NOTICE:
BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION
subject to change, really, I mean it.
C&C appreciated, really.
-cscc1y@jetson.uh.edu
Rod M.
========================
The Pursuit of Happiness
========================
Part 1
Money and Dreams
Chapter 1
Quiz Show
Soun Tendo was troubled.
First of all, there was the matter of the bills. The cost of living had
gone up considerably since his good friend Genma had moved in. The food bill,
for a while, was unspeakably high (although the bill was made somewhat less
painful when Ranma had won the martial arts takeout delivery race and a year's
worth of free ramen), the heating and electricity bills weren't pleasant
either, and the insurance for the house had skyrocketed after so many wild
clashes in the dojo.
And so, Soun Tendo did what he sometimes does to enter a peaceful state of
mind. He swept his front yard. Left. Right. Left. Right. Sweep. Sweep.
Sweep.... ah yes.... so very relaxing...
taptaptaptapthudthudthudthud *URK*
"Oh, Tendo! Hello there!" Genma was currently being held by the shirt.
Soun, using his lightning-fast reflexes, reached out and grabbed him before he
made it out the front gates.
"Tell me Saotome, just where are you going?" When Genma was running in a
panic, that ment one of several things. Genma may have just done something
stupid and was running to avoid the fallout, leaving Soun to face the
aftermath of the disaster. His wife might be visiting. Or...
Genma adjusted his glasses, then dramatically pointed his finger at Soun.
"Tendo, your daughter is cooking!"
Soun thought about it.
"So?"
"Not Kasumi."
"Oh."
==========
"Akane! Daddy's going to go out for a while!" Soun yelled from outside.
Akane, in the kitchen, elbow-deep in something dangerous and on the verge
of atomic fusion, scowled and turned her head towads the front door.
"Hey! Wait a minute!" She wasn't fooled. She knew what was going on.
"Dad! Uncle Saotome?"
She stomped to the front door.
A cloud of dust and the sound of footsteps fading fast greeted her.
Just for ONCE she would like SOMEBODY to appreciate the effort that she
always put into her cooking. But no, not Nabiki, not her stupid fiancee, not
even her dad.
Akane sighed and went back inside.
Kasumi, walking by, noticed her sisters demeanor. "Daddy's run out of the
house again?"
"Yeah."
"Don't worry about it. Do you want help in the kitchen?"
==========
Meanwhile, in a studio...
"SAITOOOO!!!!"
"Oh no oh no oh no oh no the boss is mad at me oh my gosh what went wrong
now where am I gonna hide oh man I hope I don't get fired!" A thin, timid
little man in a tie scrambled up to a rather large and seemingly important
figure.
"Yessir?"
"SAITO!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR CONTESTANTS?!?!?!"
Contestants?
"THE SHOW STARTS IN ONE HOUR AND WE'RE SHORT BY FOUR CONTESTANTS!!!
SAITO!!! GET MOVING!!!"
==========
"Ah, good day for a walk. Wouldn't you say, Saotome?"
"Mm. Yes, indeed."
Genma and Soun, used to running away from dire situations ever since they
endured their training with Happosai, were far from the Tendo Dojo, where
Akane's food couldn't hurt them.
Suddenly, a thin little man burst through a building doorway. He looked
around desperately and ran towards the two martial artists. "Hey! You two!
Cash money prizes gameshow now thirty minutes you try?"
"You catch any of that, Tendo?"
"Something about money and food."
"Sounds good."
"Wait there's only two of you do you guys have a family we need four
contestants huh huh?"
Genma narrowed his eyes. "Hm..."
He smiled. If he could pull this off right, not only could they win,
they'd get that ingrate son of his to make up with Akane...
==========
Akane sat down and brushed the soot off of her shirt. Dinner, once again,
was a disaster. She wasn't sure what went wrong, but if scientists had
watched over her techniques there they could have observed it and written a
book entitled "Atomic Fusion: quick, easy, and in your own Kitchen."
Kasumi walked by and put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "That's okay,
Akane. You're getting better. Don't give up yet!" Ranma just sat watching
the television.
Akane smiled at her sister's comments. "Thanks. I think I'll just take a
break from cooking for a while."
"That's a relief." said Ranma, seemingly out of reflex.
*WHAP*
"Ow! Quit it!"
"Insensitive jerk."
"Why you... you..."
Ranma held back on the insults. Ever since the criticism at the hospital
about his lack of originality, he'd been desperately trying to find a new
word to use to insult Akane that _wasn't_ a synonym for "uncute", "unsexy",
or "tomboy". The end result was usually Ranma standing around, pointing his
finger, and saying "why you... you..."
