--Hi, all!  I've been reading the mailing list for a few days, and 
decided it was time I threw something in for your approval.  Here's 
chapter one of an ongoing story I'm writing (currently on chapter 4)-- a 
crossver between Lupin III, the world's greatest thief, and Batman, the 
world's greatest detective!  This is my first attempt at fanfic-- I'm 
generally posting this so I can get some feedback as to whether or not 
there's a lot of room for improvement.  I'll post the story in its 
entirety when I'm finished...


			 _As far as Thieves Go..._

			A Lupin III/Batman crossver.

			     by Michael Toole

Disclaimer:  The characters of Arsene Lupin III, Daisuke Jigen, and 
Ishikawa Goemon are the creations and property of Monkey Punch.  The 
character of Batman is the creation of Bob Kane and the property of D.C. 
Comics.  This story is for entertainment value only, and should not be 
distributed for profit or used as instructions.  ^_^;  Now that that's 
settled...

CHAPTER 1:  Formulatic Opening Chase Scene

	Light cast by the streetlamp was caught by the beaded water on the  
pavement, and reflected skyward.  While much of the light made it past the 
towering, darkened buildings, some of it did not.  One such beam of 
light glanced off an inky- black-and-blue, menacing figure.  The figure 
hesitated as the light hit it, then leaped skyward, to the next 
building.  It crouched on the ledge, and peered down at the casino.  It 
looked for all the world like a giant bat.

			-------------------

	He paused, listening again.  Frowning with concentration, he 
adjusted the dial ever so slightly.  He was rewarded with a [click], 
which he would not have heard save for the listening device he was 
using.  He signalled to his partner, a gangly, bearded man, who spun the 
wheel.  The bearded man paused dramatically; then, he turned the handle, 
and the door swung open.  Arsene Lupin the third got up and grinned 
triumphantly.

	After filling a couple of sacks with an absolutely appalling 
amount of money, the two were ready to go.  "Back the way we came in?" 
asked Jigen.  Lupin nodded the affirmative.  They crept stealthily over 
to the gate, past the two bound-and-gagged security guards and the 
tampered-with security cameras.  At the doorway, they paused.  Lupin 
withdrew a small aeresol can from his pocket, and sprayed.  About a dozen 
beams of light appeared.  Motion detectors.  Fortunately, the doorway 
was very high, and there was plenty of room for the two men to squeeze 
through.  They each donned a set of rather ridiculous-looking 
suckers, two for hands and two for feet each, and pulled hoods over their 
heads and faces.  Then, they securely tied the sacks to their waists.

	Lupin grinned through the mask.  "I'm getting too old for this," 
he remarked, as they squeezed through the upper part of the doorway and 
began carefully scaling the huge, vaulted ceiling.  "Hey, after this, 
we just might have enough money to retire." replied Jigen.  "Yeah, right." 
snorted Lupin.  The two men chuckled.

	They reached the sunroof at the top of the main ballroom, about 
50 feet up.  Opening the sunroof would have been a disasater, as there were 
surely alarms rigged up.  Lupin and Jigen had opted for the somewhat more 
sensible method of removing a pane of the glass.  They managed to squeeze 
through the opening onto the roof, and surveyed the six snoring security 
guards.  Lupin grinned.  "Knockout gas worked like a charm.  How much 
time--"  He was interrupted by the crackling of one of the guards' 
walkie-talkies.  "Control, this is Tower 1, Casino Roof hasn't responded 
and I can't see any movement.  Sound the alarm."  On cue, claxons went 
off.  Following their cue, Lupin and Jigen broke into a run towards the 
edge of the roof.  And, following his cue, a gigantic bat-like figure 
rose at the edge of the roof to meet them.

	Lupin and Jigen didn't even break their stride.  They had lived 
through hordes of malformed ninjas attacking them, the mafia pursuing 
them, greedy ninja clans, small armies of assasins,  train wrecks, car 
crashes, and Inspector Zenigata.  It took a lot to unnerve them.  Batman 
waited for them.  About five feet from Batman, Lupin took to the sky, 
diving towards the edge of the roof.  Batman caught him one-handed, 
flipping his hood back in the process.  Lupin grinned.  "Hi there.  How 
you doing?"  Batman's eyes regarded him  coldly.  "Fi--oof." he said, as 
Jigen ran headlong into him.  The three fell from the roof, and plummeted 
towards the pavement.

