Author's foreword:
I am sure you are all wondering what kind of drug I have been
taking that would possess me to write something like this. I have
absolutely no idea why I did it. Some of you may groan and become
disgus
solution for you: stop reading now, while you still can. This is just
for fun. But if you are feeling demented enough to read this then all
I can say is enjoy. Be forewarned, I did not take this thing
seriously. You can bag on it all you want. I won't get hurt. I am
made of steel. Besides--it isn't like I care. HA ha ha ha ha.
Oh yeah the characters were stol-- I mean borrowed from Rumiko
Takahashi and that twit Saban. All rights reserved. Blah, blah blah.
The Angel Grove Exchange Program--- Ranma no more?
Ranma stares blankly out the window and watches the clouds
sweep by below the wings of the plane. He hits the tray table in
front of him, forgetting the water that the flight attendant placed
there for him twenty minutes ago. <Splash> The water hits Ranma
right in the face. The passenger sitting next to him offers him her
napkin. Looking closely at Ranma, she gasps and drops the napkin.
The woman closes her eyes and shakes her head vigorously as if to
shake the image of the red haired girl sitting where a black haired
boy should have been from her mind,then opens them again to look at
Ranma.
"What the--" is all she manages to say before passing out.
"Great," Ranma-chan says outloud in total despair. " How on
earth did I get myself into this mess anyway?"
ABOUT 6 HOURS AGO
Ranma peeked his head into the principalšs office.
" You wanted to see me sir?" he asked. He figured that wacko
wanted another swipe at cutting his hair. Ranma shook his head and
smiled. You think he would learn by now, he thought.
"Yes, Ranma. Happy news is coming your way!" Principal Kuno
smiled and gave him a hug
"H-happy news?" Ranma asked suspiciously.
"Yes! Congratulations! You have been chosen to be a part of our
student exchange program!"
"Exchange program?
"Yes, you are going to America for three whole months!"
"America?" Ranma could barely choke out the words. "three
months?"
"Yes, you are going to Angel Grove, California for a semester.
Your plane leaves tonight," principal Kuno smiled at Ranma.
"Tonight!!" Ranma shouted. "No way! I ainšt goin' tonight or any
other night, and you can't make me!"
"I am afraid you do not have any choice in the matter", Kuno
stated solemnly.
"What do you mean I don't have a choice? Of course I do!"
" Ranma, you are failing school. If you do not go, I will be
forced to have you repeat a grade."
Ranma raised his eyebrows and looked at principal Kuno.
"So if I go, then what happens?", he asked.
"Then you will receive straight A's. That is of course if you go."
"Wait a second! That's blackmail!" Ranma balled his hands into
fists.
"No it isn't. It's a fair negotiation, and you can't do a thing
about it. So what do you say?" Kuno smiled confidently.
"I guess I gotta go", Ranma grumbled, glaring at Kuno's smug grin.
"Good, let me give you a haircut for your trip." Principal Kuno
lunged forward with the shears in his hand, ready to attack Ranma.
Ranma sidestepped him and kicked him in the butt, using the force of
the blow to propel him to the exit.
"Three months! Why me?" Ranma moaned, as he slammed the door
behind him.
Principal Kuno just laid there, sprawled on the floor with his shears
still clutched in his hand.
"Oh joy!" he shouted in triumph. " I finally got rid of Saotome.
Now we can afford our insurance premiums when the agent gets here next
week!"
Later that day at the Tendo Dojo.
"Here you go Ranma, some brownies and cookies for the plane,"
Kasumi handed him a bundle, smiling warmly.
"Thank you, Kasumi. I still can't believe this is happening. I
can't believe you guys packed my luggage for me before I even got
home. Why is this happening to me?"
Mr Panda lumbered in the room.
"It's your own fault," the sign said.
"Yeah, yeah pop," Ranma grumbled, " whatever".
Mr. Panda grabbed a Tea kettle and poured the contents over his head.
"I just donšt want to ----" Ranma was interrupted by the smashing
of a tea kettle in his face.
"Foolish boy! You are a disgrace to the Saotome school for
Anything goes Martial Arts. You must go or you will bring shame upon
your poor father. Oh, have I failed so miserably in bringing you up,
boy?" Tears gushed from Genma's eyes. " Oh my only son, have I
failed--- Rorwf."
Ranma stood there smiling with an empty bucket in his hand.
"What's the matter Pop, werenšt you going to say something else?"
he sneered.
"Well have a good flight Ranma," Kasumi wished cheerfully.
"Where's Akane? I canšt believe she isnšt going to say goodbye,"
he said.
"Oh, Ranma you do care about Akane", Soun cried as he hugged Ranma
fiercely, appearing out of no where.