And so Ranma stood there, saying "you... you..." and Akane watched,
getting more annoyed with each passing "you...". She wasn't sure what was
worse, the monotony of "uncute" or this stupid and yet annoying
repetition of "you... you..."
She slapped him. "Snap out of it!"
Ranma, shocked, pointed at her again. "Hey! You... you..."
Suddenly, the front door burst open. Soun and Genma were next to their
children immediately, and grinning like demons. Soun grabbed Akane by the
arm and Genma grabbed Ranma's outstretched pointing hand.
With his other hand, Genma slapped Ranma in the head.
"Don't point, boy! It's rude!"
"Hey!"
"No time for talk, Saotome, let's go!" said Soun.
"Right with you, Tendo!"
Before either Ranma or Akane could protest, Soun and Genma burst through
the doors, still holding them by the arms, and ran down the streets, faster
than anyone could have imagined them runnning.
"Hey Pop! What's the big idea? Hey!"
==========
"Pop, what's with the curtain?"
"Quiet, boy! Just stand straight and get ready to smile! There's money in
it for us all!"
Ranma looked around. They were standing by some stands with buttons and
microphones, and surrounded by a curtain.
"Dad! What's going on?" hissed Akane.
"Shh, it's almost time-"
Suddenly, a voice boomed.
"AND WELCOME TO VIOLENT FAMILY FEUD!!!"
The studio audience cheered.
Cheezy music filled the air.
The gameshow host grinned. His teeth sparkled.
"OUR CONTESTANTS FOR TODAY, THE TENDO FAMILY, SOUN TENDO..."
The curtains dramatically whipped away.
Soun grinned like a maniac. The cameras did an extreme closeup.
"HIS DAUGHTER AKANE..."
Akane was stiff with shock. Cameras? Audience? Broadcast throughout
Japan? Oh no...
"HER FIANCEE RANMA SAOTOME..."
Ranma knew what was coming. Water. It always managed to creep into
his life when he least needed it. He glanced around nervously at the
floor, the ceiling, the surrounding area, for possible sources of water.
He had learned long ago that his luck had a tendancy to turn for the worse
so often, and this would be just the kind of thing.
From somewhere out there, Ranma thought he heard the words "that
wretch!"
"AND HIS FATHER GENMA SAOTOME!"
Genma grinned like a maniac. He loved television.
"AND FROM THE NOBLE HOUSE OF KUNO..."
Kuno? Akane and Ranma looked in dread towards where the spotlights
suddenly shone.
"THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY AND THE MAN IN CHARGE OF FURINKAN HIGH SCHOOL,
PRINCIPAL KUNO..."
Principal Kuno's wacky grin almost managed to make Soun & Genma's
smiles look normal. Almost.
"HIS SON, TATEWAKI KUNO..."
Tatewaki grinned. His teeth sparkled. Anybody that knew him had to admit,
Tatewaki Kuno was one photogenic guy. Kuno then shot an evil glare towards
Ranma. At first Kuno didn't want to go. This was some stupid family activity
thing that his father had planned. But Saotome? Here? And with the lovely
Akane Tendo as well? He would defeat Saotome in any field of battle.
"HIS DAUGHTER KODACHI..."
Kodachi was... there. No evil laughter. In fact, she seemed to be rather
bored with everything. Kodachi gave a little smile to the camera, waved, and
then looked bored again.
"AND THEIR SERVANT SASUKE!"
The camera swung left.
Nothing.
The cameraman aimed right.
It was back to Kodachi, idly polishing her nails.
"Hey, down here!"
The camera zoomed down. Sasuke's hand barely reaced over the podium.
From the control room, the director spoke into his microphone, "somebody
get him a mini-stepladder."
The assistant director noticed something. "Hey, it looks like the two
families already know each other. What a coincidence, huh?"
"AND I'M YOUR HOST, //ednote: gotta find a typical japanese name...//"
The audience went wild.
The cheezy music got louder.
Ranma elbowed his dad. "Pop! What'd you get us into now?!"
"Relax, boy!"
"OKAY, FAMILIES, YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, EACH FAMILY PICKS A PERSON FROM
THEIR TEAM TO COMPETE IN SEVERAL WILD EVENTS AND FOR EVERY EVENT WON AND EVERY
CORRECT ANSWER GIVEN, THERE'S MONEY AND PRIZES GALORE!"
Ranma looked angrily at Soun and his father. "Hey!" he hissed, "Don't you
realize what kind of game show this is?"
"Yes, the kind that gives out money!" they both said.
"No you idiots! Ain't this the show with all them wacky, wacky, and _wet_
obstacles?"