	Of course, Batman whipped out that wonderful grappling-hook 
gadget of his, snagged a flagpole, and brought the three of them to a 
halt about a foot above the pavement.  At the same moment, Jigen let go 
and Batman dropped Lupin, who in turn dropped his sack.  Lupin grinned, 
nonetheless.  "Hey, thanks for saving our butts there.  Nice outfit."  
He and Jigen backed towards their car, which was, of course, parked 
right out front.  Subtley was never Lupin's strong point.  Batman 
approached them menacingly, then threw five batarangs at the two. Quick 
as a flash, Jigen drew his pistol and shot all five out of the air.  The 
two jumped into the car as Batman stared in disbelief.

	He came to his senses in time to leap onto the roof of the small, 
yellow car as it roared (or rather, choked) to life and headed down the 
street.  Police sirens could be heard as the small, yellow car swerved 
on the street.  Batman hung on gamely.  He crawled onto the roof of the 
car, and began prying at the sunroof.

	Inside the car, Lupin looked at the roof disdainfully.  
"Gadzooks, but he's persistent.  Almost as persistent as the old man.  
Yo, Goemon, you're up."  The Japanese man in the samurai garb who had been 
sitting in the backseat nodded silently, picked up his katana, and moved 
to the sunroof.

	Batman's prying at the sunroof was rewarded; it sprang open!  
However, a disdainful-looking Japanese man immediately popped out of the 
opening, holding a vicious-looking katana.  Batman smiled under his mask;  
easy game.  He palmed a handful of smoke pellets, and tossed them at the 
swordsman.  Once again, his eyes widened in disbelief as the swordsman 
nonchalantly batted away the pellets (all 12 of them) with the flat of 
his sword, not even striking them hard enough to cause them to burst.  
Who the hell *WAS* this gang?!  Batman moved closer, and struck at the 
swordsman.  The swordsman, in kind, parried every punch, while managing 
to look terribly bored about the whole affair.  If it wasn't for Batman's 
armored gauntlets, he'd have been on the street, screaming, with bloody 
stumps for arms.  Batman scowled.  This wasn't going anywhere.  
Grudgingly, he let go of the car.  At the same time, he snagged an 
overhanging telephone wire with his grappling-hook.  Goemon managed to 
look faintly impressed as Batman swung up and over the wire, flipping to 
safety.

	While the car sped around the corner, Batman pulled a small 
control box out of his utility belt and spoke into it.  Several blocks 
away, a turbine engine roared to life...

	Goemon settled back into the backseat.  "So, what'd you think, 
Goemon?" queried Lupin.  "Were the bat-ears cute enough for you?"  Jigen 
grinned; Goemon's expression remained wooden.  He shrugged.  "A good 
fighter.  He was at a disadvantage, though."  Lupin grabbed him in a 
headlock, and gave him a noogie, grinning madly.  "That's right, Goemon!  
He was fighting YOU, the greatest samurai EVER!"  Jigen chuckled, and 
Goemon just looked annoyed.

	Batman hopped into the Batmobile, and took off at about 80 
miles-per-hour after the little yellow car.

	"Oi, Lupin," Jigen said.  "The cops found us.  They're giving 
chase.  Should we just get the hell out of Dodge, now that we've got the 
cash?"  Lupin nodded.  "There's no point in staying around here.  If we 
go back to the hotel, they'll find us for sure."  He grinned, surveying 
the two police cars in the rear-view mirror.  His grin vanished abruptly 
as the two cop cars hastily got out of the way, making way for an 
enourmous, roaring black monstrosity of an automobile.

	Jigen's eyes bugged.  "What the hell is that?!" he exclaimed.  
Lupin frowned.  "It's that crazy bat guy again.  Dammit, he's even more 
persistent than the old man.  And he's got a slicker car."  The Batmobile 
pulled up beside the small yellow car.  Batman looked at the passengers 
through the tinted glass.  The man in the blue jacket was leaning out of 
the sunroof, peering at the car curiously and scratching his head.  
Batman shook his head.  He'd just finish this quickly. 

	But before he could, two things happened in rapid succession.  
First, Jugin reached down and pulled a lever with his left hand.  Second, 
a hatch on the back of the car flipped open, and a turbine engine much 
like the one on the Batmobile (only smaller) roared to life.  The little 
yellow car took off like a bullet.  Eyes narrowed, Batman pushed the gas 
pedal down further, compensating for the small car's increased speed.

