===========================================================================
And there is even a happiness
That makes the heart afraid.
- Thomas Hood, "Ode to Melancholy"
===========================================================================
(The Near Future)
Everyone was on a big couch.
Nobody knew exactly where -here- was, but they instinctively knew -why-
they had ended up -here-
Ryoga munched on some chips. It didn't help his mood. It wasn't likely
to, considering the shape he was in.
Ukyo was reading through a cookbook.
Ranma and Akane thumbed through some magazines.
Shampoo was steaming mad, but sitting still. She felt that this was a lousy
way to wrap up a day like this.
Mousse was asleep. He couldn't tolerate waiting rooms.
Ryo had trouble adjusting to his new surroundings. "Ryoga, I find it hard
to believe that you're accepting this. You're taking this far too calmly."
"I dunno. I guess I just accepted it."
"I just want to check with you one more time. You _know_ that we're dead,
right?"
"Yup. Dead."
"With a bang," added Ranma.
"Big white light and all that," said Ukyo.
"This sucks," muttered Shampoo.
=============================================================================
Once Upon A Time...
Life was strange.
Especially in Nerima.
Here, in this little part of Japan, there's a force at work. It's a strange
sort of force, the kind that somehow keeps things the same although it may
seem to change. For as long as man existed, there's always been death,
alwaysbeen love, and always been taxes. People have always flown, it's
just the mode of transit that's changed(1).
The terms for it are many: odds, probbability, most likely event, etc...
The important thing to note is this: there's always been somebody in Nerima
that ended up with an absurd number of love interests and stricken by a certain
amount of fortunate, unfortunate, and just strange events.
This has been the case for several hundred years now, and has gone beyond
tradition and is now considered to be a natural event, like a hurricane or
volcano or a landslide.
For a while, there was a lack of love trianges/squares/pentagons/etc. but then
suddenly a fellow named Saotome started a chain of events that would release
whole-scale madness upon Nerima. After all, when a volcano lies dormant for so
long but threatens to erupt again, you can be sure that the explosion and
resulting mess will be _big_. The end result was roughly three fiancees,
possibly more, several love interests of _both_ genders, and an impressive
rogue's gallery all circling around one Ranma Saotome.
Then, to the surprise of the forces of the universe, it stopped.
Hurrah, hurrah, the boy finally showed his feelings and broke the
circles that orbited dangerously around him.
That wouldn't do. Someone had to be the victim. And so, purely as a random
victim of circumstances, Ryoga Hibiki had suddenly acquired a fiancee,
several love interests, and an impressive rogues gallery.
And that's where things are today...
but that doesn't mean that they accepted things as status quo.
No, life goes on, with the pursuit of money, love, peace, and power.
You know, the usual stuff.
The pursuit of happiness.
------
"M" productions presents
--------------------------
=The Pursuit Of Happiness=
--------------------------
sequel to the fanfic
"The More Things Change"
a Ranma 1/2 fanfic
based on characters & stories by
Rumiko Takahashi
BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION
BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION
BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION BETA VERSION
* * *
=======================
=PRELUDES, LOTS OF 'EM=
=======================
(in an age long past...)
The old warrior/wizard stood defiantly in front of the warriors before him.
He knew he was beaten. There was no way out. He could barely hold on to his
staff. The long battle had taken its toll on him, and he could fight no
longer.
"Xiang Lo! it is over!"
With a flash of metal, the sorcerer was beheaded. His body shook. His
hands released their grip on his staff and sword.
The assembled warriors, all tired after their long battle against hordes
of henchmen and evil creatures, stood solemnly, enjoying the victory.
One of them stepped towards the body. "Men, we should safeguard these
devices, so that no evil may use them ever again." He bent down and picked
up the decapitated head. "Lo Chan of the Jokuzetsu Tribe, you shall protect
the..."
From just a few feet away, the evil sorcerer angrily stood. There were
several problems he was facing. First of all, he was dead. There was
no denying it. There was his body, lying right in front of him, and his
head was being tossed around by one of those righteous arrogant bastards.
"Don't worry, you get used to it," a female voice said.
The sorcerer turned around slowly.
"Sorcerer Xiang Lo?"
"That is me."
"Hi. I'm Death."
"You... do not appear as I expected you to."
"It's because I'm a lady, right?"
"Well, yes." Xiang was not sure what to think. Death was apparently a
rather cute young lady wearing all black and was a bit pale too. The part
about all black and being pale was alright, but the cute, young, and female
parts were a bit of a surprise.