"So?" Soun didn't get it.
"Oh." Genma did.
==========
"Nabiki! Come quick!"
Nabiki came into the living room, wondering what had gotten Kasumi all
excited. "What's going on?"
"Look! On TV!"
On the screen, there was some game show that she didn't care about. She
was about to leave when she noticed _who_ was on the game show.
She looked. She looked again.
"Kasumi, tell me that's not daddy on television."
==========
"OUR FIRST EVENT: MASCOT RACING!"
Genma and Ranma looked relieved.
"AS YOU CAN SEE ON THE SCREEN..." the announcer blared as a giant screen
between the two contestants came to life, "WE'VE GOT A LINEUP OF WACKY
MASCOTTS IN A RACE TRACK, READY TO RUN JUST FOR YOU! BOTH TEAMS WILL PLACE
THEIR BETS AND IF THEIR PICK WINS, IT'S BIG MONEY! IF THEIR PICK DOESN'T
GET FIRST PLACE, BUT BEATS THE OTHER TEAM'S PICK, THEY GET SOME FABULOUS
PRIZES!"
Ranma was getting a headache. Boy that announcer was loud...
Each team went into a huddle.
==========
"The fish mascott, I tell ya. We got stuck watching this stupid gameshow
when we were stuck in the hospital and that stupid fish always won."
"Hm. I'm not sure. Isn't the cat mascott's costume more lean and
aerodynamic?"
"You've got a good point, Saotome."
"That ain't funny, pop."
"I'm with Ranma. Pick the fish."
Both parents suddenly looked happy. "Oh look Saotome! Our children are
getting along once again! Oh happy day!" Soun started dancing around with
fans.
"Indeed it is Saotome!" Soun tossed around confetti.
"WILL YOU TWO QUIT IT?!"
==========
"I like the pineapple."
"I don't know, father dear, I think I like the alligator."
"The fish is the thing, I tell you, to capture victory against the
infernal Saotomes."
==========
"OKAY, TEAM KUNO, DO YOU HAVE A PICK?"
Tatewaki was about to speak when his father suddenly popped forward
and yelled "The pineapple! The pineapple!"
"TEAM TENDO?"
Soun cleared his throat and said, "we'll take..."
==========
"PICK THE FISH!!! PICK THE FISH!!!"
Nabiki was surprised.
She'd never seen Kasumi so excited over anything.
==========
"... the fish."
"OKAY! NOW, CAN YOU GUYS HEAR ME ON THE TRACK?"
On the giant screen, the various mascotts waved or nodded their heads.
"RIGHT! ON YOUR MARK! GET SET! GO!!!!"
==========
The mascotts burst out of the gate in a hurry. The cat blazed forward,
leaving almost everyone in the dust.
Except the fish.
The two were neck and neck, racing down the track, racing as gracefully
and ernestly as two guys in goofy costumes could race. The finish line
was ten feet away... seven... three... two... one...
==========
"AND THE CAT WINS!!!"
Kuno looked angrily at his father. "Wise pick, dear father. The
pineapple RAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!"
"THE TENDOS WIN A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF RAMEN!"
Ranma blinked. "Hey, didn't we win that before?"
==========
Meanwhile, back at the tracks...
The fish mascott huffed and puffed its way to the sidelines, along with
everyone else. The cat was walking rather smugly. Everyone else was glad it
was over. Another stupid stunt, another not-so-bad paycheck.
A fox mascott fox sat down and rapidly yanked off the headgear. He
wheezed. He coughed. He wheezed some more.
"There has *cough*... got to be *wheeze*... an easier way *cough*cough*
to get a *deep*breath* paycheck," Ryo said as he flopped off the bench and
had a lie-down on the grass. He found that breathing in the costume was pretty
damn hard.
"What's the matter, out of shape?" teased Ryoga as he peeled off the
headgear of the pineapple outfit.
"At least I... whew.... at least I ran... in the RIGHT DIRECTION!!!"
"Shut up!"
"I _hate_ being the fish," muttered Tsubasa, as he peeled off the head of
the costume.
"You ran fast," said Kyoko, removing the cat-head off of her costume.
"Oh. That's 'cause I'm used to runnning around in disguises."
