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.:,.... TENCHI ,:;
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```::::::....., MUYO! ,;;',,,;;,,,:, `'
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"Star of Jurai"
an Audio Drama by Ryan Mathews
PART 1 of 2
*****************************************************************************
SASAMI (narrating)
Hello, everyone! Welcome to "Star of Jurai"! I'm Sasami, and I'll be the
one telling the story! Let's see, how should I start? I know! First, I'll
tell you something about myself!
I'm a princess from the planet Jurai, but I live with my big sister Aeka and
lots of friends at the home of Tenchi Masaki, a boy from a place called Japan.
How we all got together is a really neat story, but it's not the one I'm
supposed to tell you, so I'll tell it real quick.
See, Tenchi let this demon out of its cage by accident, only the demon turned
out to be a girl named Ryoko, and she wasn't a really a demon, she was a space
pirate! Aeka and I were looking for our big brother Youshou, who was supposed
to have married Aeka but disappeared seven hundred years ago while fighting
Ryoko. So when we found Ryoko we tried to capture her, so she'd tell us where
Youshou was.
Well, Ryoko didn't know anything! And then we had this big space fight, and
both our ships crashed. Tenchi was really nice and let us live with him.
Then a police officer named Mihoshi showed up, looking for a criminal named
Kagato, and she crashed too!
Finally Kagato came. He said Ryoko belonged to him and kidnapped her! He
wanted the secret of Tsunami, Jurai's most powerful ship, but we all fought
him together and destroyed him! That was when we met Washu, a genius
scientist Kagato had captured two thousand years ago!
We found out that Youshou was Tenchi's grandfather. He'd gotten old because
he wasn't living on Jurai anymore, so he couldn't marry Aeka. That means
Tenchi will be the next emperor of Jurai someday!
Things are pretty quiet now. We're all happy living together with Tenchi.
Well, most of the time. See, Ryoko and Aeka both want to be Tenchi's
girlfriend, and they fight a lot. Sometimes it causes big problems. For
example, one time we all went to the beach...
[SouND: Waves, seagulls, people.]
SASAMI
Aeka? You don't look like you're having fun.
AEKA
I'm fine, Sasami.
SASAMI
But you're wrapped from head to toe! Don't you want to play in the sun?
AEKA
And expose my beautiful skin to all that radiation? No, thank you.
SASAMI
But...
AEKA
When you get to be my age, you have to take good care of your looks! You'll
understand someday.
SASAMI
But all you have to do is put some suntan oil on your skin.
AEKA
Suntan oil? Let me see that...
[Pause.]
Is that what that couple over there is doing?
SASAMI
Huh? Oh, yeah! She can't reach her back, so he's putting some on for her.
AEKA
It looks so... romantic.
SASAMI
You want me to put some on for you?
AEKA
[giggles] No. I have a *much* better idea.
[SND: Electronic beeps on top of the beach noises.]
WASHU
Fascinating! Do you that this sand is almost all silicates? Seems a shame
to waste it by lying around on top of it.
TENCHI
I, uh, really hadn't given it much thought.
WASHU
Still, I gotta admit, it sure feels good squishing it between your toes! Say,
Tenchi! You haven't said how you like my bikini!
TENCHI (nervous)
Uh, it's really nice, Washu.
WASHU
You think so?! It's actually painted on! It's this new molecule-thin fabric
I've been working on. Here, feel it!
TENCHI
Heh, heh. That's okay!
WASHU
Oh, don't be shy! It's just scientific curiosity! It's healthy!
MIHOSHI
Hi, Tenchi!
TENCHI (relieved)
Oh, hi, Mihoshi! How's the water?
MIHOSHI
It's great! I especially liked talking to the fish!
TENCHI
Talking... to the fish?
WASHU (skeptical)
What did they say?
MIHOSHI
Well, I don't know really, but they were opening and closing their mouths a
lot, so I figured they were talking to me. I just have to learn the language!
WASHU (sarcastic)
Well, good luck.
AEKA
Tenchi!
TENCHI
What's up, Aeka?
AEKA
Mihoshi, I couldn't help but overhear how you were talking to the fish. Why
don't you show Washu! I'm sure her scientific mind could figure out their
language in no time!
MIHOSHI
Why, that's a GREAT idea! C'mon, Washu!
WASHU
Uh, gee, I really don't know, I mean I'm still analyzing the sand--
MIHOSHI
Oh, this is much more exciting! C'mon!
