Just got these over another ML I'm on:

One-Line Signatures captured from the Internet
 ----------------------------------------------
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
     
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
     
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
     
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
     
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
     
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
     
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
     
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
     
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
     
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
     
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
     
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
     
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
     
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
     
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
     
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
     
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
     
Assassins do it from behind.
     
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
     
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
     
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
     
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
     
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
     
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
     
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
     
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
     
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
     
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
     
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
     
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
     
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
     
All generalizations are false.
     
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
     
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
     
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

*Insert crazed laughter here!*  ^_^

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bert Van Vliet
[alias SkyKnight, Knight-in-Shining-Armour and generally annoying good guy]
 Die-hard Bubblegum Crisis Fan and writer of really large Fanfics!
 "Trust me.  I know what I'm doing!"