"So, this is how being dead is."
"Yup."
"You know, I was _so_ close to unimaginable power," he said.
"Yeah. Stuff happens."
"Just a few minutes more, a few more incantations, and... oh well."
"It's best not to mope on the past so much."
"So, what happens now?"
"You go. Leave all this behind."
"If I may, there is just one more thing I wish to do..."
"Okay, but you haven't much time."
Xiang looked angrily at the warriors who continued to take his possesions.
"To those who dared defy the mighty Xiang Lo, I curse them with..."
Lo Shun shivered.
"Shun? what's wrong?"
"I... am not sure."
Shun thought that he heard some definitely sinister laughter echoing in the
distance. He listened. It was gone.
"Watch your step when we get outta here, all these springs are supposed
to be cursed, y'know."
* * *
(Several years ago, UWSMA Training Hall)
In the dojo Ryo and Ryoga stood their ground. Ryo held his personal design
Euro-style umbrella while Ryoga had his titanium special ready to go.
Ryo had a bruised eye, a massive headache, his jaw was swelling, his legs
were shaking, and one of his ribs was feeling not-so-good.
Ryoga wasn't looking too good either. There were various slashes across his
arms, legs, and chest. A red cut ran above his eyes. He too, had a massive
headache, and his arms were bruised to a largely uncomfortable degree.
Ryoko looked on, worrying greatly. "Guys, it's been five hours straight
now. C'mon, take a break."
I haven't had a fight this good in a long while, thought Ryoga. Damn, he's
good. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he's trying to kill me.
Damn him, thought Ryo. Why won't he fall? I _am_ the best. I _am_ going
to be the heir to the dojo here, not some outsider who came wandering by!
"Enough!" yelled Ryo. He charged forward recklessly. Ryoga swiped forward
with his umbrella, but Ryo slid under, hooked Ryoga's leg with the umbrella
handle, stood up quickly and swung the pointed end down at Ryoga's throat.
"STOP!" Ryoko covered her eyes. She had a feeling Ryo resented Ryoga a
bit, but didn't know how far he'd go until today.
Ryo froze.
His umbrella was barely touching Ryoga's throat.
Ryoga's umbrella was barely touching the side of his skull.
They stared at each other, Ryoga with a touch of fear, Ryo with an
emotinless gaze.
Ryo smiled. "Ha! Good match, I think it's a draw, yes?" He slowly lifted
his umbrella away from Ryoga's throat. Damn, he thought to himself, why can't
I kill him?
Ryoga was shaken. What was that look in Ryo's eyes at that last moment?
It seemed like Ryo was _someone_else_, someone dangerous...
"Come on, come on! Let's go out and get something! You guys missed lunch!"
Ryoko said cheerily, trying to ease down the tensions.
"Yeah, let's do that..." muttered Ryo, wiping the sweat off of his brow.
"Ryoga, you said you're not staying here long?"
"It's a personal matter. I probbably won't be able to stay long."
"Oh. Good."
* * *
(Here and Now...)
Two mighty warriors stood alone on a grassy field. There was Haohmaru,
the legendary swordsman with his white outfit and long black hair in a spiky
ponytail, and Genjuro, his nemisis, with purple hair, dark eyes, and clad in
blue samurai pants with his shirt hanging around his waist. The two had been
in combat for a while now, and both felt the end was near.
Genjuro surged forward, his sword cutting across Haohmaru's chest once,
twice, and then coming down hard on Haohmaru's shoulder.
The evil Genjuro backed away, getting his next attack ready.
Haohmaru got up and was an angry shade of red. He reared back and swung
forward with his mighty sword, yelling "Ougi Senpuuretsuzan!" creating an
energized tornado that zoomed towards his foe. Genjuro waved his own sword
and a gigantic card suddenly flew forth, running into and destroying the
tornado. Genjuro charged forward once more, hoping to catch Haohmaru off
guard once again, but this time the legendary swordsman was ready. Suddenly,
Haohmaru spun his sword wildly, yelling "Tempa-Fuuzin-Zan!!!" The blade dug
into Genjuro seven times and sent him reeling unto the floor. His weapon flew
into the air and shattered.
Haohmaru looked towards his enemy and taunted "Doshita Doshita!"
Genjuro stood, now also a deep shade of red, and looked mad as hell. He
rushed at Haohmaru, who casually swiped at him with his sword. To Haohmaru's
surprise, Genjuro caught the sword and threw Haohmaru hard across the field.