WASHU (fading into the distance)
No, wait! This is sensitive scientific equipment!
MIHOSHI (fading)
Leave it behind! C'mon, into the water!
WASHU (fading)
I can't swim!!
[SND: Splash in the distance.]
AEKA
Tenchi, could you help me?
TENCHI
Sure, what you need?
AEKA
I need to put this suntan oil on, but I can't reach my back. Could you help
me?
TENCHI
Oh, sure.
[SND: Rustle as Aeka lies down.]
AEKA
Thanks, Tenchi.
TENCHI
Like this?
AEKA
Mmm, yes, thank you.
[pause]
If the strap's in the way, you can undo it.
TENCHI
(gulp)
[SND: Ryoko teleports. Tenchi and Aeka yelp in surprise.]
RYOKO
Hiya, Tenchi! Whatcha doin'!
TENCHI
Ryoko! I told you not to teleport in public!
RYOKO
Oh, relax! Nobody saw. Well, well! What *are* we up to?
AEKA
None of your business!
RYOKO
Giving the princess a little backrub are we? Me next!
AEKA
You don't need suntan oil! You can fly through a star!
RYOKO
Who said anything about oil?
AEKA (feigning interest)
Is that a surfboard you're carrying, Ryoko?
RYOKO
Sure is.
AEKA
Then why don't you go surf!
RYOKO (annoyed)
I'm planning to!
(brightly)
Say, Tenchi, wanna hang a little ten with me?
AEKA
Tenchi is *busy*!
RYOKO
FINE!!
[SND: Ryoko teleports.]
TENCHI
Wait! Ryoko!!
AEKA
Um... Ouch! Ouch! My back's getting sunburned! Please hurry, Tenchi!
TENCHI
Oh! Sorry, Aeka.
AEKA
Ahh... Thank you, Tenchi. That's much better. It's so kind of you to do
this for me...
[SND: A roar that slowly grows louder, followed by distant sounds of panic.]
VOICE
Tsunami!
TENCHI
Tsunami? Where?
AEKA
I don't see her anywhere...
[SND: The roar continues to grow.]
TENCHI
Wait a minute. How do they know about Tsunam-- whuh whuh WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
TSUNAMIIIIII!!!
AEKA
Where? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
[SND: The roar is near-deafening.]
RYOKO
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! SURF'S UP!!!
[SND: Screaming, the crash of an enormous wave. The noise fades.]
AEKA
(cough cough) I've never been so soaked in all my life.
RYOKO
Serves you right for being so stubborn.
TENCHI (annoyed)
What about the other people, Ryoko? Someone could've gotten hurt!
RYOKO
Give me some credit. I used my power to weaken the wave. They just got a
little wet, that's all!
SASAMI
All our stuff was washed away!
WASHU
Mihoshi and I were in the water! You nearly hurled us into the parking lot!
RYOKO
With your power? Get real! Besides, Mihoshi's too stupid to get hurt.
MIHOSHI (near tears)
How... How could you say something like that?!
TENCHI (angry)
eeerrrrrgg--That's IT!! Ryoko, I have HAD IT with your selfishness! You
apologize to Mihoshi right now! And to the rest of us, too, while you're at
it!
RYOKO
Tenchi?
TENCHI
I mean it!!
[pause]
RYOKO
I... I don't have to take this.
[SND: Ryoko teleports.]
TENCHI
(sigh) I didn't think she would.
AEKA
That was wonderful, Tenchi! It's about time you told off that monster-woman!
TENCHI (snapping)
You're just as bad!!
AEKA
W-what?
TENCHI
If you hadn't been so rude to her today, she might not have done anything!
You're always provoking her!!
AEKA
Tenchi...
TENCHI
Here comes the bus. Let's go home.
[SND: Inside the bus as it leaves.]
SASAMI
Um, Tenchi?
TENCHI (annoyed)
What is it?!
SASAMI
Um...
TENCHI
Oh, I'm sorry Sasami, I didn't mean to snap at you.
SASAMI
That's okay--
TENCHI
This has just been another tough day.
SASAMI
I understand, I--
TENCHI
This happens every time we go somewhere together.
SASAMI
But--
TENCHI
Can't they get along for just one afternoon?
SASAMI
I just--
TENCHI
I guess it's my fault.
SASAMI
Tenchi?
TENCHI
I should tell them that they're both important, that they don't need to
compete.
