Fortunately for me, a good portion of the department is away at a 
conference this week.  That means I don't have homework yet.  I have a 
duty to use my time productively, right?  So here's part five.  (I wrote 
the outline during Algebra).

	Ranko screamed.  There was water everywhere.  Water was the  
mortal enemy of his closest kin.  It warped the body in unnatural ways, 
and it sucked you under the waves, forcing itself down into your lungs.
	A wooden sword smacked the pony-tailed boy upside the head.  
"Crybaby," Tachi taunted.  "The water's only a foot deep."
	"I knew that," said Ranko, sullenly.
	Tachi scrambled up the bank of the canal, while Ranko took a 
speedier route and jumped to the top of the fence.  "I don't see that 
crazy girl anywhere."
	"Ranko, you have no idea how lucky you are that she's gone."  Tachi 
shook her head, trying to dry out her short hair.  "You have more than 
enough problems with that pig of a fiance you've already got.  Throw 
a Chinese Amazon in the mix and, well, you know the stories as well as I 
do."
	"Yeah, I guess so."
	"And you owe me a month's worth of chores."
	"Huh?"  Ranko face-faulted.  He almost fell off the fence.  "What 
for?"
	"While I was playing Baywatch, it seems someone stole my clothes."

* * * * *

	The two of them, still damp and bedraggled, decided to go to the 
clinic before going to school.  "Bell-chan should have some old clothes I 
can borrow," explained Tachi, wiggling her stocking toes.  "And we might as 
well change you back while we have the chance."
	"Good idea," agreed Ranko.  "If that girl shows up again, I want 
to be in my best fighting form.  This body's stronger, but it's too slow."
	Tachi shook her head.  "Get a clue, Ranko.  The last thing you 
want to do is fight that Amazon in any form.  If you do meet her again, 
the best thing to do would be to lose."
	"Throw a fight?  Never!  I'm the best there is!"
	"And I'm the undefeated Shooting Star of Furinkan High, but that 
doesn't mean anything."  Off in the distance, there was a soft peal of 
thunder.  "Just think about it, okay, Ranko?"
	Ranko's response was cut off by the sight of a man running down 
the middle of the street carrying a skeleton.  "We're almost there," 
announced Tachi.
	Ranko stared after Dr. Tofu.  "Man, Bell-chan's dad is a 
fruitcake.  He's almost as nuts as your- ouch!"  The pony-tailed boy 
winced as Tachi slapped her bokken against the palm of her hand.  "What'd 
you do that for?"
	"You were saying?"
	"I was gonna say, 'Aunt,'"
	"Oh,"  Tachi put her bokken away.  She smiled.  "Sorry."

* * * *

	No one answered the clinic door when Ranko knocked.  "Now what do 
we do?" he asked.
	"We go in," said Tachi, who did just that.  "It's not like Aunt 
Kasumi is going to throw us out or anything."  The short-haired girl 
stopped and studied the room for a moment.  "Hmmm."
	"Tachi, what's wrong?"
	"Look at this place, Ranko.  You tell me what's missing."
	Ranko turned around in a slow circle.  "Well, it's a little messy."
	Tachi snapped her fingers.  "Exactly.  When was the last time 
Bell-chan and Aunt Kasumi left any place looking like this?"  She stepped 
in the middle of the room and held out her arms.  "This place looks like 
a bachelor pad."
	"So?"
	"So!  It's not right."
	"You figure it out, then.  I don't think they moved the kitchen since 
the last time we were here, so I'm going to get some hot water."
	"You do that," said Tachi.  She began poking through piles of 
medical journals.  "There's got to be a clue here somewhere."

* * * * *

	A weary and beaten Ryo stumbled up to the clinic.  He knocked at the 
door.  _I hope Bell-chan is out.  I don't want her to see me looking like 
this.  The lipstick might be a bit hard to explain._
	His cousin Tachi opened the door.  "Yes?" she said.
	She?
	Ryo's gender identification sense went into overdrive.  Tachi 
Kuno was a boy.  He knew that.  They'd grown up together.  The person 
standing in the doorway had the same face, but she was very definitely 
female.  The damp blouse made that more than abundantly clear.
	"T-tachi?" Ryo stammered.
	"Yes?" she repeated.  "That's my name.  If you're selling 
something, we're not interested."  She moved to shut the door.
	Martial arts reflexes kicked in, and Ryo's foot kept the door 
from closing all the way.  "You're Tachi Kuno?"
	"I said yes."  Tachi gave Ryo a closer look.  "Hey, you've been 
in a fight."  She let the door open all the way, grabbed him by the hair, 
and pulled the pig-tailed boy down so she could study his face.  "With 
uncle Konatsu?"
	The world was just too strange for Ryo, and he started babbling.  
"There was a transvestite in the restaurant, and a Chinese Amazon, and 
you're a girl."  His voice took on a plaintive note.  "Where's Bell-chan?"
	Tachi shrugged.  "That's a good question."
	Ranko returned from the kitchen, a teakettle in his hands.  
"Who's a girl?" he asked as he poured hot water over his head.
	Ryo saw the pony-tailed boy shrink, heard his voice rise in 
pitch, and could not help but notice the change in hair color.  His 
gender sense flared beyond control.  Splaying his fingers in shock, the 
pig-tailed boy slumped to the ground in a dead faint.
	"What's with him?" asked the now read-headed Ranko.  "You'd think 
he's never seen a boy turn into a girl before.
 ______
{B-{=__
rmckenzi@euclid.ucsd.edu : The White-Robed Mathematician