This is by no means final, I'm just posting the first
part up here sohose that haven't read it before can, and
because I need someone to check for grammatical eeors and that
sort of thing.
BTW, anyone that hasn't rad this before, after the
first ten chapters or so I find a new source of sadness.
(( felt like my story was too clicheyis, so I changed the focus)
Have fun!
A Once and Future Akane, part 1
Chapter 1
[Morning, the Tendo Dojo]
Akane: (Thrusting a lunch box to Nabiki) Here, oneechan!
Nabiki: Akane! (Looking at the lunch box) You didn't, uh,
cook this, did you? (Akane nods happily)
Akane: Enjoy! (Drops it into Nabiki's hands, and runs off,
another lunch box in her arms) Ranma!
Nabiki: (Looking at it carefully) How could I use this to my
advantage...? (Some yells are heard from the hallway,
obviously Ranma is objecting to Akane's hard work)
Akane: I woke up extra early to make this! You can't say no!
Ranma: Do you hate me so much that you're trying to kill me?!
Akane: BAKA! (A smashing sound is heard, and she stomps
back into the porch. Her hands are empty except for a
backpack) C'mon, oneechan, let's not wait for Ranma.
(Nabiki goes along, seeing it's better not to bother Akane
right now)
(Cut to hallway, where Ranma is lying on the ground, his hands
in 'hurt' sign, leg twitching and the shattered remains of his lunch
made by Akane lunch around him)
[Akane and Nabiki walking to school]
Akane: *Baka baka baka baka baka baka ba-*
Nabiki: What, mad at Ranma again?
Akane: (Brisquly) Of course I am!
Nabiki: What did he do this time?
Akane: You heard us; he refused to eat the lunch I worked hard
at making!
Nabiki: I thought you'd look happy.
Akane: Why's that?
Nabiki: To quote Kuno, 'Happiness lies solely in cooking for the
man she loves'.
Akane: What are you trying to say?
Nabiki: Why, that you're happy when you're cooking for Ranma.
Akane: AM NOT! And I don't cook only for Ranma! I cook for
you, and Kasumi, and dad, and Ryoga-
Nabiki: So you love Ryoga then?
Akane: Of course I don't love him!
Voice: Nihao! (A bicycle ridden by Shampoo appears out of
nowhere, She looks around, confused) Where Ranma?
Akane: He, uh, went to Kuno's mansion.
Shampoo: Really? Why he go?
Akane: (Bored) He's going to marry Kodachi.
Shampoo: AIYAA!! Shampoo go stop wedding! (Pedals off
screen, swishing some leaves around the two Tendo sisters)
Nabiki: *cough* *cough* You're not in a good mood today,
are you?
Akane: (Agreeing with her) Not at all.
[Midday, Lunch at school]
Nabiki: Oh, Kuno-baby...
Kuno: And for what do you seek me out today,
Nabiki Tendo?
Nabiki: Kuno, I've got the best deal for you.
Kuno: I am not interested.
Nabiki: Oh, I guess then that you don't want this lunch that Akane
made for you.
Kuno: Lunch? For me? Made by the hands of the beauteous
Tendo Akane?
Nabiki: Yeah, but she was too shy to give it herself, so she
asked me to give it to you instead.
Kuno: Ah, how long have I awaited this day; when Akane
would realize her love for the great Kuno Tatewaki!
The joy is almost too grand for even myself to bear!
Nabiki: (Giving his the lunch box) Here. Enjoy.
(Kuno takes it, and starts eating joyfully)
Girl: What? You didn't ask him to pay for it?
Nabiki: Believe me, this may be one of my better ideas.
I'll get paid soon enough. (Akane walks into classroom)
Akane? What are you doing here?
Akane: I've come to see how you're (Looks over at Kuno,
her voice slowly dropping) liking... my... lunch.... (Looks a
little longer) Nabiki, what's Kuno doing with my lunch?
Nabiki: Well,-
Kuno: (Clutching at stomach) Tendo Akane, can it be that you
have come to relish in my presence? I must be truly blessed today!
(Turns a little green) If you would excuse me but for a moment.
(To Nabiki) I do not want to ask you for this, but are you carrying
any stomach antacid? It appears one of my sister's poisons is only
now taking eff- (Akane hits him with a desk)
Akane: You _sold_ my lunch to _Kuno_? It was for you, not that
idiot! (Really upset now) Why doesn't ANYBODY appreciate the
hard work I put into making your lunches!