SASAMI
Tenchi!
TENCHI
I'm sorry, Sasami, what were you saying?
SASAMI
Aeka didn't get on the bus with us!
TENCHI
WHAT?! Oh, no! Driver! DRIVER!
DRIVER
Yeah?
TENCHI
You've gotta turn this bus around!
DRIVER
Sorry, no can do.
TENCHI
Then let us off! We'll walk back and catch the next one.
DRIVER
Ain't no next one.
TENCHI
AUUUGGH! (sigh)
SASAMI
What are we gonna do, Tenchi?
TENCHI
I guess we'll just have to ask my dad to drive us back and pick her up.
[SND: Bus sounds fade.]
TENCHI
What do you mean, "The car's not working"?!!!
FATHER
Now, now, Tenchi, it's a just a small problem. I'll have it fixed in no
time!
GRANDFATHER
What your father means by that is that the engine has been taken apart and is
currently strewn all over the garage.
FATHER
Uh, heh-heh. Well, after my last tune-up, I had a part left over. Just
trying to figure out where it went!
GRANDFATHER
That part was from the lawnmower.
FATHER
I know that now...
TENCHI
C'mon, I'll help you put it back together. Poor Aeka. It's starting to get
dark.
[SND: Night sounds: crickets, frogs, or whatever equivalent they have in
Japan. :-)]
AEKA
Tenchi...
[pause]
Tenchi's right. I do provoke Ryoko too much.
[pause]
OOOOOH, but I can't help it! That nasty monster-woman! Always trying to get
her paws on Tenchi, to have SEX with him! Ughk! The very thought revolts me!
Well, I'm not going to let it happen, do you understand! If Tenchi's going
to lose his virginity, he's going to lose it to ME!
[pause]
Um, that's not what I meant. I mean that, that... OH! Listen to me, talking
to myself like a crazy woman!
[pause]
Oh, why didn't I get on that bus? It's dark, it's getting cold, and it's
scary out here.
[pause]
I'm being silly. What is there to be scared of?
[SND: Hummmmmm-buzz-WHOOSH!]
AEKA
AAAH!
[pause]
Ha.. Ha... Who's there?!
[pause]
It came from somewhere in those trees...
[SND: Rustle of leaves and branches.]
AEKA
Excuse me, is someone there?
[pause]
I, uh, need transportation. I can pay you.
VOICE
You don't need to pay!
AEKA
AAAAAAAAHHH!!
[SND: Running through the woods.]
AAH! AAH!! AAH! Whoa! Oof!
[SND: Aeka falls, crunch of leaves and sticks.]
Ouch! W-whatever you're thinking of don't do it! I may look like a
defenseless young woman, but I'm a royal princess of Jurai, and I've been
trained--
VOICE
Why would I want to hurt you, Aeka?
AEKA
You... know who I am?
VOICE
Don't you recognize me?
[pause]
AEKA
Joran?
VOICE
That's me!
AEKA (overjoyed)
JORAN!!
[Joyful laughter.]
[SND: Clinks of metal.]
TENCHI
This is hopeless! We'll never get this back together.
FATHER
Sure we will! Now, this doohickey goes on this thingamabob. No it doesn't.
Maybe on this watchamacallit? Nope, not there either. Hmm...
TENCHI
Ohhhhhh...
WASHU
Ahem! Mind if I help?
TENCHI
Washu?
FATHER
What would a little girl like you know about automobile engines?
WASHU
Are you kidding? Primitive engines have always fascinated me! I'd love to
have a go at one!
TENCHI
Uh, I don't know, Dad...
FATHER
What have we got to lose? Sure, you can help!
WASHU
(giggles)
[SND: Night sounds.]
AEKA
Joran, what's happened to you? You've gotten so... tall!
JORAN
You were in stasis for seven hundred years, Aeka. I wasn't. I grew up.
AEKA
Oh. That's right. How silly of me. I suppose a lot of things have changed
since I left.
JORAN
Many things have. That's one of the reasons Father and I came out to see you.
AEKA
Uncle Anshou? He's here too?
JORAN
Mm-hmm.
AEKA
All of a sudden, I feel so homesick. Look at you! You always were a handsome
boy, but I had no idea you'd grow up to be such...
JORAN
A hunk?
[Both laugh.]
It came as a surprise to me, too. It seemed to happen overnight. All of
sudden, I was getting attention from all the girls in school, including
those who wouldn't have given me the time of day the year before. I didn't
quite know how to take it.
