation
in the wrong direction. Still it was hard to keep from just blurting out
something off the top of his head. The movie wasn't really his type of thing,
but it had been kind of interesting in the way watching someone else's
life can be, "It was interesting."
"Maybe we can go see it again."
"Sure," it could have been worse, "by the way, would you . . .like to . . .
uh to . .."
"Would I like to?"
"Would . . . would, would you like togodancing."
"Oh Ranma, that would really be great!"
"Ah Akane Tendo. I know of a club that we can go to."
Ranma went stiff. Even the casual observer could hear the muscles in his
neck creak as he turned to look at the new person at the table. Mikado
Sanzenin, and, by default of going everywhere he went, Azusa Shiratori,
who was looking lovingly at a piece of Ranma's sushi. Where the hell did all
these people keep coming from?
"Go away. We don't want anything from you."
"How untrue Akane Tendo. You still have yet to taste the pleasures of my
kiss."
"Oh no thanks. I just ate."
"Dominique! Come to Azusa, Dominique," cried Azusa snatching the new found
Dominique off of Ranma's plate.
Mikado, unsure of how to come back tried, "I meant that metaphoricly."
"I think she means that you make her sick."
"I see Ranma Saotome, is this how you issue your challenges now? I thought
you preferred fish cake."
Ranma picked up a piece of sushi, "I'll fish cake you . ." There was a loud
thud as something smacked into the window. Ranma looked up, Ryoga. It
figured. Everything bad seemed to come in dozens today. What else could
go wrong with dinner? There was another thud, you could almost read
Ryoga's lips. Something like "Ranma you bastard".
"I think we better go before Ryoga breaks that window."
"Your right, lets go see what he's so upset about."
"Excuse me," interrupted Mikado, "But I believe Ranma has just agreed to..."
The conversation broke up as Ranma jumped to his feet. He could read
Ryoga's lips, and Ryoga was screaming out a Japanese phrase that most
American fans recognize as the breaking point technique, but probably
should have been translated to something like "Breaking point
first technique, Extra Thick Skull". There was only a second before that
idiot blew the window in on everyone. And Akane was sitting there with a
stunned look on her face, he had to get her down. The window exploded
as Ranma dived onto Akane.
Mikado stood there with a stunned look on his face, untouched by any
flying glass. Azusa began jumping up and down, "Charlotte! Charlotte!
You came back to Azusa, Charlotte!"
There are no words to describe the look of horror that affixed itself to
Ryoga's face at the mere sound of Azusa's voice. There is only the one
sentence flashback of Azusa giving him a nice widdle baf, and calling him
a naughty pig, "I'm not Charlotte! I'm a person!"
Meanwhile half a block down the street. (By some incredible coincidence)
"That was a good movie. Though I still think you would have done better
going with Kasumi."
"We. . .wa . . .woo . . ."
"Oh I agree, Kasumi is the woman for you."
"Gi . .goo . . .ga . . ."
"Yes, those kids making a fuss in the middle of it was kind of
annoying, but hey look on the bright side, at least we got this swell
gymnast," said the man in white motioning toward the gymnast who's ankle
he was still holding.
Kodachi had given up on trying to attack the man in white. As a
secret character he had all the cheep moves. She had also given up on
ordering him to put her down. And on demanding he put her down. The
most she got out of that was a discussion between Dr. Tofu and this man
in white as to whether a gymnast would make a good umbrella. It was time to
try the last ditch trick, asking politely, "Excuse me kind sir, but could
you please put me down?"
"Oh, certainly miss. There you go. Could you work on your routine in
a gym next time? It would make many movie goers happy."
"YOU PEON! IF YOU THINK. . . ." Kodachi broke off as the man in white
hardened his gaze. She had an unpleasant vision of him carrying her home
under his arm. She decided to let this go for now. Perhapse she
would make a special batch of cookies for him later. Spinning around to head
for home she spotted the man in the street yelling into the broken window of a
restaurant. It was the kind of place she was sure Ranma would take her
to, it was so classy. Oh Ranma would . . . Ranma?
