Caroline Seawright <kunoichi@atcafe.com.au> writes:

      Hi hi, it's me again! Anyway, I wanted to ask some less than
cherrful question/questions. When ppl in Japan visit late relatives
(or fiancees, in this case), what do they do? What is the grave like?
Is it any different from the American culture? (Anyone that's
asking, this is for AOFA)

In Ranma manga 22, Akane and everyone else goes to visit her mother's
grave... The graves seem to be tall rectangular tombstones with kanji
on the, going downwards, and Akane places a bunch of flowers at the
base of the stone. All the graves are really close to the next one,
too. It looks like they are burning incense, and Kasumi is sprinkling
water(?) on the top of the stone from a hand held water scoop... or
that's what it looks like. You should look in a book on shintoism or
something like that... maybe it's bhuddist? I can't recall...

Of course, things are going to vary from place to place, but in Hawaii...

Connected plots that are of family are typically cast with a concrete pad.  
Individual plots have a raised block (prob. concrete) topped by a slightly 
smaller raised block (prob. black granite) topped by a headstone (prob. black 
granite) that has the "vital information" written on it [in Hawaii its 
probably both in kanji and english].  In front of the stones there is a small 
concrete block consisting of two upright hollow end pieces and a central block 
with a small "tray" on the top.  The two end pieces are designed to hold 
flowers or water jars for flowers while the center piece is to place the lit 
incense sticks (senko?).  Forgive my poor art sample.

                     ___
                    /         \     <===== Headstone (writing goes here)
                 _|            |______
               / _|            |__        /|
              / /  |_____|    /|      / |
            / /________ / /    /   |
          /  |_________|/    /    /  <===== Raised blocks are centered
        /_____________/    /
       |                                |  /
       |______________|/
            ________
           (_)____ (_)
           |_|_____|_| <==== flower holder, incense tray, flower holder

A thought suddenly hit me while writing this message - If you check out the 
Maison Ikkoku (Viz) Graphic Novel #1 there is a scene where Kyoko, the 
Otonashis, and Yusaku go to visit Kyoko's husband's grave.  Its all much 
clearer there.

JK