This time Genjuro taunted, as he gestured for Haohmaro to return and yelled
"SORE DAKE GA!"
Haohmaru was not amused.
The mighty warrior reared back, preparing to throw another tornado blast.
Genjuro, seeing the movement, jumped over and prepared to apply the killing
blow. Suddenly, Haohmaru whirled his sword around and yelled "Ougi
Kogetsuzan!". He flew into the air, spinning his sword which dug into
Genjuro, wounding him fatally. His body slowly faded, splitting in half...
*
"Heh. Got you at last, Saotome."
"Man, I knew I shoulda used someone else."
Ryoga and Ranma were killing time in the only way currently possible since
their accident(2) and hospitalization: they were playing video games, and lots
of them. After being bored to dangerous levels for two weeks, Ukyo surprised
them and rented out the system, as well as a large-screen television. The
current game of choice was Samurai Spirits 2. Ryoga, Ranma, Gosunkugi,
Tsubasa, and even Kuno(3) had friendly matches squared off against each other.
The Muhoshins, with the exception of Ryo(4), managed to recover faster
than expected and left the hospital already. This did not make Ryo happy,
especially since he was still stuck with, as far as he was concerned, a pack
of idiots in a hospital roon. Also, there was the matter of apartment
hunting which he did not trust them to do at all.
Tsubasa was expected to be released by the middle of the week. He was
anxious to leave. Representatives from Mishima Heavy Industries came by to
visit and started asking questions. When representatives from the Mishima
Corp. start asking around, something interesting or terrible is usually about
to happen. It would be definitely safer for him to hide out until he found
out which.
Gosunkugi spent the two weeks reconsidering his approach to life entirely.
They'd asked him exactly how he ended up in that fight anyways, and he made
up some story about just being in the area. Maybe they didn't believe him,
but nobody noticed him targeting anyone in particular and nobody was holding
a grudge (except that Ryo guy, who seemed annoyed at everybody). This was a
good time to think about a change in lifestyle. After all, he'd almost been
killed. Was this the right way to go about living his life? He wasn't a
martial artist. A budding wizard, yes, but NOT a martial artist. And this
whole dating thing was also proving to be kinda hazzardous to his health.
He was young, maybe he shouldn't rush things?
Ryo had spent his two weeks in a very odd mood. It all began after the
first week they were stuck in the hospital. Ryo recieved a telegram, and after
reading it he settled into a sedate calm. He looked at Ryoga and said "Well,
Ryoga, you're off the hook. For now."
Ryoga looked at Ryo curiously. "Oh? Why's that?"
Ryo tossed the telegram to Ryoga, who read it:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO: All Members of the U.W.S.M.A. currently under asignment.
RE: Current Ops
As of 1/7/95 all operations concerning the UWSMA restoration program are
placed on hiatus.
The UWSMA Legal Trust Fund will _not_ be available for use. Any covert
action done by students and agents of the UWSMA from this point forward
will be considered unofficial actions and will not be supported by the
UWSMA.
Have a nice day!
UWSMA, Administrative Offices
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ryoga, pass my sister the letter."
Ryoga tossed the letter to Ryoko, who also read it.
"So what?" she asked, "Now you definitely can't kill him."
"You don't have the backing of the UWSMA to date him either."
"I'll do what I want! I'm already 16 and-"
Ryoga had almost forgotten about that. "Excuse me..."
"You haven't even SEEN Mr. Lost here for a couple of years. Maybe he's
already dating somebody?"
"Excuse me, I just wanna sa-"
"Or maybe he's some sort of deviant?"
"Hey! I-"
"Ryoga-chan is NOT a deviant!"
"I am NOT a dev-"
"I think you're in love with the _idea_ of being in love."
"Shut up! You aren't my dad!"
"I'm older. I'm wiser."
"By a year!"
"But still, older and wiser than _you_"
Ryo raved on, getting some surprised looks from several people in the room.
They were surprised to hear such a speach in moral behaviour and the
righteousness of properly done romatic pursuit from a Gosunkugi clone with an
attitude.
They also had to admit, he sounded more like her father than her brother.
Ryoga felt good about it. Now Ryo would stop trying to kill him. He'd
have to have a talk with Ryoko too. After all, he wasn't like that idiot
Ranma. No way, no sir, would he let this situation drag on and end up with
a trail of broken hearts.