"That is not what I meant. Who cares if that uncute tomboy says
goodbye or nothinš. Well, guess I gotta go. Bye, you guys."
Ranma grabbed his luggage and dashed out the door, not even bothering
to look back.
A figure in the dark watched as Ranma disappeared down the street.
"Oh, Ranma," Akane cried quietly her eyes still gazing after
him.
Ranma hits the flight attendant button for the third time in a
row, trying to get the images of todayšs event out of his mind.
"Where is she anyway?", Ranma-chan asks irritably, glaring at the
unconscious passenger next to her. The flight attendant ran up to
her.
"Can I help you sir," the flight attendant pauses noticing her
passengeršs gender and hair color switch, taking both in stride. "
What can I get for you, miss?"
"I just need a glass of warm water."
"Right away, miss", the flight attendant leaves and returns a few
moments later with a steaming glass of water.
"Here you go sir...I mean mašam", looking a little unsettled ,
the flight attendant walks away.
Ranma pours the cup's contents on his head and stares out the window.
"Akane, you dummy! Why didn't you say goodbye", he thinks.
"So you're hosting the new foreign exchange student? "
A teenager adjusts his glasses and looks up.
"Indeed I am, Adam."
Adam studies Billy. He wonders if it's a good idea to host a foreign
exchange student, but if Billy thinks he can do it, there is no
stopping him.
"I must rendezvous with him shortly. Would you like to accompany
me?"
"Sure, Išve got nothing better to do." He stares at his watch in
false anticipation. "Nothing yet, anyway."
Billy and Adam walk towards the car, climb in, and drive off.
"So why are you hosting, anyway? Doesn't that seem a little
dangerous, all things considered?" He glances meaningfully at Billy.
"Not necessarily. Anyway, I need to practice my Japanese.
Conversing with a Japanese native daily should empower my already
vast knowledge of the language."
"You know Japanese?" Adam asks.
"Of course I do," Billy states as he drove into the Airport
parking lot."Doesn't everyone?"
Adam stares at him in disbelief. Sometimes he just wanted to kick
that smug puppy right in the face---repeatedly and crush his glasses
into a thousand pieces while hurling him in front of a bus.
"Do you know anything about him?" he asks trying to calm down as
they left the car heading towards the entrance .
"Well, he is reputed to be a highly skilled Martial artist. His
name is Ranma Saotome."
"I wonder how good he is?," Adam pondered.
"No doubt we will uncover the answer to that mystery soon enough.
Although I doubt that his skills could possibly be any match for
ours."
Adam sighs and shakes his head, I really feel for you Ranma, he
thinks.
Ranma walks towards the exit of the plane, following the people in
front of him.
"One more hour on that plane, and I would have gone mad", Ranma
mutters. He reaches the exit and thinks, I'm finally here.
<splash>
"Jimmy, I told you to hold on to your water better! Now you got
that poor girl all wet."
"Sorry mommy."
Ranma-chan gives the boy a dirty look and treads off the runway.
She sees her name written on a sign in Japanese. A young man dressed
in a blue striped shirt and blue overalls stands next to a man wearing
black from head to toe. Both seemed to be scanning the crowd
anxiously. Ranma walks up to them and extends her hand.
"I am Ranma Saotome", she says in highly accented English.
Billy stands there looking at her for a second. "You, you are?"
Adam starts to snicker. "Ah, Billy, you lucky guy!"
Billy looks flustered for a moment but composes himself.
"< I am Billy. I am your gracious host for your stay here at Angel
Grove.>" Billy states in Japanese.
"I'm his friend, Adam. Pleased to meet you, miss."
Miss?! Ranma thinks. Oh no! I forgot. Now they think I am a girl.
This is just great.
"<Shall we get your luggage?>" Billy asks.
"<Yes.>"
Ranma grabs four huge pieces of luggage and hands them to Billy. Billy
takes them and is immediately brought to his knees.
"Strong girl", Adam remarks as he and Billy struggle to get her
luggage on a dolly.
Billy sees a note sticking out of the luggage. He pulls it out and
reads it.
< Dear Ranma,
Even though you are a half-girl pervert, I hope
you have a good time in Angel Grove. I baked you some cookies.
Akane.>
Half-girl pervert? he thinks. Maybe I am translating it wrong. He
stuffs it back into the suitcase but the note falls unnoticed to the
floor as Ranma, Billy and Adam leave
"<I am famished. Are you hungry, Ranma?>" Billy asks.
"<Yes, but Išve gotta tell you somethin'--->"
"<We will talk about whatever it is after we eat>" Billy pulls into
the parking lot of the damn diner whose name I cannot recall.
Billy, Ranma and Adam walk into the restaurant and immediately meet
two people who start waving to them.