Kuno: (Awake now) Tendo Akane, I thank you for- (Akane steps
on his face, leaving a footprint mark)
Ranma: Because you can't cook.
Akane: (Boots him) Don't sneak up on me!
Ranma: (Flipping midair) It's true, though. Until you learn
how to cook, no one's ever going to want to eat it.
Akane: How will you know how good it is until you try it!
Ranma: (Pointing to Kuno with his thumb) He look too healthy
to you?
Akane: Why you- (Takes a desk and _REALLY_ smashes him)
If you hate my lunches so much, why don't you just leave me alone!
(Throws a beat-up Ranma out the window, and stomps out the room)
Ranma: (Bruised and dented. The bell rings, signing the end of lunch)
Yay. (Hears an eerie laughter) Huh?
Kodachi: Ho ho ho ho! Ranma-sama, I'm so happy! I'd love
to marry you!
Ranma: What are you talking about?!
Kodachi: Why, I heard it from one of my nemesis today
that you are going to my mansion to wed me!
Ranma: I'm doing no such thing!
Voice: _WHAT_ is this?
Ranma: (Thought) Not Akane, please not Akane... (Turns
around to see Ukyou) Uh oh.
Ukyou: Ranma, how can you go off and marry Kodachi?
Don't you love _me_?
Kodachi: Ranma-sama is all mine now! (Grabs one of his arms)
Ukyou: (Narrowing eyes) Let go of him, Kodachi.
Voice: No take husband!
Ranma: (Thought) Please don't it be Akane or Shampoo.
(Another person takes his other arm. It's Shampoo)
Shampoo: Evil girl no marry Ranma!. Already married Shampoo!
Kodachi: Don't use your amazon laws on me, you savage hussy!
He wants to marry me!
Shampoo: You know no what talking about! He already
claim love to me!
Kodachi: Only in your dreams.
Ranma: Could you two, uh, let go of me?
Shampoo and Kodachi: NO!
Ukyou: (Seeing things are getting out of hand)
C'mon you two, you're not going to get anywhere
by pulling Ranchan apart. (They continue arguing)
All right, you asked for this! (Takes out her
spatula and hits Shampoo, then Kodachi,
who were too busy fighting to notice)
Ranma: Er, thanks Ucchan.
Ukyou: (Helping him up) So what was this about
you marrying Kodachi?
Ranma: (Irritated) Where on earth did you get the
idea that I'M MARRYING KODACHI?! (Akane
walks out of the school, just in time to hear the last bit)
Ranma starts waving his hands wildly) Akane, it's not
what you think!
Akane: Marrying Kodachi, huh? (Picks up Shampoo's bonbori)
Well, don't let ME get in your way to happiness!
(Bashes Ranma's head, hmphs, and stomps back to where
her friends are)
[The scene fades with Ukyou shaking her head while picking up
Ranma]
[After school, shopping district]
Akane: *Ranma, you jerk! I'll cook something so good
that not even you could say a bad thing about it!* (Hugs the
grocery bag she's holding, and we hear metal being squeezed)
Kasumi: (Also holding a grocery bag) Akane, please don't hold
the bags so tightly, you might crush the cans again.
Akane: ...
Kasumi: Oh my, isn't that Ranma by the fountain? (Looks to a
person sitting on the edge of a fountain)
Akane: That guy? I don't think s- wait a minute,
it is him.
(He's wearing a purple Chinese shirt, instead
of the red one he had on that morning. His
braid is not supporting itself in mid-air as it
usually is, it's hanging down like any normal
braid would. Almost as if he was depressed.
His head can barely be seen, it's hanging
down so low)
Kasumi: (Waving) Ranma, will you help us
carry these groceries?
Ranma: .... (No response; as if he hadn't
heard her)
Kasumi: Ranma?
Akane: Hey, you lame-brain, my sister's asking
you to come help us carry these bags! (Ranma's
shoulders seemed to tense at the sound of
Akane's voice. Slowly, he turns to look at their
direction. His eyes widen)
Ranma: A.... Akane?
Akane: (Irately) If you don't wan to help us,
then say so!
Ranma: (Shaking his head in disbelief)
Is it really you?
Akane: (Angrier now) I'm not Megumi Hayashibara,
if that's what you mean.
Ranma: No... it can't be.... (Starts walking backwards,
and falls into the fountain, and the clonck of his head
hitting concrete is heard)
Kasumi: Oh, my.
Akane: Ranma!
[Scene fades as Akane dropping her groceries and
running to the fountain.]