AEKA (teasing)
Oh, it must have been so hard on you.
JORAN
(laughs) I got used to it. So how about you? What's it like, living on
Earth?
AEKA
I love it here. I know you think it's a primitive planet, but it's beautiful,
almost like Jurai. The natives are friendly, most of the time, anyway, and I
live together with a lot of good friends. It's like having another family.
JORAN
Then why were you standing out here in the dark, all by yourself?
AEKA
Um... uh...
[pause]
It's... a long story.
JORAN
Okay. Why don't we go back to Sujahoh and talk about it?
AEKA
Is that your ship? It's nearby?
JORAN
It's in orbit.
AEKA
Then how did you get down here?
JORAN
I told you, a lot of things have changed. Take my hand.
[SND: Hummmmmm-buzz-WHOOSH!]
FATHER
Thanks for all your help, little Washu! You certainly are good with tools!
WASHU
Why, it was nothing!
TENCHI
Dad and I are going to pick up Aeka. We'll back in no time.
WASHU (under her breath)
Heh. You can say that again.
TENCHI
What did you say?
WASHU
Oh, nothing! Have fun, you two!
[SND: Engine starts. It sounds... weird.]
FATHER
Hmm. Engine sounds a little rough. I'd better take it easy when I step on
the--
[SND: SHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!]
TENCHI & FATHER (fading)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
WASHU
Yahoo! Am I the Hot Rod Queen, or what?
MIHOSHI
Um, you know, the speed limit here is only 80 kilometers per hour...
WASHU
Hey, no prob! Cops gotta catch 'em first, right?
[SND: Background - low, pleasant thrum.]
AEKA
Is this... the ship?
JORAN
Welcome aboard!
AEKA
But how did we get here?
JORAN
An interdimensional transporter. We've only had it for ten years.
AEKA
The ship... it's beautiful.
JORAN
Think so? She's a little young, only five years out of the nursery, but she's
a fast learner. C'mon, I'll show you around.
[SND: Door opens and closes. Footsteps.]
AEKA
So, did you receive my report?
JORAN
Oh, yes! It's the talk of Jurai! Especially this "Lord Tenchi" you
mentioned. Everyone wants to meet him.
AEKA
Well, perhaps I could introduce you.
JORAN
That would be wonderful. Oh, and I wanted to express my sincere condolences
about Youshou. It must have been so hard to have searched for so long, only
to find he'd passed away centuries ago.
AEKA
Thank you, Joran. But it's alright. He died content, surrounded by his
family. In the end, that's all you can ask for, I suppose.
[Pause.]
Sujahoh's lovely, Joran. Her foilage reminds me of my Ryuuoh.
JORAN
Ryuuoh? Was she destroyed?
AEKA
Yes. But a seed survived. I'm regrowing her.
JORAN
Wonderful! Then you'll be returning home?
AEKA
Well, I... I don't know, really. I like it on Earth.
JORAN
Not even to visit?
AEKA
Well, of course I could visit. I think. Maybe... Oh, dear! My family
doesn't think I'm avoiding them, do they?
JORAN
Well, quite frankly, we don't know really know what to think.
AEKA
Oh...
[Pause.]
JORAN
Aeka, don't be upset, but I have to say this. You had us worried sick. I
mean, you were in stasis for seven hundred years. That may not be as long
to us as it is to your human friends, but it's not exactly a tick of the
clock, either. If you'd have let us known how you were every century or so--
AEKA
Oh, Joran, I'm so sorry! You must understand, Youshou's disappearance had me
so upset. I didn't know what else to do!
JORAN
I know, Aeka. And I'm not angry or anything. I'm just trying to explain how
it's complicating matters.
AEKA
What do you mean, "complicating"?
JORAN
A lot of things are changing back home. Your father has decided to stop
taking the Water of Life.
AEKA
Oh...
[Pause.]
Well, every ruler has to make that decision someday. I wish I'd been there.
JORAN
He's strong and healthy. He should live another five hundred years at least.
But it brings into question the line of succession. There are still those
who aren't wild about bringing Earth blood into the royal family. They're
using your long isolation as an excuse to question your fitness to ascend the
throne.
AEKA
Racists.
JORAN
Your taking Sasami along messed things up even worse. As a last resort, she
could have been named successor. That would at least keep the throne within
the family. But since she was in stasis as well, she's still a small child.
