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Well, here I go again.

Todd Hill writes:

 > thought  to himself as he approached Ranma.  Ranma was  busy
 > flipping   through  a  stack  of  old  National   Geographic
 > magazines when the vendor tapped him on the shoulder.

Instead of National Geographic magazines, how about the ancient Atom
comic books? ^_^;

 >       Ranma  panicked slightly.  `Kuno shouldn't  have  been
 > able  to touch that kick.  What the hell's happened  to  me?
 > Was the move telegraphed or something?'
                ^^^^^^^^^^^
I have this funny feeling that you meant choreographed".

 > haven't used that gi in nearly a year.  We can fix that
 > after we get through practicing," she commisserated.
                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This should be "commiserated" (single s).

 >      Ranko stood on her tiptoes so that she and Ranma were
 > nose-to-nose.  "Let's get one thing straight big brother.
 > Yeah I'm a girl, but I'm also a martial artist, and it's a
 > Goddamn insult to me when you hold yourself back."  Ranma's
 > eyes widened when she said that.  Angry, she continued.
 > "How dare you say that I can't defend myself from you, or
 > any guy, simply because I'm female?  You make it sound like
 > I haven't ever taken martial arts seriously.  What the hell
 > gives you the right..."  A lone tear worked its way free
 > from her reddened eyes, and wound its way down her cheek.
 > Angrily she swiped away the tear.  "Thanks a lot, Ranma,"
 > she spat visciously.

I wouldn't think Ranko would cry. Angry, yes, but cry, no. (Unless she
was acting. :)

 >      Ranma shook his head and berated himself for his
 > behavior.  Tenatively he reached his hand out and grabbed
              ^^^^^^^^^^
This should be "Tentatively".

 >      Ranko couldn't help herself, and busted out laughing.
                                         ^^^^^^
"busted"? Wouldn't "bursted" be more natural?

 >       That  earned  a  stare from his sister.   "You  looked
 > exactly like me?  How would you know that?"
 >       "Well you *did* flash me with the towel.  It was kinda
 > hard  not  to  notice, Ranko."  Now it was Ranko's  turn  to

Don't forget the bathroom! ^_^;

- -- 
Yoo Chul Chung
School of Electrical Engineering, Seoul National University
E-mail: wacko@power1.snu.ac.kr,	Webpage: http://dosa3.snu.ac.kr/~wackoen
Finger wackoen@dosa1.snu.ac.kr or e-mail me for PGP public key


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