Chapter 2
[Afternoon, Ranma's room]
Akane: (Checking Ranma-chan's forehead, who's laid
out on his futon, unconscious)
(Memory)
Ranma: Akane... it can't be you... (Falling into fountain
behind him)
(End memory)
Akane: *What's gotten into you, Ranma? Did
I hit you so hard that I you got even more brain damage?*
(Looks at the still Ranma-chan) *Please be all right.*
Nabiki: (From the doorway) So, what did you do Ranma now?
Akane: I didn't do anything! The idiot's putting up some act to
annoy me.
Nabiki: You sure you didn't do anything more to him than to
smash his head with a desk?
Akane: Well, I hit him with one of Shampoo's bonbori because
I thought he said he was going to marry Kodachi.
Nabiki: (Looking at her strangely) Weren't you the one that said that?
Akane: (Blushes) Ah, shuddap Nabiki.
Nabiki: (Shrugging) Your mistake, not mine. And by the way,
from what Kasumi's told me, I don't think Ranma's pretending this
time. He's a lousy actor, especially when he's angry. Ja ne. (Leaves)
Akane: (Muttering) Aw, what does she know? (Brushing
some hair off Ranma-chan's forehead)...
Ranma-chan: (Blinking) Hmmm. (Akane quickly pulls her
hand away. Ranma-chan puts her arms under her head,
starring up into the ceiling) Thanks, Kasumi.
Akane: -
Ranma-chan: (Sadly) I thought I saw Akane just now. I
wish I'd stop ding her, it's annoying. Seems like my mind
can't get over the fact that she's gone now.
Akane: (Surprised) ....
Ranma-chan: I wonder why I do that. (Smirking) Maybe
I want to tell her I feel, even though it's too late?
Akane: (This is too much for her) What the hell are you
talking about!
Ranma-chan: (Pales, and jumps about twenty feet backwards)
NO! Not _ you_ again!
Akane: What's wrong with you, Ranma? Have you gotten
a phobia against me, too?
Ranma-chan: (Slowly nodding her head) Ohhhhhh, now I get it!
You're Nabiki, dressing up as Akane! (Sits on the futon, leaning
towards Akane) Well, Nabiki, let me tell you this: THIS IS NOT
FUNNY! STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH ME! I HAVE
FEELINGS TOO, YOU KNOW!
Akane: (Drives fist into his head) Could Nabiki hit you as hard
as this?
Ranma-chan: (Rubbing her head) Geez, Nabiki, you
really put some effort into making yourself like Akane,
I've got to hand it to you. You might be able to
fool Kuno, but it ain't gonna work on me!
Akane: Idiot! Do I look like Nabiki to you?
Ranma-chan: (Looking closer) No, but I know what
sort of stuff you can pull out of your bag. Doesn't make
sense, though. Why are you trying so hard to hurt me,
anyway?
Akane: (Pointing to her face) This is _REAL_. This is
NOT a mask.
Ranma-chan: (Touching her chin) Where'd you get this
stuff, Nabi- (Akane punches her again)
Akane: What do you think you're doing?!
Nabiki: (Walking by the doorway) Fighting again?
Ranma-chan: (Looks at Nabiki) Ga.... (Looks at Nabiki)
Ba.... (Keeps switching her head to look at both. She stops)
AH! Who's trying so hard to trick me?!
Nabiki: What's with him?
Akane: Don't ask me.
Ranma-chan: (Wailing) Why do you keep asking what's wrong
with _me_?! You're the ones that keep bothering me with
fake Akanes! Can't you get it into your heads, that she's
GONE?!?
Nabiki: I think he's lost it.
Akane: (Nodding) Hmm.
Nabiki: I've better things to do than to stick around with a
lunatic and his fiancee. Ta ta.
Akane: Wait, oneechan, don't leave me alone with him! (Too late)
Ranma-chan: Who are you, anyway?
Akane: I'm Akane. A-ka-ne. Got a problem with that?
Ranma-chan: Yes.
Akane: (Throws her hands up in the air) What makes you think
I'm 'gone'?
Ranma-chan: I'd rather not talk about it.
Akane: (Impatient) Ranma, this joke went stale a long
time ago.
Ranma-chan: That's what _I_ should be saying! (Her
eyes get a little wet) It's hard enough as it is! I don't need
you guys rubbing it in my face that I was never nice to
her. I've apologized to her ten billion times! And I'll do it
again! Just leave me alone already!
Akane: (Trying a different approach) Look, Ranma.
What about me looks like I'm somebody else?