As is the law of complete coincidence, Ranma ended up pressed face to face
with Akane. So close in fact that even the casual observer would think
that they were about to kiss, that is if the casual observer would bother
looking at something so tame with the "Charlotte/not Charlotte" yelling
match going on.
Ranma was staring into Akane's eyes, and she was stairing back into his. Oh
man, thought Ranma, if I don't say something quick Akane will kick my
face off and use it for a coaster. Sitting up Ranma offered Akane his
hand, "I uh, I . . . I mean its not. . .how . . .its just . . ."
Akane ignored the offer of his hand and got to her feet, "Ranma you didn't
have to jump on me."
"Hey why are you making it sound like that?"
Akane had decided that this was it for tonight, that there was nothing left
to do but give Ranma the fight he seemed to be eager for, then she
noticed the "I'm a person/Your my Charlotte" yelling match going on. Why
was Azusa calling Ryoga Charlotte? Charlotte was the name she had given
P-Chan. A vision of the sorcerer Morphine turning Ryoga into a pig assailed
her . . . . but what if...
"Akane snap out of it."
She shook her head to clear it, "But why is," she began looking at Ryoga.
"Uh . . . who knows. She's crazy, maybe she wants to take Ryoga home now."
"But why is she calling him Charlotte?"
"He . . uh. . . I . . . how should I know? Maybe she's recycling names or
something. Come on Akane lets get out of here before things get any worse."
"But we shouldn't leave Ryoga here . . ."
Ranma climbed out the window, "If you want to stay with Ryoga, you go ahead.
Its your birthday. You do what ever makes you happy."
Akane was almost too distracted to notice Mikado as he leaned in to give her
a little birthday kiss. Almost. Besides, the look of horror on Ranma's
face was a dead give away. Akane threw herself across the seat, then as
she landed rolled out the window. Ranma helped her to her feet.
"Ah Akane Tendo, you escape my kiss once again. Still you can not hope to
GAAAHHHH!!!"
It was her Ranma! He had just climbed out the window, and without that
disgusting little nuisance Akane Tendo. This was her moment! Ranma
would be hers now! With just one kiss he would surrender to her! Her
special lip gloss (formula 342) would make him love her with passion
equal to her own! Kodachi pushed herself into motion. Bearing down on Ranma
where he stood next to the open window, Kodachi sprung toward her prey.
At the last second she closed her eyes, and then Ranma was in her arms.
It took no effort to capture his delicious mouth with hers. As she
slipped him a little tongue she ran her hands across his back . . . odd, it
felt like Ranma was wearing a bra. He also felt quite a bit softer than
the last time she had glomed him . . . still Ranma was starting kiss her
back now as formula 342 did its job. She kind of wished he'd stop screaming
in her ear though. Hold it. How could Ranma be screaming in her ear if he
was frenching her? Unless . . . unless this wasn't Ranma she was
kissing. This could really be bad. Well not all bad, who ever it was
was a great kisser, and her devoted love slave. Kodachi decided to see who it
was she was kissing.
Ryoga had been about to jump through the window and kill Mikado when it
happened. Who would have believed? How could life be this sick? One
minute Akane was safe from the clutches of that skating pervert Mikado
Sanzenin, and then Kodachi "The Black Rose" Kuno was there embracing her
like a lover. No, it was even worse because she was k . . k. . . kissing her!!
And then as things seemed to be at their absolute worst, then . . . .
Akane leaned into the kiss and started embracing Kodachi!!! How could it
be! Why hadn't Ranma told him!?! Why hadn't he noticed? No, the way
Ranma was screaming, he was just as surprised as everyone else. How could Akane
have kept this a secret from them both? The world was a very lonely place.
How could he live with this?
Kodachi finally pulled away. Akane clutched her hands in front of her.
She wasn't sure what had just happened to her, everything seemed to be
happening so quickly. Who would have thought Kodachi felt this way . . .
and why had she chosen here and now to show her affection,
"Kodachi . . . "
"I . . .I . . .I kissed Akane Tendo!?"
"Oh Kodachi please understand."
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"Please Kodachi," cried Akane almost tearfully, "I can't."