Ryo slowly let some relaxation techniques bring his body back into
balance. This wouldn't do. The paycheck was too small, he was NOT
having fun, and this job had lousy benefits anyways. As proof of that,
the guy who usually does the fish bit had quit last week and gone to
work as a janitor. He wouldn't normally resort to this, but recent events
had driven him to desperate measures. Ryo recently had a talk with other
UWSMA members, and the ones that actually visited the home office made it
clear that things weren't looking up. The bottom line? The Unorthodox
Weaponry School of Martial Arts was now defunct, crashed, gone, el finito,
all thanks to the greatest mistake any martial arts school could make: they
went bureaucratic. The paperwork just absolutely ruined the system. The
reputation of the school, which was just beginning to become elite once more,
had sunken once again. Meanwhile, some members got lucky and managed to get
jobs as bodyguards or, if they were willing, assassins. Others, like Ryo,
were forced to do whatever it took to make a living.
Ryoga desperately hoped that Ukyo wasn't watching. He took up the job so
that he wouldn't leech off of her anymore. It was a matter of pride. When
overheard Tsubasa mentioning the job opening during the last week of their
hospital stay, he couldn't resist.
==========
"That's funny, why'd the pineapple run the wrong way?" asked Akari.
"That must've been Ryoga." Ryoko grinned a bit.
"Yeah. Definitely." Ukyo couldn't figure out why, but something about
being around Ryoko that bothered her. It wasn't that she was ugly. On
the contrary, she seemed rather sweet natured. She didn't look evil either.
She just seemed to be an ordinary 16 year old weilding a pair of metal yo-yos
and a bandolier loaded with boomerangs.
Maybe it was because of who her brother was?
Ryoko wasn't entirely sure why she was there. As of late she'd been very
much concerned with her life. It had alot to do with genetics. Her brother
Ryo, she had often observed, lived with a false sense of self-importance.
Ryoko always prided herself with being a very down-to-earth realistic sort
of person. But then came the chance to see Ryoga again, and suddenly she
found herself becoming a giggling fool around him. That wasn't right. Not
at all. At first she honestly believed he'd be in love with her, naturally.
But her practical side was demanding to be heard, and it said that she was
being rather stupid. After all, he always seemed nervous around her, never
offered to take her on dates, and never, in fact, ever said that he loved her,
cared for her, or took an interest. The Voice Of Reason then declared that
she had, in fact, been in severe denial.
Okay, she said to herself, maybe I am. Now what?
Obviously, The Voice Of Reason advised, you'd better see what Ryoga is up
to nowadays. Y'know, what he does, who his friends are, what kind of person
he's become. You don't stay the same as time goes by. People change. And
by the way, are you _really_ sure you love him?
I... I think I... Ryoko was stuck for words. I hate it when I think like
this. Damn it all, I'm hungry.
And so she ended up at Ucchan's.
"It's cute the way that Ryoga-chan gets lost like that." Ryoko giggled and
drank some of her tea. "By the way, this is _great_ okonomiyaki."
"You really think so?"
"Best I've ever had."
"I gotta agree," said Akari.
Ukyo couldn't supress a bit of a smile. A compliment is one thing that
cooks can't resist.
"Ukyo, can I ask ya something?"
"Sure."
"Does he ever... talk about me?"
"To be honest, well, no."
Ryoko sighed.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just lying to myself. I mean, we've never
kissed. He's never said he loves me."
Ukyo found herself wanting to encourage this line of thought.
"Ukyo?"
"Hm?"
"Could you ask him for me? I gotta know. Sometimes I get the feeling
that he'd rather not be around me, y'know? And I don't think I could..."
"Hey now..."
"Maybe I'm being paranoid. I don't know. I just don't wanna be strung
along and find out he's just too scared to say anything."
"Yeah, I know how you feel."
The ladies were quiet for a while.
"Hey," asked Akari, "anybody seen Genma smiled in victory.
Sasuke sat, looking ill and with his eyes closed in tight concentration.
Finally, he could take it no more. He ran off to a small porta-potty nearby.
Genma was still fine, in top shape.
Manami today? She was supposed to join us
over here."
Nobody had.
"Well," said Ryoko, "she's kinda new to this town and... well... a bit too
shy to ask directions. I hope she ain't lost."
"She'll be alright." Ukyo looked like she believed it.
"Hey! The commercials are over!" Ryoko and Akari resumed watching the
television. Ukyo looked at Ranma, ever so briefly slipping into a sentimental
mood, and joined Ryoko in watching them make fools of themselves.
==========
"NEXT UP, THE IQ TEST!"
"Great," muttered Akane, "we're doomed."
"TODAY'S TOPIC... MARTIAL ARTS!!!"
"Martial arts? Heh, we can't loose," both Saotomes echoed.
So that's where he gets it from, thought Akane.
==========
"Martial arts? Ranchan won't loose."
"Ranchan? Awfulllly familiar with him, are ya? Hey, you having an affair
with him? Huh?" teased Ryoko.
"Um. I used to be... engaged to him."
