Hi!

	Finally, I've done part 3!  The other two parts are at the 
std.com archives.  The usual flames should be sent to omega@io.org



		DOCTOR WHO AND THE TREE OF DOOM
		(An Oh My Goddess! crossover)

			 PART THREE


    The dark corridor continued to be a dark corridor.  The hungry  
beast continued to be a hungry beast, although clearly it did not 
intend to stay that way for long.  

			* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Skuld was eating ice cream. The Doctor was nursing it to her. 
Yana was still a little miffed about the intruder's attack on her 
ephemerally kept pet. 
    "Yana, it's important that we get all the facts before jumping to 
hasty conclusions. She may have had perfectly good reasons for her actions."
    Yana leaned on the control console, wondering if she should be mad 
at the young girl that inexplicably sprang out of her tea--glad she was 
for not drinking it at that particular moment--or be concerned for her 
welfare.  It was a confusing moment that only served to remind her of 
the complexity of balancing two contradictory ideas and still 
continuing to function.
    Skuld, her eyes still closed, weakly opened her mouth to speak. 
"Symptom... reality... bugs..."  She finally undid her eyes to see the 
two time-travellers.  She didn't know they were time-travellers, of 
course, and she didn't know who they were either.  One of them was a 
brown haired woman with large, piercing eyes while the other was a 
tall, yet not slim, man with a mop of curly blonde hair which made him 
resemble a well-loved puppet in America.  Skuld smiled a little at this.
    Astonished at how the ice cream actually bettered, Yana was nearly 
unable to inquire, "Why did you attack us?"
    "I didn't.  I was getting rid of the bug."  She paused for a 
second.  A pained look formed upon her brow.  "Ah!" she cried, seizing 
her forehead.
    "What is it?" The Russian felt helpless. 
    Her eyes crammed shut, the goddess managed to cry out, "Braino!"
    The Doctor realized at once the ailment. "Ice cream headache, 
little girl?"
    "I'm not a little girl, fatso!" protested the little girl.
    The doctor was overcome by a violent and yet completely involuntary 
twitch of his left eyebrow.  He wanted to slap her but no, that was 
out-of-character for him; he couldn't understand why he was reacting 
that way.
    Fortunately, Yana stepped in and successfully defused the 
situation. "Why did you faint?" she asked the stranger who had 
sufficiently recovered enough to enthusiastically finish off her bowl 
of ice cream.
    "My power source appears to be cut off."
    "Your power source?" Yana asked, wondering if the girl was human.
    "From Yggdrassil, the system that maintains reality."
    "Ah, that explains it, of course!" shouted a The Doctor. "You have 
experienced 'Temporal Grace.'"
    "Y'mean we're separated from real time?" Skuld affirmed with 
complete understanding. "How?"
    "By the Tardis, which is actually removed from the space/time 
continuum; therefore, nothing -- no matter, no energy -- can penetrate it."
    "Tardis?"
    Yana piped in, as this was something she at least knew, "This, our 
ship, is the Tardis." She spread her arms around to show off the 
control room.
    "I see. This timeship has cut-off my power supply."  Skuld was 
visibly annoyed.  "I don't like it."
    The Doctor was hurt by her callous comment.  "Once we get rid of 
you, your powers will return," The Doctor suggested and, in 
retaliation, turned away with sudden disinterest in the newcomer.
    "Hi, I'm Yana.  Don't mind the Doctor.  He's a little... eccentric. 
How did you come out of the tea?"
    "That's how I travel around -- via hot water."
    The Doctor faced the blank monitor. "Hot water? Hmm, certainly," he 
mused to himself.  "Something is terribly wrong indeed."
    Yana continued her questioning. "But why have you come here?"
    "Well, I didn't plan this. I was at home minding my own business 
when this blue telephone box began to dissolve from out of a cherry tree--"
    "That's our ship," Yana interrupted.
    "What? The cherry tree?"
    "No, the police box."
    "Funny. You two don't look like policemen," said Skuld, puzzled.
    The Doctor continued to observe the monitor in oscitation.
    Yana explained.  "Actually, the outside appears to be a police box, 
the inside is where we are now."
    "Are you sure? The box I saw was only so big," Skuld said, arms 
outstretched as if to embrace an object approximately one metre wide.
    "That's right. The Doctor once told me that this ship, the Tardis, 
is dimensionally transcendental."
    "Like this?" Skuld said she pulled out a small spherical object 
from under her jacket.  It was obvious to even the casual observer that 
it was impossible for an object the size of a softball to fit inside 
the girl's jacket without causing a protrusion
, even if she were completely flat-chested.  Like the Tardis, her 
inside pocket was larger on the inside than out.
    "You get the idea."
    The Doctor scratched head and his eyes widened in restrained panic.
    "Yana, come over hear a second.  And make sure she doesn't touch 
anything."
    "What is it?"
    "This situation we're in seems familiar.  And the fact that a 
stranger has broken into the Tardis does not bode well for us."
    "Hey!" Skuld piped in. "I can hear you--don't pretend that I'm not 
here!"
    Yana continued the private exchange. "But she's just a child."
    "Am not!" muttered the defiant child.
    "Appearances can be deceiving.  She may just be waiting for the 
right moment to strike, when our defenses are down."