Kodachi stopped, Akane seemed to be talking to her, "What?"
"I . . .I'm engaged to Ranma. You and I can never be . . ."
Kodachi took a step back, what the hell was Akane thinking? How could she
believe (formula 342) that . . . oh. . . oh no!!!!! Formula 342 wasn't
very well tested! Who knew how long this might last! All the birds she had
fed it to had taken up residence in the trees at the family home and had,
as of yet, not left . . . Kodachi swore to throw out the "Whamco Biochemists
Fun Kit" when she got home . . .
He couldn't believe this. First Kodachi shows up and kisses Akane, and as
if that wasn't bad enough, Akane starts acting like they are lovers or
something . . . Ranma didn't think he could take much more of today. Not
at the rate it was going. Now there was absolutely no way it could get
any worse. Man, Akane even looked like she was going to cry, "Akane! Come
on, we're leaving."
"Oh Ranma, please don't be jealous."
"J . .j. . .jealous?! Why would I be jealous of A tomboy like you!?!?!?"
"What?!"
Damn. Now he'd got a fight started. Now he was in danger of loosing Akane
to Kodachi . . .ugh! He needed to get Akane alone where they could talk this
out, "I .. . I, Akane lets go dancing. We, we . . . I . .er. . eh. . ."
Akane sighed to herself, she knew what Ranma Saotome apologies and sincerity
sounded like. He really wanted to get her away from Kodachi . . . well
he was her fiance . . . not that that mattered . . . she just hopped
Kodachi would understand, "Alright Ranma, lets go . . ."
Kodachi breathed a sigh of relief, Ranma was leading that awful girl away
. . . WAIT A MINUTE, "Ranma sweetums! Wait for me!!"
Ryoga watched as Ranma lead Akane off down a street. Well that's that. His
mental brakes locked up, WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!!!!!! I have to
kill Ranma for letting this happen! Its all his fault!!! Ryoga took off
at full speed. As he ran the girl on his arm giggled with excitement.
Stupid little. . . .girl on his arm? Ryoga tried to get his brain back in
gear, let see. . .He was chasing Ranma (that seemed normal). Ranma had almost
eluded him by turning a corner (embarrassingly normal). The girl on his
arm had told him which street to go down(Warning: not normal). Where had
a girl on his arm come from, and why was she calling him Charlotte?
Charlotte? Ranma was taking Akane into a club. CHARLOTTE!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!
"I'M NOT YOUR PET PIG!!!! I'M A HUMAN BEING!!!!"
***********
They were resting. Well at least she was. Nabiki would never have guessed
Kuno could dance like that. Either he could hide his fatigue well or he
was more of an athlete than she'd ever given him credit for. Nabiki sighed,
it was about time to flashback so the readers would know just how she'd
got Kuno to take her to a club.
It had seemed like a miracle that Kuno hadn't followed Akane out of the
theater, but he had stayed. It was a good thing, because that ending
made it a real heart breaker of a movie. Unfortunately after the movie
Kuno had wanted to know why she had given Ranma tickets to it too. Even
worse was the fact that Kuno seemed completely rational. He didn't seem to be
buying anything she told him . . a real first for Kuno. She finally
convinced him that she'd felt sorry for Ranma and had given him her
tickets. Nabiki didn't think he would have understood if she told him
she'd sold him the tickets so that she'd have someone to go to the show with.
That and he might have said something like, "I'm only interested in your
sister Nabiki Tendo." Er. . . anyway, he had asked where Ranma might
take Akane if not home to the dojo.
Nabiki knew a free ride when it came along, and told him they would
probably go dancing. There was a great (and expensive) new club she had
really wanted to see, so she had recommended they start there. If she
thought she'd been surprised by Kuno not leaving the movie, his reply had
almost knocked her over.
"No Nabiki Tendo, I do not think you gave him enough money for that."
She didn't know how Kuno knew about her giving Ranma money, but she was
beginning to suspect that this rational side of Kuno was a force to be
reckoned with. Which, by way of thinking of a cheeper, but still nice
club, brought them here. It was a couples place, and tonight they were
doing alternating sets of slow dance music and the ever popular pop club
dance remixes. She and Kuno had just finished an entire set of Madonna
remixes. Nabiki could tell that Kuno wanted to go. He seemed pretty
intent on finding Akane again. damn. This was such a nice club, and they
were about to play a slow dance set.