Since then, Ryo was rather sedate and took up an unusual hobby. He'd ask
his siblings (who were now mobile and out of the hospital) for several items,
like something made out of metal and wood, or sometimes strange items like
clamshells or a large bone, preferrably from a cow or pig, just as long as it
was large. Ryo would stare at them for quite a while, turning them over in
his hands. Sometimes, when Ukyo was visiting, Ryo would glance at her too, as
if studying her as well.
At one point Ranma was annoyed enough by this behaviour to ask what was
going on. "Hey, what'cha doin?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing."
Ryo waited until he was sure nobody was watching him, and then poked a
chicken bone with his toothpick. It cracked and fell apart.
Ryo smiled.
"Bakusaitenketsu. Heh."
And to think that they only used this techniques on boulders?
The Chinese Amazons had no imagination.
* * *
A gentleman clad in a suit was impatiently holding unto a payphone in a
rather elegant, expensive, and probbably four star hotel.
He was put on hold.
He wasn't amused.
His name was Eiji and his current assignment, as told by the home office,
was to be on the security detail of the United Nations delegate from Japan.
Yeah, sure, that was nice, but for how long? What were the terms of the
contract? Wasn't there supposed to be others assigned to this detail too?
The delegate wouldn't be in a garden _all_ the time, so how the hell was
Eiji supposed to guard him properly?
A voice began to speak on the phone. "You have reaced the central
administration office of the Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts."
"Hello? Yeah, this is Eiji Sakemoto from the Garden Equipment divis-"
"We're sorry that a live representative isn't available today, so just
leave a mes-" *click*
Eiji hung up the phone in disgust.
Damn bureaucracies.
He sighed, straightened out his tie, smoothened his jacket, picked up
his rake, and tried to ignore the stares he recieved from the guests. This
was a job for the Dining Utensils, hell, even the Kitchen Utensils division,
but certainly _not_ for the Garden Equipment division.
This was so embarrasing.
* * *
Soun and Genma looked down at the paperwork piled before them. Water
bills, electricity bills, taxes, and rough estimates by Nabiki on how
much in food, supply, and repair expenses would be needed for the coming
months.
"Hm. Looks like a serious problem, Tendo."
"Indeed it does, Saotome."
"Hm..."
"It's time to look through our ancient tomes of lore for guidence.... hey,
it's missing."
"Kasumi! Do you know where the Anything Goes School of Financial Management
is? It seems to have been misplaced!"
"Ask Nabiki. I think she's been reading through it again."
* * *
A fearsome man, clad in a red military uniform and large black cape, glowing
with dark swirls of energy, sat in his control room, frowning.
The lord of the Shadoloo was puzzled.
Several weeks ago he had infused a Japanese martial artist with a link to
the energy of Psycho Power. The fool believed it to be an accident.
It wasn't.
The lord of the Shadoloo wasn't just about conquest, fortune, and
domination. He was about chaos, and if what he saw in Mr. Muhoshin was true,
then there'd be plenty of chaos spread by him, thus further tipping the
overall amout of chaos in the world and hopefully alarming whatever lords of
Order there may be left in the world.
The usual results of being infused with Psycho Power were usually very
noticable. There was normally a considerable boost in strength, endurance,
sensory perception, a large boost to any ki-based attacks, teleportation,
and flight.
There was a side effect that Mr. Muhoshin wasn't told about. To train and
acquire the Power was one thing, but when it is given in a certain way, the
giver can seize control over the reciever at any given time. It takes alot of
concentration, but masters of Psycho Power could do it easily enough. That
power came in handy when a minor threat to the Shadoloo's hold in Japan came
to town. Some gangster known as "Mr. Big", a man who worked for the American
gangster Geese Howard, had come into town. Immediately, Ryo was taken over,
and the lord of the Shadoloo used the puppet to slaughter the fools. Of
course, it wouldn't do for Ryo to find out he was a puppet, so he implanted
the idea that this was merely a job he was hired to do by the Shadoloo
organization and deposited a fairly large amount of money into the puppet's
account to complete the deception.
Things were going smoothly.
And then something strange happened. Mr. Muhoshin had somehow given
someone else the power as well. That shouldn't have been possible. It
caused no alarm. Merely a curious show of power on Mr. Muhoshin's part.
And then, days later, the link was disrupted.
The lord of the Shadoloo assumed that he had, for some strange reason,
rejected the Psycho Power and tried to cut the link (which would be difficult
to do) or that he was greatly injured in a battle and was now floating in
and out of consciousness. The last image that he saw from Ryo was indeed
a great battle ensuing, with much mayhem and fire.