"Oh. Um. Gosh, I'm sorry. I... I just don't know when to shut up
sometimes. I didn't mean to-"
"Don't worry. It's a dead issue. We're still good friends, though."
"Still friends? I don't think I could do that. Isn't it... I dunno...
kinda awkward when he's around?"
"Not anymore. It just took time to recover, I guess."
"Oh. Sooooo, who ya dating now? Huh? Maybe you got a crush on that
stud Ryoga?" teased Akari.
"Uh-no! Just friends we are yes. Ahem."
"Mm?" Ryoko was unsure of what she'd just seen. Was that a moment of
nervousness and uncertainty? It was just a joke but did she really...
"Besides, he's lucky to have a girl like you, eh?" Ukyo said, playfully
punching Ryoko in the arm.
Naaaah. Ukyo was really a rather nice person. A friend, even. She never
had too many of those, since the dojo back home was competitive to a vicious
degree and Ryo was always overprotective.
"Yeah, he's lucky to have me. If only he said so..."
==========
Meanwhile, back at the game show, Genma and son were having a field day.
Akane had to admit, maybe he was stupid in general, but Ranma really did
know his martial arts _very_ well.
As the questions came, they took turns answering in the blink of an eye.
*BUZZ* "Kata!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
*BUZZ* "Paean!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
*BUZZ* "Jokuzetzu!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
*BUZZ* "Lei Wu Long!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
*BUZZ* "Mantis!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
*BUZZ* "Tai Chi!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
*BUZZ* "Solar Plexus!"
"THAT IS CORRECT!"
"......"
Then there was the last question... which had the Saotomes stumped.
*BUZZ* "Watermelons!"
"THAT IS CORRECT, AND THE KUNOS FINALLY GET SOME POINTS ON THE BOARD!"
Kodachi rolled her eyes up in disgust. So, this was how life was without
the aid of mind-bending chemical substances.
And this was her family, was it?
How embarrasing.
==========
The assembled mascotts lounged around idly in the locker room.
"So, what's our next bit?" asked Ryo.
"I dunno," replied Tsubasa, "but I heard the producer had something new in
mind to try out today."
"Oh. Great. Hey, where's our gatorade anyways?"
"Ryoga said he'd go and get it."
"Ryoga?"
"Um... that was a bad idea, wasn't it."
"Never mind. I'll get my own drink."
==========
Ranma was floored, dazed, and in a world of hurt. It felt alot like
something that Akane usually did to him. This... this was pop's fault.
Definitely. Wow, look, three Akanes yelling "IDIOT!" at him from the
sidelines. Wasn't that great?
*
"Wow," said Ukyo, "I wouldn'tve believed it unless I saw it. Poor Ranchan."
"Man, that was brutal," said Akari. "At least it was quick."
"I hope he isn't hurt too much. He looks hurt," said Ukyo.
"Hey Ukyo," said Ryoko, "I thought you said that Kuno guy was a wuss!"
"I think Ranchan's starting to move again," observed Akari.
*
Tatewaki Kuno stood over Ranma, pugil stick in hand. "Ranma Saotome, enjoy
the taste of defeat."
Ranma wobbled to his feet.
Kuno, in a fake and extremely bloated Sumo costume, strode away as
dignified and prould as the costume would let him (which wasn't much).
"AND THAT'S ANOTHER BIG CASH PRIZE BONUS TO TEAM KUNO!"
Genma grabbed his son by the mascot costume. "What's the matter with you,
boy? How dare you shame the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts with a
performance like that!"
"Well pop, I was trying to tell you, BEFORE you picked out that stupid
costume, that Kuno would go berzerk when he saw this! But did you even TRY to
listen? No!"
Ranma angrily shook off the watermelon costume.
==========
Meanwhile, in the mascott locker room, Ryoga was enjoying himself.
Ranma just got whipped in a major way, in front of national television, by
KUNO of all people.
He couldn't help but laugh out loud.
*KLONK* "Shut up, we're tryin' to watch."
"Shut up yourself, you transvestite!" Ryoga shook a fist at Tsubasa.
"Don't mess with me, lost boy."
"Oh? What'cha gonna do? Paint my nails?"
Tsubasa hopped into a locker.
"Oh, hide from me! That's a-"
Ryoga stopped suddenly, as the locker rolled forward, sprouted tank treds
and several mechanical arms, each with a nasty looking device on the end.
The locker door opened to reveal Tsubasa at the helm of alot of buttons and
levers. "Got anything else to say, smartass?"
==========
[EDNOTE: REVAMP: BEER & ICE CONTEST]
Genma sat outside, waist-deep in snow, his eyes closed, his body deep
in meditation. He drank another beer and concentrated on controlling his body.