Ranma-chan: (Miserably) Nothing. You look just like her.
Akane: (Gently) Ok then, why do you think I'm not Akane?
Ranma-chan: It's impossible. It's completely and totally
impossible.
Akane: *God I want to knock some sense
into him! But that won't work, all I can do right
now is go on like this and hope to figure out what's
going on in his loony head. The I'll whap him. Good 'n' hard.*
(Silence)
Ranma-chan: This is all a dream, isn't? It has to be.
Akane: (Relieved that she could find something to say)
That's right, Ranma. All a dream. EEE! (Ranma-chan
hugs her)
Ranma-chan: You don't mind, do you?
Akane: (Red, either from anger or embarrassment)
N-n-n-o, this is just a dream, right? *Soon
as I find out what's wrong with him I'm gonna punch
him sky-high.*
Ranma-chan: (Happily) I'm happy you're here, Akane.
Even if it's just a dream. Sorry I was always so mean to
you.
Akane: T-think nothing of it.
Ranma-chan: (Looking up into her eyes, softly) No, really
Akane. Please forgive me for every mean and jerky thing
that I've ever done to you.
Akane: *Ranma, don't think you're going to get
away with this...*
Ranma-chan: (Her face is really close to Akane's) Akane, I-
Voice: What the?! (Both Akane and Ranma-chan look and
the person in the doorway. They both look incredibly
confused)
Ranma: What do you think you two are doing?! (Yep, that's
right! It's Ranma! This one though, is wearing the red
Chinese shirt, and has the bruises he gained that morning)
Akane: (Surprised/angry) ....
Ranma-chan: (Surprised) ....!
Ranma: (Furious) Well?!?
Chapter 3
Akane: (Looking from one Ranma to another) Why you-!
(Slaps the one that's hugging her)
Ranma: (Grabs Ranma-chan by her collar) What do you
think you doing with Akane?!
Ranma-chan: What is all this? (Grabs Ranma's collar as well)
Who are you?
Akane: That's what we want to know!
Ranma-chan: Akane, don't tell me you believe
that this is me!
Akane: Ranma would never do what you were
just doing!
Ranma-chan: Fine then! (Gets into a fighting
stance) Whoever wins is the real Ranma.
Ranma: Sorry, I don't hit girls. Not even those
sick enough to dress up like me to score with
Akane.
Ranma-chan: (Angry) I'm a _guy_!
Akane: You sure look like one.
Ranma-chan: Oh, be quiet. (Takes kettle by
the side of her futon, and pours it over herself.
Instant Ranma)
Purple-Ranma: Now you wanna fight?
Akane: *That's a some costume...*
Red-Ranma: (Surprised) You're also cursed?
Purple-Ranma: Whaddya mean, ALSO cursed!
I'm the real Ranma!
Red-Ranma: No! I am!
Purple-Ranma: No, it's me!
Akane: (Rolling her eyes) Both of you are idiots.
Red-Ranma: She's right! We have to- (Realizes
what he just said) Hey, I didn't mean that!
Purple-Ranma: Now are we going to
fight or not?
Red-Ranma: Right. Let's fight!
Akane: (Tears in her eyes) No, please, don't!
Purple-Ranma: Don't worry, Akane, I won't get
hurt.
Red-Ranma: Heh, he doesn't know what he's saying.
I'll win.
Akane: (Shaking her head in frustration) But if you
fight inside, you'll tear the room apart! (Both fall over)
Red-Ranma: (Getting up) It's nice to know I have such
a caring fiancee.
Akane: (Coldly) We don't care about our engagement,
remember?
Red-Ranma: That's right! You could jump into
'sping of drowned ant' and I wouldn't care less!
Purple-Ranma: (Waving his hands) Hey, you two...
Akane: You should have fallen into nyannichuan more
than once! That way, you'd have been a girl permanently
and we would have never been engaged!
Red-Ranma: It'd be more fitting for you to fall
into nannichaun, since it's impossible to tell
that you're a girl anyway!
Purple-Ranma: HEY!
Red-Ranma: What do you want?
Akane: Talk to us later, we're busy fighting.
Purple-Ranma: Darn, was I always so obvious
about it?
Red-Ranma: So obvious about what?
Purple-Ranma: That Akane and I got the hots
for each other.
Akane: NANI?! I'd rather marry Gosunkugi
to that aquatransexual!
Red-Ranma: Give me Kuno over that kawaiikune
girl any day! (Akane punches Red-Ranma)
Purple-Ranma: What ever happened to the fight
we were gonna have?