(flasback)
Ryo swung wildly and desperately, suddenly caught in a surprise mass
melee. Kuno to the left of him, some titanic mech behind him, his siblings
to his right, some others around him, a pig (a pig?) zoomed by somewhere, and
that bastard Happosai was flying all over the damn place.
He needed to get clear. He needed some room. Ryo picked a direction
and ran hard. He nailed Kuno in the gut with his shoulder and together
they were seperated from the crowd, and ran straight into...
Gosunkugi? What was he doing? Waving his arms? Suddenly, a bright
light shone from him, and it was racing towards Ryo...
(end flashback)
Since that incident, anything that came from Ryo Muhoshin's eyes was
very blurry and only came in small bits, as if the connection was almost cut
but not quite.
The last clear thing the puppet saw was... a wizard? He battled a wizard?
_That_ was an interesting possibility. But that was another thing. For now,
the problem was the sudden dissapearance of Ryo Muhoshin, and it seemed that
he was probbably brain-damaged or catatonic.
The crime lord closed his eyes, concentrated, and severed the remains of
the mental link between himself and whatever was left of Ryo Muhoshin.
Then he called a lackey.
"Takashi!"
A gigantic man entered, standing at possibly seven feet tall and probbably
four hundred pounds in weight(5).
"Update me on the progress of our little contest."
The lord of the Shadoloo was still a bit bothered about the aparent loss
of Ryo Muhoshin. He needed some cannon fodder for a little martial arts
tournament that he had lined up...
* * *
"/AND THEY'RE OFF!/"
Everyone in the hospital room was watching the television with great
interest. Their favorite gameshow, <ednote: aw shit... gotta think of
something>, was on, and it was showing the bit where people in gigantic mascott
outfits raced across the ice. The frog had the lead for a while, but then the
pink elephant got the lead. Unfortunately, he slipped, and the fish in a
spacesuit won.
Everyone blinked.
"Well," said Ranma, "that was interesting."
"The pig would've won," said Ryoga. "That mascott in the duck outfit just
kept on running into him."
"Fish in a spacesuit? Who's ever heard of a fish in a spacesuit?" grumbled
Tsubasa.
"Don't ask me," muttered Gosunkugi. He didn't care too much for this bit.
The stuff where the contestants do terrible and embarrasing things like
get bludgeoned while running an obstacle course were more to his liking.
"I mean, c'mon, _who_ would be silly enough to use a fish in a spacesuit
as their company logo? Or anything? It's just so... er..."
A visitor walked towards the main entrance of the hospital. Tsubasa noticed
and turned towards the others.
"Hey!" he hissed, "It's her again!"
Several people turned towards Ranma with a menacing glare.
He became very nervous.
"Saotome, watch your big mouth," threatened Ryoga.
"Ranma Saotome you had best keep thy comments on polite levels, fiend,
else we may be forced to strike thee down."
"Oh, this again? At least get a little beyond the scope of tomboy! Pervert!
Tomboy! Pervert! Deviant! Macho chick!" crowed Tsubasa.
"Hey! Shut up!"
"I swear, you two have no imagination..."
"Ranma, _please_, just be nice to her?" begged Gosunkugi.
Ryo raised an eyebrow at the incoming comotion, put on some earplugs, and
then went back to his work. He'd been fiddling around with those little
umbrellas that came with pina-colada drinks.
Gosunkugi was having a bad feeling about this. Akane hadn't entered the
room yet and there was already a potential for heavy destruction.
It was generally agreed by everyone in the room that not only were the
fights between Ranma and Akane annoying, but incredibly lacking in variety and
also not very healthy for anyone in the room. Akane had accidentally
mallet-slammed Ryoga and Kuno the week before, while Ranma frantically hobbled
around in his casts and demonstrated how mobile a scared and injured person
could really be.
"Hey guys!" said Akane as she entered.
The room grew tense. Just one wrong word and the whole situation would blow
up. Everyone watched in silence as Akane walked up to Ranma.
"Oh, uh, hi Akane," said Ranma nervously.
Good start. Tsubasa and Gosunkugi nodded in approval. Ryoga and Kuno
didn't budge. Ryo was reading the newspaper.
"I, um, brought you something to eat..."
Uh oh. Food. Tough topic to get around. Always got those two yelling.
The last thing that Akane brought in had to be beaten down with a bedpan.
Kuno looked around for a stick, a broom, or even a fork.
"... from Kasumi."
Several people in the room sighed with relief. Then they realized the
danger was only half-over. Ranma still had to say something. And with his
habits, he just might say something stupid.