The cold did terrible things to the human anatomy...
Sasuke's face was twisted in determination and effort. He was also
waist-deep in snow, but didn't look nearly as comfortable as Genma. He reached
for another beer...
"I can't take it anymore!" Sasuke jumped out and sprinted for the bathroom.
Among other things, the bladder shrinks, alot, in cold weather...
"AND THE WINNER OF THIS EVENT, GENMA SAOTOME!"
*burp* Nobody beats Genma Saotome at outdoors drinking contests.
Nobody.
Now to get out of these clothes before it soaked through and got wet...
==========
Inside an office of Mishima Heavy Industries, Inc....
In the darkness, there was a large television screen. It flickered to an
image. "This," a woman said, "is Tsubasa Kurenai. We don't have much
background on her, but we know she's been showing some alarming talent in mech
design. In fact, she's been using MHI parts for quite a few of her creations.
The screen flickered again. It showed a trash can mech, a mailbox mech, and a
tree mech.
"So, boss," another voice asked, "what do you want done?"
"Arisa, Kyouko, you two find her and bring her to me. I want to talk to
this Tsubasa Kurenai."
"Yes m'aam."
==========
Soun swooned left, then right, then left again. The high beam just wouldn't
stay still. The world was still spinning.
"Hang in there, Tendo!" yelled Gemna.
Principal Kuno walked by easily.
"Tendo! He's getting ahead!"
Soun concentrated. He was a martial artist. Martial artists overcome many
adversities in their life. He looked at the narrow walkway ahead, and ran
forward.
"IIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" *splash*
Principal Kuno stood at the finish line smiliing. When you've experienced
the most powerful drinks Hawaii had to offer, being spun around several dozen
times and walking across a narrow beam was no big deal.
==========
Akane, trapped in a gigantic bowling ball costume, rolled down the steep
slope for what seemed to be the hundredth time.
"You clumsy girl!" yelled Ranma.
"Shut up boy!" Genma elbowed his son.
At the top of the exceedingly steep slope, Kodachi, dressed as a black
8-ball, hopped easily over oncoming cushoined boulders and reached the top in
record time. She looked down at Akane. This would have been more fun once,
beating Akane at something. But somehow it just lost its appeal. Kodachi
turned away, boredom returning to her face.
==========
"This is getting interesting," said Akari.
"I didn't think it would be this close..." Ukyo was surprised at the skill
the Kunos had demonstrated. They were behind, but not by much.
"Well," said Ryoko, "there's always the final round. Y'know, big money and
all that stuff."
"How much could they win?" asked Ukyo.
"Hm..." Ryoko searched her memory, "about ten million yen."
"TEN MILLION!"
"Ah, but nobody's ever won that one yet," Ryoko added.
==========
Gosunkugi walked around, not entirely sure what to do with his day.
He didn't want to stay at home. His parents were nagging him again. Also,
that old book he had bought several months back was spooking him. It didn't do
anything, it just made him nervous.
He winced and pulled his jacket tighter around himself as a sharp gust of
winter wind hit. And them he bumped into someone. They both fell on the
pavement.
"Sorry! Sorry!" they both said.
Gosunkugi pulled himself up and got a better look at who he ran into. It
was... a girl. A cute one too. Long hair, shy eyes, wow. "I... um..."
She was at a loss as to what to say as well. "Well... um..."
An automated voice kicked in inside of Gosunkugi's head. =Be nice to
others, and they'll be your friend= He shook his head. Damn those self-help
books. =Think Positive!= Grr.
Gosunkugi was the first to stand up. "Here, let me help you up." He
extended a hand to the girl, and she tenatively took hold of it. He pulled her
up. "Sorry about that," he said, "I guess I wasn't looking where I was going."
"That's okay. I was kinda wandering around myself."
They stood around in awkward silence.
"Um... do you know where Ucchan's Okonomiyaki Resteraunt is?" she asked.
"I was supposed to be there an hour ago but I'm kinda lost."
"Yeah, sure," said Gosunkugi. He had nothing better to do, so... "C'mon,
follow me. I know the owner of that place."
"You know Ukyo?"
"Yeah. You too? By the way, I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi."
"Manami Hinako. Nice to meet you."
==========
Akari, Ryoko, and Ukyo watched the television carefully. It was going into
the final rounds and team Tendo was up by a good lead. Then the door opened.
"Hi guys, sorry I'm late!" Manami entered, shivering. "Man, it's cold out
there. Where's the coatrack? Oh, there it is. Never mind."