    "You can't be suspicious of everybody.  Have you had your paranoia 
checked out?" Yana questioned.
    "Me, paranoid?  Pah!  I act with good reason.  Besides, usually the 
villain appears at this point in the story so we'd better be careful."
    Totally bored due to lack of attention, Skuld checked out the 
Tardis and decided to rework it.  She pulled out calculator and 
smiled.  'With my alterations, I can make this ship soar,' she thought 
while frenetically jabbing at the calculator keys.
    The Doctor looked over and saw his beloved Tardis console spill its 
wiry guts on the floor. He materialized at her side instantly. "Bad 
child" he grided, resisting the urge to slap her wrist. "So you've been 
sent to sabotage my ship, eh?   See, Yana? 
 She is a spy!"
    "But I was trying to fix it! It's such a rickety old boat, built by 
the lowest bidder. How can you possibly fly in something like this?"
    Yana gave her best air hostess smile.  The floor was beginning to 
feel soft.
    "It works fine.   Now be a good girl and put everything back."
    "Then why aren't we moving?"
    "Ah.  A minor setback." 
    "Doctor!" cried Yana.  She was knee-deep in the Tardis floor which 
was swallowing her up like quicksand.  "What's happening?"
    But before the Timelord could react, he could feel his own feet 
sinking into the off-white ooze. "I don't know; this isn't supposed to 
happen!"  For once, The Doctor did not have an answer.  He knew the 
floor had transformed into pool of treacle where a still afloat console 
acted as a potential support raft for the three bewildered passengers.  
Clutching to the buoyant console, The Doctor managed to pull himself 
out and joined Skuld who had already reached safety--she was currently 
extending her malle t out towards the distressed Yana.
    "Grab a hold of this," Skuld said. A look of concern crossed the 
girl's face. "Don't struggle.  You'll only sink deeper."
    Yana was having trouble keeping her head above surface. "Yeb vas!" 
she cursed, thinking it was too late for those swimming lessons.
    The Doctor, hanging onto the time rotor, attempted to assess the 
situation. "It's not an illusion since the sensors acknowledge the 
phenomena, but the programming is behaving as if the ship were 
functioning normally."
    "Ah ha! A bug in the system?" the goddess beamed triumphantly, 
reaching into one of her pockets to retrieve a pair of HUD glasses.  
Once on her face, she located a bug doing what appeared to be an 
eight-legged version of a breast stroke. "Sorry, Yana.
 This will only take a moment," she announced before pulling her mallet 
away from the drowning woman.
    "What the--" Yana blurted as she submerged completely in the white 
sea for the last time.
    The Doctor prepared to jump in after her as Skuld jumped in the 
opposite direction, cracking her mallet upon the skull of the offending 
bug which promptly imploded.  Suddenly, everything returned to normal 
and Yana was sitting down catching her breath .
    "Aaaargghhh!"  The Doctor screamed, for he had collided with a 
cold, hard and unyielding floor. "Could you warn me when you do 
something rash?"
    "I hope that's it," Yana considered.  Her breath back, she crawled 
over to The Doctor who winced as he felt his shoulder.
    "Thankfully, it's only a dislocated shoulder.  This should only 
take a second," he said.  He braced himself has he twisted his arm.  A 
large cracking sound cut through the air. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
    Yana felt faint.
    "It's not over yet," Skuld said to two hyper-ventilating people.  
"There's bound to be more bugs about."
    The Doctor regained his composure. "Perhaps we could draw them out 
with carrots? Mel would have some."
    "Who?" asked Yana.
    "A companion, like you, but before -- or is it after? -- I met you. 
I'm afraid it is impossible for your human languages to deal with 
non-linear concepts."
    The young goddess adjusted her skirt before continuing. "Ahem.  I 
have the solution and the method to carry it out," she said with pride.
    "If you think you're so clever," The Doctor retorted, "How?"
    "With the help of Mr. Bug Zapper, of course."  She produced a 
contraption that looked like a modified rice cooker, seemly out of 
nowhere but most likely to have originated from that vast, uncharted 
territory of space under her jacket. 
    "But that looks like a modified rice cooker."
    "Switch--ON!!" was her battle cry.  The device  first rattled and 
then hummed to life, producing a vortex of suction power which grabbed 
all bugs in the vicinity.  Several bugs, imbedded in the walls like 
termites, became visible as they resisted the whirlwind sucking them 
in.  Alas, resistance was futile.
    The bugs were gone.
    "Thank goodness that trouble is dealt with," said Yana, relieved 
that she wouldn't be the one left responsible for cleaning up bug entrails.
    "Not quite."
    "Oh, for..." Yana sighed.
    "The bugs in this locality have been eliminated but the source 
remains," Skuld explained, with one eye closed, a big smile barely 
obscured by an erect finger over her mouth.  She was in 'think' mode. 
"I must build a special device."
    Yana wasn't too confident. "But will removing this 'source' get us 
back to reality?"
    "I don't know," the young girl hesitated.
    "Naturally," said The Doctor, "Once this 'source' is eliminated, 
the Tardis will function normally so we can leave this no-zone."
    The Doctor put on his face of smug assuredness. He'd explain it all 
in time. He always did.
    Actually, he was as clueless as they were.


			* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

    Deep in the dark, dank dungeon dwelt a drove of devilish druids 
depositing donations to their deity.  The poster was now firmly 
positioned on the cave wall, looking down at mass of offerings before 
it. The deputy of these cowled brothers, in charge while the real 
leader was in Guam, was pleased with the progress.  The kettle was boiling.
    "Perfect," the intense leader spoke.  He reached out and placed his 
quivering hands upon the beloved icon. "All is in readiness."
    "Careful!" one of the brothers cried. "It cost me nearly 70 bucks 
to frame it."
    "Silence!"
    The cowled critic crawled back cowardly. "Sorry, sir."
    "It's time to put on the sacred music." He pointed towards another
of the monks who nodded in acknowledgment and pulled out the Singles 
Vol.1 compact disc.
    "Make sure you select the right song."
    Yet another druid was feeling anxious. "I dunno.  Wouldn't it be 
wrong to call her up at this time of night?  She might be sleeping."
    The leader tried to maintain his patience as he poured the boiling 
water into a crystal goblet. 
    "Couldn't we call up Sailor Mars?" one brother suggested.
    This perked up the ears of another. "Say, how *does* she fight in 
those heels?"
    "Silence, spammers!  There will be no disrespecting our goddess, 
not in her own shrine.  We are committed now to call her forth," he 
explained darkly to his followers, placing the steaming glass on the 
altar.  Then he began to giggle, "And besides--she's so CUTE!"


			* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    In trundled a curious robot dog with squared off body and head, 
fiercely glowing eyes and eagerly revolving antennae.  He was a complex 
and sophisticated computer, self-powered, independently mobile, and had 
built-in offensive capabilities--in other words, a blaster in his 
nose.  The mechanical hound stopped with a jerk, cocked his head 
slumply to one side and announced in a rasping voice, "Mistress!"
    "This is Mark I Ambulant meta-tyke, code name: Rusty!" announced a 
proud Skuld.
    "It's K-9" The Doctor groaned.  He thought he's seen the last of 
him, gladly leaving him behind in E-Space with Romana. "This is your 
device for locating the bug source?"
    "Mistress!" the mechanical mutt interjected.  "Follow me.  I will 
find the portal."
    The Norse goddess of the future and her new pet left the control 
room before The Doctor and Yana, grabbing her tea, grudgingly followed.
    "Oh well," sighed The Doctor. "He who hebitates, not hesitates, is 
last."
    Traveling for some time along endless corridors, the trio kept up 
with the trail-blazing hound.  Skuld was daunted by this labyrinth 
where even The Doctor, the proverbial Minotaur, could get lost. 
    'Where's the villain?' The Doctor contemplated, 'They usually 
appear this point in the story. Could it be Skuld? No, that innocent 
little girl? Sent here by such to catch me off guard?'
    Finally, the trio arrived at a door.  It was door like any other 
door in the Tardis, so completely uniform that even The Doctor wouldn't 
be sure he had either just arrived or already left.  Rusty, the robot 
dog, scratched the door with a hard edge of its body, indicating that 
it wanted to be let in.
    Skuld was pleased that her invention was working so well. "It's 
your ship, Doctor. After you."
    "No, after you!" The Doctor enthused.
    The slime doesn't trust me, thought Skuld. "Alright, I'll go."
Cautiously, the young goddess and her tin terrier entered the dim-lit room.
    The Timelord and his human companion stood by, waiting.
    A scream was heard from within and the Doctor realized that he may 
have sent an innocent girl to her doom. In a flash, he threw himself 
past the door and into impending danger.
    "No!" he screamed, images danced in his mind of the young girl 
being rendered limb from limb, a terrifying daemon devouring her gory 
stump for a head.
    "All clear, Doctor!" Skuld beamed.  Apparently, she had all her 
limbs intact, and she spoke, not as if a daemon was between bites, but 
with a head unscathed.  Understandably, she was in a good mood.
    "Oh," was all The Doctor could manage.  They were standing in the 
'bathroom', a large room like most rooms in this infinite domain called 
the Tardis but moreover it housed a luxurious swimming pool where, 
rather incongruously, a large cherry tree had taken root.  However, all 
present were more concerned about the rather large panda bear standing 
in front of them.  It was holding a sign that said: 'got any hot water?'
    "Forgive my reaction, Mr. Panda, but you gave me quite a scare," 
Skuld said, sliding her polo mallet back into her belt. She also 
grabbed Yana's tea and passed it on to Mr. Panda.
    "Hey!  I was finishing that," the Russian protested.
    Instead of drinking it, the panda poured the ardent liquid over its 
furry head, and a strange metamorphosis took place:  it had transformed 
into a bespectacled middle-aged man, built in similar proportions as 
his former state but fully clothed in martial arts robe.
    "Ah, thank you, young lady," the man finally spoke, giving a 
gracious bow. "Do you people live here?"
    "I do," answered The Doctor. 
    The stranger smiled. "Do you have anything to eat?  I'm starved."
    "Could you tell me who you are and how you got here?"
    "Forgive my rudeness--My name is Genma Saotome.  I was doing some 
martial arts training with my son who, in the heat of the moment, threw 
me towards a large tree.  But as I braced myself for impact, it never 
came--I found myself here."
    "But weren't you just a Panda a moment ago?" Yana wondered.
    "Ah, yes.  To make a long story short, I have this curse that 
changes me into a panda whenever I'm doused with cold water.  When I 
appeared here, I fell into your pool. Sorry."
    The Doctor smiled. "You wouldn't be from late 20th century Japan, 
would you?"
    "Why, of course!  Isn't that where we are?" Genma demanded.
    "It must be the cherry tree!" Skuld said, pulling out her HUD 
glasses once more.  Through its special lenses, she could discern the 
activities of a very active bug portal. "It's the same one that brought 
me here."
    "And you were from 20th century Japan?"
    "Yes."
    "That's where we were going!"  Yana realized.
    "Aha!" The Doctor shouted triumphantly.   "When we landed we 
somehow materialized around this same cherry tree, although usually the 
fail-safe mechanism would correct any error in co-ordinates and land us 
in a nearby, safer area."
    "So all we have to do micro-jump out of the tree, right?" said Yana.
    "That's the problem: How?  The Tardis is out of space/time, meaning 
our connection to reality is tenuous at best. I can't get it to move."
    "So we are actually inside the tree then?"
    "I believe so."
    "But if we all arrived inside at the same time, how come we didn't 
meet each other on the outside?" Skuld asked.
    "I have a nebulous feeling that we originally occupied the same 
space and time--but in alternate dimensions."
    Yana was beginning to put the pieces together. "You're suggesting 
that Skuld, and Genma here, do not exist on 'my' earth?"
    "Bingo!" The Doctor was really proud of her; she would pass the 
Gallifreyan School of Time-Travelling Companions course in no time.  
    "Could we possibly eat first?" said Genma.
    "This cherry tree," The Doctor continued as everyone looked at the 
tree, "must be common in a number of realities. But what caused it to 
become a nexus point?"
    In realization, Skuld felt a little guilty. "Maybe--"
    But before she could finish, a green glow emanated from the tree 
and bathed the people with its verdancy.  A strange numbing sensation 
enveloped their bodies.
    "Mistress!" Rusty interjected.
    "What's happening?" said Skuld.
    "Photosynthesis!" cried the dog.  "You are all being consumed by 
the tree!"
    As their discorporated forms were absorbed into the vegetable mass, 
the programmed pet could only watch.  The final sensation the four 
experienced before unconsciousness was the feeling of being breathed 
in, like a puff of air molecules being sucked into the air sacs of a lung.
    Whiteness.

 


				END OF PART THREE
















--------------
omega@io.org
small sig, eh?
--------------