Ryoga glared at Ranma in warning.
Akane glanced around and wondered what was going on.
"That's... um... thanks," said Ranma.
Suddenly, the room felt much less tense.
Ryo looked at Ranma and Akane carefully, observing the situation, and took
off the earplugs. He wanted to be sure that he wasn't too disturbed. It was
bad enough that his head was starting to ring with those _other_ voices again.
He'd been struggling to stay in command, but sometimes he found himself
humming a little tune and it was something _they_ were humming, really. Not
him. But he'd stayed in control. And now _he_ was focused on the task at
hand. After all, strategies and plans need good attention to grow and work,
and these idiots would never bother him again if it worked out.
He hummed.
* * *
There was a field. A big field. It stretched on endlessly for as far as
the eye could see. The grass waved in a hypnotic sort of wave with the wind,
expect for under one tree where the grass was cut immaculately to a level
that would make most golf course designers cry in admiration.
A small group gathered around the shade of the tree, avoiding the
noonday sun. The breeze was brisk and the air temperature was just right,
as it usually was. They gathered here often to relax, although today they
were a bit anxious.
"So, how's that Gosunkugi doing?"
"Hm? You mean the one that we did the whole mysterious-people-in-robes
and this-is-your-possible-destiny thing with just a few months ago?"
"Mm. Yes. That's the one."
"I hate the bit with the robes and the hoods."
"I dunno, I kinda like hanging around that dimension and talking like that
all the time."
"Talking like what?"
TALKING LIKE THIS.
"Oh."
"Well, I find it annoying."
"Well, it is annoying, but could you imagine what would happen if he saw
exacty who we are before he's ready?"
One of them sighed.
"Yes. Good point."
"He'd probbably think he were insane."
"It's not like we're ugly. I mean, some of us have girlfriends."
"Not that! You know what I mean."
"Anyways, what about that recent one?"
"He's almost over the bit with the dolls."
"Still with the dolls?"
"Too bad that he's going so slowly at it."
"Yes, usually they either accelerate like a rocket and then end up joining
us, or they opt for the regular life."
The people fell into silence, some munching on sandwiches, others sipping
down drinks. Finally, one broke the silence.
"Anyways, who's keeping track of that rogue right now?"
"Twelve and twenty-three are."
"Hm."
"The rogue still chasing after stuff?"
"Stuff?"
"You know, magical stuff."
"Hm. Yeah."
"Funny how he's never succeeded yet, y'know?"
"Mm. Well, we haven't exactly had any major victories over him either."
"Oh, here's a surveilence photo that 23 took."
"23? Good with a camera, that one is."
"Was. Look at this, it's too blurry."
The photograph was indeed blurry, showing a figure, not very clearly,
walking along a busy downtown street.
Oh, I know why it's blurry. It was taken in the rain, see? Everyone's
holding up an umbrella, even him."
"Hm. He's in Hong Kong."
WHAT'S IN HONG KONG?
Several people gave one person in particular a harsh glare.
WHAT?
"Now you're being silly."
"Which Hong Kong?"
"In 12's."
"Anyways, they said they lost track of him a few months back. He's managed
to hide his presence to us. This could be bad."
* * *
The village was as it was for the past thousand years.
The sound of children playing, people working, couples in love...
*CRASH*
She couldn't take it anymore.
Cologne sat in front of her little wooden home in the Jokuzetsu village,
bored beyond all defenitions and synonyms of the word. Yes it was nice to
return to the place where she was held in high regard and obeyed as their
one true leader, and not insulted and constantly challanged by young upstart
martial artists.
But _nothing_ ever happened. Nothing interesting anyways.
"//Mousse you idiot!!!//"
"//But Shampoo...//"
Just the usual everyday, for the LAST THOUSAND YEARS kind of routine.
There was plenty to do, it was just plenty of the same old hum-drum
village chores and duties. Those have been done with little change throughout
the years, and she didn't look forward to being a part of them again.
It was hard for her to believe, but she thought that she just might have
made a mistake in coming back. She missed matching wits and fists with
Ranma. She missed clashing with that bastard Happosai. She missed running
a nice little resteraunt in a big metropolitan area.
But she was the leader here, and her business in Japan was done. Cologne
thought about passing the leadership of the tribe to Shampoo and just skipping
out to do a world tour. But no, that would be irresponsible. Besides, she
and her... her... and that idiot Mousse weren't getting along like good
Amazon Queens should.