As it stands now, there is great pressure on the Emperor to name a successor
from another house.
AEKA
Meddlesome aristocrats. It makes me wonder if I want to be empress. What
does Father wish me to do?
JORAN
He'd like you to come back with us and marry Lord Tenchi, with full
ceremony, in the Imperial Palace. It would be a sign to all of them that he
has no intention of naming another successor.
AEKA (embarassed)
Ummm....
JORAN
You'd live at home, in the palace. It would give you the opportunity to
demonstrate to the Noble Court that you're not a child, that you're fit to be
empress. And it would give everyone a chance to meet Tenchi. It's the
mystery surrounding him that's the biggest problem. I'm sure once we knew
him, all the objections would disappear.
AEKA
There... might be a problem.
JORAN
What kind of problem?
AEKA
Well, you see, Tenchi and I... we're not officially engaged.
[Stunned silence.]
JORAN
You mean, he hasn't proposed?!
AEKA
Well, um, it's, um, rather complicated...
JORAN
What's complicated about it? You're Crown Princess! He's Crown Prince! You
have to marry!
AEKA
B-but I don't want to force anything on him!
ANSHOU
What's going on here?
JORAN
Father.
AEKA
Uncle Anshou!
ANSHOU
You've been talking business, haven't you? Before I even had a chance to say
hello!
JORAN
Sorry, Father.
ANSHOU
Little Aeka! How lovely you look! Do you have a hug for your old Uncle?
[Aeka laughs.]
ANSHOU
Now, let's go sit down. We'll have some tea, we'll talk about old times,
*then* we'll discuss business.
AEKA
That sounds lovely. Oh! I nearly forgot. My friends! They'll be worried!
ANSHOU
Don't worry. I left them a message.
[SND: Night sounds.]
[SND: An engine fades in.]
TENCHI & FATHER (fading in)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-OOF!
FATHER
Well, we're here.
TENCHI
Thank god. I thought I was gonna die!
FATHER
So I overshot the mark a little. It wasn't all bad. We got to see the Tokyo
Tower!
TENCHI
I think that was the Eiffel Tower, dad.
FATHER
Whatever. Where's Aeka?
TENCHI
I don't see her. Oh, I hope nothing happened to her!
FATHER
Hmm. Looks like someone ran into the woods here.
TENCHI
Why would she go in there?
FATHER
I dunno. Let's go see.
[SND: Rustle of leaves and branches.]
TENCHI
AEKA!!!
FATHER
AEKA!!!
TENCHI
Wait, what's this? Let me have the flashlight.
FATHER
Looks like a piece of clothing.
TENCHI
It's a piece of Aeka's dress! She would have to have been running for it to
tear off like that.
FATHER
I found something else.
TENCHI
Aeka wasn't wearing anything like that. It looks like a military emblem.
[SND: Night sounds fade.]
GRANDFATHER
Hmmmm...
TENCHI
Do you recognize it?
GRANDFATHER
I'm not sure. It's badly torn. Let me check the book.
MIHOSHI
Is Aeka in trouble?
[SND: Ryoko teleports.]
RYOKO
TENCHI!!!
TENCHI
Get off me, Ryoko.
RYOKO
But I just wanted to say how sorry I was about everything! I'm apologizing!
TENCHI (annoyed)
It's alright.
RYOKO
REALLY?! Oh, Tenchi, that's WONDERFUL! Let's kiss and make up!
TENCHI
Not now!
RYOKO
But a reconciliation isn't official without a kiss! C'mon, just one little
one!
TENCHI
Ryoko, Aeka's gone!
RYOKO
I know that! Why do you think I'm getting so aggressive?!
TENCHI
I mean she's missing!
RYOKO
Oh. That's different.
SASAMI (worried)
What did you say?
TENCHI
N-nothing, Sasami. Go back to bed.
SASAMI
Has something happened to Aeka?
TENCHI
We don't know anything. She might have just gotten lost in the woods.
GRANDFATHER
I'm afraid that symbol belongs to a lifelong enemy of Jurai.
SASAMI
Oh, no!
MIHOSHI
That's horrible!
WASHUU
You ain't kidding! Holding a party without me?
TENCHI
(sigh) Sit down, everybody. Grandpa, what do you mean, "lifelong enemy"?
GRANDFATHER
This is the symbol of the Kizakans. Throughout the centuries, Jurai and
Kizaka have fought one bloody border war after another. I'd hoped we'd
heard the last of them just before I left Jurai, but it appears I was wrong.
