It was great, it was awesome.  I started reading it during lunch, and 
skipped two classes to finish it.

The storyline is great as is the basic premise.  The story flowed well, 
with plenty of dramatic pause and suspension in the right places, without 
any dragging at all.  The characterizations were excellent and very true 
to form.  I especially liked how Kasumi and Nabiki have been expanded on.

There were no obvious grammar/spelling mistakes, except for dropped articles.
I did notice a few wordo's here and there, on the order of about 1 per 
chapter.

>From the end of chapter 7, it looks as it the story has reached a cusp 
point of whether it'll go towards more of an action fanfic or towards a 
relational one.  Personally, I'd like to see it go towards relational.

Again, a great job, I'm gonna be waiting impatiently for more.

Frank


*****   Dark Shadow   *****

The "Supreme God of Documentation White Space" in Dogbert's New Ruling Class.

Undercover Suzzallo-CRC inspector.

"Yes, I actually have a TIP patch on my camos."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D'Artagnan - Dark Shadow   |  Live Fast,       | "Have Phantom, Will Travel."
dkshadow@u.washington.edu  |  Shoot Straight,  |                
Technical Communications   |  Love Hard,       |             - Bear -
University of Washington   |  Die with         |             Band of the Hand
Seattle, WA  USA           |   your boots on.  |	     TIP#388
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*****  CAUTION: Signature file unstable.  *****