What caught the girls attention wasn't that she was babbling, which wasn't
normal for her. It wasn't that she was late. It was that she stormed in with
Gosunkugi in tow*, literally.
-------------------
*Ukyo had figured out the differences between Gosunkugi by now. Gosunkugi was
generally less healthy looking and his voice was distinctively more whiney.
When Ryo entered the room, she instinctively felt the need to reach for her
battle-spatula. She credited it to "his distinctively annoying aura". She had
no idea how right she really was.
-------------------
"Um, Manami?" he asked nervously.
"Yeah?"
"Could you let go of my arm? I think the blood flow's stopped there."
"Oh!" She quickly let go, extremely embarrased.
Gosunkugo shook his arm, getting some feeling back into it.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"Um, it's okay, really. Hey Ukyo, could you get us two cups of hot tea?"
The assembled girls looked over at the pair, smiling mischievously.
"Two HOT teas for the HOT couple coming right up!" Ukyo yelled.
Ryoko and Akari started giggling, Manami blushed even more than she already
was, and Gosunkugi was feeling incredbly unconfortable. None of those
self-help books covered THIS situation.
They were all so preocupied with the teasing that they missed out on the big
finish, complete with confettii.
======
Ranma breathed hard and looked back on the massive obstacle course. Why
they had to pick _him_ to do this, he didn't know, and he resented it deeply.
But now it was nearly over. Time seemed to freeze, just before he reached he
reached the finish line.
He looked around.
Confettii hung in the air, Mr. Tendo's tears formed magnificent arches of
water, Akane pointed to something behind him...
Akane... hm... she looks cute when she's got a panic-stricken look on her
face, thought Ranma.
The first part of the race wasn't bad. He and Kuno raced across across,
trying to gain a lead, as two gun turrets shot high-speed tennis balls at
them...
*
Kyoko and Ryo took their places behind the cannons. Ryo was assigned to
Kuno, while Kyoko had that Saotome guy.
"GUNS GUNS GUNS!" Kyoko took hold of the cannon handle and swung it around
wildly. Ryo looked at his little sister. Sometimes he worried about her.
*
Thinking back, Ranma felt sorry for Kuno. Whoever was aiming for him was a
maniac with the trigger. The guy who aimed for Ranma, however, seemed to be
determined to hit the back of Ranma's head only, and managed to hit it a few
times in a row.
He managed to reach the 1/4th mark, where Akane took over. With a big lead,
it only got bigger when she raced through the maze of mascotts.
*
Ryoga was relieved that this job was simple. Stay where he was, and don't
let anybody pass. Staying put was good for him. He was in a maze of sorts, so
walking around could have truely been a disaster.
He heard footsteps.
Alright, someone's coming! I hope it's Kuno, thought Ryoga, or maybe even
Ranma! He cracked his knuckles (or tried to. It's tough to do that when you're
stuffed into a giant fish-in-a-spacesuit costume) and got ready to tackle
somebody hard.
Someone emerged from the corner, running at full speed. Alright... ready,
set, IT'S AKANE!
Ryoga was frozen with indecision as Akane blazed towards him.
*WHAM*
As Ryoga laid down on the floor, footprints on his costume, he was extremely
gratefull that the fish costume hid his face.
Somewhere else in the maze, Tsubasa was in a world of pain. The orders were
to try and impede the progress of the racers, right? Okay, so he
_accidentally_ touched Kodachi in the entirely wrong way. She might not have
been laughing maniacally anymore, but she still knew how to inflict serious
bodily harm.
*
That particular stroke of luck, thought Ranma, was unusual.
After Akane made it through, with a fair lead over Kodachi, their fathers
had a fairly easy time loosing the lead...
*
Soun and Genma felt a little embarrased. Their task was simple: team up
for the "wheelbarrow" race. The only problem was _who_ was supposed to be the
pusher and who was supposed to be the human wheelbarrow. They eventually
decided that Genma would push, since Soun was lighter.
Their competition had, it could be said, a considerable advantage. Sasuke
made for one tiny and very portable human wheelbarrow. In no time they had
carved out a small lead ahead of the Tendo-Saotome team.
"Tendo! They're getting away!"
Soun summoned innner determination and pushed harder. Soun moved his arms
faster, scrambling on the floor...
*WHAM*
*
Well, thought Ranma, the floor _was_ oiled down, which gave those two a mild
excuse for crashing into the 3/4th mark with Genma's face skidding all the way.
Then it was his turn again, him against Kunu. But nobody warned him about
this last part...
*
Ryo and Kyoko were at the end now, behind a rampart-like structure, with a
different set of cannons to play with. "Hey big brother, what are these?"