MIHOSHI
Um...
TENCHI
What do these Kizakans look like?
GRANDFATHER
No one knows for sure. All the battles were fought ship-to-ship. No one has
ever managed to catch more than a fleeting glance.
SASAMI
I heard they have dark skin, long ears, and sharp pointy fangs!
MIHOSHI
Um, excuse me...
TENCHI
Brrr! Sounds scary!
MIHOSHI
Uh, guys?
TENCHI
What is it, Mihoshi?
MIHOSHI
I'm a Kizakan.
[SND: Boing!]
GRANDFATHER
Ahem. It appears I have been away from Jurai for longer than I thought.
MIHOSHI
Oh, yeah! All that "lifelong enemies" stuff was *ages* ago! We've been
friends with Jurai for at least three hundred years!
TENCHI
That's good to know, but then, how do we explain this?
MIHOSHI
Well. Hmm. Let me think. If I know my history, and I'm not sure that I do,
that's the symbol of the Kizakan Empire, which was overthrown and replaced
with a republic. Jurai helped, that's why we're friends now.
GRANDFATHER
So perhaps forces loyal to the old empire have kidnapped Aeka, to further
their cause?
MIHOSHI
Maybe.
TENCHI
This is all my fault! If I hadn't snapped at her, none of this would have
happened!
SASAMI
Tenchi...
WASHU
Lets find out what we're dealing with. Follow me!
[SND: Jurai ship sound]
KUNUZAKE
Your tea, miss.
AEKA
Thank you, Kunuzake. Mm. My, this is delicious. It's been so long since I
had Juraian tea. But shouldn't your guardians be on the bridge?
ANSHOU
Not necessary. Ashino and Kunuzake can operate the ship from any position,
even several kilometers outside the hull. I admit having them serve tea is a
bit silly, but I wanted to give them the chance to impress you.
AEKA
Well, they have indeed. Thank you very much.
ASHINO & KUNUZAKE
Ma'am!
ANSHOU
It is *so* good to see you again, Aeka. You can't believe how much we've
missed you. Why just the other day, Joran was reminiscing about your
favorite spot in the royal redfruit grove.
JORAN
Father! That's embarrassing.
AEKA
How many times did we get caught for picking the fruit?
JORAN
I lost count.
ANSHOU
It never stopped him, though, no matter what the punishment. It was only
after he got sick from eating unripe fruit that he finally stopped.
AEKA
(giggles) You know, I think the only time I ever really got in trouble is
when I was with you. It sure was fun, though.
JORAN (joking)
Well, I'm glad I gave you something to remember.
ANSHOU
You know, I'd always hoped the two of you would end up together.
JORAN
Father, please! I was four years younger than her.
ANSHOU
One of the benefits of being such a long-lived race is that, eventually, we're
all the same age, more or less. But you're right, on reflection, it was
silly of me. I want to show you something, Aeka. Here.
AEKA
What is it?
ANSHOU
Open it.
AEKA
It's... beautiful.
ANSHOU
That, Aeka, is the "Star of Jurai".
AEKA
Really. My father had told me about it once. It's even bigger than I'd
imagined...
JORAN
It's one of the largest gems of its kind in the universe.
ANSHOU
More importantly, it symbolizes the bond between my house and yours. I was
wondering if you would do me the great honor of wearing it on your wedding
day.
AEKA
Of course I will. How could I refuse my favorite uncle?
ANSHOU
Thank you, Aeka. This means a lot to me.
AEKA
Besides, it goes with my eyes, don't you think?
[All laugh.]
ANSHOU
Now, if you'll forgive me, I have some things to tend to on the bridge. I
should be back shortly. Ashino, Kunuzake, follow me.
[SND: Beeps and buzzes of Washu's lab.]
WASHU
Right there, see? There is definitely a ship in orbit matching the
description of a Kizakan imperial vessel. Problem is, they're under a heavy
cloak, so I can't contact them from here. Someone will have to go up there
in a ship. Preferably an armed one, if I'm reading these power levels right.
TENCHI
Is Aeka on board?
WASHU
I can't tell.
TENCHI
Well, even if they don't have her, they probably know something. We'd better
get up there.
RYOKO
No prob! We'll go in Ryo-oh-ki!
TENCHI
Great! The sooner the bet--
RYOKO
On *one* condition!