Kasumi: (Peeking inside) Mind if I come in?
Akane: Go right on ahead, oneechan.
Kasumi: Thank you. (Enters with tray) I came
to check on you, and also thought you might like a
snack. (Looks at the two Ranmas) Oh, how cute!
Are Ryoga and Ranma playing 'twins', Akane?
Akane: Uh, yeah, that's it.
Kasumi: (Smiling) You look exactly alike! I'll have
to ask Nabiki to take a picture. Please don't get out
of your costumes yet. (Leaves room)
Red-Ranma: (Looking at Purple-Ranma, hand on his
chin) Are you Ryoga?
Purple-Ranma: Huh?
Akane: That wouldn't make sense, Ranma. Use your
head for once.
Red-Ranma: No, really! All though Kasumi isn't good
at, well, ah, getting the whole picture, she can see
little details that others usually don't notice.
Akane: Hey, you're right! (Hastily) For once.
Purple-Ranma: Time-out, time-out! I can't be Ryoga!
You both saw me change! Ryoga turns into a-, I mean
Ryoga isn't cursed.
Red-Ranma: So? Knowing your sense of direction,
you probably went to Juusenkyo and fell into nyannichuan.
P-chan: (Coming in through the window, and seeing the
two Ranmas) BWEEE!
Akane: P-chan! (Picks him up) Ah, something familiar
in all this madness. (Red-Ranma picks up P-chan by the tail)
Hey, what do you think you're doing?! (P-chan claws
Ranma's face out, and jumps back into Akane's arms)
Purple-Ranma: That's him, all right.
Red-Ranma: So if you aren't Ryoga....
Akane: How do you know that he isn't Ryoga?
Red-Ranma: Trust me on this one, Akane.
(Akane looks at Ranma with disbelief, but
keeps her mouth shut, at least on that topic.)
Akane: All right then, who are you?
Purple-Ranma: I'm RAN-MA, you dim-witted girl!
(Clamps his hand over his mouth) Oh! Sorry about
that, Akane.
Kasumi: (From the hallway) Really, Nabiki, it's very
convincing. I nearly couldn't tell the difference!
Nabiki: Whatever, Kasumi. But I'll take a look any-
(Both enter the room. Nabiki's chin drops, takes
out her handy camera and starts taking pictures)
Purple-Ranma: Do you think you're in a zoo, Nabiki?
Nabiki: (Still clicking away) What's your point?
Sometimes I think I live in a loony bin.
Red-Ranma: What are you going to those with
those pictures anyway?
Nabiki: I dunno. But I'm sure I'll think of something.
Akane: (Annoyed) Will you stop that? We've got a
crisis here, and all you can think about is taking pictures!
We've got to think about how we're going to
afford these two!
Red-Ranma: Gee Akane, you're sure know how to
make someone feel right at home.
Akane: Can I help it if you're such a pig?
Red-Ranma: 'Least I'm not as bad as Ryoga.
(P-chan squeals angrily)
Nabiki: (Puts camera away) For now, whoever
isn't the real Ranma will have to pay for his food
and rent. (The two Ranmas get a drop of sweat
at that prospect. They both immediately start
fighting each other, with yells of 'I'm Ranma!'
'No you're not!')
Kasumi: Watch out for that vase. (The vase
get smashed) Oh my.
Nabiki: (Watching the fight) So whoever
wins is Ranma?
Akane: For the time being, yeah.
(By now the room, as Akane predicted, is
completely ruined. There are holes in the wall,
things thrown all over the floor, and windows
smashed. The two Ranmas are worn; it's been an
even fight)
Red-Ranma: (Wiping off sweat on his forehead)
Heh. You're not too bad. But this is where it ends!
(Red-Ranma runs to Purple-Ranma, his fist
extended)
Purple-Ranma: Hey, that's my line! (Tries to block
the punch, while kicking at the same time. The
fist hits Purple-Ranma's head, and the foot makes
contact with Red-Ranma's stomach. The two just
stand for awhile, and then they both fall to the
floor at the same time)
Akane: A... tie?
Nabiki: Guess that settles that.
Kasumi: I'd better start cleaning up.
[Scene fades with Kasumi sweeping the room with a broom
she pulled out of nowhere, humming to some unknown tune.
Akane is looking for another first aid kit, muttering something
about 'One is enough trouble as it is'. Nabiki just investigates
the two bodies, taking a snapshot every so often. P-chan does
NOT look happy.]