	The Batmobile pulled ahead of the yellow car.  A compartment on 
the back slid open, and a wide asssortment of small spikes scattered all 
over the road.  The yellow car bumped up and down as it sped over them.  
Inside the car, Jigen grinned.  "See?  I told you getting those 
armored tires would be a good idea."  Inside the Batmobile, Batman 
groaned.  This was turning out to be much more of a headache than he'd 
bargained for.  He pulled around and behind the small car.  Pushing another 
button on the control console caused two hatches to fly up and off the 
car.  Two extremely menacing gatling guns swung out in their place.  
Batman aimed for the tires and thumbed the trigger.

	Jigen just barely managed to swerve out of the way as the 
Batmobile opened fire.  Lupin growled angrily.  "Bastard's playing dirty 
now... well, we can, too.  Jigen, keep on ducking and weaving."  Jigen 
nodded.  Lupin hopped into the backseat and began helping Goemon 
assemble something.

	Batman ground his teeth, frustrated.  The driver of the yellow 
car seemed to be possessive of absolutely ridiculous luck.  He had dodged 
Batman's every attempt to shoot the wheels out from under the car, even 
swerving up onto the side of a building and escaping miraculously 
unharmed.  The chase had gone on for almost five minutes.  Batman dimly 
wondered where the hell the police were, and concentrated on the attack.

	Lupin grinned.  "Okay, we're done.  Goemon, help me get this 
thing mounted."  With that, he and Goemon lifted a huge heavy machine gun 
and mounted it on the roof.  Lupin got out onto the roof and manned the gun.

	Batman's eyes widened in disbelief for the third time as he saw an 
evil-looking machine gun emerge from the roof.  The man in the blue 
jacket followed.  He grinned ingratiatingly, and waved at the 
Batmobile.  Then he opened fire.  A few shots glanced against the 
windscreen.  They didn't break the glass, but they left a spiderweb of 
cracks.  Batman swore to himself.  If the glass was hit again, it would 
shatter... hell, he couldn't see anyway.  He slowed down a bit, and 
punched the glass out with his fist.

	Lupin grinned as the car receded a bit.  He detached the machine gun, 
and laboriously slid back into the passenger seat.  "Okay, that's got 
him scared.  I doubt it'll last.  Jigen, did you get us down to the 
harbor?"  Jigen nodded.  "We gonna go for you-know-what again?"  "Yup!"  
Lupin rummaged around in the backseat, and came up with a large exhaust 
pipe.

	Batman's eyes narrowed as he revved the engine.  He was going to 
just forego the guns, and run the car off the road.  Despite all the 
gadgets, it had to weigh less than half of the Batmobile's weight; it didn't 
stand a chance.  Suddenly, the car swerved down a side road.  Batman nearly 
laughed.  The car was heading for a dead end;  namely, the wharf.  He 
stopped the car, and got out.  Circling the car, he walked down the alley 
to the dock.  The yellow car was sitting right at the front of the 
dock, idling.  Batman took his time walking towards it.

	Then, the infuriating man in the blue jacket popped out of the 
sunroof.  He waved.  "I hope you're a good swimmer, Mr. Bat!"  
With that, he stuck a strange looking pipe on the back of the car.  The 
engine revved, and it splashed into the water.  It took Batman a few 
moments to realize that the car was amphibious.  He shook his head again 
at the prowess of the gang.  He turned and prepared to call the boat when 
he noticed that the signal was shining clearly in the sky.  He stood 
indecisively for a moment, then decided that Commissioner Gordon was more 
important than a bunch of petty thieves.  He started back to the car...

NOTES:  Well, that's the first chapter.  Here's a few notes:
I took the idea of Lupin's top-mounted machine-gun from a publicity still 
from _The Castle of Cagliostro_, which depicted Lupin using a heavy 
machine-gun on top of the car to fend off a plane, while Jigen drove.  
The scene never actually appeared in the movie.
All the other gadgets were featured at one point or another in the Lupin 
movies, from whence I drew the inspiration for this story.  Sorry, but 
the TV series hasn't been translated and I've only seen the Miyazaki 
episodes.  So, I hope it isn't too sparse for all you Lupin fans... as 
for the Batmobile, well... I think Lupin's car is a match for it anyday.  :-)
Give me a bit of feedback if you like it.  If you don't like it, tell me 
why, and I'll make the next chapter better!
Mike Toole
slade23@titan.oit.umass.edu