Nabiki noticed a small man in a ninja costume approaching their table. As
he approached Kuno beckoned to him. She wondered why the "noble" house
of Kuno needed a ninja, "Kuno baby, why do you have a ninja?"
"The enemies of the noble house of Kuno are many, and so we must endeavor
to keep their wicked minions at bay in any way possible."
Kuno was definitely swinging back to his normal moronic self, "I see, so
what your trying to say is that you need a ninja to beat up Ranma for you."
"SILENCE! The great Tetewaki Kuno needs no servant . . ."
"Master Kuno! Master Kuno! I bring dire news!"
"How dare you interrupt me when I'm talking!"
"I'm sorry master!"
"Well?"
"Er? Oh, uh . . . ."
Nabiki wasn't sure why the ninja was looking at her like some kind of time
bomb, but she had a feeling it would have something to do with Akane.
Well at least Kuno's servants felt bad about breaking up a date. Nabiki
watched Kuno's face as the ninja whispered in his ear, it was like
reading a book. Lets see:
look of joy - probably found Akane
look of irritation - she must be with Ranma
look of confusion - not sure
look of abject terror - Ranma and Akane were in some kind of compromising
position
look of horror and despair - he caught them kissing?
Kuno put his head on the table, "Oh cruel fate, that such a thing could be
true, it is too much to bare."
"What is it Kuno."
He looked up at her, "nothing."
Wow, back to the rational Kuno, he takes more personality swings than a
pendulum, "I can see that its not important to you, so why don't you
spill it."
"Do not goad me Nabiki Tendo, this is a private matter."
Her heart flip flopped in her chest, and Nabiki barely kept a strait face.
If Kuno were to show up to school and act like this for just one day, no
girls heart would be safe. Still, Nabiki wondered what could have had
this affect on him? Akane and Ranma routinely beat him up and rejected
him, what could they have done now?
"Hey you, ninja boy. What did my sister do this time?"
Kuno looked up, had she actually figured it out? He had always given her
credit for being fast to figure things out, but this was unheard of, "Fear not
Nabiki Tendo, this matter does not concern you."
"We're talking about my little sister here Kuno."
As Kuno was about to reply he noticed Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome rushing
in the door. He also saw his sister, but this was a couples club, and
she was alone. She didn't make it by the bouncer. Thank goodness for
small favors. Akane was his, and he wasn't about to let his sister take
her away. Ugggh! What had happened to his sister? She had always been
unstable, but this was the first time she had ever chased other women.
He had told her to be careful with that biochemistry kit he'd gotten her
for her birthday last year. Perhaps there was some antidote for what
ever was affecting her. Kuno decided to take his sister to a doctor as soon
as possible. Standing, he motioned to Akane.
"Look Ranma, there's Kuno and Nabiki."
"Akane, we need to talk."
"Then let go over there, I don't see another empty booth anywhere."
"Uh . . . do you really want to talk about this in front of Nabiki?"
Akane looked away, Ranma was really jealous about this Kodachi thing. She
took his hand and lead him toward the booth, this talk could wait. The
longer the better. As they cut through the dancing couples hand in hand
Akane started to get in to the mood of the club.
"Ranma?"
He bumped into her, lost in his thoughts, "huh?"
"Ranma, do you want to dance?"
"Er . . .eh. .e. .d. .d.a. . .dance? Here?"
"What are you embarrassed to be with me?"
"Uh, no. Uh all right. Lets dance . . ."
"Hey isn't that Saotome and Akane Tendo? It is! Hey I thought he never
took her out? Maybe they are getting serious. So he doesn't keep her
locked in a cellar? No that's the other Ranma that he keeps locked up.
That lecher. Akane's too good for him. We oughta kick his ass! You do it.
He beat up Kuno, there's no way I'm gonna get near him."