Chapter 4
[Darkness]
Voice1: I didn't have anything to do with this!
Voice2: Oh, sure, Ranma. I believe you.
Voice1: Oh yeah, like I really know how to make
a look-a-like of me appear out of nowhere.
Voice2: So tell me who else would have done it!
Voice3: C'mon you two, we'll just wait 'till the
other one wakes up.
Voice4: I think he's blinking.
Voice1: Wake up already!
Voice5: Ranma-chan! (We hear a splash of water,
and suddenly, we're thrown out of the darkness
and into the Tendo porch. Happosai is happily
glomping onto Ranma-chan's chest) Oh Ranma-chan!
It's been so long since I've la-
Ranma-chan: EEEE! GETTA OFFA ME!!
(Punts Happosai into *LEO)
*LEO- Low Earth Orbit
Ranma-chan: What a way to wake up.
(Turns to rest of table, and starts looking at everyone
there. She stops at Mr. Tendo)
(Thought) That's weird, why isn't uncle crying his eyes
out? (Her eyes move on) In fact, why isn't he in his roo-
(Sees Akane) AHHHH! Presses against a wall) Why
am I still here?!
Nabiki: Still here?
Akane: Does that mean you came here on purpose?
Red-Ranma: What are you doing here?
Ranma-chan: (Plopping down, and growling with
impatience) I don't know! I thought this was just a drea-
(Remembers what she had just been doing) Hey, wait,
I just won that match with the fake! That proves that
I'm Ranma!
Red-Ranma: Who's a fake?
Ranma-chan: I'm sure that even your brain capacity
isn't that low.
Red-Ranma: Actually, _I_ won.
Ranma-chan: No you didn't! I knocked you out first!
Nabiki: How pointless.
Akane: Why don't you just ask us? (The two Ranmas
look sheepish)
Kasumi: It was a tie, wasn't it?
Red-Ranma: A....
Ranma-chan: ...tie?
Red-Ranma and Ranma-chan: NO WAY!
Red-Ranma: He can't be me!
Akane: (Directing it to Red-Ranma) Either that, or
you'll have to admit there's somebody that's as
good as you.
Ranma-chan: Hey, aren't I Ranma?!
Akane: (Now to Ranma-chan) Sorry, but I can't
believe that Ranma would ever do what you were
doing back there.
Nabiki: (Interested) Oooh, what sort of hot stuff
were you doing, Ranma?
Red-Ranma: Hey, that's none of your buisn-
Nabiki: Which one of you were back there?
Red-Ranma: He was.
Nabiki: So let's hear it from him! (To Ranma-chan)
Or are you to embarrassed to say what it was?
Akane: (Blushing) Aw, Nabiki, it isn't all that important.
Ranma-chan: Akane, it's not that hard to tell them that
I was going to say that I love you.
(Silence)
Red-Ranma: (Blushing terribly) What do you think you're doing?!
You can't be me! (Everybody by now is busy chattering)
Soun: (Crying) Oh, how long I've waited for this day! Boo hoo...
Kasumi: (Smiling) How sweet of you, Ranma.
Nabiki: (Leaning towards Akane) Happy now, sis?
Genma-panda: {We can finally arrange the marriage!}
Akane: (Blushing) Hey, don't _I_ get a say in this?
Nabiki: It's what you wanted, right?
Akane: (Still red) ....
Red-Ranma: Now _HOLD_ on a minute! (Surprisingly
enough, they all stop talking, 'cept for Soun who keeps
babbling) (Pointing to Ranma-chan) This guy just comes
outta nowhere, says a few magic words, doesn't act a
_thing_ like me and now you're just gonna let him marry
Akane?! I DON'T THINK SO!
Nabiki: Well, you have been saying for nearly a year now
that you don't want to have a thing to do with her. So why
change your mind now?
Ranma-chan: Well, even if he doesn't mind, I do.
(Silence)
Akane: Why?
Red-Ranma: Are you finally going to admit that you're only
faking?
Ranma-chan: (Annoyed) No! (Serious) I don't know how
this happened, but I don't think I'm from this world. Either
that or you're all playing a trick on me to marry some fake
Akane.
Nabiki: Why do you think that?
Ranma-chan: I've already said why, it's impossible
for her to be here.
Akane: (Sarcastic) Oh, that sure clears things up.
Ranma-chan: Look, something happened in my
world, and it's impossible to have Akane just
sitting and chatting calmly.
Red-Ranma: Does it have to do with anything with
why you're always so scared to see Akane?