TENCHI
Um, what condition?
RYOKO
After we've safely rescued the princess...
TENCHI (apprehensive)
Yes?
RYOKO
You give me a kiss!
TENCHI
Aw, Ryoko!
RYOKO
Hey, I'm letting you off easy! I could ask you to profess your undying love
for me, or better yet, spend a night playing snuggle-bunnies under the sheets!
MIHOSHI
We could take my ship! I've got, like, guns and stuff too!
[Pause.]
TENCHI
Just one kiss?
[SND: Jurai ship, plus extra noises, beeps, chirps, and hums to signify the
bridge.]
ASHINO
A launch has been detected from the planet's surface.
ANSHOU
Identification?
ASHINO
It is the pirate ship Ryo-oh-ki.
KUNUZAKE
Two life-forms are inside. They have been identified as the pirate Ryoko and
Prince Tenchi.
ANSHOU
Yes! Right into my hands. Be patient, Joran. Your father's about to make
a small change in the line of succession.
JORAN
Aeka... I want to apologize for being so short with you before.
AEKA
Oh, Joran, you don't have to--
JORAN
Yes, I do! I had no business speaking to you like that. It was just nerves.
I'd been looking forward to meeting you again for so long, but when I did, I
didn't know what to say. I mean, I wanted to reminisce about old times, but
I... I was too nervous...
AEKA
Nervous about what?
JORAN
You know...
AEKA
No...
JORAN
Oh, come on. You know I had a crush on you.
AEKA
Oh...
JORAN
I mean, I was the little boy, and you were the beautiful older girl. I got
into so much trouble trying to impress you.
AEKA
(laughs) Well, it worked!
JORAN
And now, here you are, just as young and beautiful as the last time I saw
you.
[Pause]
It's funny. I'm older than you now, but I still feel like the little boy.
[SND: A low boom, followed by the rumble of the ship shaking.]
AEKA
AAH!
JORAN
What was that?!
ANSHOU (speakers)
Joran, get Aeka to safety! We're under attack!
JORAN
Attack?! By whom?
ANSHOU
No time to explain! Just do as I say!
[SND: Ryo-oh-ki]
TENCHI
Did you have to do that?!
RYOKO
Aw, that was just a love tap! My way of saying hello!
TENCHI
But what if they shoot back?!
RYOKO
Kizakans? Those wimps? Ryo-oh-ki could take out an entire fleet of those
losers! Isn't that right, Ryo-oh-ki?
RYO-OH-KI
MIYA!
[SND: Sujahoh bridge]
ANSHOU
Thank you, miss space pirate. Now I don't even have to an invent an excuse!
Ashino! Kunuzake! FIRE!!
ASHINO and KUNUZAKE
Yes, sir!
[SND: Loud energy blast, explosion, rumble]
TENCHI
AAAAAH!
RYOKO
DAMMIT! Those are Juraian weapons! Ryo-oh-ki, evasive manuevers!!
RYO-OH-KI
MIYAA!!
ANSHOU
Oh, no you don't! Pursue and continue firing!
[SND: Two energy blasts, rumble]
RYOKO
UNH! Damn! How'd they get Juraian weapons?
TENCHI
Well, Mihoshi did say they were friends!
RYOKO
Oh, gimme a break! Jurai never shares anything! Ryo-oh-ki!! Turn and
attack! NOW!!
[SND: Loud rumble as Sujahoh shakes]
AEKA
AAA-OOF!
JORAN
Are you alright?
AEKA
Yes, I'm-- Oh, NO! That's Ryo-oh-ki out there!
JORAN
Ree-oh-what?
AEKA
The ship! I know it! Oh, Ryoko, do you hate me that much?!
JORAN
You know that ship?
AEKA
It belongs to a... rival of mine. Well, this time I'm putting a stop to it!
If she wants an apology, she'll get one! I'll show Tenchi which of us is the
mature one! Joran, put me in contact with that ship!
JORAN
I don't know if that's possible.
TENCHI
You got 'em good that time!
RYOKO
Yeah, but I took worse than I got!
[SND: Explosion, ship shakes]
RYOKO
How ya doin', Ryo-oh-ki?
RYO-OH-KI
Miyeeew...
RYOKO
That bad, huh?
TENCHI
Aren't you used to fighting Juraian ships?
RYOKO
No, I'm used to running from them! Only an idiot fights one!