Nabiki couldn't believe it, half way across the club Akane and Ranma had
stopped to dance. Oooo, this really had Kuno upset. He sat back down
and started fuming about Ranma, "That villain Saotome, forcing the
beautiful Akane Tendo to dance with him!"
"She doesn't look very forced to me Kuno baby."
"Of course she's forced! Satsuki, bring my boKken!"
"Oh, and what are you going to do."
"I shall rescue Akane Tendo and then I shall show her the way my heart
dances."
Nabiki frowned, she couldn't believe she was hearing him right. Those
memories that she had of "that night" must have been a dream. Fine
then. If that's how it was, "You know Kuno baby, it would be a shame for
you to upset Akane on her birthday. Why don't you challenge Ranma and
take it outside."
"Very well. I shall take this outside. You are right of course. And
after I defeat the cretinous Saotome I shall treat Akane to the late
showing of 'Last Chance'."
Nabiki wanted to scream, this must be how Ranma makes Akane feel, "Is that
so? Well Kuno baby, I don't think she'll go."
"And why is that Nabiki Tendo?"
"I think my little sister has better taste in men."
Kuno blinked. Could he be hearing her right? Nabiki Tendo had just told
him Akane wouldn't date him because she had a better taste in men? That
wasn't like her. Kuno noticed Ranma and Akane were moving toward the booth
again. Still, Nabiki acting weird, not to mention his sister. Perhaps
these were omens. Perhaps this was to be his day to destroy Ranma Saotome!!!
"I'll tell you what Kuno, I'll make a little wager with you. I'll bet you
ten thousand yen that you can't even get my little sister to go to the
movie with you."
"Ha. I have seen the omens! Today is Tetewaki Kuno's day! I shall surely
win the heart of the lovely Akane Tendo!!"
"You couldn't even give her a goodnight kiss."
"I accept that challenge!"
Nabiki wanted to hit him, treating her like this was going to cost him, "Put
your money where your mouth is Kuno."
"Fifty thousand yen."
She almost choked, fifty thousand on a kiss? Kuno must have finally lost
it. This was too good to be true, "Your on Kuno."
At least Ranma hadn't called her a klutz every time she stepped on his
toes, even if he did squeak in pain. It was a nice feeling dancing with
someone you lov. . .er, with a big strong man. She hoped Kuno would be
civil. She really wanted to spend a little more time on the dance floor
before they left. Especially since this was a couples club, none of those
other fiance wannabes could get in here. As she sat down next to Nabiki,
she noticed Nabiki seemed to be really aggravated, "Is something wrong
Nabiki?"
"What? No, I'm fine. Well Saotome, are you going to sit down or are you
that anxious to get Akane back on the dance floor?"
Ranma looked like he would rather disembowel himself rather than sit next
to Kuno, but there was no other seat. As Akane started to fill Nabiki in
on what had happened since they had left to movie Kuno leaned toward him.
"how could you let my sister," whispered Kuno.
"its not my fault, she's your sister."
"yes but if i were there, i would have stopped her."
"shut up."
"your unworthy of Akane. i will destroy you tonight."
"in your dreams . . . uh oh."
***********
Mikado Sanzenin found her outside the club begging the bouncer to let
her in to see her darling Ranma. It was the perfect setup. He'd used it
before. Find another girl being strung along and show her off to a
jealous girlfriend. This would be perfect, he would take this poor innocent
girl into the club and kiss her in front of Ranma. And while Ranma tried
to save this beauty, Mikado would take Akane Tendo. It was the perfect
plan. She had let him pay her way in, and lead her to their table . .
all that was left was the kiss.
Kodachi had no idea who this Sanzenin person was, but he got her into the
club, and took her to Ranma's table. Unfortunately Akane was there, and
she was stairing at her. Uggh! She decided on the direct approach, glom
on to Ranma and not let go. Just as she tensed to pounce the Mikado
person leaned in and KISSED HER?!?!?!
"why is he kissing my sister Saotome?"
"how would i know? he's probably a pervert."
"i gave you responsibility for my sister. why are you letting perverts
kiss her?"
"look at it this way Kuno, at least she won't be chasing Akane."