Akane: And why you kept saying that I'm 'gone'?
Ranma-chan: ....
Red-Ranma and Akane: Well?
Ranma-chan: ....
On July 15-
Akane: Er, Ranma? Today is July 1.
Ranma-chan: (Surprised) No it isn't. (Akane points to a
calendar. July 1 is circled) Eh?
Akane: Sure it wasn't some other day?
Ranma-chan: (Angry and upset) Are you trying to say
that I don't remember the date of the most important day
of my life?
Red-Ranma: Most important day of your life?... Wouldn't
that be finding a cure?
Akane: When you got cursed?
Genma-panda: {I know, the day you married Akane!}
(Red-Ranma whacks his father's head)
Nabiki: Isn't the most important day of your life supposed
to be the day you're born?
Soun: Well, son, what's so important about July 15?
Ranma-chan: (Remembering, getting teary) That's... that's
the day...
Red-Ranma: The day...
Ranma-chan: The day Akane... (Says something so softly
no one can hear)
Akane: I what?
Ranma-chan: (Lowering her head) You died.
All: (Stunned) ....
Chapter 5
(Not a body in the room is moving, they're all too
surprised to move. Four, five minutes pass. All
that can be heard during this lapse of time are the
low sniffles coming from Ranma-chan, and the
ticking of a nearby clock. Akane is the first to recover)
Akane: (Softly) You... you let me die, Ranma? Just like
that?
Ranma-chan: I'm-I'm sorry. But there wasn't anything
I could do.
Red-Ranma: (Slowly and deliberately) You let Akane
die, and you say that you love her?
Ranma-chan: Remember now, we're the same person.
Red-Ranma: That doesn't mean I'll make the same stupid
mistake you did! I'd never let _anything_ kill Akane.
Akane: Well, you obviously did, didn't you?
Red-Ranma: Whaddya mean? You're still alive, aren't you?
Akane: Yeah, but I'm not going to be in 14 days!
(Silence again)
Nabiki: So how did this happen, Ranma?
Red-Ranma: How am I supposed to now?
Akane: The other one, you dork!
Ranma-chan: Well, like I said it happened July 15 but it
really started a couple of days before...
[The scene fades away, and we're bought into the Tendo Dojo,
late morning]
Akane: (Dressed in a gi, practicing some kicks)
Hyah! (The jingle of a bicycle bell is rung, and
Akane immediately moves to the left, where
Shampoo and her bike lands)
Shampoo: Nih-, oh, is only violent tomboy.
Akane: (Flatly) Hi, Shampoo.
Shampoo: Shampoo have no business with Akane,
I want to see Nabiki. Where is she?
Akane: Don't know, probably in her room. Why?
Shampoo: Is none your business. Have much
to do, no time to talk to violent tomboys.
(Zooms off)
Akane: I am NOT a violent tomboy! (No response;
Shampoo is well on her way to Nabiki's room already)
*What does she want with oneechan, anyway?*
(Remembers her carrying delivery box) *Better
check on her, just in case she's up to something.*
(Cut to a door with a sign with 'Nabiki' on it. Akane
is trying to listen on in the conversation going on
within the bedroom walls)
Voice1: So you help Shampoo?
Voice2: What do you want?
Voice1: Shampoo want Nabiki put this in husband lunch.
(Akane narrows her eyes)
Voice2: (Pause) What is it?
Voice1: Is passion spice! Make Ranma fall in love with
Shampoo!
Akane: (Growling) Rrrrr... *Nabiki wouldn't,
would she?*
Voice2: How much? (This is too much for Akane.
She slams the door open)
Akane: Oneechan, what do you think you're
doing?!
Nabiki: Calm down sis, I won't do it for less
than 6000 yen
Shampoo: Shampoo give 6500 yen. (Nabiki's
eyes ching up)
Nabiki: So all I have to do is put this spice into
Ranma's dinner, right?
Akane: NABIKI!
Shampoo: What Akane care? Who say 'I hate
Ranma' everyday?
Akane: Shampoo, surely you can think of better ways
to get a man to marry you than by clogging up his mind
with love potions?
Shampoo: (Shrugging) Yes, Shampoo can do much else,
but love potion is easiest and fastest method.
Nabiki: (Returns to some paperwork) Tell me if the deal
is still on later, Shampoo.
Akane: Admit it, Shampoo. All you can do is run
around, giving the 'kiss of death', and chase Ranma.
Shampoo: If you so sure, pervert-girl, then I challenge you
to duel to death. Shampoo then have chance to finally
kill Akane.
