At 08:58 AM 2/2/96 +0900, you wrote:
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2) I know that there are spelling errors in parts of the story, but it's
about 4:00am my time, and I'm too tired to wash it through the spell checker.
Well, there seems to be remarkably few spelling mistakes despite that.
Thanks. I can be obsessive about my spelling sometimes. I trace it back to
an incident in the fifth grade, but that's another story... ^_^
Letting his curiosity get the better of him, Ranma
approached the store and opened the door. Melodic chimes
rang, announcing a new customer. As he entered the store
was immediately assailed by a strong odor of old books and
musty furniture. Pictures of American automobiles from the
fifties, and some pre-World War Two clothing and other
relics littered the floor and walls in no discernible order.
A vendor dressed in a sparkling white leisure suit
looked up from his place behind the counter. Unseen by
Ranma, the vendor's eyes sparkled as his gaze fell on the
young martial artist. `Yes. This may be the one,' he
thought to himself as he approached Ranma. Ranma was busy
flipping through a stack of old National Geographic
magazines when the vendor tapped him on the shoulder.
Wouldn't it be better if there were Japanese relics and magazines,
since this is Japan? (BTW, how well would you think Ranma would speak
English, terrible to nil? ;-)
True enough. Shows you how American-centric I am. I saw an American store
in my mind when I wrote that scene... As could be told from a previous post
I sent, I'm trying to correct that now.
"What's going on Kuno-chan?" Akane asked, scared of
what this stranger was saying about her.
Shouldn't Akane call Kuno "Kuno" or even "Kuno-san"? It seems pretty
obvious that she's not happy with him, so she shouldn't use
"-chan". But then, I don't really know much Japanese.
I've seen that others have replied to this, but I'll chime in on this one as
well. I left the reference to 'Kuno-chan' in for two reasons. One, I
wanted to keep the first portion of the story as close to the original story
by Beaubien as possible. Secondly, it is an indication of just how far
Kuno's neglect, posturing, and mocking has worn Akane down.
were cursed," Ranko replied. Ranma nodded, a sad look on
his face. Ranko nodded. She silently thanked God that
she'd not been drug around on a training trip with her dad.
^^^^
To be picky, this should be "dragged", I think.
Thanks, and corrected.
her father, so she has no reason to be here, either. Plus,
I haven't met Ryouga or Kodachi, yet, thank God!"
When will he meet them? ^_^;
When it's least convenient, that's for sure... ^_^
"Well, you'd better have a lot of life insurance if
you're going to go after Kuno. The self-proclaimed `Blue
Thunder or Furinkan High' is good. I've never fought him
^^
I think this should be "of".
Corrected as well...
"So I *WAS* right! You've learned to fight! Only a
*seasoned* martial artist could've blocked that punch!"
This shouldn't be such a surprise since he already witnessed Ranma
doing all those special moves, should it?
I was adhering to the Ranma 1/2 notion that Genma was a little slow on
picking stuff up. IMO, while he did watch Ranma do all of those moves, he
just had to test Ranma for himself. After all, as far as that Genma knows,
Ranma not only disliked martial arts, he hated it. So why learn it all of a
sudden?
Ranma approached the dojo cautiously. Once at the
entrance, he saw Soun going through a few katas. `Wow! I
never knew Akane's old man had it in him. He's really good
at this,' Ranma thought as he watched the Kenpo instructor
go through his moves. When Soun finished, Ranma entered the
dojo and cleared his throat.
Is Soun's wife still alive, or did the shock of breaking off the
engagement did this to him?
I'm going to keep Soun's wife dead for now (although no direct mention will
be made of it should I find it necessary to have her later on). I'm using
the shock of Genma's "betrayal", coupled with the stress of a search for a
new agreement to keep the Tendo family honor intact, as Soun's driving
force. In the story, I believe I mentioned that Soun had searched
fruitlessly for many years for someone to marry one of his daughters.
That's gotta weigh on him pretty bad...
"YESSS!" Ranko screamed as she ran to her brother's
side. Gently she knelt down and put her arm around Ranma's
waist, helping him up. "I'm proud of you, Ranma. You
really must've been pissed off at him. Do you realize that
you hit him over a THOUSAND times?" Ranma just kind of
Ranko must be a REAL fast counter. :-)
I felt it was possible, given that Akane was able to count the number of
times that Ranma hit Mikado Sanzenin during the dance of death. Although I
should probably reduce the number of punches. I was trying to convey how
driven Ranma was towards winning the fight, and I guess I went overboard a
little bit.
Thank You <yes you, the one staring at the monitor> for
tolerating my unusual style of writing. I'll get better, I
promise ^_^
Don't worry, it doesn't seem all that unusual to me. Mine is probably
weirder. ^_^;
I guess we could have a contest to see who's the weirdest ^_-
Anyways, I loved the story. (Though to tell the truth, I think I have
this obsession with separate Ranma/Ranko stories. ^_^;) Keep up the
good work!
Thanks for the kind words. I'll keep on writing as long as I continue to
have ideas.
- --
Yoo Chul Chung
School of Electrical Engineering, Seoul National University
E-mail: wacko@power1.snu.ac.kr, Webpage: http://dosa3.snu.ac.kr/~wackoen
Finger wackoen@dosa1.snu.ac.kr or e-mail me for PGP public key
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Shadow Stalker | for 'Reading is Fundamental...' "
(Protoculture Addict) | - anonymous victim of the AT&T GIS
(Moderator: The Robotech Echo) | 'Reduction in Force' (IE 'layoff')
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