"hmmm"
Nabiki leaned across the table, "Kuno, what does he mean 'at least she
won't be chasing Akane'?"
"Oh, uh, nothing," came the dual reply.
Nabiki looked at the two of them and wondered how Kuno had gotten Ranma on
his side. There must be some real juicy story behind this, "If you don't
tell me what's going on I promise it will cost you even more . ."
Mikado broke the kiss and watched the girls reaction. She looked annoyed?
She slapped him. Oh could it have been her first?! The sweet joy of
stealing that first kiss, for shame that he . . .boy she sure was pretty.
"You disgusting little creep! Akane Tendo kisses better than you!"
Mikado fainted. Kuno and Ranma tried to pretend like that hadn't happened.
Nabiki fell over. Akane jumped to her feet, "Oh Kodachi do you mean it?"
Akkkk! Akane Tendo was standing there looking at her all misty eyed!
Kodachi cursed formula 342 again.
"Master Kuno your bokken!"
"Ah, thank you Satsuki. Now Saotome it is time for you to die."
"Kuno I'm gonna enjoy . . ."
There was a loud thud, and the building rattled.
Nabiki got to her feet, "Ranma if you don't tell me. . ."
The wall that the booth joined exploded, showering everyone with debris.
In the wreckage of the wall were two figures, a man and a woman. The
woman insisted on calling the man Charlotte. The man screamed at Ranma,
"RANMA HOW DARE YOU FORCE AKANE TO TAKE PART IN YOUR SICK FANTASIES!!!!!"
"Hi there Charlotte."
"I'M NOT CHARLOTTE!!!"
"Little Azusa's Charlotte is SO strong!!"
"I'M NOT YOUR PET PIG," screamed Ryoga throwing Azusa through the hole in
the wall.
Nabiki brushed a few fragments of brick from her shoulder, "Ranma, if daddy
ever finds out you forced Akane to kiss Kodachi he'll kill you."
"Forced?! Saotome stand still and DIE!!!"
"RANMA DIE!!!!"
As Kuno and Ryoga attacked Ranma threw himself across the table where he
landed in Nabiki's lap. Kuno and Ryoga stood frozen. Akane, who had
turned around at the shouting, started fuming.
"Oooo Ranma. I never knew. I really don't think this is very appropriate,
I mean your engaged to my little sister."
"Ranma! I'm finished with a pervert like you. If you want Nabiki so much
you can have her," shouted Akane running for the door.
"Did you see that? Saotome attacked Nabiki. He's a real pervert. Oh yea,
did you hear what he forced Akane to do with Kodachi? He doesn't deserve
her. Lets kill him! YEA! We can't let a pervert like him terrorize Akane."
***********
He skidded out the door of the club. Her could see Akane up the alleyway.
She wasn't going to . . . Ranma threw himself to the side as Kuno charged
out of the club. Ranma knew he'd loose Akane if he stayed to fight Kuno,
he pushed himself for speed. The blow that hit him in the back of the
knee wasn't aimed at maiming him, just to stop him from running. It worked.
Ranma back flipped off the pavement, spinning in midair to face Kuno.
"You wanna fight!!! Come on Kuno!!!!"
Kuno briefly wondered if this was such a smart idea after all. But it was
no matter, for surely the blue thunder of Furinkan High would not see
defeat at the hands of this cretin. Kuno tensed and then threw himself
forward, full force into his attack. Ranma threw only one punch. It
connected with the tip of his bokken. The bokken exploded into a rain of
match sticks. I'm dead, thought Kuno watching Ranma draw back. Then, Ranma
ran up the alley? That coward, he was running away. . . Ryoga crashed
through the wall in front of him.
"RANMA!!!! YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME THIS TIME!"
Kuno watched Ryoga run up the alleyway, how could he defeat Saotome without
his boKken? He would have to send Satsuki to ge....the thoughts of the
blue thunder were interrupted as he was trampled by the mob of people who
were banding together to kill Saotome.
"Well Kuno baby, looks like you owe me fifty thousand yen."
Kuno snapped up into a sitting position, "Never! The night is young!