Akane: You're on. And don't be so sure of yourself, Shampoo.
I'm pretty good.
Shampoo: (Snickering) You no better than other fake fiancees.
Killing you is like beating Mousse.
Akane: Fine, then. Let's fight on Sunday, at the park.
Shampoo: Deal. I go now. (Climbs onto bike and cycles out)
Nabiki: Akane?
Akane: What, Nabiki?
Nabiki: What do you think the odds will be?
(Akane face faults)
Ranma-chan'sVO**: For the next few days,
Akane practiced furiously. She refused to
tell me why, though. I Started getting
worried.
**VO: Voice Over
(Cut to Ranma and Akane walking to school)
Ranma: Akane, what have been doing for the past
few days?
Akane: Practicing.
Ranma: For what?
Akane: Since when do you care what I do? And why can't I
practice? I'm a martial artist too, you know!
Ranma: That's hard to tell, with your figure and all.
Akane: It's better than being a boy AND a girl.
Ranma: (Annoyed) How many times do I have to tell you,
I'm a guy!
Akane: Ask Kuno what you are the next time you're in a pool.
Ranma: I wouldn't go near a pool with Ku- (Without
warning, Shampoo lands beside Akane and the fence)
Shampoo: Nihao, Ranma! Sorry, I no can talk to you now.
Need to have word with Akane.
Akane: What's wrong Shampoo, chickening out already?
Shampoo: Shampoo not do that. I come to ask you if you
want cancel. After all, I can do this any day of week.
Akane: Not likely, Shampoo. If you don't want to anymore,
you're going to have to ask for it. I'm not going to.
Shampoo: (Glint in her eye) Ok, you no can say
Shampoo not warn you. I look forward to match
tomorrow. (Changes to dark and challenging, to
sweet and cute) Now Shampoo can go on date with
husband! (Glomps onto him)
Ranma: Hey, Shampoo, I don't have time for this!
Shampoo: (Getting all teary) You no like Shampoo?
Ranma: (Uncomfortable) No, it's not that, it's Aka-
Shampoo: (Looking around) Akane not here.
Ranma: Hey, Aka- (suddenly, a jet of water hits Shampoo
and Ranma)
Ranma-chan: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! GET IT OFF OF
ME!!!!!!! (Jumps off the fence, and runs all over the
pavement. She passes by Akane, who is holding a hose)
Akane: You could at least wait until tomorrow, Shampoo!
(Does Ranma-chan a favor by pulling Shampoo-neko off
her face, and throwing her on the other side of the fence)
Ranma-chan: (Still scared) Go... away... Shampoo...
(Akane slaps her, and that brings Ranma-chan up-to-date)
Akane: Snap out of it, Ranma.
Ranma-chan: Huh? (Jumps back onto fence) So, what are
you and Shampoo going to do tomorrow?
Akane: It has nothing to do with you!
Ranma-chan: And since when do you and Shampoo fight
over something other than me?
Akane: Don't be so conceited!
Ranma-chan'sVO: She never told me why she was
practicing so hard. I finally used my brains to ask
Nabiki what was going on. Pity it cost me a
smarting 800 yen.
(Cut to some nameless street)
Ranma: (Running)
(Memory)
Nabiki: Shampoo and Akane are going to fight today
in the park, supposedly a 'fight to the death'. I wouldn't
take them seriously, Ranma. They're always doing this
sort of thing.
(End memory)
Ranma: *Why didn't she tell me? Oh Akane,
you idiot, you forgot how good Shampoo is! Oh, I hope
I get there on time! Akane, why can't you ever think
properly for once? Shampoo, you hurt Akane in any
way I'll won't ever forgive you! Has it started yet? It's
meant to start in about five minutes. I have to get there
on time! Oh, Akane... *
(By now he's arrived at the entrance of the park. There's
a big crowd, and Ranma jumps over many a head in order
to get a good view of the center)
Ranma: (Seeing what's going on stage) Akane!
(It's not good. Shampoo isn't dented by much, except for
a Band-Aid on her head, most likely from yesterday. She's
calmly holding her bonbori, while Akane has taken much
more abuse. Blood is pouring from her mouth, and
she seems to have a hard time standing. But she presses
on, and jumps at Shampoo. Shampoo jumps as well, ready
for a fight in mid-air)
Ranma: (Trying to get through all the people) NO, STOP!
SHAMPOO PLEASE! AKANE!!
Isabel Arantes
terrin@netcom.com