"Rocky! Kimberly! I wish to introduce you to Ranma Saotome. She
is an exchange student all the way from Japan."
Kimberly raises her eyebrows at that last statement. From Japan? With
that red hair ? Weird, she thinks.
"Nice to meet you", she gushes as she shakes Ranmašs hand with
enthusiasm. Inwardly she thinks, shešs cuter than I am. I wonder if
that bitch wants to be on the cheerleading squad? Not if I can help
it.
They all sit down at the nearest table and order.
"So, Kimberly, what is going on between you and Tommy?" Adam
asked.
Gee aren't we nosy. What a jerk! she thinks.
"I dunno. We had a fight and then he left for that-"
she is about to say that important mission Zordon sent him on when she
takes a look at Ranma, who is busily eating a burger and continues "
urgent matter that needed to be taken care of."
"What urgent--- Oh yeah, that. Donšt worry he'll be back in a few
days", Rocky chimes in.
"Billy, would you ask Ranma how much Martial arts she knows?", Adam
asks "I'm curious ."
"<Would you spar with Adam? He heard you knew Martial Arts and is
exceedingly curious to see how good you are>". Billy smiles and looks
at the unknowing Adam.
Ranma stands up and grabs Adam.
"Sure", she says.
They both stand on the mat and bow to each other. Why is there a
place for sparring in a restaurant? she wonders as she bows to Adam.
Adam lunges for her and misses. Each time he tries to punch, she
either blocks or moves out of the way. Amazing, he thinks ,my punches
aren't even getting through. A second later Ranma flies through the
air and kicks him in the face. He is winded, but he gets up and tries
to strike her again. This time the punch lands on her face and
suddenly, she screams out. "Kachu tenshin amaguri-ken!" Adam's vision
is filled with a thousand fists punching him all at once. Adam falls
to the ground, out cold.
"Wow", Billy exclaims as he runs up to Adam in concern. " Most
impressive."
"<Sorry about that. I shouldnšt use that on an amateur. I guess I
lost my temper>,"Ranma-chan says apologetically.
" <Amateur? What do you mean amateur? Hešs one of Angel Grovešs top
Martial Artists>"
"<Well it is a small town,>" she says offhandedly to a fuming
Billy.
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"My greatest plan yet is complete!", Rita Repulsa cries, her face
twisted in an evil grin, her elaborate head piece glinting in the
scant light of her lair. "My Forgetful potion--a potent syrup that
makes you forget who you really are-- is ready for action!"
"Haven't we already tried that once?" Lord Zed asks in a tone that
is less than enthusiastic, his muscular red arms folded across his
armored chest.
"No, this one makes you forget who you are only if you have a dual
identity. If the Power Rangers were sprayed with this while they are
not in the Power Ranger costume, then they would forget that they are
Power Rangers!"
"That is wonderful, wife, but donšt you think you have been working
too much on these plots against the Rangers? You need a break."
"Shut up! if this works, there will be no more Power Rangers. Zed,
send down that idiot Goldar and the Putty Patrol to attack them in the
restaurant now while the potion is at its most potent!"
"Your wish is my command", Lord Zed waves his hands, sends the
Putty Patrol down to the restaurant and laughs maniacally.
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Ranma-chan leans over Adam, putting ice on the young manšs face.
"I sorry, Adam", she says in English.
"That's okay," Adam says as he looks up and gets a full view of her
chest. He blushes at the well-built red head. I wonder if she has a
boyfriend? he thinks.
All of a sudden Ranma, looks up. A huge, armored wolf with outspread
wings lunges towards them followed by a bunch of pale gray ghouls.
Seven against one, Ranma thinks. Not too bad odds from the look of
these guys. Billy jumps to his feet followed by Rocky , Kimberly and
a wounded Adam.
Before the others could do anything, Ranma knocks out all the puttys
and pulls back her fist to hit Goldar. As Ranma's fist begins to fly,
Goldar made a last ditch effort to pour the powder on the teenagers
behind Ranma; however, its contents never make it over Ranma's
shoulder and douse her instead.
"Whoops", Goldar mutters, "Rita isn't going to like this."
Ranmašs fist smashes into Goldaršs nose, and Goldar soars across the
room, slamming into the far wall.
Ranma stumbles twice, glances at Billy and says "< I don't feel so
well.>" Ranma passes out.
Billy looks at her and says, "We better take her to Zordon to see what
Goldar did to her."
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Billy, Adam, Rocky and Kimberly are now standing in the command center
looking over an unconscious Ranma.
"I have done a complete scan on her", Zordon says.
Billy looks at the huge green head floating in front of him . "What
has Goldar afflicted her with?"
"The Forgetful Potion. It only works on people with dual
personalities, meaning that if she has another identity she will have
forgotten it. But I donšt think we have to worry about that. Ritašs
plan has failed."
