The Gopher was not there!  An ominous feeling flashed through her 
as she snapped the gun behind her.  A furry paw grabbed the barrel and 
flung it far from her.  The barrel of the plasma rifle pointed down at 
her head.
	"It's over..." the Gopher simply said.
	"Never!"  The faceplate snapped shut and the back thrusters of 
her armor kicked in, propeling her forward.  The plasma shots scored 
on her faceplate and chest sending shattered pieces of armor in all 
directions before Allegra's armored body slammed into the furry body.  
The plasma rifle went flying.  Both scrambled for it...  One hand closed 
over it and the other's owner spat out a curse as the barrel was brought 
about...

			*	*	*

	Zodiak was upstairs at the Tendo's crying his eyes out as he saw his
security deposit flying off into the sunset.  For some reason, still
unknown, there were energy discharges and explosions coming from the
basement; his, Allegra's, and Virgo's current home.  Nabiki was setting
across from him looking rather coldly.
	"Don't you think you should find out what's going on?"
	He didn't look up.  He just cried into his arms.  "No.  Then I'll
know just how bad everything is."
	"Well, if I don't know the exact level of damage, I'll just have to
estimate it then."  
	Zodiak stood up and headed for the basement.  "On that note, I think
I'll survey the damage."  The last thing he wanted to do was have Nabiki
estimate anything that he would have to pay for.

			*	*	*

	"Alright, Gopher, say yer prayers...."  Allegra stood legs spread,
ready to eviscerate the little fur ball with his own plasma rifle.  The
Gopher just stood sweating and glaring back at her.
	"I don't believe you just said that."  Virgo chimed in from behind a
burned out husk of a couch.  Next to her was a small gopher; he had been a
hostage only a few moments ago.
	"WHAT?" Allegra fired back at Virgo.  
	Virgo stood up.  "I mean, that expression is so *LAME*.  Couldn't
you use something more '90s?"
	With that distraction, The Gopher took a step sideways, hoping to
sneak out from the plasma rifle's death range.  Unfortunately, Allegra
caught the movement with her periferal vision.  "Freeze Gopher!"
	"What am I?  In a Chevy Chase movie?"  The Gopher said.
	"You're TOAST!  THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!" She aimed and started to
squeeze the trigger.
	Just then, a figure appeared in the doorway.  "WHAT THE HELL IS
GOING ON HERE?!!"  It was Zodiak.  "DO YOU REALIZE WE HAVEN'T PAID OFF THE
LAST DAMAGE YOU CAUSED."	
	Allegra looked up to her older cohort. "But, he attacked us...."
	"I don't care what he did - you're the one holding the plasma
rifle!"
	"But..."
	"No 'buts' - put it down."
	"Ahh....I never get to have any fun," she moped as the plasma rifle
fell towards the floor.  Virgo came out from behind the chared remains of
the couch carrying the young gopher, squeezing it like an overstuffed teddy
bear (it was doing that 'bug-eyed-squeeze-me-anymore-and-I'll-explode'
thing).   
	"But Allegra's telling the truth!  The Gopher did attack us!"
	"*GACK*" The little gopher squawked.
	"He did?"  Zodiak looked over at the furious mammal.  "WHY?"
	"Virgo kidnapped that gopher and was threatening to blow him away if
the ML didn't send C&C back on Orick's latest attempt at creative writing."
	Virgo looked hurt.  "I would not have 'blown him away' - he's
*CUTE*."  She squeezed the gopher and rocked back and forth happily like a
five year-old with a stuffed panda.  The littlest gopher held up a sign that
simply said, "AIR!"  She noticed that all eyes were still on her, so she
added, "Can I keep him?!  I'll take care of him!"
	Allegra mumbled something like, "ahh, geez ....."
	Zodiak, however, was a bit more with it.  "No.  You know what Nabiki
said - no pets."
	"But what about Allegra?" Virgo asked, loosing her grip on the
gopher enough for him to suck down about 6 liters of air in a huge *GASP*.
	"I told you, ALLEGRA'S NOT A PET!"
	"Damn right!"  replied the non-pet.
	"WAITAMINUTE!" The Gopher shouted.  "SHE KIDNAPS MY KIN AND YOU
DISCUSS APARTMENT CLAUSES!  That's it!  We're outta here!  Hang on kid!"
	The Gopher, in one deft movement, snatched the mono-katana from his
back and swung in a mighty arc.  

	Time froze.  

	Nothing happened.

	Nobody moved.  

	Zodiak was standing next to the door, Virgo was squeezing the small
gopher, Allegra was next to the burning bush (it used to be a fern of some
sort), and The Gopher was standing in the classic extended form of someone
who had just completed a sword swing.
	"Uhh...call me stupid, but you didn't hit anything," Zodiak
exclaimed.
	The Gopher twisted his head in Zodiak's direction and smiled a
wicked little smile.  "...wait for it..."
	Before Zodiak or anyone else in the room could reply, a voice came
from the stairwell.  It was Nabiki, "Well?  What's the total damage?"

	Right then a gleam of light appeared in the middle of the
house's support beam off to the right of The Gopher.  The gleem burned out
and a straight line replaced it running in a downward slope; the line was in
the same arc as the monoblade had passed a second earlier.  
	The huge timber that supported the Tendo residence had stood
unmoving for decades.  It had not moved for storms, ki attacks, occational
pass-bys from Godzilla, nor even Ranma.  But for a Gopher with a monoblade,
it moved.  And move it did.
	With a low rumble and a loud, sharp crack, the upper part of the
timber slid along the slice the Gopher had just created.  

			*	*	*

	Nabiki stood atop the stairs waiting for an answer from Zodiak or
one of the other loonies down there, when the floor shifted.  
	"What the hel....." was all she got out before the house colapsed in
on it's self.

--==-=-=-=-=-====-==-----===-=-====-----=-==-=-=-=-=-===-=-====-=----===-=== 
               Ranmamaniac: SOS, CON, COR, LOR, OCS, OAA 
                 cesnyd01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu 
              URL: http://www.spd.louisville.edu/~cesnyd01 
             AlberCrombie ---- The One And Only Space Gopher 
 
	 I won't have a happy New Year unless I kill you!
			-Eimi to Nuku-Nuku