And my plan has yet to be birthed upon it," Blue Thunder had come to a
descision.
Shampoo wished Mousse would leave her alone so she could find Ranma
again. After Ukyo had tripped her up in the theater she had gone home in
defeat. But of course at home there was Mousse, and there was nothing
like that idiot chasing her to make her want to be with Ranma. She
decided to cut through the park on the way to Dr. Tofu's. If Ranma was
with Akane, he'd probably end up there sooner or later . . .
Ukyo didn't know what had possessed her to go to the park tonight, maybe
she just needed some time alone after the movie. Well, what ever the
reason she was stuck with Akane now. She really had to feel sorry for
her, it was just about the worst birthday anyone had ever had. Ukyo couldn't
really blame her for crying, just she wished Akane would do it at home.
"Uh listen Akane, I think I'm going to go home. Will you be ok?"
"Thanks Ukyo. I guess I just needed some one to talk to . . ."
"Sure thing Akane, now yo..."
They heard the call from the far side of the park. Some how it was hard to
be surprised. Who else but Ryoga would case Ranma through a park at this
time of night? The really amazing part was that Ranma was actually in
the park. Akane pointed him out, he was about half way to them when
Shampoo skidded her bike to a halt in front of him. Ranma didn't even pause,
he threw himself into the air and cleared Shampoo, bike and all. In fact
the only thing that stopped him from reaching them was Mousse. He glomed
on to Ranma midair, elatedly calling Shampoo's name. It was just as
Mousse landed that the angry mob came charging across the park.
He'd almost made it. He'd even avoided Shampoo, but then that idiot Mousse
had to come along and mistook him for Shampoo. Ranma knew the mob was
going to catch him now. This had to be it. The worst possible way to
end the night, getting in a big fight right in front of Akane. Ranma
closed his eyes, if he was getting in a fight now, he was going to make
everyone pay. He threw twenty punches into Mousse before Mousse could
even let go of him. He snapped back around to the leader of the mob...Ryoga.
It was his fault dinner was completely ruined, Ranma owed him. Ryoga leapt at
Ranma, and Ranma held his ground side stepping at the last second.
His jump kick never even landed. Not even on the ground. Ryoga had lost
count of the punches that Ranma had thrown after the first hundred. The
thing that really mattered was that they hurt like hell. Either Ranma
had gotten alot stronger, or Ryoga seriously needed to consider never
getting Ranma this mad ever again. Ryoga stared at the sky. It was a lovely
evening, the stars were out. He decided to rest here a while . . . at
least until he recovered some muscular control.
Nabiki watched the fight as she strolled over to Akane and Ukyo. She was
getting the distinct impression that no one had touched Ranma yet, and it
was weird how the bodies on the ground were all scattered out like from a
bomb blast. Just before she got to Akane she noticed Kuno there.
She wondered how he had got by her without her noticing, well he probably
went around the other side of the fight. Akane looked surprised when he
spoke.
Akane jumped when he spoke, "Akane Tendo. This night has been nothing
less than a tragedy. Were there some way to make things right with it
I, Tetewaki Kuno, would be the first to try. Sadly these events have
already transpired, and I can but give a humble apology."
"Uh sure Kuno," said Akane distractedly.
Had she not granted him his wish? Yes it was time to tell Akane good
night. Kuno reached out and caught Akane's chin with his thumb and
forefinger and turned her face toward him. She looked confused, she must
be worried that the cretin Saotome would not relinquish her to him. Ah
Akane Tendo fear not, for the noble Tetewaki Kuno shall see justice visited
upon Ranma tonight, so thinking he leaned forward. . .
Ranma knocked out the last of the mob just in time to see Kuno kiss Akane.
It wasn't a big wet sloppy kiss, or the right on the lips Mikado Sanzenin
special, but it was a kiss. That was two people in one night. First
Kodachi, now Kuno. Ranma decided the only thing he could do was to kill
Kuno. He sprang forward just as a figure behind him made a leap at him.
Shampoo landed on her face. Ranma had moved. She shook her head,
Ranma was moving like a bullet toward Kuno. Shampoo smiled, it was
really a treat to see her husband in action. He was . . . a little girl
with a ribbon ran by her.