"Wow, that would mean if it hit us, we would have forgotten we were
Power Rangers!" Kimberly exclaimed
"Your observations never cease to astound me", Billy says.
"I know," Kimberly grins, failing to catch the sarcastic note in
his voice.
"You better take her home Billy", Adam says "before she wakes up".
Zordon teleports the four teens down to their homes on earth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
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"Where the hell am I?"a young man carrying a backpack and a bamboo
umbrella asks himself.
He notices a High School to his left. Maybe this is Fuhrinken high
School, he thinks
Oh, the hell he had to endure to get here. First, there was that
abandoned park full of high tech machinery on some weird island with
huge lizards that resembled dinosaurs. He got a close up look at the
sharp-toothed maw of a really big one that attacked him. He almost
lost that fight, and was lucky to escape it with only a few minor
injuries. Then there was that weird family that wouldnšt leave him
alone. Some family named Addams. Of course, it didnšt help that he
couldnšt find his way out of the house, especially in his pig form.
When he finally got back to his human form, they still wanted to keep
him as a pet. Heck, the lizards were less scary. Then that last
place was a cloud filled place with little colored bears with
different tattoos on their bellies. They kept telling him how much
they cared. Too bad they depressed him to the point that he did a
full shi shi hokodan on them.
"<Ranma Saotome this is all your fault!>" he screams. People who
pass by him give him an odd look and hurry onto the school grounds.
"<Excuse me where is Fuhrinken High School?>" he asks as he picks
up a student by the collar.
"What?"the guy asks.
Uh-oh, English, he thinks, this is not a good sign.
"Where am I?" he asks in slightly accented English this time.
"Angel grove high School", he responds.
"Where is Angel Grove ?"
The guy looks at him in disbelief, but decides to humor him
"California, USA".
"Thank you", he drops the boy on the floor and starts to trudge
off when he hears a familiar voice.
"Come on Billy we are going to be late!"
"Ranma!?!?" Ryoga cries. He turns his head in the direction of the
voice, and, sure enough, it is Ranma in his female guise.
Ryoga flies through the air and lands in front of Ranma.
"<Ranma Saotome!! I will finally have my revenge. Today is the
day I defeat you--->"
he raises his umbrella and grins showing his fangs to Ranma and his
spectacle-wearing friend.
"<Hello Ryoga. Nice to see you. Are you going to be an exchange
student here, too? That would be really great. This is my friend
Billy. He is hosting me while I stay here in America.>" Ranma smiles.
"<Of course not, you idiot! I have come here to fight you. Today I
is the day I cast you into a pit of never ending sorrow as payment for
my sufferings!>˛ he shouts belligerently.
"<Why would we fight Ryoga? >"
"<You know why. I have suffered a thousand hells because of
you!>"
"<Why are you picking on her?>" Billy demands.
"Shut Up! Stay out of this you! This is a man to man fight."
Ryoga barks in English.
"< Man to man? What are you talking about?>" Billy stops short
when he realizes that Ryoga probably doesn't speak the best English
and is just mixed up.
"<Ryoga, would you like a brownie? I baked some this morning>"
Ryoga slightly puzzled grabs one of the brownies. What is wrong with
Ranma?, he thinks. First of all, he hasnšt once insulted me or
called me P-chan. He didn't even seem to give off any battle aura.
Ryoga glances back at Ranma when he notices it. Ranma is wearing a
dress. He shed is favorite red Chinese shirt in favor of a dress! Is
that lipstick Ranmašs wearing?
"What the hell is wrong with Ranma? What did you do to him?"
Ryoga turns on the guy standing next to Ranma.
"What do you mean what did I do to HIM? I did nothing to her!˛
Billy says defensively.
"Excuse me, I want to speak with Ranma alone", Ryoga grabs Ranma
and moves away.
"<Ranma what is going on?>"
"<What do you mean?>"
"<Youšre not acting like yourself.>"
"<Of course I am. how are girls supposed to act?>"
"<You are not a girl!>"
"<Yes I am. Donšt be silly. Look at me, of course I am a girl.>"
"<Don't you remember Jusenkyo?>"
"<Should I? Listen Ryoga, I am going to be late for school. Wait
for me and we will talk later.>"
Ranma scurries off to class leaving behind a thoroughly confused
Ryoga. This did not look good to him. Ranma must be joking. But
what if he wasn't? If Ranma really thinks he is a girl than he owed
it to Akane to make sure that idiot was protected in this vulnerable
state. It was his duty to stay in Angel Grove. Besides there was no
honor in defeating Ranma in this weak form.
--
Next--
Wait Kimberly falls for Ryoga?
Ryoga vs Goldar?
Ryoga vs Zordon?
Huh?