[SND: Explosion, ship shakes]
RYOKO and TENCHI
AAAAHH!
ANSHOU
HA HA HAAAA!! Just a few more good shots should do it! Don't let up!
[SND: Energy blast, explosion, Ryo-oh-ki shakes]
RYOKO
That's it! We're done for! We've gotta get out of here!
TENCHI
But Aeka--!
RYOKO
We'll be destroyed if we stick around!
TENCHI
I'm not leaving without Aeka!!
RYOKO
Dammit, Tenchi-- Wait! There's one last chance! Ryo-oh-ki! Head for the
Earth's moon! As fast as you can!!
RYO-OH-KI
MIYA!!!
ANSHOU
Well, this is interesting. Pursue!
JORAN (speakers)
Father? This is Joran.
ANSHOU
What is it, Joran? I'm rather busy.
JORAN (speakers)
I understand, Father. But Aeka believes she can halt the pirate ship's
attack, if only she can be put in contact with it.
ANSHOU
Really? Unfortunately, the communication system was damaged in the attack.
[SND: Sujahoh, no bridge noises]
JORAN
I see. Sorry to have bothered you, Father.
AEKA
There must be some way to contact Ryoko.
JORAN
Of course! I've got a portable comm terminal. Stay here, I'll bring it.
TENCHI
Wow. I never thought I'd ever be this close to the Moon.
RYOKO
We're gonna get a lot closer.
TENCHI
Uh, w-what are you planning?
RYOKO
Just hang on to something sturdy.
TENCHI
(gulp)
ANSHOU
So, they're going to hide behind the planet's moon. How pathetic. Ashino!
Kunuzake! Take us around the moon, on an opposite vector. We'll meet them
on the other side.
TENCHI (nervously)
We're getting awfully close.
RYOKO
Ryo-oh-ki, are you ready?
RYO-OH-KI
MIYA!!
RYOKO
GO!!
[SND: Engines fire full power]
TENCHI
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
RYOKO
HANG ON!!
TENCHI
WE'RE GONNA CRASH!!
RYOKO (straining)
NO... WE'RE NOT! WE'RE JUST GOING TO...
[SND: sssssSSSSSSSHHHHHHHOOOOOMMM!]
SLINGSHOT!!
ANSHOU
I don't get this... Where are they? Where-- MY GOD!! EVASIVE MANUEVERS!!
EVASIVE--!!
RYOKO
FIRE!!!!
[SND: Massive firing, explosions, rumbles.]
ANSHOU
RETURN FIRE!!
ASHINO
Weapons offline!
ANSHOU
No...
RYOKO
HAHAHAHAAA!! YES! YES!! KICKED IT'S *ASS*!!
TENCHI
Great! Let's get Aeka out of there!
RYOKO
No prob! Oh, look! They want to surrender.
[SND: Bee-boop!]
This Ryoko, Space Pirate Supreme! You will hand over the Princess Aeka at
once, or face the conseque-- Huh? Aeka?
AEKA (speakers)
Ryoko, please stop this senseless attack! I'm sorry I was rude to you!
RYOKO
What the hell are you talking about?
AEKA (speakers)
I'm sorry that I was rude to you at the beach. In the future, I'll--
Tenchi?
TENCHI
Aeka, are you alright?
AEKA (speakers)
I'm fine. Why did you let Ryoko attack our ship? Is Ryoko threatening you?
TENCHI
We're trying to rescue you!
ANSHOU
What is going on? We're helpless as a newborn. Why don't they finish us
off? Or at least issue demands.
KUNUZAKE
Sir, weapons are operational.
[pause]
ANSHOU
Fire.
AEKA
Rescue me? From what?
TENCHI (speakers)
Weren't you kidnap--ZZZZAAKKKKZZT!
[SND: Tenchi's voice dissolves into static, followed by silence.]
AEKA
Tenchi? Tenchi?
[SND: Massive explosion]
ANSHOU
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Blown to PIECES!!
AEKA
Nuh... Nuh... No. N-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! TENCHI!!
TENCHIIIII!!!!
SASAMI (narrating)
Oh, dear! Is this the end of Tenchi? Has our handsome hero been blown to
ashes in the cold vacuum of space? (laughs) Well, of course not, silly!
But if you want to find out how he survived, you'll have to tune in to the
conclusion of "Star of Jurai". Until then, this is Sasami, signing off!
------
Thanks to Alex Pinachos for the awesome logo-graphic!