"Water cannons, kid. High pressure water cannons."
"BIG SQUIRTGUNS! YAY!"
"You want to aim at anyone in particular?"
"I want the other guy this time!"
"Okay..."
Kuno had a slight lead at the start, since Ranma's dad was late getting to
the 3/4th mark, and he took off, only to be blasted in the back of the head by
a blast of water.
Ranma, from the starting line, froze. Water? WATER?
"I said get going, boy! What's the matter? Afraid of a little water?!"
Kunu struggled to get up, but his head was mercilessly being pounded by
blasts of water. His temper was lost and he was trying to yell at whoever was
manning the accursed water cannons. "CUR*blublublub*RSE Y*fwash*
CRE*whapwhapwhap*"
"We're on national television, you idiot! What if mom-"
"There's at least 10 million yen at stake here boy, GET GOING!" Genma
unceremoniously booted Ranma out of the starting gate.
"Ha! My turn! My turn!" Kyoko giggled uncontrollably and let loose with
the cannon spray.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
Ranma felt deeply in touch with something at that moment. Something about
martial arts and concentration and focus and all that inner peace junk that his
dad talked about every so often. Yeah, he was yelling, but suddenly the world
seemed to be in slow motion. He could see the water blasts coming for him.
He dodged them easily, with the fear of death in his heart and the inner peace
of the universe in his mind.
This, he thought, was weird.
He raced by Kuno, who was still being pounded brutally down by cannon fire.
"SAO*blublublub*OME! Y*blub* FIEN*fwoosh*ND!!"
*
And now, it was slower than ever. There it was, the finish line!
Wait, what was that Akane was pointing at? Something in the air?
Ranma turned around and looked.
It was two waterblasts, heading straight for him. No room to dodge, no
place to hide! It wasn't fair! It wasn't...
Suddenly, his view was blocked out.
"SAOTOME! CURSE YO-" *WHAM*
Kuno got hit by the twin blasts of water, slamming into Ranma and knocking
him clear. He crossed the finish line and rolled away, his legs running out of
steam.
Okay, his mind said, quick check time.
Feel wet?
A little.
How's the chest?
Feels kinda flat.
How's the voice?
He tested it out.
"Whoa..."
Deep voice. Good. Congrats, you're still a guy!
Ranma stood up suddenly. I'm a guy! And I won! We're rich! HA!
Ranma started jumping up and down, feeling incredibly victorious. He ran to
Akane and picked her up in his arms. "We won! We won!" he yelled. She
returned the embrace as they both started laughing uncontrollably.
*
Somewhere in Tokyo...
A television screen flickered.
//UCCHAN'S, THE BEST OKONOMIYAKI IN TOWN//
click
//OH, JUBEI-SAN!//
click
//AND TEAM SAOTOME HAS WON! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!//
Nodoka stopped, staring at the screen. There's Genma, and Soun, and there's
Akane being hugged by some boy?
She felt that she should visit the Tendo house, soon.
*
"Well, Tendo, it worked like a charm. We've got enough money to cover the
bills for a LONG time!"
"And our childred are once again getting along well!"
Just then, Ranma passed by. Actually, he flew by, with a bruise on his
forehead.
"You egotistical jerk!" Akane stormed in after Ranma.
Ranma seperated himself from the boulder outside, then wobbled around.
"Ungrateful... sexless... oversensitive... stupid... clumsy... TOMBOY!!!!"
"Then again, Tendo, maybe we oughta look up another plan."
*
"Hey, Ryo, what'cha up to?" asked Ryoko.
Ryo held his umbrella, frustrated.
Hanging from a tree was a side of beef. It looked like it was poked alot
by a blunt object.
"Dammit," he muttered, "it isn't working!"
---------------------------------------------
>From the Journals of Ryo Muhoshin:
I have tested and proven that the breaking point technique is effective
against organic materials, so long as that material is of a rigid nature.
However, I have deduced the nature of the problem.
Flesh.
There's alot of flesh in the way.
The blasting point technique, as I understand it, is a small touch of ki
combined with the ability to "see" the one spot on an object that would
effectively destroy it if the right amount of pressure was applied.
It is critical that the _exact_ spot and the _exact_ amount of pressure be
used at that spot.
If I was to hack away at Ryoga's leg until the bone was exposed, then it
would probbably work. But then again, if I was able to hack away at Ryoga's
leg that badly, why bother? I had hoped that this would lead me to a "death
touch" of sorts, but apparently that is not to be. There's a solution to this,
I'm sure of it.
-end part 1-
Next:
PART 2: Larceny & Dreams: Nerima By Night
or
How Not to Steal In Tokyo