"//I swear, if it wasn't for the Jokuzetsu Laws, I'd kill you!//"
"//I'm sorry! Really!//"
"//Stop talking to the plants, you idiot!!!//"
Cologne sighed, inhaled deeply from her pipe, and began mentally ironing out
the details for next week's ceremony. Yet another ceremony that had been done
over and over for hundreds of years, but a necessary duty indeed.
"//Darling! Please!//"
"//That's the goat, you dummy!//"
*WHAM*
* * *
Kodachi Kuno had been silent. She'd been silent ever since the first week
of hospitalization passed by.
The doctors, while taking a blood sample, discovered a wild amount of
unusual chemicals running wild in her blood and had quickly sent her to be
detoxified, her blood filtered of all foreign substances.
To the surprise of the doctors, nurses, and everyone else forced to share
the same room, she had since then become mild.
Incredibly mild.
No more wild cackling.
No more flashes of psychotic rage.
Not even an insult.
Just the occasional "yes" and "no" and maybe a sentance of less than five
words, but not much else.
Had they known that her body was _used_ to being infused with miscellaneous
foreign chemical substances of a wild botanical nature, then they'd understand
exactly why her body was rather shocked at its sudden absence.
Kodachi, now purified, became rather silent.
It was an eerie sort of silence.
Ever since her early return from the hospital to the Kuno estate, it just
hadn't been the same. Sasuke's nerves were on end. A cackling violent
Kodachi was one thing, but a silent undetectable and violent Kodachi was
creepy beyond words.
* * *
"I tell ya, this is a winner! We tape the event, market and sell it, and
we're a smash!"
"I dunno..."
"You ever see how much the Ultimate Fighting Championship makes in America?
These Nerima kids fight with even flashier techniques! It'll be a hit!"
"Hm. I guess you're right, but what about the property damage?"
"We'll hold it all in a stadium. Plenty of room. Probbably hold the grand
finale out in an open space like a field, or maybe a rock quarry. Something
like that..."
"Well, it sounds alright..."
"Okay then, help me put up these ads."
* * *
It was a relatively new cafe in town. It was not too crowded at the moment,
with some people on their lunch break.
It had a jukebox, filled with an international selection, but with alot of
it was jazz of one sort or another.
It had a stage, currently with a four piece band on it. They were playing
some fairly light jazz, possibly by Dizzie Gilespie.
There was a bar. It was one of those rather nice dark wood oak bars. The
kid of bar that would be great for a movie scene. It was that kind of bar.
It was generally popular, enough so to call its existence a success. It
was built in a bit of a rustic european style, with stone walls and wooden
arches. There was a stage with a band that played jazz and requests for
several hours a day, except on Sundays. There were several wooden tables
in an area next to the band, and further back was the bar.
During its opening weeks, it had already established a regular cast of
characters.
Off at the band stage, Megane and the band were taking a break from
playing. They were in the middle of their tribute to Louis Armstrong.
Ukyo, Akari, Manami, and Ryoko sat around the bar, just as they had been
for the past several weeks. They'd all, entirely by coincidence*, gone to
the same cafe at its grand opening, and had slowly become a small circle of
friends, each with their unique traits.
-------
*coincidence isn't hard to get in Nerima
-------
Ryoko was working there as a waitress. She seemed friendly enough to the
rest of them, but whenever a customer gave her grief, particularly male
customers with roaming hands, she'd watch carefully for the moment when they
stepped out the door, ran out after them, and then beat them savagely.
Definitely a psychotic streak in her. She talked much about Ryoga, alot about
how perfect they'd be together, but every now and then went into a downward
spiral of doubt and angst. Everyone knew the primary concerns by now, like
how Ryoga was exceedingly nervous and always seemed distracted around her,
and he never got along with her brother Ryo, and had never ever said three
certain important words.
Manami would just go there to talk. She was new to this particular part of
town, and she was glad to find friends so fast. She once talked about a
particular boy she'd met in San Francisco, but wouldn't go into details.
The farthest she'd ever gone into discussing _that_ particular event was that
he'd saved her, he'd spent several days with her, and when they were finally
about to kiss, he muttered a name, but not hers. He left immediately after
that. Everyone agreed, whoever this guy was, he was a jerk and Manami reallly
oughta forget about him.
Everyone agreed that Akari had one messed up dating system. It involved
her giant sumo-pig. It went like this: a boy beats her pig, she dates the
boy. Ukyo asked if she had any Chinese Amazon in her blood. The pig had,
in fact, been beaten recently, but nobody saw any details, and the fight from
which it occurred was so frantic that even the participants didn't know
exactly what happened. And so, she continued her investigations and waited
for the day when she would find her man. Until then, her pig was sending
people to the hospital weekly.