"Give me back my ribbon!"
Shampoo was about to turn around when the angry gymnast spring boarded off
her head causing her to over balance and fall on her face . . . again.
Shampoo started to get up, she wasn't going to let that crazy girl get
away with this! She was. . . an attractive man ran over her. He
appeared to be chasing the crazy girl.
"What is Shampoo?! Doormat?!?"
It felt like some one had dropped an anvil on her heart. Kuno actually did
it. Nabiki had seen the whole thing. Now she owed him fifty thousand
yen, and . .. and would have to try to look him in the face with out
hitting him. It was only of minor consolation when Akane booted him out
of sight. Nabiki felt heavy, she decided to head home before anything worse
happened.
Kodachi had almost caught up to the little girl who had stolen her ribbon.
The little witch was prancing around and calling the ribbon John Luke.
Just before Kodachi reached the her, the girl cried out, "Don't look at
Azusa!"
Then, to Kodachi's amazement, the girl whirled the ribbon like an expert.
Even more amazing, and quite embarrassing too, Kodachi found herself
bound by the ribbon. She wondered how the little thief had learned the
ribbon so quickly?
"Azusa's little John Luke has you all tied up!"
Someone glomed on to her from behind, "Oh my darling, surely you must let
me attempt to give you a kiss worthy of your lips!"
Damn formula 342, and with her darling Ranma so close. She would just
have to bare the humiliation and hop for it.
Azusa turned around as John Luke was pulled from her hand. The gymnast
who had been chasing her was hoping away with him. But suddenly that
wasn't important, because there, laying on the ground uncontious, was her
Charlotte!
She could see Ranma was furious. Akane had never seen him so mad. Kuno
was probably lucky she had kicked him out of the park. Akane decided she
had better say something, the way Ranma looked he'd say the wrong thing
for sure, "Ranma, I . .. "
<hop>"Ranma darling!"<hop hop>"Ranma!"
"Oh my love, never abandon me again," sighed the man who was hanging on
to Kodachi.
Akane couldn't believe Kodachi. Chasing Ranma in front of her! And with
Mikado hanging on her like a parasite! How could she do this? Akane
grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around.
"Kodachi! How can you treat me like this .. . you . . .you . . .you TWO
TIMER!!!!!"
Kodachi felt stunned, which was followed by a painful sensation of being
uppercutted out of the park[1]. As she sailed over Nerima she tried to
straiten things out in her mind. Apparently formula 342 had long lasting
affects. Apparently Akane considered her as a girlfriend. Ugh! Apparently
this Mikado person wanted to date her. Double ugh! At least Akane could
kiss...<WHAM>
"...ove as it must be!! Ah Akane Tendo, I, Tetewaki Kuno, shall . . .
shall vow to . . . to be. . ..uh . . .to be all I can be," the five minute
soliloquy was grinding to a halt as Kuno tried to get over the growing
sensation that he'd just done something completely wrong. It couldn't have
been the kiss. A gentle kiss on the forehead was friendly, even
brotherly, Kuno decided against the kiss. Could it have been the bet
with Nabiki? There was something with possibility. Yes Kuno decided it
was wrong to dirty the pureness of a kiss with a bet. That. . .his thoughts
trailed off as someone in a gymnasts leotard bounced off his head.
Mikado held the ribbon to his chest. It had fallen off of HER after Akane
had uppercutted her into the stratosphere. Love lost. . . .oh well there
was still Akane! Someone hit him in the back of the head.
"Give Azusa her John Luke! John Luke!"
*
[1] Excelent.
***********
It felt good. Akane's hands kneading the muscles in his back. She was
strong enough to make them relax. Ranma decided that he'd found Akane's
forte. The one thing she could do . .. give a good massage. He wasn't
sure why she had started massaging his back, but he was glad she had.
"Akane."
She knew what he'd say. Probably something about her being strong for a
tomboy. Or that she was tensing him up . . . he always said things like
that, "What is it Ranma."
"You really give a good massage."
Did he really just say that? She smiled to herself and kept working on
his back.