Andy Skuse verbalized:

Panda-monium deleted (yes, that pun was intentional)

[From a rustling of the bamboo, a small furry head appears in Panda's
sanctorium.  He spies the chaos involving a bleeding Panda, a confused
Tigress, and a very flat Nabiki.  *piku, piku*]

"DAMNIT!  PANDA!  Can't we leave you alone for five minutes?  I go off to
beat up those snotty punks of Orick's and come back here to find that you
got shot!  What happened?!"

"OUCH!  Er, well, it was like this..." and Panda proceed to explain what the
hell had happened.  Which from his stand point was, "I came out to get some
new bamboo shoots and I got shot."

"Uh, huh.  Saf?  Did you see any of this?" 

"Nope, I just got here."

"So who shot him?"

"Uh, maybe it was this girl."  Panda said as he slowly rolled off of his
duff and off of Nabiki.  She looked like a cookie cutter, the way she was
pressed into the ground.

Nabiki, sat up; she was looking very two dimensional. "...erk..."  Tigress
helped her up and proceed to dust her off.  "Did you shoot Panda?"

"Well, yeah.  Remember, we were trying to figure out if Panda's scream or
not."

"So you shot him," The Gopher said.

"Yeah."

Panda rubbed his injured leg. "Couldn't you just scare me, pun at me, or
maybe just *ASK*?"  It was obvious, the overgrown teddy bear was a little
miffed.  Granted, given the current situation, that was to be expected. 
"That hurt!"

"Well, it was supposed to.  If it didn't, you wouldn't scream,"  Nabiki
countered.  Panda pondered it over for a few moments, "you've got a point
there."

Gopher and Saf looked at each other with annoyance in their faces.  It was
amazing the lack of logic that flowed through the fluff of Panda's brain. 
Somehow, Gopher was willing to bet that if Nabiki had asked him to stand up,
smile, and get shot, he would.

"Well, did you get the results you wanted?" Panda queried Nabiki?

"Yeah, but I don't remember how it sounded; something about a 450lbs trauma
occuring to me.  Could we do it again?"  Little stars glittered in the back
of her eyes.  "I mean, of course without sneaking up on you, this time."
Then she added in a sweet voice, "I would *really* appreciate it."  She
reached over and picked up the rifle.

"Well, if it would help...."  Panda started to hobble over to a clearspot in
the bamboo.

"WOAH!!! HOLD IT!!! AND STOP!!!" Gopher and Saf cried.  Everybody else
stopped and looked at them.  Gopher continued on, "You are *NOT* going to
shoot Panda, again."

"Exactly," Saf added. "There are other ways to make pandas scream."  She
walked behind Panda.  He followed her as far as his head would turn. "See,
very few people know that pandas have panic buttons on their backs."  

"We do?" 

"See, not even the pandas themselves, know.  All you have to do is push it,
like this."  There was a small 'click', and then Panda screamed.

"YEYAAAAHHRRGHGHGHRH!!!!!"

Nabiki covered her ears.  "That sounded terrible.  I think the previous
scream sounded better."

Gopher thought about it and agreed, then he said, "well, let's try this..."
Reaching into hammerspace, The Gopher grabbed on to a big mallet, and
proceeded to whack Panda on the toes.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! OUCH!OUCH!OUCH! **FIDDLESTICKS**"

[NOTE: 'Fiddlesticks' is a trademark of VIZ translations dept.]

"Hmm, that was amusing," Nabiki said.  "But what else can he sound like?"

"Uh, I dunno.  Let's find out...."  Saf answered.

Panda looked at the bunch of folks standing around him and decided that this
was going to be a very annoying day.




--==-=-=-=-=-====-==-----===-=-====-----=-==-=-=-=-=-===-=-====-=----===-=== 
               Ranmamaniac: SOS, CON, COR, LOR, OCS, OAA 
                 cesnyd01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu 
              URL: http://www.spd.louisville.edu/~cesnyd01 
             AlberCrombie ---- The One And Only Space Gopher 
 
		"Mommy, can I go out and KILL TONIGHT?!"
				-The Misfits