Ukyo was just Ukyo. She seemed to be relatively normal, compared to the
rest of them, except for the fact that she always carried around her battle
spatula. Her history was far stranger than any of the other girls, living as
a boy for several years, being one of at least four fiancees to the same guy,
and running her own resteraunt. Ryoko often questioned her about what she
and Ryoga were to each other, since Ryoga _was_ living with her, but Ukyo
had always denied anything. Ukyo was otherwise a voice of reason amongst
the group. She may have had the strangest past, but her current state of mind
was far more stable than everyone else's. Except when it came to the subject
of dating, on which she had declared she had enough of for a while, and would
remain single until she felt better about it.
King was the owner and the bartender of the place. What was known about
her was that she used to participate in the fighting circut, had friends
named Duck King and Heavy D! that visited every now and then, and she
preferred tuxedoes. Sometimes she joined in with the girls in their
conversations, being a source of wisdom, and she often reminded Ryoko to get
back to work. The girls thought she was cool.
On this particular day Ryoko was talking about what her family was up to.
"Ryo got this job down at the tv station. It oughta be airing next week."
"Him? Acting?" said Ukyo sarcastically. She really didn't like Ryo.
"I think it's a gameshow thing, believe it or not. He even got my kid
sister dragged into it."
"Kyoko? Poor kid. She really shouldn't hang around with Ryo." Akari and
the rest of the bunch had met Kyoko. They thought that she was a nice girl,
although a bit hyper. "He's probbably a bad influence."
"Well, he feels bad about not getting a regular job like me and Megane over
there. He thinks he should shoulder the pay for the rent."
"I don't think I'd be able to handle that, living on my own," said Akari.
"I'm not exactly alone..."
"You know what I mean. No parents."
"Oh. Well, Ryo acts like one sometimes, the jerk. And the neighbors *ugh*
those guys get on my nerves..."
"So what does Kyoko do?"
"Oh, she's gonna be enrolled in Furinkan High."
Everyone stared blankly at her.
"Is... there a problem?"
"She's going to Furinkan _High_?"
"Oh, yeah. When it comes to academics, we're kinda ahead on things.
Kyoko oughta be a freshman this year. Me and Megae finished last year. Ryo
should have been into college for two years now."
"Ryo too?" Ukyo couldn't believe this.
"Hey, academic smarts is one thing, wisdom is another thing entirely."
"Well, when you put it like that..."
==============================================================================
-footnotes-
*1 - the earliest method of flight was the interesting technique of running
extremely fast and jumping off a hill. That proved insufficient, so they
tried using a cliff. That DID work, but ancient man was none too pleased
with the landing technique. A small tribe in South America climbed up
a tree and then jumped down with a vine tied to their ankles. This solved
the whole problem of landing, but the amount of time spent in the air
was extremely unsatisfying. The earliest success in flight by a bipedal
species can be credited to an ape-like creature before the time of man
whose name, in animal-speak, roughly translated into Irritable Male With
Big Stripe On Back. This historical ancestor got swiped by a passing
pterodactyl, which angered him greatly. And so our ancestor proceeded
to beat its brains out, in _mid_air_. The accidental result was the
creation of the first hang-glider which flew with surprising
effectiveness, length, and grace. Unfortunately, Irritable Male With Big
Stripe On Back didn't get the concept of a proper landing either....
*2 - see "The More Things Change" - Epilogue. Basically it was a gigantic
mass-melee involving Ryoga, Ranma, Ryo, Tsubasa, Kodachi, Kuno, Gosunkugi,
Ryoko, Kyoko, Megane, Happosai, several bombs, a gas main, a cargo
truck full of fuel, an electrical line cut loose, and of course a very
large explosion.
*3 - "Very well, I shall show thee the might at which I wield a blade in
ANY medium!" declared Kuno. Amazingly, he went on to a record of
80-0 total during the hospital stay. And he _always_ used Jubei,
the only "real" samurai in the game, at least according to Kuno.
*4 - He was next to a mech, a fuel truck, and Happosai. When you're caught
in that situation, you _will_ be hurt.
*5 - He's the secretary.
Misc: Yes, that's King from the SNK vidgame series King Of Fighters'95.
I needed a bar and a sympathetic ear, and since King looked cool and
she was always involved with bars in her background scenery....
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NEXT: CHAPTER 1, PART 1 : Quiz Show
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